Chapter 80: Sisyphus Tune. Whatever.

Maybe Bai Yan already knew that he had gone astray, but by the time he realized it, he had already gone too far on this road.

Bai Yan protected their lives at the last moment, which shows that Bai Yan has understood that some people cherish life and accepts this absurd struggle in life.

People always fall in the same place again and again, and yearn for that kind of pain again, where pain and love sing together.

What is even more regrettable is that Bai Yan's final action made him one of the pitiful people. In this mission, he couldn't even find anyone to utter vicious words to curse.

All Zhang Deng could see was the resonance of one painful soul after another. They were lured into the sweet poisonous water, but Bai Yan, who lured them, only glimpsed a ray of light in the absurd universe and thought he could be the savior who saved all lives.

Everyone thought they were pursuing happiness, but in the end they all died in the illusion of happiness.

Wei Yuanye looked at Bai Yan for a long time, until Bai Yan seemed to be unable to hold on any longer. Wei Yuanye said, "Maybe I know your teacher."

Zhang Deng knew that Wei Yuanye had also softened his heart.

"Next time I see him," Wei Yuanye said, "I'll tell him you've done your best."

When Bai Yan heard this, his pupils contracted violently, then slowly expanded.

Wei Yuanye perhaps understood Bai Yan. All Bai Yan sought was his teacher's forgiveness. He had failed to fulfill his teacher's mission and died in embarrassment. This might be his only regret. After hearing this, Bai Yan left with peace of mind.

Later, Songhua found her mother's body not far from the door. She seemed much calmer this time, perhaps because she was numb.

Everyone spontaneously began to deal with the scene, using various connections and finding various people to clean up Bai Yan's body and handle the funeral for Song Hua's mother. When filling out the form, Zhang Deng saw that Song Hua's mother's name was "Song Baiwei".

He didn't know why he stared at the name for a long time.

When a person, or a woman, reaches a certain age and has children, will they lose their name and appearance?

Zhang Deng realized that he didn't know what Li Mai's mother's name was.

Li Mai came over, patted him on the shoulder, and said, "What are you thinking about?"

Zhang Deng was stunned for a moment and said, "Nothing?"

"Is your sister okay?" Zhang Deng asked.

Li Mai said, "I feel much better after taking the medicine. The director is taking care of me all the time, and my mom can't even help."

Zhang Deng said, "That's good."

"Bullshit," Li Mai said, "My mom doesn't like that director and she absolutely refuses to agree."

Zhang Deng asked, "Where's your sister?"

Li Mai took a puff of his cigarette and said, "Who knows what she's thinking? She treats men like dogs."

No matter what, Zhang Deng is still happy that their family can reconcile.

Zhang Deng said: "You are really a very brave person."

"I'm not brave," Li Mai said, looking into Zhang Deng's eyes through the smoke. "I'm strong."

The word "strong" seems to be very important to Li Mai. She used to mention these two words repeatedly. She always solemnly declared that she was strong. Maybe it was to hypnotize herself, or maybe she really liked this word and could really do it.

No matter what, Li Mai brought a great shock to Zhang Deng. It can be said that every woman in Li Mai's family brought different degrees of impact to Zhang Deng.

This made Zhang Deng start to think about whether his understanding of women was too superficial and short-sighted.

However, there are also women's families like Songhua, which become loose and miserable because of women. But there are also hidden deep secrets behind this. For example, Li Mai's family is still better than Songhua's. She has some brothers and sisters who can help her share some of the pressure from the family, but Songhua is alone.

Songhua lost her mother and her teacher, which was naturally due to her own personality, but it was definitely not just the reason. Songhua's family never taught her how to love or be loved. No one told her the various ways to survive happily in this world. They brought Songhua only endless fear. In order to avenge this fear, Songhua always tended to make such self-destructive choices.

Li Mai and Song Hua actually got along very well. The two of them leaned against the SUV and chatted. Li Mai offered her a cigarette, but Song Hua refused. Li Mai said, "Actually, you can have a little."

