Chapter 17 Opposite Seasons

The door closed gently behind him, and the silence of the corridor instantly enveloped Ji Rendong.

Unlike the warm atmosphere that had filled the room earlier, a mixture of alcohol and the sweet scent of a young girl, this made Ji Rendong a little more sober.

She leaned against the door, took a deep breath, and tried to calm her heart, which was still beating erratically in her chest.

Unconsciously, her fingertips touched her lips, where the soft, intoxicating touch of when she touched Shi Banxia's lips still lingered.

The first kiss on the forehead can be interpreted as a comforting gesture, the greatest tenderness that can be given while suppressing intoxication and under the restraint of reason.

But that second kiss—that inexplicable, almost instinctive kiss that landed on Shi Banxia's lips—completely shattered Ji Rendong's carefully maintained composure and restraint.

"Too impulsive..."

Ji Rendong closed her eyes and could still clearly recall Shi Banxia's misty, watery eyes. She felt her cheeks burning again.

"out of control".

Ji Rendong pondered these two words repeatedly in her mind. This was precisely the state she had always tried so hard to avoid.

Rationality, composure, and maintaining distance are the principles of survival in the polar regions, and also the methods she uses to protect herself.

— An excuse to protect my not-so-resilient heart.

Ji Rendong recalled the night she photographed the golden aurora. Shi Banxia leaned down, smiling, and asked her with her eyes crinkling:

"Sister Rendong, you're clearly a very gentle person, so don't always do things so calmly and indifferently, so cold~"

Because "Pinellia" is too dazzling, one might lose control if one is not calm.

When she kissed Shi Banxia, ​​she finally dared to confirm the answer—what she revealed in her heart was a true feeling that even she herself had not fully understood.

Ji Rendong thought of herself as a frozen lake, capable of withstanding any intense heat.

But Shi Banxia was like a bird that fell into the heart of the lake, not only stirring up ripples, but also triggering undercurrents beneath the ice that she herself had not anticipated.

That night, Ji Rendong tossed and turned. The next morning, with faint dark circles under her eyes, she appeared in the cafeteria, more silent than usual.

Shi Banxia was already sitting down in their usual spot, sipping her porridge. Her eyes were a little unfocused, but when she saw Ji Rendong, her eyes lit up instantly, and she quickly lowered her head, her ears turning red.

"Good morning, Sister Rendong," Shi Banxia said softly, her voice filled with obvious shyness and unease.

Ji Rendong felt a slight tap on her heart. She tried to keep her voice steady. "Good morning. Does your head still hurt?" She sat down opposite Shi Banxia and noticed that the girl's cheeks were slightly flushed.

"It's alright..." Shi Banxia stirred the porridge in her bowl with a spoon, not daring to look up. "Last night... thank you for taking care of me, Sister Rendong... did I... talk a lot of nonsense?"

Ji Rendong's hand paused slightly.

Nonsense?

Did she think that her deepest anxieties and affections were just drunken ramblings?

A strange sense of loss quietly spread, but Ji Rendong felt more relieved.

Perhaps, this is for the best.

Defining all of last night's impulsive actions as "accidents" is the best excuse to maintain the status quo.

"Yes, I did say quite a bit." Ji Rendong lowered her eyes, concealing the complex emotions within them, and deliberately kept her tone calm. "Don't drink so much in the future."

Shi Banxia quietly raised her eyes and saw that Ji Rendong's expression was normal, as if he was not affected at all by the presumptuous kiss last night. Her heart felt like it had been turned upside down.

On the one hand, she was glad that Sister Rendong hadn't distanced herself from her because of this, but on the other hand, she couldn't help but feel disappointed—did that kiss really mean nothing to Sister Rendong?

Is the phrase "I won't forget" just a consolation to a drunkard?

"I understand..." Shi Banxia replied in a muffled voice, with no appetite at all.

For the next day or two, the two of them found themselves in an awkward and delicate atmosphere.

At work, Ji Rendong remained professional and calm, but when she was with Shi Banxia, ​​she tried to avoid eye contact with her.

Shi Banxia became exceptionally obedient, doing whatever she was asked to do, but the natural intimacy and dependence she once showed became cautious and hesitant.

