I looked at Nicole with some surprise. I felt that her words were a very harsh accusation against me, because I hadn't thought about it in this way before talking to Cao Xue about it. I was just too eager to launch the "One-Click Travel" project.

After a moment of contemplation, I finally spoke to Nicole, saying, "Aren't you being a bit too harsh? ... I consider Chen Jin a brother and Cao Xue one of my own. How could I possibly have the heart to betray them?"

"Am I wrong?... If Chen Jin is capable of running a bar on his own, what use would you be to this bar!"

“Nicole, over the years, which of my friends haven’t I treated with my whole heart?… Chen Jin isn’t a child, I, Michael, can’t support him for the rest of his life; Cao Xue can’t live off the money he earned at Jiulongju forever, so what’s wrong with me finding him a reliable investment project?”

After a brief pause, I said in a low voice, "For so many years, I've either lived in someone else's world or in my own, desperately trying to drag others along... I'm so tired... So, I want to live completely for myself for once; but I don't understand, why does this become an unforgivable decision in your eyes?... Is it because I, Michael, have always thought of others, and only occasionally think of myself, that you think I'm a bastard; those who have always been selfish, suddenly doing a good deed, you think they've turned over a new leaf, that they've become enlightened... Hah, is this really the price and cost of being a good person?... If you say yes, then I truly despair of this world!"

“I…I didn’t mean that…Don’t misunderstand, Michael…I just think that as long as you put your heart into this bar, the bar’s prospects will definitely be good, and you won’t make less money. Why take such a big risk to do other projects?”

I threw down my crutches and yelled at Nicole, “I didn’t misunderstand, it’s just that you all think too highly of me… So, whenever something happens, I, Michael, am always the first one to rush in, followed by a bunch of overgrown children who only know how to cheer and shout. If I can’t take a bullet for them, they’ll jump out and say I’m selfish, that I don’t care about their lives… But Nicole, can’t you see? There’s nowhere left on my body to bleed… If I don’t give myself another breath, I’ll have to die… I’m not lying to you, I’m really suffocating right now, really depressed, I have to find a way out… I want to live with dignity!”

Nicole remained silent.

I held my head in my hands, feeling that only by closing my eyes could I feel safe in this world.

I didn't have to do this, but Lu Jia has taken over my house, and my friends not only can't help, they've become obstacles in my path. How can I not be exhausted? ...After what seemed like an eternity, Nicole finally spoke to me, saying, "Michael, I understand your difficulties... but you should really reconsider the transfer of the bar shares."

"No, we can't transfer these shares to Cao Xue... because he and Chen Jin absolutely can't get along... Tell me, if even the two largest shareholders can't get along, how can the bar possibly have a long-term future?"

After a brief pause, Nicole continued, "Cao Xue has no mother. His father took the blame for Cao Jinbo and hasn't been released yet... He himself makes a living by pleasing Cao Jinbo, and it's really not easy for him to earn this little bit of money... Just pity him and don't send him into this mess... Chen Jin is also someone without any family background. If this bar fails, he might never be able to recover in his life... I'm begging you, please focus on running this bar well first, and then think about doing other things."

I looked up at Nicole, and my heart softened again. I sniffed and finally said to her, "I just wanted to vent, to vent... Let's not talk about this again, let's just leave it at that!"

"Hmm... If you really want to do this project, you can try talking to Ye Zhi; regardless of whether the project succeeds in the end, this amount of money won't be a big deal for her."

"I'd rather not do this project than go looking for her... Enough said, I'm going to a bar, let's each do our own thing."

...

Leaning on my cane, I walked uphill along the streets of the ancient city. Under the hazy lights, I seemed to have lost my way a little... I was in a daze for a while before I realized that I was on the upper section of Renmin Road, having already passed the intersection leading to the bar.

I couldn't walk anymore, so I sat down on a bench by the street and lit a cigarette.

Facing the throngs of people, I completely let go of my inhibitions...

I don't want to be like this, but I really can't bring myself to think about those upsetting things because no one understands me and no one can help me. I feel so helpless, and it seems like no matter what I do, it's wrong.

Gradually, I felt a sense of despair, as if I had nowhere to turn. My mentality began to collapse, and in a fit of rage, I sent Lu Jia a message: "I don't care what you think... I'm now in a dead end... If you have any conscience at all, please give me back the house in Dali."

I waited anxiously. I didn't even need her to repent; I just hoped she would say "okay" and return the property rights to me.

However, I didn't get the result I wanted. Lu Jia seemed to enjoy my despair, so she didn't reply to my messages for a long time.

...

I slapped my forehead hard, then looked down at my sneakers that were coming unglued... I hoped my leg would heal immediately, but that was an impossible wish.

Finally, my phone vibrated in my hand.

I quickly opened WeChat, but it wasn't Lu Jia who replied; instead, it was a picture message sent to me by Yang Sisi.

The painting in the picture was probably done by her. It depicts a family of three leaning on a railing, looking at the night view of the Bund.

I thought again

You… so I painted this picture… that fat man is you, the short-haired beauty is me, and the one standing in the middle is the child I gave birth to for you; he can't reach you… You're so selfish, you don't even think to hold him… He's so small, if you don't hold him, what can he see?…

Following this text message, Yang Sisi sent another picture, which continued the content of the previous painting.

In the painting, she is holding that tiny baby, radiating maternal love, while I have been turned into a pig's trotter.

Before she could send any more text, I was already amused by this prank!

(End of this chapter)

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