31. Mr. Gu's three-piece suit

After leaving the venue, Bai Yihan stuck close to the unhappy Ling Ling and said, "Lingling, I heard that Mr. Gu's speech was written by you during overtime these days, right? Originally, you submitted a summary and signed it, but now it was used in his presentation, and even the signature is gone." Ling Ling said angrily, "After three months of getting along with each other, I have summarized it - Mr. Gu's three-piece set: picking peaches, giving acupuncture, and making false accusations." "Hey, keep your voice down!" Bai Yihan cautiously signaled her to lower her voice. Ling Ling, however, looked completely dejected. "Tsk, what's the big deal? I wish he'd just kick me off the project team so I could write my copy and creative advertising in peace and quiet. He's a man of limited ability, but he has a bad temper. He also revels in the rituals of leadership. Every time I talk to him about work, I have to stand at attention and at ease. His inflated self-interest can't sustain his shrinking brain. The less capable a person is, the more guilty they become about bureaucracy. It's really frustrating. He loves the ritual of equal rank so much. If he ever falls into the river, I'll definitely go through the OA approval process in a proper manner, making everyone involved in the process leave a record in the system and express their opinion on whether he needs to be rescued. Then, if I go on an emergency business trip, I won't be able to complete the process without setting up the OA system to be out of office! "You're so cruel!" Bai Yihan gave her a thumbs-up. In Ling Ling's mind, Gu Chaoqun was like the ugly guy Cecilia Cheung encountered when she was playing a schoolgirl in "The King of Comedy." There was nothing about him that was unattractive. Liu Piaopiao had originally taught nightclub girls how to be professional with customers: If the customer isn't good-looking, don't look at their entire face; if they have nice ears, look at their ears; if they have a disgusting mouth but nice teeth, look only at their teeth. But the customers they encountered ended up drooling, with rotting teeth, mucus in their eyes, hair growing out of their nostrils, bugs crawling out of their ears, and even cockroaches crawling out of their hair. Gu Chaoqun, on the other hand, veered off-topic whenever he got to business, and answered questions irrelevantly when questioned. If it were just his lack of professional skills, but he was playing nice, I'd be able to tolerate that; but now, even his last shred of character had vanished. Ling Ling was no longer prepared to tolerate him. To efficiently complete the system construction and launch, she stopped wasting time with him. From then on, in every subsequent meeting, Ling Ling contradicted Gu Chaoqun's foolish instructions and debunked any ulterior motives, completely seizing control of every meeting. During a meeting that day, Gu Chaoqun began to expound on his "brilliant ideas" on big data models: "Our company's current level of intelligence is zero, and the research department doesn't even...

After leaving the venue, Bai Yihan leaned close to the unhappy Ling Ling and said, "Ling Ling, I heard that you worked overtime these past few days to write Mr. Gu's speech. You originally submitted a summary and signed it, but now that he used it in his presentation, even your signature is gone."

Ling Ling said angrily, "After three months of getting along with him, I've come to a conclusion - Mr. Gu's three-piece set: picking peaches, giving needles, and making false accusations."

"Hey, keep your voice down!" Bai Yihan cautiously gestured for her to lower her voice.

Ling Ling, however, looked completely dejected. "Tsk, what's the big deal? I wish he'd just kick me out of the project team so I could write my copy and creative advertising in peace and quiet. He's a man of limited ability, but he has a bad temper. He also revels in the rituals of leadership. Every time I talk to him about work, we have to stand at ease and attention. His inflated selfishness can't sustain his shrinking brain. The less capable a person is, the more guilty they are about bureaucracy. It's really frustrating. He loves the ritual of equal rank so much. If he ever falls into the river, I'll definitely go through the OA approval process in a proper manner. Everyone involved in the process will leave a record in the system and express their opinion on whether he needs to be rescued. Then, I'll go on an emergency business trip, and if I don't set up the OA system to be out of office, no one will be able to complete the process!"

"You're so cruel!" Bai Yihan gave her a thumbs up.

In Ling Ling's mind, Gu Chaoqun was like the ugly guy that Cecilia Cheung encountered when she was playing a schoolgirl in "The King of Comedy." There was nothing about him that was unattractive. Liu Piaopiao had originally taught nightclub girls how to be professional with customers: If the customer is not good-looking, don't look at his whole face. If he has beautiful ears, just look at his ears. If he has a disgusting mouth but beautiful teeth, just look at his teeth. But the customers she met ended up with drool, rotten teeth, mucus in their eyes, nose hairs growing out of their nostrils, bugs crawling out of their ears, and even cockroaches crawling out of their hair.

Gu Chaoqun always veered off topic when discussing serious matters, and answered questions irrelevantly when questioned. If it were simply his poor professional skills, but he was playing nice, I could have tolerated it; but now, even the last shred of his integrity had been shattered. Ling Ling was no longer prepared to tolerate him. To efficiently complete the system construction and production, she stopped wasting time with him. In all subsequent meetings, Ling Ling would refute Gu Chaoqun's foolish instructions and expose any ulterior motives, completely seizing control of every meeting.