That afternoon, Shi Banxia finished her filming assignment and walked alone through the public rest area, her gaze falling on the message board.

The message board is covered with various notices, weather forecasts, and team members' notes.

Shi Banxia recalled the novelty of her first arrival, and also the secret flutter in her heart. A thought surged into her mind. She picked up a pen and wrote down the words that had been hidden in her heart for so long in the blank space:

When does summer come in the Arctic?

This is not only a geographical question, but also a metaphor for her inner thoughts—when will the fiery response she hopes for, like the brief summer in the Arctic, become clear?

After finishing writing, Shi Banxia quickly left.

She only wanted to know the answer to this question from one person.

After a while, Ji Rendong also passed by the message board. She originally wanted to check the latest weather forecast, but her eyes were precisely drawn to that familiar handwriting, and she couldn't help but feel a stirring in her heart.

Ji Rendong was somewhat afraid of this fluttering feeling.

She was used to planning, used to weighing the pros and cons, and used to being stuck in the past when it came to relationships.

Reason told her she should stay calm, she should. Keep her distance, let everything remain in that ambiguous, undefined stage, and wait for Banxia to leave; time would heal all wounds. But a faint voice inside her kept protesting…

Ji Rendong gently traced the line of text with his finger, then, without hesitation, picked up his pen and firmly added a sentence below:

"While you are here."

After finishing writing, she examined the two lines for a moment, a ripple of emotion appearing in her usually cool eyes, before turning away to continue her work.

Night falls.

Shi Banxia stayed up late because she was editing photos. Hungry, she sneaked into the kitchen and remembered the chocolate that the stationmaster had confiscated when she broke the stationmaster's cup while playing with Latte. She felt a little itchy.

Shi Banxia grabbed a packet of instant noodles and passed by the message board again, where she saw the reply.

Shi Banxia was stunned at first, then she was overwhelmed by a huge sense of happiness. She immediately picked up her phone, took a picture of the two lines of text, and couldn't help but smile.

"Sister Rendong, this will make me even more reluctant to part with you..." Shi Banxia touched her burning face, feeling as if pink bubbles were floating around her.

Ji Rendong happened to come out of the office area and saw Shi Banxia taking pictures at a corner.

Seeing the girl's surprised and delighted expression, she couldn't help but smile.

Ji Rendong didn't go over immediately. She watched Shi Banxia's fingertips gently slide across the screen, revealing a warm smile, which made the flutter that Ji Rendong had been suppressing resurface.

Ji Rendong made some footsteps, her tone tinged with a helpless smile, "It's so late, aren't you going to rest?"

Shi Banxia was startled by the sudden voice. She turned around abruptly and saw that it was Ji Rendong. Her face turned even redder, and she hurriedly hid her phone behind her back, stammering, "Sister Rendong? I'm hungry, I came to find something to eat..."

Ji Rendong's gaze fell on the instant noodles in her hand, and she frowned slightly, "You're just going to eat this? It's not good for your health."

"It's okay, it'll do..." Shi Banxia said softly, a bittersweet feeling welling up inside her, but she couldn't help but smile.

Ji Rendong took in Shi Banxia's reaction. On one hand, she was secretly moved by Shi Banxia's joy, but on the other hand, she was worried that such a response might be too impulsive and might make the girl who was about to leave fall deeper into the relationship, making the future separation even more difficult.

"Instant noodles have no nutritional value." Ji Rendong's voice remained calm, but she had already reached out and naturally taken the instant noodles. "I'll cook them for you."

After saying that, before Shi Banxia could react, she walked towards the communal kitchen.

Ji Rendong smiled bitterly to herself. See, when it comes to Shi Banxia, ​​her composure and restraint are almost impossible to break.

Shi Banxia stood there, stunned, the bittersweet feeling in her heart growing stronger. That's just how Sister Rendong is; she always appears cold on the surface, but her actions always reveal a gentleness that's hard to detect.

How could I bear to let go of such tenderness?

Ji Rendong skillfully boiled water, put the flatbread and seasonings into the pot, along with a few green vegetables and the stationmaster's secret stash of fresh shrimp.

