Chapter 38 Yang Huameng, don't even think about taking her away from me.

Zhu Qing lowered her eyes and remained silent.

However, her body still felt a tingling, numb sensation from being invaded. The feeling of being unable to control her body and being able to breathe only in his palm made her both fearful and pleasured.

She simply felt that Feng Huaihe's sexual ability did not seem to be affected by the drugs.

Fortunately, his appearance was one in a million, and his physique was even better. She could reach out and touch his muscular physique, which she could use to comfort herself and pretend that she had slept with a clean and impressive male model.

Moreover, his breathing was more pleasant than hers when he climaxed.

Zhu Qing now retains memories of her previous life.

She still remembered her marriage to Zhang Yin. She couldn't help but compare the two; Zhang Yin was gentle and reserved, and his figure was more graceful, unlike Feng Huaihe, who was fierce and violent, and had a stronger physique.

Zhu Qing hurriedly shook her head. What exactly was she comparing?

"What are you thinking about?" Feng Huaihe's voice suddenly rang out. Zhu Qingmeng snapped back to reality, looked up in surprise, and met his slightly narrowed, probing gaze.

"No..." I was afraid he would pursue the matter.

Feng Huaihe pursed his lips and stared at her for a long time, but thankfully didn't ask any more questions. He then handed the medicine closer.

Zhu Qing took it, drank it all in one gulp, and then a green plum was handed to him.

Zhu Qing didn't take it. Seeing him discard the plums, she picked up the bowl and medicine bowl, put them down, and asked, "Where are my elder brother and the others?"

“You still know how to worry,” Feng Huaihe said with a faint smile, his tone sarcastic. “If you’re really worried, you can’t be so willful next time. My patience has its limits.”

"you……"

"Secretary," Tian Jiuzhu knocked on the door, her voice interrupting Zhu Qing abruptly. Zhu Qing heard Tian Jiuzhu say from outside, "I have something to report."

Feng Huaihe got up and straightened the blankets for Zhu Zhengyang. "I've had some clothes made for you and Zhu Zhengyang and the others to change into for the season. Someone will bring them over later. Take care of yourself." He then casually added, "If you're bored, read some storybooks. I'll be back tonight."

Come back? What for?

Zhu Qing felt her blood boil and wanted to rush up and grab his neck so he could never speak again.

Ignoring her anger, Feng Huaihe turned and left.

Outside the door, he and Tian Jiuzhu were whispering to each other. It was hard to hear clearly, but the words "Jing Wan" could be vaguely heard.

Zhu Qing went back to sleep and took another nap.

Autumn arrives quickly and suddenly in Chang'an. After a rain, a cold front arrives, bringing a chilly feeling.

Zhu Qing wrapped herself in a thick quilt and slept comfortably, recovering some of her energy.

She was already a bit weak, and after a whole night of exhaustion yesterday, she was even more exhausted. But she didn't know what Feng Huaihe had added to the medicine he gave her, which made her recover faster than the medicine Zhu Yubo had given her.

After sleeping for half a day, Zhu Qing's energy and spirit were fully restored, and he was even more energetic than before.

I had just woken up and finished lunch when I heard footsteps coming from outside the Washing Flower Hall.

A short while later, Zhu Zhengyang, along with Nie Zhen, Manman, Zhu Yubo, and Zhuo Yunmeng, entered the Xihua Hall.

Zhu Qing stood up from the round stool with a playful smile and looked at them with surprise: "Are you alright?" She had thought that Feng Huaihe would not let her see them for a while after teaching them a lesson.

But she also remembered what Tian Jiuzhu had said: her family was Feng Huaihe's only bargaining chip, and he would not take action unless absolutely necessary.

The whole family came forward and sat around the table. Zhu Zhengyang asked curiously, "We were halfway there when someone sent a letter saying that your plans had changed and that we should turn back. Did something go wrong?"

May you be free from suffering and hardship.

I don't know how to tell them about the few things that happened with Feng Huaihe.

She had no choice but to evade the question, instead asking, "The letter I wrote? I wrote it myself?"

“I’ve looked closely,” Zhu Yubo interjected, “It’s your handwriting. My third brother went on a business trip with Sangguo and hasn’t returned yet.”

Zhu Qing chuckled inwardly. Feng Huaihe had really put in a lot of effort for today; he had even learned her handwriting.

She casually said it was fine and comforted her family to wait for the right time before setting off, but deep down she was also very uncertain.

