Chapter 48 The desire to compare oneself to others.

It was as if she had returned to the time when she first learned that Feng Huaihe had been secretly watching her in the Secretariat, and Zhu Qing was immediately terrified.

"Who are you……"

"It's exactly what you think."

Feng Huaihe readily admitted, placing his hands on either side of her body and looking down at her terrified face, "I've not only been to your and his house, I've also seen you two get married. I've seen your bridal chamber..."

Zhu Qing was pulled back to her past memories by his words.

She and Zhang Yin were initially married by contract, and their wedding was a simple affair with only a few close friends in attendance.

She also wrote to Feng Huaihe to inform him of her marriage, but he did not reply. At that time, Zhu Qing thought he would not come, and sure enough, she did not see him on the wedding day.

On their wedding night, Zhu Qing worried that some of the Prince of Jin's men might not believe her and would be secretly watching, so she arranged with Zhang Yin beforehand to have a surprise kiss.

Feng Huaihe must have seen it too.

When Zhu Qing and Zhang Yin went to the battlefield together, Feng Huaihe secretly went to visit them. Everywhere in their home, there were traces of Zhu Qing's love for Zhang Yin.

Their clothes hung side by side, pillows were placed next to each other, and desks were lined up side by side...

Every little corner of the house was filled with Zhu Qing's thoughts. On the bookshelf were clay figurines of her and Zhang Yin holding hands, clothes she made for Zhang Yin, and the letters they exchanged...

The more Feng Huaihe looked, the more breathless he felt. He was furious, enraged, and filled with hatred; he wished he could burn that place down.

Later, after Zhu Qing died, he captured Zhang Yin and finally got his wish, burning down Zhu Qing's dilapidated house in front of Zhang Yin.

The fire lasted for half a day. Feng Huaihe forced Zhang Yin to witness the fire burning and then going out, leaving the house in ruins. Zhang Yin lay on the ground weeping, his back bent.

Seeing Zhang Yin's grief, Feng Huaihe smiled.

With the dirty toe of his shoe, stained with ashes from the fire, he lifted Zhang Yin's chin and looked down at him coldly, saying, "In my chief secretary's office, there are two desks, one of mine and the other is also mine. But what gives you the right to sit next to her desk?"

Zhang Yin's face was streaked with tears, and his chin was covered in the dirt from the tips of his shoes, yet he mocked him, saying, "Look at the state you're in now."

Feng Huaihe frowned: "What?"

"Head held high, chest puffed out, a cold glance sideways, stepping on me with your foot, putting on an air of arrogance, as if you were high and mighty, but every word you uttered revealed your..."

Before he could finish speaking, Feng Huaihe kicked him away. He then walked over, grabbed Zhang Yin by the hair, and slammed him heavily to the ground, repeatedly thumping until Zhang Yin's head bled profusely. Only then did Feng Huaihe smirk:

"What is there for me to envy? Is it your noble status in Lingnan, which was stripped away by the war, or your obscure strategist status? Or perhaps it is your home, which has been reduced to ashes?"

Blood streamed down Zhang Yin's forehead, covering his entire face, yet he let out a strange laugh and shouted:

"What do I have to be jealous of? I have a wealthy family, loving parents, a trustworthy lord, and a wife who loves me, and this wife is someone you could never have even if you tried your hardest."

"Perhaps all of this is in the past, but at least I had it in the past. But you, Mr. Huaihe, have the title of the first strategist, indeed, I could never earn your fame in a lifetime, but I don't want fame, and I believe you don't want it either. You want your parents to care about you, your adoptive mother to see you, Zhu Qing to stay with you, and everything you ask for but cannot have, I have."

"So you are the most pitiful, the most insecure, and the most jealous, yet you insist on pretending to be aloof and indifferent."

'Bang—'

Feng Huaihe raised his knife and severed Zhang Yin's arm in one stroke.

Zhang Yin screamed in agony, and blood splattered on Feng Huaihe's face, making his sinister appearance even more terrifying.

