36 He was afraid she would leave him again

He Yu felt that he was somewhat out of control.

He walked over quickly and clamped her hand without saying a word.

"Why are you here?"

"Can't I come? Or am I disturbing you?" He responded to her question coldly, contrary to his usual behavior, and then took her into the car without saying anything.

The hotel where Tao Wanjia was staying was not far away. In less than half an hour, He Yu followed her into the room forcefully.

The door was shut heavily, and then the man's stern figure walked back and forth in the narrow room.

It took Tao Wanjia a while to see what he was up to, but when she noticed him packing her things, she approached him and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Come back with me." He Yu turned his head and locked his eyes on her face.

Tao Wanjia's brows twitched. She had wanted to tell him about this later. She hadn't mentioned it during the phone call last night because she wanted to be sure before speaking. However, she didn't expect that he already knew it before she even said it.

She was a little confused about his childish behavior and felt that he was just being unreasonable.

So I changed the subject, "I'll go back after the master finishes the operation."

He Yu ignored her answer and took away all her things in the house. He was so meticulous that he even put the charger and contact lens case on the bedside table into his bag.

Tao Wanjia felt helpless, and a wave of irritation washed over her. She looked at his back and said, "He Yu, calm down."

"Why am I not calm?"

He Yu turned around, the anger in his eyes too obvious, "What did you promise me last time, have you forgotten?"

He didn't know what was wrong with him. He had been in a state of unknown anxiety since she left Rongcheng. That was why he became so extreme after knowing what it meant for her to leave the newspaper. He Yu tried his best to be patient and not be swayed by his emotions, but it seemed very difficult. He always felt insecure.

So even though he knew that the company couldn't do without him right now, he still came to Jingping without hesitation.

Tao Wanjia is like a bird, wandering for years across vast distances, her hometown a temporary home. She has no destination, and he will never find her flight path.

What's even more ridiculous is that he was planning to propose, but she had already thought of her next move and hadn't considered him at all.

It would be fine if she didn't consider it, but she thought his emotions were just a little temper.

"How can you be calm if you act like a child and throw a tantrum? He Yu, you are twenty-seven, not seventeen."

Tao Wanjia slowed down his tone and said, "Can we talk it out nicely?"

"Okay." He Yu paused. "Then tell me, do you want to go back to your previous job?"

"yes!"

He Yu felt his whole body trembling. The devil hidden in his heart crawled out to control him, causing all his rationality to collapse and lose control.

He grabbed Tao Wanjia's hand and led her to the entrance mirror, lifted the hem of her shirt and pointed at the wound.

"Look at this scar. You forgot about it as soon as it healed. Now you want to risk yourself again, right?"

He was so concerned that he lost all sense of propriety and emotion. He would do anything to stop her.

However, these actions will push her further and further away.

Tao Wanjia didn't even have the energy to argue with him. She felt that He Yu was a stranger at this moment. He had always been a gentle person since childhood and had never lost his temper with her in the twenty years they had known each other.

She couldn't even think of an accurate word to describe him now. She tiredly met the man's sharp gaze in the mirror and said, "He Yu, this is all my own business. Besides, didn't you say last time that you would support me in anything I do?"

"That's different!"

"I support you in everything, but I will never watch you take any more risks."

He was so emotional that he raised his hand and pressed it on her shoulder, his fingertips turning white with pressure. "Tao Wanji, what do you take me for? Your boyfriend or a stranger you don't trust enough?"

"He Yu, it's meaningless to say that."

"How is it interesting? I'm the last one to do everything you do... No, I don't even know. Did you think of me for a second before making your life decision? Or am I not even in your life plan?"

He Yu locked his gaze on her in a daze. The two of them were very close to each other. These words were like knives, bit by bit cutting through Tao Wanjia's last psychological defenses.

It was the first time she saw He Yu like this, and there was disbelief, stubbornness, and deep grievance in his eyes.

My heart softened.

After a long silence, she avoided his gaze, stared at the towering red wall in the distance outside the window, and then spoke.

"When I first started working, I had no money and was so poor that I could only rent a small house of a few square meters. There was no sunlight in that house, so the washed clothes could never dry. The only decent quality shirt I had had to be dried with a hair dryer for a long time after washing before I could wear it out."

"When you lie in bed at night, you can hear the sound of sirens on the street pouring over you like a tidal wave."

Her voice was soft and slow. He Yu was stunned. He listened quietly to the hardships in which he had never participated. His heart began to ache slowly and his hands suddenly loosened.

Tao Wanjia continued, calmly recounting with him his memories of work over the years.

"My first report was a post-disaster investigation of a flood on a small island. It was raining heavily at the time, and my photographer and I paddled a small boat into the water. The waves kept coming over us. If they had been bigger, or if we had been less lucky, you wouldn't be able to see me now."

His nose felt sore and he called her name.

"Listen to me first." She interrupted the concern he was about to blurt out and smiled.

"Back then, I loved going out on field trips because we always had travel expenses. You thought the work was hard and insignificant. But you didn't know that it was this job that gave a helpless girl in her early twenties the ability to find a foothold in society. Your meager salary, which you looked down upon, supported me year after year and allowed me to move from that small, dark rental house to a bright and clean apartment."