Fortunately, they didn't suspect anything. While they were thinking, a warm hand took Zhu Qing's hand. Zhu Qing looked up and saw Zhuo Yunmeng smiling as she put a string of Buddhist beads on her wrist.

Having suffered from heart disease for many years, Zhuo Yunmeng's voice was soft: "This is a peace bead that my mother prayed for for me when I was a child. You can use it. Thank you for taking me out of Qingxi Village." Otherwise, she wouldn't know which family her father would have betrothed her to.

Looking at the string of Buddhist beads, Zhu Qing thought of Zhuo Yunmeng's mother, who had taken her up the mountain to find food during a famine, only to be carried away by a tiger.

After that, Zhuo Yunmeng developed a heart condition.

What her deceased mother had given her, she gave to herself. Zhu Qing's feelings were complicated. Perhaps in such a chaotic world, being able to help her survive was a great blessing, but in fact, it was all done by Feng Huaihe, and had nothing to do with her.

Zhu Qing vaguely sensed that Feng Huaihe seemed to know very well what she wanted.

If she were to regain her prehistoric memories, the first thing she would do would undoubtedly be to change the fate of her loved ones from their previous lives.

Feng Huaihe had already done it before her.

She suddenly remembered something from her past life.

In his previous life, his elder brother joined Huang Chao's army and protected Huang Chao to Shandong. Huang Chao was killed by his subordinates, and Huang Chao's rebel army began to emerge. Zhu Zhengyang also disappeared without a trace.

He abandoned Nie Zhen and Manman, and endured a difficult period of waiting.

After more than ten years of suppression, Huang Chao's rebel army was finally wiped out, but Zhu Zhengyang returned alive and reunited with his wife and daughters.

Of the three brothers, Zhu Zhengyang had the most turbulent life, but his ending was the most fulfilling. After that, he spent the rest of his life not in military campaigns, but with his wife and daughters.

Could Feng Huaihe have been involved in this as well? He found Zhu Zhengyang among the scattered rebels and safely escorted him back to his wife and daughters. Was this a simple matter in ancient times, without transportation or the internet?

“Oh, right,” Nie Zhen said, pulling Zhu Qing back to reality, “When we came back today, we heard something. It’s said that Taoist Jingwan was assassinated and is gone.”

Zhu Qing was stunned. Feng Huaihe's teacher, she died in her previous life, but he was still alive!

Zhu Zhengyang added, "I heard that his head was chopped off and hung at the entrance of the West Market, but we didn't go to see it, so we don't know what it looks like."

Zhu Yubo: "Who do you think did this? Have you heard Feng Huaihe mention it?"

Zhu Qing listened and fell into deep thought.

Could it be that Tian Jiuzhu called Feng Huaihe for this matter? But Jing Wan is highly respected in Chang'an; who would assassinate him? And how could they possibly succeed?

-

In Chang'an, on the road in front of the palace gates, where officials usually wait for their carriages before going on duty, a luxurious carriage was parked today, despite the officials being on leave.

Inside the carriage, Zhang Yin sat facing a red-robed eunuch.

This eunuch was Zhang Chengye, whose status was slightly lower than Tian Lingzi's, and who had some blood ties with Zhang Yin.

Zhang Yin carefully discussed their future plans with Zhang Chengye, and they decided to go to Jinyang, where they would depart soon.

Hearing that he was determined to leave, Zhang Chengye pondered for a moment and said to him, "I have some connections with Li Keyong of Jin, and I originally planned to go to Jin to help him after His Majesty went to Xingyuan. I didn't expect you to have the same idea. You should go first, and I will write him a letter of divorce so that he can take care of you."

Zhang Yin clasped his hands in a fist and bowed in gratitude, saying, "Thank you, Uncle Gan."

Zhang Yin thought that with his uncle's help, he could make a good progress in Jinyang. Once things were settled, he would write a letter to Zhu Qing.

If Chang'an is too chaotic, she can bring her family to him, and he will definitely help her.

Zhang Yin believed that he had received a lot of education in the first half of his life, and with his talent, he would definitely make a name for himself in Jinyang!

-

The Feng residence.

Feng Huaihe squatted by the pond in the Li family's courtyard, scattering handfuls of fish food into the pond.

As he watched the carp scrambling for food, he listened to Chen Zhong, who was standing behind him, report: "The matter is settled. Can our transaction end now?"

"There is one last thing."

Feng Huaihe's tone was inscrutable: "I'll give you some money. Go to Jinyang for me. Find a man named Zhang Yin and kill him."

Chen Zhong frowned slightly.

