The message Yang Sisi sent was like a breeze, stirring a chord in my heart. It reminded me of some of her past selves—cute, mischievous, and sometimes annoying because of her playful and active nature.

Undeniably, she is a good girl with flesh and blood, just like the junior schoolgirl in the schoolyard wearing a white shirt, holding textbooks, waiting for the wind to come on the playground.

But for me, it's just a sentiment. Now, I've lost those carefree and bright days... In my world now, the textbooks that gave me knowledge have yellowed and even covered in dust. I simply can't lift them anymore, just like my youth and passion that can never be retrieved.

If I were to use my own experiences as a mirror, the only women I would like now are those with a deep understanding of society… Clearly, Yang Sisi is not one of them. She is just a budding flower, and there will naturally be people who like her. The difference between us is like a distorted and disconnected space-time. I was born in the late 80s, and she was born in the mid-90s… So on the first day we met, she immediately called me "uncle," and although she never called me that again, it didn't change the impression we left on each other when we first met.

After stopping these thoughts, I picked up the glass on my bedside table, took a sip of the water, and then replied to Yang Sisi's message: "I also wish I had a time machine so I could make up for all the popsicles I didn't get to eat when I was a kid, and listen to the teachers explain the lessons I didn't pay attention to again."

"It seems you're not someone without any regrets after all..."

"Everyone has regrets. Some people choose to keep their regrets to themselves; but others always treat regrets as a part of life, constantly bringing them up to torment themselves, ultimately hurting themselves and others."

"The other people you mentioned are referring to me, right?"

"There was no hidden meaning... it clearly points to you."

Yang Sisi didn't reply, probably because I hurt her a little.

I sent another message, changing the subject, and asked, "Where are you now?"

"That's none of your business."

"Everyone's life has a track. As someone who's been there, I want to remind you not to stray too far... Humans are inherently creatures that are particularly prone to getting lost, so you should take good care of your life."

"Nobody wants to listen to your motivational platitudes... If you're so capable, set an example for me. If you can live a good life, then it proves I'm wrong. If you end up worse off than me, don't you think all the things you're saying to me are ridiculous?"

"I'm doing pretty well now."

"Of course, it's good to show off your love on social media now and then... But that doesn't mean it will last. If you were really a man who could do everything well, would you have moved from Shanghai to Dali? Shanghai is such a big city, how could it not accommodate you?"

"Wow, that's pretty impressive... You've even learned to reopen old wounds!"

There's no need to be polite to heartless people.

"Any more vicious words? Throw them all at me."

"There's a whole bunch more, but I don't want to talk about it now... I'll leave it here for now and we'll see how it goes later."

"You scared my legs so much they went weak."

"Heh... What a cowardly brat who only knows how to show off!"

Why don't you say you're like a wronged little wife?

"Not at all. I'm doing so well now. I eat well, live well, and sleep well. Who would want to be angry with you..."

"I'm relieved to hear you say that... I hope you can maintain your current good condition."

"You should worry more about yourself... Even if I have nothing left, I still have a lot of things my parents have prepared for me... Sometimes I'm just willful and afraid of nothing because I know my parents won't abandon me... But what about you? One wrong step and the whole world will abandon you... You're the truly pitiful one!"

If everything I just said had an element of joking, then this last sentence was so real it chilled me to the bone.

I hadn't planned to smoke that night, but I took out a cigarette from the pack and lit it. In the dispersing smoke, I saw myself walking on thin ice... and then I felt extremely lonely.

Yang Sisi is right... Even though I want to treat everyone around me with sincerity, I still feel isolated most of the time... I need to have a pair of arms that are stronger than others to support my life... But even the strongest arms are not the same as machines; they will eventually get tired.

After finishing my cigarette, I didn't reply to Yang Sisi's message, and I didn't plan to reply again... I put on a thick t-shirt, then burrowed into the blanket and made it into a tight, airtight little square... like a shaft that had lost its lubrication, waiting for lubricant, standing straight as a board.

...

I was awake at times and drowsy at others, and that's how I spent the night. When the alarm clock rang at 6:30, I actually wanted to sleep for a few more hours. The sleep I got that night was just not enough for me.

Unfortunately, I had to travel over a thousand kilometers today, so I had to force myself to get out of bed and make myself a cup of instant coffee.

While having breakfast, I sent Ye Zhi a message asking if she was up yet. Ye Zhi replied quickly, saying she was washing up and it would take about an hour. We agreed to leave promptly at eight o'clock.

My dear reader, there's more to this chapter! Please click the next page to continue reading—even more exciting content awaits!