155. If there is a parallel universe

Ling Ling returned to her workstation, smiled helplessly and shook her head, feeling foolish for the sudden spark that had just erupted within her. What had she been expecting? Yu Chuanbei's sudden appearance, a rekindled romance between them? She picked up the envelope, turning it over and over. Unwilling to open it, she put it in the drawer, but the lifeless envelope seemed to have grown arms and legs, constantly stirring, even when she couldn't see it. She had no choice but to take it out again. The pages were neatly folded. Yu Chuanbei's elegant handwriting contained two pages of handwritten notes: Ling: I apologize for having to say goodbye to you this way, but I feel this is more fitting for both of us. A short letter conveys a deep feeling. Take care. By the time you read this, I'll have already left Beijing. I'm traveling the world with a deep-diving team that supports extreme sports, diving projects. It might be documentaries, or supporting scientific research. The schedule varies depending on the stage and location. Your birthday is coming up soon, and I'm sorry that this year my birthday gift to you is a farewell. I never had the chance to tell you that my favorite sport is diving. Our time together was so short, and I still have so much to tell you; yet we so easily squandered this precious time on arguments and resentment. I've always loved diving, and after we parted ways, I became obsessed. It seems only the bottomless waters can bring me peace. Deep beneath the sea, without light or sound, that scene feels like my own personal confessional. I repent for my unforgivable sins, the punishment I inflict is the eternal loss of you and our child. At the deepest depths, everything is silent, danger lurks everywhere, closest to death, yet unable to sense anything. Now, I seem to crave that feeling even more. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my recent resignation when we last met. After meeting Luo Hao yesterday, I learned that you had actually broken up. I understand why you kept it a secret; I didn't deserve to know. Since we parted ways, I've often wondered how much better it would have been if I hadn't done that foolish, unforgivable thing. I often imagine us living together in another parallel universe, one where we're married, have children, and raise the child we once lost. We may argue fiercely and be disappointed in each other from time to time, but we will also love each other calmly, and no matter how angry we are, we will never do anything irreparable. Then our children will grow up, from being rebellious to gradually understanding us; and we will grow old, and even if we grow tired of each other, we will not regret meeting each other in the first place. I leave the house we used to live in to you...

Ling Ling returned to her workstation, smiled helplessly and shook her head, thinking that the sparks that had just appeared in her heart for no reason were so stupid. What was she expecting? Yu Chuanbei suddenly appearing, and then the two of them rekindling their old love?

She picked up the envelope, looked over it, and didn't want to open it, so she put it in the drawer. But the lifeless envelope seemed to have grown arms and legs, and seemed to be constantly stirring, even though she couldn't see it. She had no choice but to take the envelope out again. The paper was folded neatly, and Yu Chuanbei had written two pages of letter in his elegant handwriting:

spirit:

I'm sorry to say goodbye to you in this way, but I feel that this way seems more suitable for both of us. The letter is short but my feelings are deep. I hope you take care.

By the time you read this, I'll have already left Beijing and am traveling the world with a deep-diving team that sponsors extreme sports. This might be for a documentary or to assist with scientific research. The schedule will vary depending on the stage and location. Your birthday is coming soon, and I'm sorry that this year my birthday gift to you is a farewell.

I never had the chance to tell you that my favorite sport is diving. Our time together was so short, and there are so many things I haven't told you; but we easily spent such precious time arguing and hating each other.

I've always loved diving, and even become obsessed with it after we parted. It seems only the bottomless waters can bring me peace. Deep beneath the sea, devoid of light and sound, that scene feels like my own personal confessional. I repent for my unforgivable sins, the punishment I endured being the eternal loss of you and our child. At the deepest depths, everything is silent, danger lurks at every turn, I'm closest to death, yet I feel nothing. Now, I seem to crave that feeling even more.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my recent resignation the last time we met. After meeting Luo Hao yesterday, I learned you'd already broken up. I understand why you kept it a secret; I didn't deserve to know.

After parting ways with you, I often wondered how much better it would have been if I hadn't done that foolish, unforgivable thing. I often imagined the two of us living together in another parallel universe, a place where we'd married, had children, and raised the child we once lost. We might argue fiercely, and be disappointed in each other from time to time, but we'd also love each other calmly, never doing anything irreparable, no matter how angry we were. Then, slowly, our child would grow up, from being rebellious to slowly understanding us; and we'd grow old, and even if we grew to dislike each other, we wouldn't regret meeting each other.

I've left you the house we used to live in. I bought it to be close to your company. The password hasn't changed, and it's just as it was when you left. Would you please move in? I'd be very happy.