Since the transaction began, the first thing Feng Huaihe did for him was to kill his division commander, Jing Wan, and the second thing was to kill a nobody named Zhang Yin whom he had never heard of.

He had previously heard of Feng Huaihe's wisdom and virtue.

He has a broad vision, skillful methods, and astonishing shrewdness. All sorts of good and bad literary figures are associated with him, but we have never heard of him being ruthless!

Feng Huaihe added, "I want you to do it neatly, preferably without anyone noticing, so it looks like an accident, and won't cause me any trouble."

Otherwise, if Zhu Qing, being so clever, were to discover this, she would definitely argue with him.

Feng Huaihe didn't ask for her love, he only wanted her by his side so he could be in a better mood. In their past life, they even argued before their deaths, and he really didn't want to do that again.

Chen Zhong nodded: "Yes."

Just as he was about to leave, Feng Huaihe said, "Some of the Feng family's shops in Luoyang were destroyed by Huang Chao and have been almost completely destroyed. But they still exist in Chang'an. Have Chen Sangguo choose a few shops and help her move them to Jinyang. They will then be her property, and when she marries Zhu Feichuan, she won't be looked down upon."

"This is... the dowry?" Chen Zhong asked in surprise.

Feng Huaihe tacitly agreed.

Chen Zhongdao said, "Keep it for yourself. It's hard to say what the future holds. The Feng family is such a large clan that if Chang'an falls, they will inevitably be the first to be slaughtered."

"I don't need it." He had already prepared a lot for Zhu Qing; the rest were just material possessions. Having lived two lives, he already knew what was important and what wasn't.

The two most important women in his life were Li Shi and Zhu Qing. But Li Shi was gone, leaving only Chen Sangguo.

Although she couldn't compare to Zhu Qing, her tinkling bells had at least made him cry in his past life.

He didn't want to live another life, growing old and gray, only to regret not having done many things when he was young.

Chen Zhong said nothing more and agreed to leave.

-

The night is deep and still, the moon hangs high in the sky. The autumn night is chilly, but the moon is also at its brightest.

Zhu Qing thought Feng Huaihe was too busy to come back tonight, so she went to bed early. In her half-awake state, she heard the creaking sound of the door opening.

She suddenly woke up, propped herself up and looked over. Feng Huaihe, dressed in a blue robe, walked in from the night, carrying the chill of the night dew, and sat on the edge of the bed.

He didn't turn on the lamp; with the help of the moonlight filtering into the room, he could clearly see Zhu Qing's fair cheeks and bright eyes.

He breathed on his hands to make sure they weren't cold before touching Zhu Qing's eyebrows and eyes: "Why aren't you asleep? Were you waiting for me?"

Before Zhu Qing could speak, he added, "Have you read the storybooks?"

"No."

“I haven’t seen it either,” Feng Huaihe sighed, regretfully. “I wanted to show it to you, and then I would use whatever plot you liked. That way, you wouldn’t be so resistant to me.”

As he spoke, he reached out and picked Zhu Qing up, placing her in front of the windowsill.

"Since I haven't watched it, I can only do what I like."

Feng Huaihe had her hold onto the windowsill with both hands, stood behind her, and reached out to lift her chin. When she looked up, she could see the wishing tree swaying in the moonlight and breeze in the courtyard below Xihuatang.

“I go to see this tree every day, how come I haven’t seen you make a wish?” Feng Huaihe said, kissing the back of her neck from behind.

Wishing you a peaceful and prosperous life.

Feng Huaihe pressed against her from behind and slowly pushed in.

“Don’t worry, I took my medicine before I came,” Feng Huaihe said.

Zhu Qing felt he was being a bit ruthless. Although his movements were slow, he pushed with great force, blurring the wishing tree in her vision. She asked in a hoarse voice, "What kind of medicine do you have? Also, the one you gave me to drink today seems different from the one my second brother gave me..."

“I added a ginseng,” Feng Huaihe said. “Although Uncle Zhu Yu is a skilled doctor, his family is poor and he has nowhere to get good medicinal herbs.”

He couldn't remember when he started paying attention to Zhu Qing in his previous life. In any case, as he spent more time secretly observing her and discovered that she was physically weak and had been taking medicine without improvement, he began to search for medical books to study.

From "Prescriptions for Women Worth a Thousand Pieces of Gold" to "Women's Classic," he spent many years developing a prescription that was most suitable for her. By the time he could find the necessary medicinal herbs, she had completed her apprenticeship.

Later, due to the war, he kept that prescription for a long time, but never had the chance to give it to her.