Tao Wanjia doesn't like to recall the twists and turns of the past. The path she has taken is far less important to her than the future. But when she recalls the past according to these words, she is also very proud of herself at this moment.

Suffering may not be worth singing about, but the self who overcomes difficulties is the most precious.

He Yu paused, "I don't look down on you. I feel honored for you, but I'm worried. After the dangerous situation last time, you will continue to be exposed to the bloody storm if you conduct an investigation again."

It's not that he didn't know her love and persistence, he just felt that her efforts were not proportional to her rewards, not to mention the hidden dangers. He just wanted to avoid it for her, and he couldn't bear the same thing as last time.

But he forgot that there are two kinds of people in this world: those who want to die comfortably in their beds, and those who want to die on the road. Tao Wanjia naturally fell into the latter category. She had never considered leaving herself a way out, and even when they were together, he was never a consideration or hesitation.

Because no one is worth her giving up this matter except herself.

Tao Wanjia looked at him seriously.

"He Yu, from childhood to adulthood, everything you have and have has been easy for you. I have envied you more than once and even wavered in my thoughts. If my parents hadn't passed away, maybe I would have a life like yours. But then I thought about it and I don't think so. Everyone has their own challenges, and all living things suffer. But what I want to say is that leaving Rongcheng and leaving you for these years was exactly the time when my bones and blood grew rapidly. I no longer need anyone to help me, and I can take responsibility for any decision I make."

Once upon a time, she saw his love as a tool to save herself. It was He Yu's existence that made her feel that she was not rootless and helpless, but this was not a healthy and long-term relationship.

Like Huang Zheng, she had to first give up the person who was the hardest for her to give up before she could become a better self.

"He Yu, no one can persuade me to give up the investigation. Even if that person is you, I will not change my mind."

Seeing that he didn't say anything, Tao Wanji took a deep breath and said, "If you find it unacceptable, then we can break up—"

Before Tao Wanji could finish his words, he had already been pushed down on the sofa.

He Yu was very strong, and while holding her tightly under his body, he also kissed her. He moved very ferociously, biting and plundering, with the force of a wild beast demarcating territory.

A scorching breath swept over him, and Tao Wanji bit him. The two of them competed with each other, and neither of them gave in even in pain. The taste of rust spread wildly in their mouths.

He was afraid, and even more afraid that she would leave him again.

He simply couldn't bear to lose her any more, he simply couldn't endure the pain.

After a long while, He Yu regained his senses and buried his head in her shoulder to calm his breathing.

Tao Wangjia stroked the back of his head to calm him down, and suddenly felt a drop of warm liquid.

"He Yu..."

"sorry."

The man sounded aggrieved, venting all his emotions without even meeting her gaze.

"I just don't want to leave you."

"You have things you want to do and dreams you want to fulfill, but I don't have that many grand ambitions. I just want to be with you for a long time."

He Yu spoke in a low voice, telling her word by word about his past that he had never told her in the safe place where his nose was filled with her scent.

"When I first came to Rongcheng, I didn't like it, just like I didn't like South City or my home. I thought it was gray, this steel plant, and these shabby residential buildings. The only thing I liked was you."

His tone was obscure, and she had the illusion that she could sense more and more tears in his eyes.

"At that time, the happiest thing every day was following you everywhere. It was you who made me fall in love with this place. So after returning home, I didn't want to go anywhere else. I just wanted to stay here."

For a long time, he was in a daze and couldn't find the meaning of life. After He Jinsheng inherited the company, he also became clichéd and began to apply the standards of the people around him to him. His hands were broken and he couldn't paint. He was like a tool, rotating back and forth in the group. He numbed himself with work until the announcement of the expansion of the northern market four years ago, which seemed to give him a breath of fresh air.

But then came more problems. Rongcheng was no longer what it once was. To put it bluntly, it was probably a city in a state of constant decline. Having witnessed its shining moments years ago, he couldn't accept it and tried desperately to create opportunities here. He Jinsheng couldn't persuade him, so he ultimately followed He Yu's wishes.

He was obsessed with guarding this ruin that had the same beautiful memories as her, and he was guarding it while looking for her.

Without her, none of this would mean anything.

Tao Wanjia was deeply distressed by his words. She had never doubted his love for her, but she always prioritized herself in her considerations. But He Yu was not like that. The most important person in the world to him was Tao Wanjia, and she would always unconditionally take precedence over everything else.

He doesn't care about himself, or rather, he completely forgets himself when he loves someone.

Feeling a dull pain in his heart, Tao Wanji raised his hand to hold up his face.

Their foreheads touched and she wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes.

"I didn't mean to hide it from you. This job is very important to me, and to you too."

She eased the atmosphere, put her lips to his and explained, "I won't give up on the investigation, and I won't give up on you like I did before."

She never thought and hoped that one day she would be forced to choose between him and this matter, and the opposite side should not be He Yu, who was both her lover and her family.

He Yu's eyes quickly became hot again, and he lowered his head and kissed her lips, refusing to move away.

This time, his movements were gentle, like a kitten tentatively licking a wound. His dark eyes, now covered with a layer of mist, seemed even clearer.

"You have things you want to do, and I won't disturb you, but my job is to protect you. Tao Wanjia, can you be more honest with me?"