Feng Huaihe was trembling all over. He raised his reddened eyes and stared at Zhang Yin, saying each word clearly, "I want you to suffer a terrible death."

"You...you look like you want to kill me?" Zhu Qing suddenly exclaimed in fear, interrupting Feng Huaihe's recollection.

Feng Huaihe's eyes flickered, and his gaze softened slightly as he looked at Zhu Qing's increasingly frightened face.

He thought of Zhang Yin and Zhu Qing's home. He never knew that people could be so close, their lives intertwined, as if they were connected as one.

He also wanted to be like Zhu Qing.

But Zhu Qing wouldn't give it to him.

They had been living in Xihuatang for many days, but she hadn't made any arrangements.

Feng Huaihe said in a deep voice, "Zhang Yin gave you too little. If you marry me, I can make a grand wedding for you."

He persisted, asking, "You've been thinking about this for many days, are you going to marry me or not?"

Zhu Qing looked away from him and refused to answer.

Seeing this, Feng Huaihe turned her face back and forced her to look at him. "Before we came here, I told you that if you need anything or want anything, just tell me and I will give it to you and help you decorate this place to your liking."

“I have been waiting for you for many days, but you have not come to find me. You have never cared about me as much as you did for Zhang Yin in my past life.”

Zhu Qing looked at him irritably. He was always comparing himself to Zhang Yin, and she was tired of it.

“In your past life, your family suffered a tragic fate, and you were heartbroken. In this life, you wanted to protect them, and I did it for you. I thought that by taking the initiative to do what you wanted, I could get what you wanted… but I didn’t.”

Zhu Qing still didn't give him a kind look or attitude. She didn't consider Xihuatang her final destination, and didn't care about it at all, unlike the meticulous arrangements she made with Zhang Yin in her previous life.

His clothes were thrown aside, and his bag contained only his own belongings.

Feng Huaihe took a deep breath, pressed on Zhu Qing's waist, and slowly pushed himself inside.

Zhu Qing frowned uncomfortably.

Despite being engaged in that kind of activity, Feng Huaihe's eyes remained clear, and he calmly said, "Didn't you want to protect nineteen-year-old Zhang Yin? You think he's innocent. Fine, marry me, and I'll spare his life."

Otherwise, he would still make sure Zhang Yin suffered a terrible death.

A blush slowly crept onto Zhu Qing's cheeks, whether from makeup or the warmth of the stove, she couldn't tell. "What...what does he have to do with me..."

She could casually mention it to warn Feng Huaihe, but if Feng Huaihe actually did it, it would have nothing to do with her.

Zhu Qing only cares about her own family.

Feng Huaihe froze upon hearing this answer.

He then became more relaxed and his movements became much gentler. He bent down to carefully stroke Zhu Qing, and seeing her expression gradually ease, he said softly, "Tomorrow I will set off with Li Keyong, and Zhang Yin will also be on this trip."

"If you have time at Xihua Hall, you can report to the Prince's residence. I've prepared a quiver of arrows for you; try them out and see if they work. If there's anything you don't like, just tell Chen Zhong."

Zhu Qing was so out of breath that she couldn't speak.

Outside the window, the snow fell softly, while inside, the temperature rose, mixed with faint, low breathing.

At the very last moment, Feng Huaihe leaned down and gently bit Zhu Qing's collarbone, murmuring "Qingqing" indistinctly...

Zhu Qing gasped for breath, unable to hear anything.

The warm stove crackled and burned, and she was sweating profusely from the heat when Feng Huaihe carried her to the couch.

Perhaps because he was leaving the next day and she didn't give him an answer about marriage, he kept asking for a long time, until dawn, before letting her go to sleep.

As usual, Feng Huaihe cleaned Zhu Qing up, lay down beside her, closed his eyes for a moment, and then got up.

He needs to prepare early before he goes on the expedition with Li Keyong today.

Moreover, Zhang Yin will also accompany him on this trip; the selection of the travelers was personally decided by Li Keyong at last night's banquet.