During a meeting that day, Gu Chaoqun launched into another lecture on his "brilliant ideas" regarding big data models: "Our company's current level of intelligence is zero. Our Research Department doesn't even have a big data analysis model. In the current advertising market, it's like driving on a dark road without lights. We wouldn't even know how we died. So, I'm going to collect third-party data from the companies on the procurement list and hire a dedicated modeling expert to deploy the engine for us. Because this involves a large purchase, the Finance Department has stated that it requires joint approval from all departments. Everyone in this department, please report this to the managers. The OA process will be brought to your department tomorrow. Please review it to avoid delaying our project progress."

Ling Ling glanced at the densely packed list, filled with many small, unrelated companies and numerous data sources of unknown use. Ling Ling felt particularly angry. Gu Chaoqun was truly stupid and treacherous. The company hired him at a high salary, but he brought no benefits to the company, and yet he wasted money like this. So she started to speak up again: "Mr. Gu, I think it is debatable whether we should purchase all the data from the companies on this list. The country currently has extremely strict management of personal information protection. If we don't cooperate with licensed companies, the data we purchase may not bring any benefits to the company, but will already lead to penalties."

Seeing Ling Ling, this "troublemaker," come to mess with him again, Gu Chaoqun rolled his eyes and said, "I've already informed Mingdake about this matter. He's already agreed, and the legal department has also issued a formal opinion. What are you, a lowly writer, trying to do?"

"Mr. Ming is our creative director. You probably only gave him the outline, and he only approved the final result. He certainly didn't pay attention to the details. The Legal Department's expertise is limited to reviewing the terms of the outsourcing contracts of the third-party companies, and they don't know their specific qualifications. If we all agree to align this list, and something goes wrong, I'm afraid you and I will be jointly blamed. Since I'm involved in the project, I must play the role that my level requires. I can't let Mr. Mei take the blame for my oversight, and please be worthy of your superiors."

Gu Chaoqun was so enraged by Ling Ling's words that he lost his composure. "What can you possibly 'detect'? We're using a big data analysis model, do you understand? Without external data, how can we build models, create matrices, cleanse data, and cold-start? Mind your own business first. I'll use my model to carefully measure the copy you write. I want to see how much revenue the ads placed using your copy can bring to advertisers. Or are you just sitting there eating for free?"

Ling Ling wasn't afraid of Gu Chaoqun's outburst. She politely retorted, "Okay, I'm not afraid of the calculation, but the calculation formula has to be correct first, right? The data companies you're purchasing aren't guaranteed to have reliable credentials, their sources aren't objective, and they're constantly running calculations in the system. I see a lot of them charge by the number of queries. What's the point of such a high-cost model?"

Our company, Tuowu, is an advertising company that grew up together with foreign 4A agencies in the 1990s. It has a history of 30 years. There are tens of thousands of complete advertisements and customer information in our archives. You did not think of using these free and authentic internal data to test the accuracy of the model. Instead, you went far away to find these unreliable external data sources.

You're comprehensively integrating all available data, hoping it will become a stunt for your PowerPoint presentations, boasting about how much third-party data you've incorporated and how much your company's intelligence has improved. I'm fine with using external data, but you should prioritize it within the model. This will both consider the company's data costs and achieve more accurate results, truly supporting our creative staff in gaining insight into market preferences beforehand and understanding user preferences afterward.

Unexpectedly, Ling Ling had exposed all his thoughts. To ease the awkwardness, he said with a cold smile, "Huh, when I was working on the system platform at 4A, you didn't even know what Tuo Wu was doing! It seems that Ling Da Copywriter needs to be an amateur to guide the experts. Well, since you know so much about model building, why don't you come and analyze your modeling results at the regular meeting next week? Meeting adjourned!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~

In the deserted office, Ling Ling was the only one still working overtime on the data analysis model. Since she had already made her harsh words, she naturally had to do her best to complete this task and not let that bitch Gu Chaoqun make a fool of herself.

When Ling Ling first joined the project team, Gu Chaoqun bullied her because she was new and inexperienced, forcing her to do all the dirty work and then, in meetings, beating anyone who resisted him, both openly and covertly. Now, after a few months, she'd gotten a good grasp of the situation. Although she wasn't a computer science major, as a product manager, she was fully capable of handling it. Since she'd already countered with a punch that knocked Gu Chaoqun to the ground in the first round, she couldn't miss the opportunity to pin him down.

Ling Ling had always looked down on someone like Gu Chaoqun, with his low IQ and low character, and she didn't want to dirty her hands by fighting him. After all, workplace struggles often seem like a two-faced struggle from the outside, and superiors often judged both sides equally. There was no need to ruin her reputation for such a person. But now Gu Chaoqun was going too far. Since she had no evidence and couldn't bring herself to speak out in the meeting, she had always suspected that his frenzied purchase of data-driven products was likely motivated by ulterior motives. His actions had angered her, and she, the chivalrous woman Ling, was about to re-emerge to help.

Although she felt dizzy looking at the pile of data models, to encourage herself, Ling Ling used her phone to take a picture of the flowcharts covering her desk and the mathematical matrix on her computer screen. After blurring out the key information, she posted it on Weibo with the caption: "With a sword in my heart and a heart as strong as a lute, I will journey alone for thousands of miles. P.S. I'm somewhere between a joke teller and an overworked person. I don't have any troops to deploy, I just engage in a tormenting exchange with the mathematical matrix..."

Author's Note

Liu Qiu

author

04-01

I just realized today is April Fools' Day. So, I wish us a happy holiday, let's make it fun to fool ourselves, let our minds be brilliant, and pretend that the world is kind-hearted.