Ling, I will be gone for a very long time, maybe even for a lifetime. Maybe we will never meet again, but if we do, I hope we can be like the first time we met - you are reckless and uninhibited, and I am waiting here.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ling Ling finished reading Yu Chuanbei's letter and felt completely lost. What did that mean? She might never see him again in this lifetime? This was the closest she'd ever come to death. Could it be that when they met again, they might be separated by the Yin and Yang? Her heart instantly sank into the abyss. She felt the air suddenly become thinner, her breathing quickening.

She just wanted to see him now, to ask him not to leave. She dialed his number with trembling fingertips, but the cold voice of the machine replied that the line was turned off.

She rushed out of the office, at a loss for words, but she tried to stay calm. She wanted to go to their old house. How she wished she could see him there, hug him tightly, and keep him here.

The traffic at Guomao was far from ideal, and she ran furiously, sweating by the time she reached her home. She walked into the living room and saw several papers and cards on the table. There was a notarized document and a house gift agreement, the preliminary procedures for gifting the house to Lingling, which still needed Lingling's signature. The rest of the cards were utility and gas cards, as well as the property management fee payment status, all of which he had handwritten out on paper.

Ling Ling ran to the bedroom again, opened the wardrobe, and searched for his clothes. His formal clothes were still there, even the clothes she had left there and didn't take with her. Only his sportswear and suitcase were missing.

In the silent house, only her heavy breathing could be heard. She looked around and saw that the house was furnished just as it was when she left. The only difference was that Yu Chuanbei was gone.

She curled up in bed, hugging his pillow tightly, tears streaming down her face, soaking the pillow, and the soft cotton wool withered as she shivered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Going to work is actually a magical thing. You just need to perform it mindlessly and numbly, and it can split your quietly flowing years into eight hours and six minutes, and then your bewildered soul can settle into each mechanical module. No matter how painful the past was, looking back, it was only a moment.

The emotions of working people are stored in a multi-compartment storage cabinet. Different drawers contain different emotions, which cannot interfere with each other.

Over the past thirty years, Ling Ling has experienced countless separations and deaths: her parents' car accident, her cousin's passing from illness, the premature death of Qiu Qiu's son, the changes in Long Jia's family, Sheng Nan's departure, her brief romance with Zhong Mingtong, and now, her lifelong entanglement with Yu Chuanbei. And then there's her child, robbed of life while still a fetus. All of this has accumulated in her heart, taking root and sprouting. Every inch of its growth is painful, yet she refuses to cry out. Then, this pain will silently grow thick and dense, obscuring the very fabric of her heart. In the dead of night, she wakes with a suffocating breath; in the clamor of day, she continues to wander the dazzling world of fame and fortune.

After another busy day, Lingling quietly reclined on her office sofa, admiring the CBD's nightscape as the lights began to come on. The floor-to-ceiling windows were the most valuable reward after her promotion, allowing her to have her own piece of sky—not just a visual haven, but also a spiritual haven.

There were several knocks on the door behind her. Ling Ling stood up in confusion, not expecting that it was Luo Hao who came.

"Alone?" Luo Hao asked curiously.

"What else?" Ling Ling felt that his question was strange.

Luo Hao smiled mysteriously, holding up a bottle of whiskey from behind him. In his other hand, he held two glasses filled with ice. "Want a drink?"

"But you brought a bottle." Ling Ling stepped aside to let him in.

Luo Hao placed the wine and glass on the coffee table in front of the French window. After filling the glass, he raised his glass and sat down on the sofa with a solemn expression. He smiled helplessly and said, "Alas, when you were just a soldier, you didn't show due respect to me, the Human Resources Director. Now that you've been promoted above me, you don't even treat me as your senior!"

"I'm doing okay during working hours. I can treat you as my senior, elder, or whatever. But now it's non-working hours. If you want to come to me for emotional value, you have to pay separately." Ling Ling sat down opposite him, picked up another glass of wine, and drank it all.

Luo Hao looked at her coldly, "If you drink it so quickly, it doesn't have to be so expensive."

His words reminded Ling Ling of Yu Chuanbei. He remembered one time when he accompanied her on the roadside to finish a copywriting. He bought her a cup of coffee, which she gulped down. Yu Chuanbei had said something similar: If you drink so fast, this thing wouldn't need to be so expensive.

Seeing her gazing out the window absentmindedly, Luo Hao sighed and said, "Alas, I always thought you and Yu Chuanbei would be spared from the disaster of love."

Ling Ling looked at him with a puzzled look.

Luo Hao continued, "Before Yu Chuanbei left, he asked me to pass that letter on to you. He said he hoped you could live in his house. Don't think of it as a burden, just as if it were a tool, just like you were staying in a hotel—just to be closer to work and make your life more comfortable. I heard you're still living in a hotel, right?"

Ling Ling poured herself another glass, took a sip of the cold wine, and then said, "If I live there, I'll eventually feel like I'm waiting for him, and I don't like myself like this. What's more, it seems as if as long as I wait, he will come."