"Give yourself some breathing space," Li Mai said, "and relax a little."

Songhua shook her head. She looked a little haggard, but her spirit was still good.

Zhang Deng thought she would not be able to survive, but unexpectedly, Songhua seemed to be on the verge of collapse. However, no matter what happened, everything was moving forward normally. Whether it was her mother's funeral or Bai Yan's funeral, she handled it well.

Zhang Deng's chin is much better, but the bruise has turned purple and red, which looks painful, but in fact it is not that painful anymore. There is still an uncomfortable pulling sensation in the bones when he speaks, but it is now completely tolerable.

Songhua has a very strange feeling for Zhang Deng. When Zhang Deng talks to her, Songhua always seems a little restrained.

Zhang Deng asked, "What are your subsequent plans?"

Songhua's eyes flashed with confusion for a moment, and then she said, "I don't know yet."

"My good friend, Liu Bo," Li Mai said, "is looking for a logistics support position at their school. Are you interested?"

Zhang Deng knew that Li Mai asked this because she must have already inquired about everything for her. As long as Songhua agreed, she could start working directly.

Songhua was a little hesitant: "I've never done it before."

"You have to try everything you do," Li Mai said to Songhua. "No matter what you do, there will always be a beginning. If you fear this feeling in life, you will never get out of your current situation."

Songhua was still a little stubborn: "But I..."

But no matter what I say, I can't give any specific reason.

Zhang Deng said, "You don't seem like such a timid person."

Songhua said: "I'm not a coward, I..."

"Do you want to find another 'teacher'?" Li Mai looked at her seriously.

Songhua was stumped by her question and was stunned for a long time.

Zhang Deng said, "Why do you have to do this?"

After asking, he immediately understood, because this was the only thing Songhua understood.

In Songhua's life, the only days she is familiar with are the days when she is protected by "God", and this is the normal life for her.

Zhang Deng was stung by this fact, and then he looked at Li Mai, using his eyes to dissuade Li Mai from continuing.

Zhang Deng asked, "Have you decided where to go?"

"What about you?" Songhua asked back, "You... I heard you're writing a book, right?"

Zhang Deng: “…”

"What do you mean?" Zhang Deng asked.

Songhua said, "If you write it, can you give me a copy?"

Zhang Deng finally understood where Songhua's tenseness towards him came from: So that's it!

Songhua also regarded him as her spiritual leader.

Zhang Deng was unable to shoulder such a heavy responsibility. He refused repeatedly and said, "You should go find someone more enlightened."

Songhua is an amazing person.

Zhang Deng didn't know how to describe it. He fell in love with his teacher at school, fell in love with his instructor during training, fell in love with his boss at work, fell in love with the kidnapper when he was kidnapped, and fell in love with the police when he was rescued. Because he had many flaws but was extremely tenacious, he was like a program full of bugs but accidentally able to run. He was in a relatively unsolvable state.

Compared to Songhua, whose life always suffers because of falling in love with men, Li Mai's life is not much easier. Sister Hong took advantage of the fact that she had a lot of troubles in her life recently and was always taking leave, and really got promoted to the position of minister.

When Li Mai met Zhang Deng again later, he described the situation to him as follows: "I felt like I was finished."

The two of them sat downstairs in the company. Li Mai held the coffee in his left hand and lit a cigarette with his right hand.

Zhang Deng also repeated: "I feel like it's over."

Zhang Deng asked, "Will she kill you?"

"Huh?" Li Mai asked curiously, "Why?"

Zhang Deng: "Don't you mean she bullied you?"

"What's going on? It's just work. How can I be bullied?" Li Mai said. "She even gave me half a month's vacation."

Zhang Deng: “…”

Li Mai said, "I mean, she's in her prime. If I wait until she retires before taking over, I'll have no hope in my life."

Zhang Deng suddenly realized that he had been mean-spirited.

