Chapter 121 I Am Also Me (Part 9) Even if the universe views me, I am also...

Wei Yuanye said that his so-called crime was that he had secretly traveled through dimensions. When his thinking was still unclear, he felt sorry for the three-dimensional creatures and pretended to be God, giving "oracles" to ordinary people, allowing too many people to experience dimensional upgrading. This not only disrupted the normal operation of the world, but also caused these people to cause a lot of trouble. Wei Yuanye has been constantly patching it up. When God was patrolling the various universes, he discovered his existence and locked him up. In the superposition state of his life, half of it was spent in prison and the other half was spent on Earth.

And these two, in fact, are both prisons for him.

Wei Yuanye said, "I left here that day because I'd been running away all my life, trapped in the chains of cause and effect. I no longer knew if I could succeed. Cause and effect, time, and all that stuff had worn me down to the point where I'd lost my senses. I felt that only by escaping could I think about the future."

Zhang Deng said, "You are right. That is your dream."

"To you," Zhang Deng asked, "am I particularly childish?"

Zhang Deng said, "Sometimes I think, for you, having seen so many people and things, I'm sure—"

Wei Yuanye said: "No."

He didn't let Zhang Deng finish his sentence, interrupting him quickly. "From the beginning, I wanted to use you. I calculated that you would be a variable and a hindrance to me on the day when the Heaven Gate opened. According to Bufa's plan, you would be on his side, so I wanted to keep you by my side and wait and see. I knew when Bufa contacted you. I didn't stop you two from contacting each other, so I was lying to you."

Wei Yuanye didn't argue. He punished himself for all his crimes: "Do you think that using my whole life to pay for it is enough?"

Zhang Deng waved his hand and said, "Don't be like this."

He seemed to have heard the hidden meaning in Wei Yuanye's words, but he didn't dare to confirm it or mention it.

Wei Yuanye said: "But I have decided to do this."

Zhang Deng opened his mouth and tears flowed into it, tasting a little salty.

Wei Yuanye said, "You think I've lived a long time and seen a lot of things, but I've always been in a hurry and never stopped to look at the things that passed by me. When I came to Earth, my mind was still immature. When I was on Earth, I only wanted to escape quickly. I always thought I was smart and didn't care about the people around me. I didn't even pay attention to what they looked like."

"I know you no longer trust me," Wei Yuanye said, "You think I'm cunning, and that's true."

"But cunning is innate to me. I can't help it." These words were very embarrassing for Wei Yuanye. He lowered his head and looked at his toes. "I really don't deserve it. I know. But I can do it. Can you give me another chance?"

He didn't hear Zhang Deng's reply. After a while, he looked at Zhang Deng's expression and found that Zhang Deng had wiped away his tears, clutching the bottle of water, and looked panicked.

This was both a great joy and a huge disaster for Zhang Deng.

"I can't," Zhang Deng refused, but he also made a lot of excuses, afraid that Wei Yuanye would leave soon. "You...what are you doing here? I can't afford this. You have your own world, which is much better than here. This place is like a prison. I can't let you spend your whole life here with me. I'm sure you will regret it."

Wei Yuanye finally smiled. He gently placed his hand on Zhang Deng's cold one, tentatively, without making any further movement. He just kept it there, giving him a little warmth, and then said, "That doesn't sound like something you would say."

Zhang Deng collapsed and said, "I am just a very stupid person."

He couldn't control his emotions again. He beat his chest and stamped his feet: "I have never seen anyone more stupid than me. I am an idiot."

Why, why do I always have to make a choice? How can I make a choice?

Zhang Deng doesn’t understand. Why does he have to make so many choices when he just wants to live an ordinary life?

Wei Yuanye didn't dare to laugh anymore. He withdrew his hand stiffly, put it in his pocket, and waited silently for Zhang Deng's verdict.

Zhang Deng was slow to make a decision.

Wei Yuanye said: "When I come back, I will lose all my abilities."

"I'm thinking, I don't have any education, I'm afraid I won't be able to find a job," Wei Yuanye said quietly, "maybe delivering food would be a good fit for me."

Zhang Deng: "It's very competitive. The registration for riders is full, and now they are implementing a last-in-first-out system."

Wei Yuanye: "I run very fast."

Zhang Deng snorted.

