Chapter 61 From Heaven (1) If you're willing, let's meet again. ...

Feng Huaihe instructed Bao Fu to leave a bag of money as a token of gratitude to Mu Zao and her son before embarking on his journey.

He chose the same path he had taken with Zhu Qing in the past, the same path he had taken in his previous life to escort Zhu Qing a thousand miles to the Yellow River ferry.

At the Yellow River ferry, Feng Huaihe saw the scene Zhu Qing had described to him before. The Yellow River rushed into the distance, its endless surface shrouded in white mist, and he recalled Zhu Qing's words about freedom.

He could drag Zhu Qing back to a time and space that didn't belong to her because of his lingering regrets, so why couldn't Zhu Qing return to her original place because she wanted freedom?

A cold, damp wind blew by, making Feng Huaihe cough repeatedly. He suddenly realized that it was early winter again, and a year had passed since he last came to Jinyang with Zhu Qing.

The boat was chartered, and there were no outsiders on the deck. Bao Fu came out of the cabin and called out to Feng Huaihe's back, "It's windy, sir, go back to the cabin and rest. I've warmed up a pot of hot tea."

Feng Huaihe did not move.

Bao Fuxin sensed something was wrong, or rather, he had noticed something amiss the moment he first saw Feng Huaihe in Qingxi Village.

Feng Huaihe's once handsome face now had the paleness of a sick person. The elegant and refined scholar had suddenly become a lifeless dead tree, as if he were still emitting the rotten smell unique to dead trees.

Since Bao Fu didn't see Zhu Qing, he vaguely guessed what had happened.

Bao Fu stepped forward and sighed, "The world is vast, and there's more to life than just romantic love. Sir, you need to think more positively!"

Feng Huaihe did not answer, and turned to go into the cabin.

He took out his strategist's bag, which contained paper, pen, some medicine, and a slightly larger wooden box.

Feng Huaihe opened the wooden box, and the once-broken inkstone lay peacefully inside. He then placed the embroidered shoes left by Zhu Qing inside.

Upon arriving in Jinyang, Feng Huaihe first went to the Prince's residence to see Li Cunxu.

Li Cunxu's study was crowded with his advisors, all arguing heatedly, their chests heaving and faces flushed, making the already heated room even hotter.

As soon as Feng Huaihe entered, everything fell silent. All eyes were on him as he approached. Sensing the subtle danger emanating from his demeanor, everyone unconsciously stepped aside, making way for him.

Feng Huaihe stopped when he got close, not even bothering to bow to Li Cunxu, and simply stood there, saying, "I'm late because of something."

Everyone was stunned. In the past, Feng Huaihe was always impeccably polite, leaving no room for criticism and earning Li Cunxu's trust. Now, everything had changed.

Wang Zhao couldn't help but say, "How can you be so disrespectful to His Highness?"

Feng Huaihe didn't even lift his eyelids. "Really?"

Wang Zhao snorted coldly, and was about to say something when Feng Huaihe spoke first: "Then just kill me."

"..." Wang Zhao was startled by these words.

Li Cunxu waved his hand: "Not at all." Li Cunxu looked Feng Huaihe up and down, "But Zhijian, you've lost a lot of weight since your trip. How is it, have you finished your business?"

"Never."

Li Cunxu stroked his chin: "Zhu Qing didn't come back with you?"

"Um."

Where did she go?

Feng Huaihe felt a pang of pain in his chest. "I don't know." His voice trembled. "I searched many places, but I couldn't find her."

Wang Zhao snorted gloatingly: "I guessed this would happen when the third brother of the Zhu family came to beat you up last time. A forced melon will always slip through your fingers and break. Zhijian, this is all you deserve."

He was prepared for a vicious counterattack from Feng Huaihe, but Feng Huaihe was surprisingly quiet, standing there motionless, like a lifeless statue.

Seeing this, Li Cunxu changed the subject, saying, "You must have heard about what's happening in the court. Emperor Xizong of Tang has passed away, and his younger brother, Emperor Zhaozong of Tang, has ascended the throne. Now Zhu Wen is approaching Chang'an, and has already obtained three titles and command of the three armies, but he is still not satisfied. It seems that he intends to force the Tang emperor to step down and establish himself as emperor."

Feng Huaihe remained silent.

During this time, his soul had also departed since Zhu Qing's departure, and he had not paid attention to worldly affairs. However, he still remembered the incident in his previous life where Zhu Wen forced the Tang Emperor to abdicate.

