"You don't need to worry about this. I have plenty of friends here. It'll be so lively then."

"Don't any of your friends go home for the Chinese New Year?"

I was stunned, then laughed and said, "We're all friends who run inns. We rely on making money during the Chinese New Year all year round. If we want to go home, we'll definitely have to wait until after the New Year."

"oh."

Old Mi and I remained silent until I finally broke the silence. I said, "Dad, after I hang up the phone, I'll transfer 1,000 yuan to your WeChat account. Use it to buy yourself and Mom some decent clothes. Don't keep wearing old clothes... I've seen you wearing that black down jacket for years."

“You earn money with difficulty, keep it for yourself.” After a slight pause, he added, “If you can bring Xiao Ye back with you after the New Year, that would make us the happiest!”

"Her?...Hehe, she's always traveling between China and abroad, I don't know if she can find the time, I'll try my best."

"That girl is great. She's down-to-earth and even got your cousin such a good job... I'm not saying you have to fawn over her, but I hope you cherish her more... Do you understand what I mean?"

"I understand, I definitely understand!"

"Okay, you go ahead with your work, I won't say any more... Oh, by the way, when you receive the smoked meat and sausages, remember to let me know, I'm afraid the package might get lost."

"knew."

...

After Lao Mi hung up the phone, I opened WeChat. I only had 1,000 yuan left in my account... I swiped the screen a few times, and finally transferred the money to him...

I suddenly feel very homesick... really homesick.

I want to accompany Lao Mi to the mountains to herd sheep, and accompany my mother to the market to haggle over prices... Then the whole family can reunite and spend the New Year together.

But I can't tell them any of this.

I was exhausted, and I lay down by the fountain like I was dead...

I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want to sleep for a while.

I couldn't sleep, so I thought of Lu Jia again, and of all the promises I made to her... Tears finally welled up in my eyes... It wasn't that I felt I had let her down, but that I felt so tired and powerless... Not only could I not hold onto love, but I also owed my family too much.

Yes, when I was most hurt, the first woman I thought of was Lu Jia... because she was the first woman I ever wanted to marry... or rather, she was the first woman I ever truly loved.

Perhaps she's doing well now and has a new boyfriend... So, will she still remember me, the man she made love to and dreamed about the future with?

My heart ached terribly... then I curled up and started tearing at my clothes...

I'm really being killed by this internal injury!