A gust of wind blew by, ruffling Yang Sisi's long hair, which then fell onto my shoulder. She was already somewhat dazed, and her breath was hot, right next to my ear... My heart was also burning; I wanted to have a closer touch with her, but I didn't know what that would mean.

Having an affair?

Is it promiscuity?

Every word I can think of is so jarring and so morally reprehensible.

I know I shouldn't have given her that box of condoms; she'll definitely take it as a hint, which is, in fact, quite obvious.

...

A moment later, the wind gradually stopped, and the sound of the windmill ceased. I could almost hear my own heartbeat, each beat powerful and exhilarating, so much so that I had to exert great effort to control myself and prevent myself from acting recklessly.

"Michael...you gave me condoms, do you want me?"

I dodged the overwhelming scent of intoxication; she was drunk…

"This is a vast, desolate place, just the two of us... Tell me, besides me, no one will know how filthy your thoughts are... And I won't tell anyone either... because..."

Yang Sisi looked at me and smiled, but she seemed particularly dazed.

It felt like something was slowly chipping away at my defenses. I knew that once I unbuttoned the first button, everything would be within my grasp. This thought was terrifying because once my mind was dominated by desire, Yang Sisi's advantageous characteristics as a woman began to emerge... She was truly beautiful. This beauty wasn't something artificially enhanced; it was the elegance nurtured by living in a privileged environment for so long... Her attire, her speech, her appearance—everything was impeccable.

Otherwise, how could Cao Xiaobei and Yu Tou, both rich second-generation heirs, fall in love at first sight? Cao Xiaobei and Yu Tou aren't stupid; they can discern a woman's true character better than anyone else. Some women may be beautiful, even more stylish than Yang Sisi, but their inner qualities are particularly rotten. Rich second-generation heirs like them can have casual flings, but marriage is out of the question. They understand very well that only by marrying a woman like Yang Sisi can they truly be considered winners in life.

...

I let out a heavy sigh and finally spoke to Yang Sisi, "Don't be like this... I'm a normal man, and I really do make mistakes."

"I know you want to make a mistake... and I do too...!"

Yang Sisi looked at me, her eyes even more unfocused than before...

Just when my defenses were about to completely collapse, she whispered in my ear again, "But I got my period today... If you dare, then go ahead and have it tomorrow, the day after that."

I was a little confused, but Yang Sisi lay on the ground and burst into laughter...

I don't know what she was feeling... but I suddenly felt deflated, and then inexplicably relieved... I scooped up a handful of cool water from the stream and poured it on my head and face, and I became more sober.

I turned to look at Yang Sisi, who was looking at me with a very satisfied expression. Then she whispered to me, "Although there's nothing we can do... I'm so happy... because I see a different version of myself in you... You like me... don't you?"

"Sisi... let's not talk about this... really, let's not talk about it... today is my birthday, let's keep it simple..."

"I want things to be simpler than anyone else... But who can guarantee that I won't be there for your next birthday... Maybe you haven't counted it down, but I'm counting down every day... Lu Jia will be back soon!"

"So, I've been proven right today?"

"Yes, it's been proven! ...Actually, for you, me, Lu Jia, or Ye Zhi... are just choices in life... You must be struggling with this... The woman you love most is undoubtedly Ye Zhi, but she's even more conflicted than you, and her burdens are heavier. You can't afford to love her... Lu Jia is a very realistic woman. She can manage your life perfectly, but your vision and your perspective on life are no longer what they were three years ago. You now have the ability to pursue more ideal things, so you'll gradually look down on her and feel that you're not from the same world as her..."

I looked at Yang Sisi, waiting for her to continue. I wanted to hear how she would evaluate herself.

After a brief silence, Yang Sisi continued, "In your heart, I am the purest one... so you like me, but you dare not have any more outrageous thoughts. You are afraid of shattering my purity with your own hands, so you would rather leave me alone, rather hurt me, than give me up again and again. You are afraid that I will become the next Lu Jia or Ye Zhi... because you have experienced too much frustration with them... You are too smart, so before anything even begins, you already have many possible outcomes in your mind... and I am the sacrifice you make in your weighing of options... But it's okay, I can wait, wait until you have a sudden realization... But can you wait?"

I sat cross-legged on the stone slab and reread Yang Sisi's words. She was analyzing me, not just randomly analyzing me, because she had been involved in my changes since I left Shanghai, so she was the most qualified to speak about my past three years.

But I didn't answer her in the end, because I hadn't yet come to a conclusion that I could prove.

...

That night, neither Yang Sisi nor I went home; I vaguely remember that she had fallen asleep before me, and I put my coat on her... Then I sat next to her for a while and fell asleep myself.

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