This is the first time in my life I'll have the chance to use it.

Feng Huaihe's voice was calm and slow; to the uninitiated, it would seem as if he were working.

Zhu Qing could no longer hold on and slumped weakly against the windowsill.

She felt like crying again. She felt limp and helpless in his hands. This sense of being out of control made her both expectant and afraid.

The courtyard was quiet, not even the chirping of crickets was heard. Bai Rizhu Yubo took Zhuo Yunmeng back home. They seemed to be planning to get married, but the eldest brother's family was still living in the side room.

Zhu Qing bit her lip tightly, afraid that they would hear something they shouldn't hear.

But Feng Huaihe was particularly wicked; he grabbed her slender waist, deliberately making her cry out.

Feng Huaihe wiped away her tears, pulled her to face him, and seeing her tears, his blood, which had been dormant for two lifetimes, felt boiling again.

He reached out his fingers and gently wiped away Zhu Qing's tears.

His fingers trembled as he recalled his past life, when Zhu Qing died under his eaves, and he had trembled just as he wiped away her tears and blood.

Only after Zhu Qing had stopped breathing did Feng Huaihe seem to come to his senses. He tried to cover her wound with both hands, wanting to stop the blood from flowing, but he couldn't stop it. The blood kept flowing, staining the forsythia in the courtyard red.

The scorching sun made him want to cry. Zhu Qing was willing to die for Zhang Yin, but he had to pay the price for his actions.

Feng Huaihe sometimes didn't even know whether Zhu Qing, who was willing to die, was in more pain, or whether he, who had survived, was in more pain.

Things are finally different now.

He could hold the real Zhu Qing in his arms; her body temperature, her tears, her bad temper—all of which he didn't have to imagine.

It was the only thing he possessed in his life, the only thing that sustained him to be willing to venture into this chaotic world again, the only hope he painstakingly plotted.

When the cool touch touched her eyelids, Zhu Qing sensed Feng Huaihe's abnormality. Her consciousness returned slightly, and through her blurry, tear-filled eyes, she saw that Feng Huaihe was still the same as when he returned, his blue robe in perfect order and his jade crown neatly arranged.

There wasn't even a hint of redness on her face.

She was the only one who was utterly defeated.

His clear thinking lasted only a second before it was shattered.

"Don't think I don't know what you're thinking this morning. Comparing me to Zhang Yin, tell me, who do you prefer?" he suddenly said through gritted teeth.

He then asked, "Do you want to get married?"

"..." Zhu Qing was too exhausted to pursue the matter; tears streamed down her face, and she fainted. She was unable to respond to him.

As dawn approached, Feng Huaihe carried Zhu Qing to take a bath.

Feng Huaihe wrung out Zhu Qing's hair, helped her change into thicker autumn clothes since she was unconscious the whole time, covered her with a tight quilt, and left the room.

He went to the small kitchen and warmed up Zhu Qing's medicine.

As dawn broke, Tian Jiuzhu had already woken up and was studying by lamplight, following the strategist's guide given to her by Feng Huaihe.

As Feng Huaihe passed by her window, he told her to keep an eye on the medicine on the stove before leaving.

The autumn mornings are often foggy, especially in Qingxi Village, which has a river running through it.

Feng Huaihe returned to Qingxi Village, touching the thick, hazy fog, and following his memories from when he was sixteen, he went up the mountain.

He buried his elder sister on the back mountain of Qingxi Village and never came back to visit her.

The day after tomorrow, Feng Huaihe will leave Chang'an for Jinyang, and this will be the last time he comes here.

A small grave stands in the vast valley. In the misty mountain air, weeds grow around the grave, and unknown wildflowers bloom. The wildflowers sway in the wind, unbroken, showing their tenacious vitality.

Feng Huaihe squatted by the grave, pulling out the weeds bit by bit.

He learned his elder sister's original name from Chen Zhong: Feng Yangmeng.

Feng Huaihe looked at the fluttering wildflowers and gave a faint smile. Even her name was so ethereal, nothing more than a fleeting dream.

Now, Feng Huaihe thinks that Zhu Qing is the last thing he has left.

Teachers, parents, friends—all gone.

He was determined to hold onto Zhu Qing at all costs and keep her firmly in his grasp.

Even if Feng Yangmeng deliberately raised him into the good-for-nothing and eccentric person he is today, he still believes that Zhu Qing will understand him.

She was someone who, like him, had experienced disability.

They can only belong to each other.

Even Zhang Yin wouldn't be able to take her away from him.