I sat down on the roadside, feeling utterly dejected, and stared blankly at the duty-free shop's door, which only allowed exits but not entry, until the lights inside went out one by one and no one came out anymore... I lay down heavily on the grass, the ground still warm, the stars twinkling in the sky, it seemed quite peaceful, but the sound of motorcycle engines told a story of the night's restlessness... Phuket is also a place of dazzling lights and bustling activity, a gathering place for people from all over the world, some come here for vacation, some come here to seek refuge, and I was the most lost one.

I can't express how I feel right now. Ye Zhi's image is in my mind. We might meet tomorrow. Am I really going to meet her empty-handed?

...

A faint fragrance wafted by on the breeze. An'an sat down beside me. She first tucked in the hem of her skirt, then looked up at the sky... After a long while, she whispered to me, "If you really can't buy it in Thailand, just buy it in Shanghai... Shanghai is such a big city, you won't be able to not find the style you want."

“I know, but it feels like a regret to go back and buy it... I’m thinking of canceling my ticket and then going to Bangkok for a trip... It’s not too late to get to Shanghai the day after tomorrow.”

"You're truly honest and don't lie at all!"

I glanced at An'an and then fell silent. I took a cigarette from the pack, but just put it in my mouth without lighting it.

After this continued for a while, An'an whispered to me again, "I don't know what you're really thinking, but I'm really disgusted with myself. I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to relationships, so after I told you all this, I won't be with Cao Jinbo anymore. Otherwise, it won't just be disgust, I'll feel nauseous with myself... You probably really don't know how much courage it took for me to express my feelings to you..."

“I know your life will be completely changed because of this... which also means that you have lost your long-standing support.”

"...Can you give me a glimmer of hope?"

Just as I was about to speak, An'an said to me again, "Don't rush to give me an answer. Let's imagine what it would be like if the two of us lived together."

"I definitely can't stay in Dali anymore."

"Besides Dali, which other cities in China do you like?"

"It's not about whether I like it or not, it's that I have to go to Shanghai... because later, I will be working on a project with Sisi's dad."

“I can go to Shanghai with you… During this time, I’ve been learning to make desserts. I can find a shop and open a dessert shop… In the rest of the time, I’ll take care of the house so that you can come home every day with fresh food and clean clothes.”

"That sounds good."

"We can work together to earn money and buy a house."

"No need, as long as it's not a house in a prime location, I can afford it all by myself... Speaking of which, I feel that I've gained something from these past few years away from Shanghai, at least..."

"To be able to go back to Shanghai and live a respectable life."

"So, at the most suitable time, I met the best you."

"It's hard to say in terms of the spiritual aspect, but it certainly is in terms of the material aspect."

After a moment of silence, An'an said softly, "I know you've suffered a lot of mental anguish over the years, and I regret not being able to share your burdens... But I will make it up to you slowly in the future... I know what a man like you needs most."

I lit the cigarette that I'd been holding in my mouth, then smiled and asked An'an, "What do I need most?"

"Peace and stability."

When she said those two words, I felt a distinct jolt in my heart. I was fed up with this turbulent life. In my memory, ever since I left university, I had been living a nomadic life.

"Michael, do you like children?"

"Um."

"I like it too... I've always dreamed of having a son and a daughter; that would be a perfect life!"

I turned to look at her, and the longing in her eyes was so sincere... At that moment, she did give me a just-right feeling, but behind this seemingly perfect situation, I always felt that something was missing.

I know she is a woman with a good personality, capable of managing both the home and the outside world. However, she is ultimately just a shadow of Wang Lei living in my heart... Therefore, I know why I was momentarily moved.

Perhaps our life together would be perfect, but now is not the time; so, finally, I met her expectant gaze and said, "I'm sorry, there's no room for anyone else in my heart."

"Aren't you going to get married in the future?"

"I'll find a materialistic woman, so I won't feel like I owe her anything... She won't care who I loved in the past or who I love now."

An'an was lost in thought, hugging her knees tightly... I don't know what she was thinking, but her expression told me that she felt very insecure at that moment.

After a long time, she finally spoke to me, saying, "Michael, have you thought about what kind of life I'll lead in the future?... If you haven't, then let me tell you... I will definitely leave Dali and start over in a strange city... All the connections I built up in Dali will be wasted... I will have to start working hard to make a living because I have no one to rely on anymore, and I will live a very lonely life... even more lonely than when I was in Dali... because in Dali, you taught me how to connect with the world and how to live... But in a new city, I can only start from scratch!"

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