What stung more than the cold wind were Yang Sisi's words, but after the brief pain, her warmth returned from my back. Feeling her subtle femininity, I inexplicably felt a sense of returning to my youth, like a certain summer, a sweaty boy running on the basketball court, a shy girl in a white dress, holding textbooks, the hem of her skirt fluttering in the wind, and the impulse to start dating after the bell rang...

This illusion is more intoxicating than alcohol. I've even forgotten how miserable and wretched I was during my years of wandering in Shanghai. There's no Lu Jia or Wang Lei in my life, only that summer in my memory, when I was wearing a clean school uniform, sporting a fashionable side-parted hairstyle, whistling frivolously at the older and younger female students...

My heart melted, and only a sliver of consciousness remained, telling me that only the youthful and invincible Yang Sisi could give me this blissful feeling.

However, I can't like her. Just like youth that's gone forever, I've passed the age of living by feelings. I believe that if I were still in college, Yang Sisi and I would definitely be a couple that others would envy. But people really do go through different stages... And at this stage, I don't like love that's based on feelings and romance. So I prefer mature and stable women, and I'm not lying.

...

Once winter arrives in Dali, it rarely rains anymore, but at this moment, a light drizzle began to fall, gently landing on my face and waking me up. I reached for a cigarette, rubbed it for a moment, but didn't light it. I thought back to certain feelings I had before Yang Sisi arrived.

I told myself that if a woman hugged me from behind at the right moment, I would love her fiercely, because she is the woman in the world who understands my inner needs the most.

However, Yang Sisi's approach was a bit off, so I didn't take this idea to heart or make a big deal of it.

Thinking about it, this is probably a little trick that fate played on me. It stirred my heart, but didn't give me enough satisfaction, so of course I'm not prepared to bleed and sacrifice myself because of it.

...

The next moment, I pushed Yang Sisi away, smiled at her, and said, "Do you have a light? I want to smoke a cigarette."

Yang Sisi looked at me with a bit of confusion, then wiped away her tears and said to me, "You just smoked a cigarette, you had your own lighter, why did you ask me for it?"

"Then I won't smoke."

"Just say what you want to say, don't beat around the bush with me."

Looking at the inn, I suddenly felt a lump in my throat, and I felt like crying... because since coming to Dali, I haven't gained anything, but I've been losing things little by little. And what I've lost includes my friends, my career, and the girl I like.

Honestly, I hate myself for being so incompetent, yet there are so many people and things I want to protect.

I finally smiled and said to Yang Sisi, "You should go back now. If you stay any longer, it will be harder to get a taxi here."

"Can I just go straight back to Shanghai?"

I looked at Yang Sisi with some surprise, speechless for a moment.

Yang Sisi pressed on, asking, "Is it good?"

"You don't need to ask for my opinion. If you want to go back, who can stop you?"

Yang Sisi laughed and replied, "I want to be innocent for a while longer, and remember what my best self looks like. When I really want to leave... I won't be the Yang Sisi I am now, because after experiencing some things, people always have to grow up..." She paused slightly, then continued, "However, I won't become a woman like Ye Zhi... because some things in one's bones can't be changed, and Yang Sisi will never consider Ye Zhi as someone to pursue, because she's not better than me... If you all use the ability to make money as the standard to measure whether someone is good enough, then just pretend I didn't say this... In this respect, I admit I will never be as good as her."

After a moment of silence, I said, "Yes... in some people's eyes, you are the most outstanding, because everyone's preferences are never exactly the same."

Yang Sisi looked at me with a half-smile, then asked, "So, you just like women who can make money?"

I fell silent again: "...Actually, being a gigolo and being supported by women is a skill in itself... But I don't have that skill... You know, ever since I came to Dali, I've been trying to find ways to make money."

"Are you explaining all this because you're afraid I'll look down on you?"

I glanced at Yang Sisi and replied very seriously, "You can misunderstand me, but there are some matters of principle that you cannot misunderstand."

"Don't worry... I won't misunderstand you... In my heart, you're a very capable man, just a little unlucky... But as long as you're alive, your luck will eventually turn around. Just keep going, and things will get better."

"Your words warm my heart."

Yang Sisi smiled and replied, "I just wanted to leave you in a good mood before I left, so that when I'm really not in Dali anymore, all you'll think about are the things that made you unhappy."

I smiled back at her without saying anything, then took off my jacket and put it over her head. It was raining quite heavily, and I was worried she would catch a cold.

A short while later, the car Yang Sisi had called arrived, but when she got in, she refused to return the jacket to me. She said that the jacket was not only warm, but also looked quite handsome on her, so she wanted to keep it as a souvenir, in case it got cold abroad someday.

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