Wei Yuanye said: "I have secretly seen you a few times. I know that you are doing well. I also know that there are people who like you."

"What's the point of saying that?"

Wei Yuanye said, "Whatever you choose is your freedom. As long as I'm here, I'll always feel that I have an obligation to protect you. I don't have anything else. I said I could give you my whole life, but it's actually worthless to you. However, the only thing I have is a long life. If you're willing to see me, I'll be there whenever you call."

Love is inferiority. Even Wei Yuanye knows that he made a mistake. He knows that all his goodwill has returned to zero. He knows that he cannot compare with other men, and he also feels that he has no competitiveness.

Zhang Deng smiled and touched him.

"You don't have to worry about whether my life is worth living," Wei Yuanye said. "Nothing in my life is important."

Zhang Deng: "Are you a pervert?"

"It may not be," Wei Yuanye said in self-abandonment, "it depends on you."

It starts from emotion and ends with etiquette. Zhang Deng has never seen Wei Yuanye's body movements so restrained. He didn't dare to touch Zhang Deng, nor did he dare to defend himself. Zhang Deng looked at Wei Yuanye's expression and found that love in the end is heartache.

He couldn't stand Wei Yuanye lowering his posture. It felt like he was stabbing his own flesh with a knife.

Zhang Deng looked at the cake and asked, "What's the filling?"

Wei Yuanye was caught off guard by the question. He rummaged through the cake box and didn't see any label on it. He said, "I didn't ask."

"I'm starting to be allergic to mangoes," Zhang Deng said. "The doctor said it's because my immunity is low."

"Too thin." Wei Yuanye said.

Zhang Deng: "Are there any mangoes in this?"

How would Wei Yuanye know? He only knew that expensive things were good. He didn't hear what kind of cream or cake base it was, or where the fruit was imported from. He just said he wanted the best one. Wei Yuanye's face even turned red. He felt that this made him look very unattractive and he was not attentive enough.

Wei Yuanye immediately offered a remedy: "Buy another one."

"No need," Zhang Deng looked at Wei Yuanye, tears forming in his eyes again, "Xiao Mi hasn't seen you for a long time, would you like to take a look?"

Wei Yuanye: “…”

Wei Yuanye was stunned for a moment before he said, "Okay."

Zhang Deng stood up, feeling a little dazed. It might be because he hadn't eaten all day and had only drunk a few sips of lemonade, or it might be because of the dizziness caused by the huge shock.

Wei Yuanye stretched out one arm and hugged his back. After a while, he stretched out another arm, hugged him tightly, and held him in his chest.

Zhang Deng heard Wei Yuanye's heartbeat coming from his chest, and the two people's heartbeats were like drums, intertwined.

The hustle and bustle of traffic passed by behind me, the sky was full of stars above my head, and the huge tide of the universe surged past my feet.

Under the huge and macro proposition, Zhang Deng still feels like a naive child.

Zhang Deng couldn't figure out whether love was a fictitious false proposition, nor could he figure out what the point of becoming a Buddha or an immortal was.

The blue veins on Wei Yuanye's arms were like a mountain, locking him in his body. Wei Yuanye's heart was like a river, with the gurgling blood flowing through the mountain and into Zhang Deng's body.

He knew it was a complete defeat. Zhang Deng had spent countless nights trembling with anger, hating this and that, vowing never to forgive. But then, as soon as Yuanye appeared and waved, he was back to wagging his tail. It was as if all those years of pain had been wiped out so easily. But he searched through his account books, uncovering countless traces of hatred. A closer look revealed a single, clear inscription: "I love Wei Yuanye."

Wei Yuanye also lost. The proud peacock was defeated for a chick, leaving his feelings on the earth and making God laugh.

Anyone who looks at their feelings will find it absurd and ridiculous, like a gnat trying to shake a tree or a mantis trying to stop a chariot in this huge world.

So what? We have to live at least.

Just like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the mountain, as long as you are not dead, you must keep going. In order to make yourself live a happier life, just be a stupid fool.

Zhang Deng looked up at the starry sky from his embrace. They were all under the gaze of the stars.

He knew that God was watching, Chi Xiaoxia was watching, Bufa was watching, and many, many observers were watching.

Zhang Deng also hugged Wei Yuanye back.

You can go and see it.

I observe the floating world as the universe observes me.

Even if the universe views me, I am still me.

——End of the full text——