Chapter 19 Forget-Me-Not

After the snowstorm, life at the research station seemed to have been put on fast-forward. Only two days remained before Shi Banxia left.

The kiss and promise made at the supply station turned what followed into a slow and gentle torture.

They still went in and out together, but there were many more unspoken moments between them.

When handing over photos, their fingertips would linger for half a second longer; during meals, Ji Rendong would naturally pick out the carrot that Shi Banxia liked from his plate and give it to her; at night, when organizing documents in the common area, their shoulders would gently lean together.

The two talked about the most ordinary jobs, as if their surging emotions had never been spoken aloud.

Every brief contact felt like a thin thread tied to my heart, the other end of which was connected to a countdown clock, each swing bringing a sweet pain.

They greedily collected these fragments, yet were keenly aware that the more they collected, the more jarring the sound of them scattering on the ground when they parted would be.

The day before we parted, in the evening.

Ji Rendong came to Shi Banxia's room and sat down next to her as she was packing her luggage. She said softly, "Tonight... the clouds are thin, there will be the aurora. Do you want to go see it? The last time."

Shi Banxia felt as if her heart had been gently squeezed.

She recalled that when she first arrived, driven by her longing for the aurora borealis, she recklessly "clung" to Ji Rendong to be her "guide" and take her to take pictures.

That aurora borealis was the breaking point in their relationship. It was the first time Shi Banxia felt Ji Rendong's gentleness, which dispelled her unfamiliarity and unease upon arriving in the polar region.

Now, the aurora has returned, but it has become the backdrop for their farewell.

Shi Banxia paused slightly as she tidied her backpack.

The last time.

These words, like needles, gently pierced her heart. Shi Banxia raised her head and met Ji Rendong's seemingly calm gaze, catching a glimpse of the same cautious expectation she felt.

"good."

Shi Banxia smiled, trying to make it look natural, "Let's go together."

They put on their coats and went together to the familiar open space outside the research station.

Just like the night of the first ice-breaking, the aurora arrived as promised under the vast starry sky, even more magnificent and spectacular than before, with green light curtains swaying and changing like light gauze.

Shi Banxia set up her camera, but didn't press the shutter for a long time. She didn't look up at the aurora, but looked at Ji Rendong standing under the halo of light through the viewfinder.

“Sister Rendong,” Shi Banxia suddenly spoke, her voice slightly swaying in the wind, “Do you remember the first time you brought me here? At that time, I felt that being able to capture such a scene would make this Arctic trip worthwhile.”

Ji Rendong's eyes flickered, and she said softly, "Yes, I remember. The aurora is indeed very beautiful."

Shi Banxia pursed her lips and said nothing more. She raised her camera and tried her best to immerse herself in the shooting. The soft sound of the shutter was particularly clear in the silence.

Ji Rendong stood quietly beside Shi Banxia. She didn't look at the aurora, but silently gazed at Shi Banxia's focused profile, illuminated by the aurora.

When the aurora reached its peak, almost covering the entire sky, Shi Banxia suddenly put down her camera.

She turned around and looked at Ji Rendong, her eyes reflecting a beautiful, flowing light, and shimmering with a watery hue.

“Sister Rendong…” Shi Banxia’s voice was choked with emotion, “I’m not filming anymore.”

"What's wrong?" Ji Rendong stepped forward and asked softly.

"I want to...memorize it with my eyes."

Shi Banxia approached her, and the two were very close.

"I want to remember the last aurora we saw together."

"The images captured by the lens are ultimately separated by a layer of glass. What I want to remember is the sky at this moment, the air at this moment, and... you at this moment."

Ji Rendong's heart was struck hard.

She looked into Shi Banxia's moist eyes, which held the same pure light as when she first saw the aurora, but were now filled with emotions she couldn't bear.

Longing, reluctance, bittersweetness…

They understand so many emotions.

Ji Rendong reached out, seemingly wanting to touch Shi Banxia's face, but his fingertips paused in mid-air before gently landing on her shoulder, softly brushing away the snowflakes.

"good."

All the words in the world can be summed up in just one word.

They sat side by side on the snow, letting the dazzling light and shadow flow and imprint themselves in their pupils.

There were no kisses, no hugs, just quiet companionship until the aurora gradually faded and the night sky returned to its deep, inky blue.

On the morning of our departure, the weather was unexpectedly fine, with sunlight shining on the boundless snowfield.

Outside the research station, the engine roared as the snowmobile to pick up Shi Banxia and take her to the airport was ready. Colleagues from the station came out to see her off, offering hugs, blessings, and goodbyes.

Shi Banxia responded to each of her teammates' farewells, but her eyes kept searching for that figure in the crowd.

Ji Rendong stood a little distance away from the crowd, wearing that familiar research uniform. His expression was as calm as ever, with only his slightly lowered eyes and tightly pursed lips revealing a hint of emotion.

Shi Banxia took a deep breath and walked towards her. All the noise seemed to fade away at that moment.

“Sister Rendong,” Shi Banxia tried to make her voice sound cheerful, but it still trembled slightly, “I… am leaving.”

"Yes," Ji Rendong nodded, his voice steady, "Have a safe journey."

The air seemed to freeze. The noise of their colleagues around them seemed to be separated by a membrane. Between them, that familiar, heartbreaking silence returned.