Shi Banxia leaned against the kitchen counter, quietly watching Ji Rendong's methodical movements.

Under the light, Ji Rendong tied her long hair up, revealing a clear and beautiful profile. Her lowered eyes concealed her usual aloofness, adding a touch of domestic gentleness.

This scene was so beautiful that Banxia almost had the illusion that they could go on like this forever, having countless ordinary nights like this at the ends of the earth.

But the reality is that it is already the sixth week that Shi Banxia has been in the Arctic, and she will soon be leaving. Time, like the Arctic summer, flies by in the blink of an eye.

This newly confirmed feeling, before it could even be fully appreciated, was already overshadowed by the shadow of separation.

Thinking of this, Shi Banxia felt a pang in her heart, and a sour feeling welled up inside her.

"Sister Rendong..." Shi Banxia couldn't help but call out softly, her voice choked with emotion.

"Mm." Ji Rendong didn't turn around, but simply responded softly.

“Um…the message board…” Shi Banxia mustered her courage, wanting to ask for clarification, but she didn’t know how to phrase it. She was afraid of breaking the current warmth.

Ji Rendong paused slightly; she knew, of course, what Shi Banxia wanted to ask.

What should she say?

Admit it? Admit that it was an answer written specifically for Shi Banxia? That would be tantamount to tearing away one's last line of defense.

Can I deny it? Looking at the cautiousness and expectation in Shi Banxia's eyes, she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"I saw it." Ji Rendong placed the cooked instant noodles on the table in front of Shi Banxia. They were steaming hot and smelled delicious. "Eat them while they're hot."

This answer was ambiguous, neither confirming nor denying the special meaning of the statement.

The light in Shi Banxia's eyes dimmed a little, but the aroma and warmth emanating from the bowl, as well as Ji Rendong's heartfelt intention in cooking for her, still warmed her heart.

Shi Banxia picked up her chopsticks, whispered "Thank you, Sister Rendong," and then began to eat in small bites.

Ji Rendong sat opposite Shi Banxia, ​​silently watching her eat. Two voices were fiercely battling within him.

A voice is saying, "Ji Rendong, you were clearly moved too, so why did you push her away?"

Another voice warns that your worlds are too far apart, and after a brief intersection comes a long separation. It's not too late to put on the brakes now.

The noodles were delicious, but Shi Banxia ate them absentmindedly.

She could feel Ji Rendong's complex gaze; in that gaze, there was a familiar tenderness, but also a hesitation that she couldn't understand.

Shi Banxia really wanted to tell Sister Rendong that she was not afraid of distance or time; she was only afraid of her avoidance and retreat.

However, Shi Banxia dared not, fearing that if she asked too directly, she would lose even the chance to get closer so cautiously.

Shi Banxia quickly finished her noodles. She looked up, met Ji Rendong's deep eyes, and forced a smile. "I'm done eating. It was delicious... Thank you, Sister Rendong..."

“Hmm,” Ji Rendong stood up and cleared away the dishes, “It’s getting late, go and get some rest.”

"I'll help you wash..." Shi Banxia quickly stood up.

"No need, I'll take care of it. Go and rest."

Ji Rendong gently pressed Shi Banxia's hand, her tone so gentle that Shi Banxia felt her eyes sting again.

Is it indulgent gentleness, or deliberately drawing this invisible line?

Shi Banxia gently withdrew her hand. "Okay... then... goodnight, Sister Rendong."

"Okay, goodnight."

Shi Banxia returned to her room, lay down on the bed, and opened the photo on the message board on her phone again.

Her fingertips gently traced the words "When you are here," a sweet smile curving her lips, but her eyes involuntarily welled up with tears.

"Sister Rendong, you like me too, right?" Shi Banxia murmured to herself as she looked at the screen.

"But why can't we all be a little braver..."

A note from the author:

You two cowards! If you like someone, just say it!

It hurts so much to write this, even though I wrote it myself. But as a loving mother, I can't bear to see Dongdong and Xiaxia suffer so much... (closes eyes)

The recent click data is great! Thank you everyone for your love for Xiaxia and Dongdong.