Perhaps it was the letters from his family and the heavy package that made Du Jiang feel the long-lost care and warmth. That night, Du Jiang had another dream.

It was an incident that happened when Du Jiang was very young. He should have been four or five years old at that time. Because his mother was busy with work, Du Jiang and Du Ke both had shaved heads that were easy to take care of. Combined with the clothes they were wearing, they looked like boys.

The person wearing the clothes didn't mean it, and neither did Du's mother who put the clothes on her. But the people who saw it did. So Du Jiang and Du Ke, who had been playing outside all day, had no idea that the rumor that Du's mother wanted a boy and deliberately dressed the child in boys' clothes spread throughout the compound. Even though Du's mother explained it again and again, no one believed it. In addition, the exaggeration of Mrs. Du and Mrs. Du further confirmed the matter, to the extent that Du's mother's work was almost affected. If Du's father had not stood firmly behind Du's mother, the consequences would have been disastrous.

Rumors are the most hurtful, especially when directed at a woman. Even though gender equality is advocated, those ancient ideas still occupy the minds of most people. Such rumors continued for two years until Du Liangcai spoke out and silenced the harsh words.

The rumors of those years completely turned the originally docile mother Du into a hot-tempered person, and Du Jiang's silence and docility were probably very similar to her past. Every time she saw Du Jiang, it was like seeing her former incompetent self. But as a mother, how could she hurt her own child? She just ignored the child.

This made Du Jiang more and more silent day by day. Facing Du Ke and Du Liangcai who got along happily with their parents, Du Jiang felt like an outsider.

The first child gets love from his parents, the last child blocks the rumors from outsiders and stabilizes the restlessness beneath the darkness of the family. Only the middle child, who is neither the eldest nor the youngest, and who remains silent year after year, is wandering outside the family.

Du Jiang suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, sweat oozing from her forehead. Qian Meili, who was standing next to her, was gnashing her teeth. It was unknown what kind of sweet dream she had, but she was mumbling words like "delicious".

Du Jiang turned her head to look at the beams of the roof, and stretched out her hands hidden under the quilt to cover her eyes, blocking the faint light in front of her. Those dreams were just like she had really walked through them. The short child stood behind her sister and brother, rubbing her hands nervously, but could not get a piece of lard. Looking at her sister and brother who were eating the delicious food in front of her, the little girl was so envious that she almost cried, but the person in the apron standing in front of the stove moved his chopsticks away as usual, as if he had never seen her.

There were many things like this, and scenes flashed through Du Jiang's mind. Tears flowed uncontrollably, wetting the pillowcase under her head.

Du Jiang bit her lips tightly, not daring to make a sound, but a few words of sobbing still came out, which were particularly loud in the dark night.

In order to prevent Qian Meili from hearing, Du Jiang pulled up the quilt to cover his head, leaving only the top of his hair exposed. Then he curled up in the quilt, covering his mouth tightly, his body shaking.

The memories of the past were clear and profound. One small thing after another converged into a river. The grievances and bitterness in the river were enough to drown Du Jiang, making her dizzy and her heart ache.

At the last moment of feeling suffocated, Du Jiang suddenly threw back the quilt, gasping for breath. The letter from home that was pressed under the pillow was extremely hot at this moment. The heat seeped into Du Jiang's head along the pillow, bringing him waves of dizziness. Du Jiang was so dizzy that he didn't know east from west, south from north, whether he was asleep or awake. He seemed to be bound by some unknown thing, unable to break free or penetrate.

"Since we are lucky enough to be alive, we must live with all our strength. Living is never about taking advantage of anyone else, but only for ourselves!"

The voice seemed to come from the horizon, making Du Jiang's head extremely clear at this moment, and the dizziness that drowned her just now seemed like an illusion.

But the drowsiness that came with waking up made Du Jiang fall asleep again.

When she woke up the next day and looked at the wet pillowcase under her, Du Jiang's expression was very complicated, which finally turned into a sigh. She also had a draft of her reply at this time.

"Get up, go wash up quickly." Qian Meili came in after washing up and saw Du Jiang sitting on the bed. She was immediately worried. "What's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell? Are you sick?"

Seeing the worry on Qian Meili's face, Du Jiang felt relieved. Then he smiled and shook his head. "It's okay. I just received a letter from home last night and dreamed about some things from my childhood. Sister Qian, I'll go wash up now."

After saying this, he jumped out of bed as if he had been revived, and ran out to wash up.

The person who was melancholy one second ago became full of energy the next second, which made Qian Meili stunned. She scratched her head blankly and became curious about Du Jiang's letter home.

However, despite her curiosity, Qian Meili still has a moral bottom line and would not look through other people's things without permission.

But even though she couldn't see, she could still ask. So on the way to work, Qian Meili was extra clingy, making Du Jiang lose all temper. She could only mumble, "I just missed me. You know, out of three siblings in my family, I'm the only one who lives far away. My parents and my sister said they missed me and asked me to go back during the Chinese New Year, preferably."

"Is that so?" Qian Meili began to worry when she heard about the New Year. She glanced at Huo Yang and the others walking in front of her, then moved closer to Du Jiang and said in a low voice, "We educated youth don't have many holidays. If we're far away from home during the New Year, the round trip won't be enough time. Besides, the money we earn can't even afford the train tickets."

"How did you know?" Du Jiang lowered her voice, imitating Qian Meili's behavior.

"My dad is a purchasing agent for the factory. He's often away from home and knows a lot. I also heard from him in a letter that the girl from the courtyard next door who went to the countryside with me is getting married to a local. The wedding will be next month." Qian Meili's face flashed with worry when she said this. "I don't know what's going on. I know that girl is the weakest."

"Ah, is this true? You've only been here for a short time and you're already getting married. Do you understand?"

"I don't know about that. The family sent a message to my dad, saying that I was nearby and asked him to go and find out what was going on. But my dad wrote in the letter that I could attend the wedding, but it would be better to bring some people with me."

For a while, the two of them gathered together and discussed in whispers. When the scorer finished the work, the two of them sat in the square grinding wheat and felt a little uneasy. Compared to Qian Meili who was worried about the neighbor sisters, Du Jiang was thinking more.

Because Du Jiang just learned something from Qian Meili, that is, more educated youth will be sent to the village in the future to relieve the pressure in the city, and it is basically hopeless to return to the city, unless he retires due to illness or has a job in the city, or goes to the Workers, Peasants and Soldiers University in the future. But no matter which path he chooses, it will be as difficult as climbing to the sky for Du Jiang.