Shi Banxia looked at the silent Ji Rendong, and the words that had swirled in her heart countless times...

"Will you miss me?" The question almost slipped out.

But Shi Banxia remembered Ji Rendong's answer a few days ago at breakfast: "The research station has no shortage of photographers." In the end, she only moved her lips, swallowing back all her reluctance and questions, turning them into a somewhat forced smile and a disappointed "okay."

Shi Banxia took out a small box carefully wrapped in soft fabric from her backpack.

—Inside the box was the Springer Spaniel police dog pendant from the port city that she had shown to Ji Rendong before.

“This,” Shi Banxia handed over the small police dog, her eyes already reddening uncontrollably, “is for you. Let it… keep Sister Rendong company for me. Seeing it will make you feel less lonely…”

Ji Rendong looked down at the small Springer Spaniel that seemed out of place in this icy world, remained silent for a few seconds, and then solemnly reached out and took it.

Her fingertips brushed against Shi Banxia's palm, carrying a hint of coolness, yet she gripped the Springer Spaniel tightly.

Ji Rendong's fingertips caressed the little police dog pendant; the soft fur brushed against her palm, bringing a lingering sting.

Ji Rendong raised his head and looked at Shi Banxia with deep eyes, as if he wanted to etch her image into the depths of his eyes.

"Thank you." Ji Rendong's voice was a little hoarse. "You won't be lonely."

Then, Shi Banxia raised her hand and gently shook the cat pendant in her hand—it was a gift from Ji Rendong, which she had kept carefully.

“This,” Shi Banxia stroked the kitten, a tearful smile on her face, “I’ll take it with me.”

The warmth you gave me, I've taken it with me.

No superfluous words were exchanged; all the longing and reluctance were conveyed through these gifts. One stayed to keep you company, the other took away as a memento.

Ji Rendong looked at the kitten pendant on Shi Banxia's hand, and a huge, weightless sense of loss overwhelmed her without warning.

"You forgot your hand warmer," Ji Rendong suddenly said in a very soft voice.

This was the first time Ji Rendong had mentioned those subtle details about Shi Banxia's life in the polar regions, as the moment of parting was about to come true.

Shi Banxia finally couldn't hold back anymore, and tears slid down her cheeks.

She remembered Ji Rendong's warm hands when he handed her the hand warmer, and the countless moments when they hesitated to speak.

Shi Banxia shook her head, forcing a smile that looked more like a grimace. "I won't take it. Anyway... I won't need it in the future."

The horn blared again, urging passengers to board.

Shi Banxia knew she couldn't stay any longer.

She gave Ji Rendong a deep look, then turned around abruptly, strode towards the snowmobile, opened the door, and climbed inside.

She dared not linger any longer; she feared that if she turned back, she would never be able to bear leaving again.

"Banxia," Rendong suddenly called out to her.

Shi Banxia turned around abruptly, a glimmer of hope flashing in her eyes.

Ji Rendong stepped forward, took out a few things from his pocket, and stuffed them into Shi Banxia's hand—they were hand warmers.

"It's cold on the road, use this to warm your hands." Honeysuckle's voice was low, but her tone was still gentle enough to make Shi Banxia's heart flutter.

Shi Banxia looked at the hand warmer in her hand, her eyes reddening even more.

She recalled the bittersweet feeling she had when she said "I can't help but think about 'what ifs'" at the supply station that night. She looked up at Ji Rendong.

"Thank you... Sister Rendong." Shi Banxia turned her head to the side, her voice choked with emotion.

Honeysuckle reached out, seemingly wanting to touch her cheek again, or give her another hug, just like at the supply station, but she lowered her hand halfway up.

She simply looked at Shi Banxia in silence, then whispered, "Take care."

Shi Banxia nodded vigorously, and finally couldn't help but cry out.

She quickly closed the car door, shutting out the snow-covered world outside, and also shutting out Ji Rendong, who stood in the snow, his gaze following her.

The snowmobile started and drove off into the distance.

Ji Rendong stood there, watching the car door close and the snowmobile slowly move away, eventually becoming a black dot and disappearing into the azure horizon.

The kiss at the supply station in the snowstorm, the tacit response on the message board, the drunken confession, the fingers pulling back when they touched... all the images came flooding back like a tide, and then gradually faded away as the snowmobile drove off.

Ji Rendong stood there, her eyes stinging.

She opened her palm, and there lay the tiny Springer Spaniel, peacefully. She gently stroked it with her fingertips, as if she could still feel a trace of its warmth.

A colleague sighed from behind, "Sigh, Xiaxia's gone back. The station's going to be quiet again."

Ji Rendong didn't turn around; her gaze remained fixed on the disappearing tire track on the horizon. She said softly:

"See you again."

A note from the author:

Missed out on your lover (no)

Xiaxia: Waaaaaah, I'm heartbroken...

Dongdong: (A good idea is forming)

The Earth is round, and Xiaxia and Dongdong will meet again~

This concludes the first part of "No Heartbeats Allowed in the Arctic Circle"! Thank you all for your support of Dongdong and Xiaxia!

I might take a two-day break (or I might continue updating) because I want to revise the first six chapters. Thank you for your understanding.