The snow stopped early in the morning, and Feng Huaihe prepared his strategist's baggage and headed to the Jin Prince's Palace.

A large force had already gathered outside the palace gates. The commander-in-chief had not yet arrived, but Zhang Yin was already waiting.

Zhang Yin, also carrying a strategist's bag, stood beside Zhang Chengye with a solemn expression.

Zhang Chengye glanced at Feng Huaihe not far away and whispered to Zhang Yin, "This march is your best chance to defeat Feng Huaihe. If you can defeat him, you will be the top strategist. Not only will you be able to stay in Jinyang, but your future path will also be much brighter."

After speaking, Zhang Chengye looked at Feng Huaihe with appreciation.

Zhang Yin looked on, feeling somewhat uneasy.

He had always believed in his own excellence. Born into a good family and of noble birth, he was once a talented scholar in Lingnan. But after leaving Lingnan, in the chaotic world, he found it difficult to find his place.

The once enthusiastic Zhu Qing is now closer to Feng Huaihe. Perhaps it's because she herself isn't good enough.

Looking at Feng Huaihe's tall figure and composed expression in the distance, Zhang Yin felt a surge of jealousy for the first time.

-

When Zhu Qing woke up, it was already afternoon.

It started snowing again. Listening to the soft sound of snow falling between heaven and earth, Zhu Qing saw a quiver on the table and some medicine warming in a hot pot.

The room was empty; the box containing Feng Huaihe's inkstone on the bookshelf had been taken away.

It seems that Feng Huaihe had already set off. Zhu Qing got up too late, so he quickly washed up, ate breakfast, and went to the Prince's residence to report for duty.

There's an advantage to being late, Zhu Qing comforted herself. If the heir apparent Li Cunxu had any doubts, surely he wouldn't think there would be a spy as lazy as her?

After finishing his business, Zhu found there was nothing to do, so he strolled around the courtyard of the Prince's mansion. When it was almost time, he leisurely wandered back to the Washing Flower Hall, lay down on the warm couch, and comfortably warmed himself by the fire while watching the snow.

The house was much quieter now, as Zhu Zhengyang and Zhu Yubo had gone out with Li Keyong, leaving only Zhu Qing and a few other women.

But life was still quite comfortable. Every morning, Zhu Qing would go to the Prince's Mansion to report for duty, and in the evening, he would leisurely return to the Washing Flower Hall.

Li Cunxu may not have fully trusted her yet, so he did very little for her and it wasn't important. She was just a bystander, and so some time passed. Then Zhu Qing received the battle report sent back by Feng Huaihe.

It was said that Huang Chao had been defeated and died in Shandong, and they were about to go to Kaifeng with Zhu Wen. He would try to stop Li Keyong from going to Kaifeng and instead return directly to Jinyang.

Zhu Qing had some vague worries.

Historically, some have suspected that Li Keyong's ordeal was a secret mission given to Zhu Wen by the imperial court. This is because after the incident, Li Keyong petitioned the Tang court for an explanation, but the court responded with perfunctory responses.

If the imperial court truly had a hand in this, it would have been difficult for Feng Huaihe to save Li Keyong from his dire situation.

But this matter concerns whether he can gain the trust of Li Keyong and his son, and he cannot afford to make any mistakes. If there is a third party involved, unexpected things will happen.

As Zhu Qing thought this, her worst fears came true. Some time later, she received a letter from Zhu Yubo.

The letter said that Li Keyong still went to Kaifeng. After the assassination attempt, Feng Huaihe escorted him away. It was raining heavily on the way, and it was nighttime, so it was hard to find the way. All of them got lost.

This also includes Zhu Zhengyang, who was seriously injured while protecting Li Keyong and also lost contact with them.

But Zhang Yin, who was traveling with him, was unharmed.

Zhu Qing was anxious. What if she failed and Li Cunxu used her as a hostage? Just then, a maid entered from outside and said to Zhu Qing, "Miss Zhu, His Highness the Heir Apparent requests your presence."