"She's already pretty competitive working on her own," Li Mai said after taking his last puff. "Working under her is incredibly stressful. But it doesn't matter. You can still learn something useful."

Li Mai has already planned his future in a flash: "When I change jobs in the future, it will be helpful for me to work on more good projects."

Li Mai really wanted to defeat Sister Hong and become minister, but it was no longer possible. She had no objection to accepting the result. She even felt that working under a female minister might make her more comfortable in some way outside of work.

The world gave Li Mai many cards, none of which she wanted, but she had no choice but to play them all out in an attempt to exchange them for better cards.

Many plans in life have failed and I have to try again, only to fail again after trying again.

Despite this, Li Mai does not feel that she is going in circles. She calls her life a spiral, moving forward in twists and turns, with a slow pace and long-term deficits. But overall, when playing cards with fate, even if you don't win or gain, you can always look forward to the next move.

Zhang Deng discovered that Li Mai's vitality was so strong that she never noticed that she was alive.

She does not discuss empty words such as life, women, survival, and meaning. She spends a day in this world as a woman. She is naturally a feminist. She can still breathe, she has her own vitality, she is still working, and she has her own meaning.

Li Mai concluded all the huge discussions on himself: solve problems when they arise.

Perhaps the truth that Bai Yan sought had already been revealed to him, but he just didn't notice it.

Just like Sisyphus in the fable, who was punished by the gods to roll a huge rock to the top of the mountain, he failed again and again and was in a meaningless task that could never succeed. In the eyes of the gods, this was the cruelest punishment for mankind - to do something hard and impossible to succeed for eternity.

This is also a metaphor for the fate of mankind, which is in this absurd situation.

Li Mai would just roll the boulder up the mountain again and again, her toes stomping hard on the ground. With every breath, sweat, and exhaustion, she wished she could open all her pores to feel the happiness, expand the meaning of life to the maximum, and enjoy and embrace it.

Although failure will come, happiness will not be discounted.

Li Mai leaned against the front of the car and finished her cigarette. She squinted her eyes and looked at the sunset. The phone rang. Li Mai smiled as she picked it up: "What's wrong? Xiao Bai."

Zhang Deng heard the girl opposite her invite her to go to a newly opened restaurant together in the evening.

"So annoying," Li Mai threw away his cigarette butt, "I'm trying to lose weight."

Huang Jingjing interrupted and said, "We'll reduce it tomorrow."

Liu Bo said, "We have to celebrate Jingjing's breakup for a week."

"That's really important," Li Mai said with a smile, "there's nothing we can do about it."

After hanging up the phone, Zhang Deng said, "I'm leaving now."

"I know." Li Mai said.

"I hope I can lose weight next time we meet." Li Mai said, then denied himself, "Forget it, it's too unlucky. I might not see you again in this lifetime."

The two of them laughed at the same time. Wei Yuanye walked over with Zhang Deng's schoolbag on his back and a big bag in his hand.

Zhang Deng asked, "What is this?"

Wei Yuanye: "Bread."

Zhang Deng: “…”

"You won't be able to buy it when you go back," Wei Yuanye said smartly, "buy more so you can share it with your friends."

Zhang Deng said, "It's not like everyone has ever eaten bread before...it's really not that delicious. Forget it, I've already bought it."

"What are you getting?" Zhang Deng picked out a few nice ones and gave them to Li Mai.

Li Mai couldn't help it, so he opened a beautiful cake on the spot, took a bite, and said, "It's too sweet."

"I'm talking about you two." Li Mai said.

Li Mai gritted his teeth and said, "I wish you two happiness."

Zhang Deng laughed, and the three of them took turns hugging each other.

Li Mai said, "Will we meet again?"

"I hope so," Zhang Deng said, "but if not, we don't have to worry, because we will all live well."

Li Mai said, "Yes."

"Say goodbye to your family for me," Zhang Deng said, "I wish you peace."