In his previous life, Feng Huaihe was trapped in the teachings of Taoist Jingwan. Even though he knew in his heart that the Tang Dynasty could not be saved, he still remained loyal and devoted himself to the Tang court. In order to prevent Zhu Wen from succeeding, he assisted Emperor Zhaozong and Emperor Ai of Tang until he vomited blood.

He knew that the Tang Dynasty was on the verge of collapse, and he also knew that in chaotic times, a ruthless hero like Zhu Wen was indispensable. Perhaps he should have given up the struggle long ago and handed the world over to a capable person so that the chaos could be ended as soon as possible.

But Jing Wan's sense of morality trapped Feng Huaihe. He desperately tried to save the Tang Dynasty, but in the end, he watched helplessly as Emperor Zhaozong of Tang, whom he had assisted, died and Emperor Ai of Tang was killed. The Tang Dynasty, which he had devoted half his life to supporting, collapsed before his eyes.

All the hard work and effort may be wasted in the end, leaving nothing but empty effort.

Feng Huaihe vaguely realized why Zhu Qing in this life was not as aggressive and hardworking as Zhu Qing in the previous life, who desperately climbed to the top of the strategist ranks.

In her previous life, she was the foremost female strategist, but what was her fate? Just like him, it was all for naught.

Effort can become a cage, trapping him in place—this is the legendary self-inflicted wound. After all, in this world, whether it's a towering skyscraper or love and hate etched into our bones, everything will eventually dissipate and turn to dust.

So Feng Huaihe said, "If Zhu Wen wants to ascend the throne, let him." Anyway, he won't be emperor for many years, and in the end, nothing will change.

The room suddenly fell silent.

In an instant, everyone exclaimed in unison: "What?"

“The Tang Dynasty cannot be saved,” Feng Huaihe said. “Emperor Zhaozong of Tang and his son do not have the ability to revive the Tang Dynasty. When I first came to Jinyang, I said that strategists choose their masters. If the Tang Dynasty could be saved, I would stay in Chang’an to assist Emperor Xizong, instead of coming to Jinyang.”

Li Cunxu frowned, somewhat understanding the meaning behind his words.

Prince Jin's health continued to decline, and Li Cunxu, already troubled, decided not to discuss the matter further and waved his hand to dismiss the discussion.

On his way back, Feng Huaihe kept thinking about the question he had just been pondering.

If everything in the world will eventually turn to dust, then what makes this life meaningful and important?

When the carriage arrived at Xihuatang, Feng Huaihe saw the wishing tree in the center of the courtyard, which was covered with red silk ribbons, as soon as he entered.

As winter arrived, the plum trees bloomed with white flowers. The white branches and red silk were intertwined by the wind. Feng Huaihe approached and smelled the cold plum fragrance in the air, which permeated his heart and lungs.

He looked up at the fluttering red silk ribbons, which were shaped like the wind and flew freely. Feng Huaihe remembered Zhu Qing's plea: she wanted freedom.

Perhaps the only meaningful and important thing in this life is the process. If everything eventually dissipates, then keeping Zhu Qing by his side for a lifetime would not only make her journey unhappy, but also force her to bear the consequences of dissipation. Wouldn't that be a nightmare for her?

Feng Huaihe felt a sharp pain in his chest, as if his internal organs were about to explode. He suddenly realized that he had done something wrong.

What he should have helped and supported was Zhu Qing's life journey, wishing her happiness and good fortune, rather than that vague and ethereal result—the reputation of being the first strategist to leave a mark on history.

Because in the end, the first strategist can only become a word of amazement in the mouths of later generations, or a few words of praise sketched in ink.

Regardless of how future generations judge her, it has nothing to do with Zhu Qing; all she can feel is this moment.

Feng Huaihe realized this enormous mistake and felt all his strength drain away. His legs went limp, and to keep himself from falling, he leaned against a plum tree, breathing with difficulty.

No wonder Zhu Qing wanted to leave, no wonder Buddha took her away again.

It's because he doesn't know how to cherish it.

Feng Huaihe forced back the tears that were about to well up in his eyes, slowly walked into the Washing Flower Hall, and took out the wishing plaque.

He picked up a pen and wrote down his wish.

Hanging the wishing plaque on the treetop, it fluttered with the red silk. Turning it over, the side with the writing on it revealed Feng Huaihe's wish: "If you are willing, let's meet again."

In their final meeting, Feng Huaihe resolved to support her, help her, and give her freedom. He was determined to burn himself out to make Zhu Qing a success.

In his previous life, he was born during a time of chaos in the imperial court.

In this lifetime, Feng Huaihe belongs to Zhu Qing alone.