Li Mai didn't cry at all, nor did Zhang Deng. The only sentimental thing Wei Yuanye said was, "You don't need to lose weight, you're fine like this."

Li Mai laughed and said, "Stop lying to me."

"I'll just lose weight to around 120 pounds," Li Mai said. "I've never pursued being very thin, just looking healthy is enough."

Li Mai said: "I won't be competing for the ministerial position anymore, so I don't feel any pressure anymore. I will continue to lose weight slowly and steadily."

In the end, Li Mai still did not give up on this matter, which is also in line with her character. No matter what others say, she has her own persistence.

Before saying goodbye, Li Mai grabbed Zhang Deng's hand and stuffed something into it.

Zhang Deng opened her palm and saw the knife with her name engraved on it.

He wanted to refuse, but Li Mai made him take it without hesitation, saying, "Your job seems to be quite dangerous. Take it to protect yourself."

Zhang Deng was so touching, yet I felt that the scene was familiar.

"Really nice to meet you." Zhang Deng said.

Li Mai said, "Me too, my friend."

Li Mai said: "I really learned a lot from you, you are so cool."

But this is actually what Zhang Deng wanted to say.

Li Mai said, "Stop talking. Go away and don't add to my sorrow."

Zhang Deng had no choice but to turn around and leave first. Wei Yuanye glanced at Li Mai and waved to her.

Li Mai raised his chin and said goodbye to him in a very casual manner.

Zhang Deng just turned a corner and immediately grabbed Wei Yuanye's hand. He looked around and asked Wei Yuanye, "Did you find it?"

"No." Wei Yuanye said.

The reason why they stayed in this world for so long was that Wei Yuanye wanted to find out if there was any antidote in Bai Yan's house, but he never found it. There was no way to delay any longer, so he had to go back.

Zhang Deng frowned and said, "If we can find the recipe, that'll be fine. If that doesn't work, we can go to that offshore Qi-dolphin world and see if we can catch one."

Wei Yuanye felt that his idea was too crazy and said, "This world has been closed. We can't enter. Only those who collect have permission."

Zhang Deng asked, "What about forcing your way in?"

Wei Yuanye: “…”

Zhang Deng: "Hacking skills?"

Wei Yuanye said: "The World Tree is not a place to be so careless."

"Well," Zhang Deng said, "I thought traveling in our world was so easy, so this kind of thing would be easy too."

Wei Yuanye said, "The ability to travel the world easily is considered a benefit for our employees. We're already turning a blind eye to it."

"Because sometimes we do need to go in and out of other worlds to do things, and the procedures take a long time, so we don't really care about this matter. As long as there is no trouble, it's okay to go secretly. This is the attitude of the World Tree."

Only then did Zhang Deng realize that this was the case.

Isn't that the only solution? Zhang Deng said anxiously, "If I go back, won't my memory be erased again?"

"It doesn't matter if it's eliminated," Wei Yuanye said, "It won't matter this time, and I won't be participating in many missions in the future, so it should be fine."

Zhang Deng was not very satisfied with this outcome, but he had to admit that his abilities were limited and there were some things he really could not do.

The setting sun is like a salted egg yolk falling on the horizon. The last sunlight of winter penetrates the tall buildings and shines on every person walking through the steel and concrete.

On this busy and ordinary weekday, some people are able to get off work on time, take the same subway they usually take, hold the lunch box they brought in the morning, and lean tiredly on the subway pillar while browsing their mobile phones.

In the vast urban jungle, everyone assumes that the world is playing a zero-sum game, which means that the interests of the participants are completely opposite, and the gain of one party is always at the expense of the loss of the other party, but you win and I lose, and the final result is always zero.

People who leave work early may not be the happiest people, and people who work overtime until late at night may not necessarily gain much. In the face of predatory rules of the game, the sum of your and my luck and misfortune is zero.

But the subway always moves forward, just like the train in you and me never goes off track.

We can't change anything, but we draw the "0" huge.

huge!

——End of Volume 3 Zero-Sum Game——