17. Tell me, what are the conditions?

Luo Hao stammered, trying to salvage even a tiny bit: "I, I only smoked twice, both at Qu Qiaoqiao's private parties. Those times were agonizing. I didn't like her, and I didn't want to fit in with her circle. But I'm nothing in Paris. My career is a mess, I don't have a single friend, and even you ignore me. I live like a loser every day, with no one recognizing me. I came to Paris and worked hard to become someone you'd like, but I feel increasingly unworthy, unworthy of you..." His body slid slowly down the cold wall, his head buried between his knees, his hands covering his head, trying to hide his shame. But his suppressed sobs betrayed his vulnerability. The purple-red scar between his fair fingers stung Yu Jinnan even more. She took a step forward, wanting to squat down and hug him, but she hesitated. She couldn't let him sink into this state any longer. "Luo Hao, go back home," she said firmly. He suddenly raised his head, his red eyes gazing up at her in confusion. The traces of sorrowful tears on her face had been wiped away, and her stern expression was one of unquestionable determination. He slowly stood up, holding onto the wall, and the look in her eyes made her confirm, confirm that she had heard correctly. "Go back home, don't stay here anymore. It was a mistake for you to come to Paris." She looked straight into his eyes and spoke word by word, not giving him any room for hesitation. Luo Hao frowned, and this time he was really irritated by her: "Whether it was a mistake for me to come to Paris is not for you to define, and I don't need you to give me advice on my life! Even my parents promised to give me two years to make my own choice. You are not qualified to make decisions for me." The eyes they stared at each other were in a contest, as if whoever was not fierce enough would lose. Yu Jinnan spoke with equal ruthlessness, "In your current state, how can you still make free choices? If you want to survive, returning home is your only option. Just because you're in front of me every day doesn't mean I'll like you. How could I possibly like a man who lives in frustration, self-deprecating, and constantly resorts to decadent nitrous oxide? You're always presumptuous in trying to figure out my preferences, feigning maturity and affection. Luo Hao, don't be foolish. I can't possibly fall in love with you." Yu Jinnan's words pierced Luo Hao's heart. He choked with pain, feeling like a mad blood-guzzling guillotine in his chest, twisting and thrashing. He felt like nothing more than a withered shell, its interior covered in bloody scars. "Go away," he uttered, yet it had already drained all his strength. He slumped against the thin bed...

Luo Hao stammered, trying to salvage the situation even a little: "I, I only smoked twice, both times at Qu Qiaoqiao's private parties. I felt very miserable at those times. I didn't like her, and I didn't want to fit in with her circle. But I'm nothing in Paris. My career is a mess, I don't have any friends around me, and even you ignore me. I live like a loser every day, and no one recognizes me. I originally wanted to come to Paris and work hard to become the person you would like, but I feel that I am becoming less and less worthy, unworthy of you..."

His body slid slowly down the cold wall, his head buried between his knees, his hands covering his head, trying to hide his shame. But his suppressed sobs betrayed his vulnerability. The purple scar between his white fingers stung even more in Yu Jinnan's eyes.

She took a step forward and wanted to squat down and hug him, but she hesitated. She couldn't let him sink like this any longer.

"Luo Hao, you should go back to your country." She said firmly.

He suddenly raised his head, his red eyes looking up at her in confusion. The traces of sorrowful tears on her face had been wiped away, and her cold expression was one of unquestionable determination.

He slowly stood up with the help of the wall, staring at him to confirm that he had not heard wrongly.

"Go back home and don't stay here anymore. It was a mistake for you to come to Paris." She looked straight into his eyes and spoke word by word, leaving him no room for hesitation.

Luo Hao frowned, truly irritated by her this time. "Whether or not I made a mistake coming to Paris is not for you to decide, and I don't need you to give me advice on my life! Even my parents promised to give me two years to make my own choice. You have no right to make the decision for me."

The eyes they looked at each other were in a contest, and it seemed that whoever was not fierce enough would lose.

Yu Jinnan said mercilessly, "How can you make free choices in your current state? If you want to live well, returning to China is your only way out. I won't like you just because you appear before me every day. How could I possibly like a man who lives in frustration every day, depreciates himself, and often acts decadently to inhale nitrous oxide? You always presumptuously speculate on my preferences, pretending to be mature and affectionate. Luo Hao, don't be silly, I can't fall in love with you."

Yu Jinnan's words tore at Luo Hao's heart. He suffocated with pain, feeling as if a mad blood-guzzling guillotine was thrashing and twisting inside his chest. He felt like he was nothing more than a withered shell, covered in bloody scars.

"Go away." He only managed to utter these words, but they had already exhausted all his strength. He slumped down on the thin bed, looking incredibly emaciated and tragic.

Yu Jinnan didn't leave immediately. She pulled an empty cloth bag from the ground and stuffed all the nitrous oxide cans on the table into it. She then rummaged through all his cabinets and wardrobes, checking every corner to make sure nothing had slipped through.

She tied the mouth of the cloth bag tightly, and then said to him: "I will help you deal with these things, and you are never allowed to touch them again. You will be returning home this week, and leave any unresolved matters in Paris to me. As long as you are willing to return home and never come back, just tell me, I will agree to any conditions." The last sentence seemed to have exhausted all her strength, and her words were confusing, but she knew that he understood her.

Luo Hao raised his head and snorted coldly, the smile on his lips tinged with frivolity, "Any conditions are acceptable?"

Jinnan looked at him seriously and said, "Yes, as long as I can do it."

Luo Hao suddenly developed an inappropriately cynical air. He folded his arms, stared at her appraisingly, and said, "Then I'll have to think about it carefully. How about you treat me to dinner tomorrow, like we did at Caprice Restaurant in Hong Kong that year? I'll announce my terms then."

"Okay, I'll send you the restaurant address tomorrow at noon." Yu Jinnan's eyes were firm. He clenched the clanging cloth bag and walked away resolutely.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was difficult to get a table at the restaurant along the Champs-Élysées, and Yu Jinnan had to go through some trouble to get one. She arrived early and waited for a long time before she saw Luo Hao approaching from a distance. He was dressed too casually and sat down across from her with a lingering smile on his face, the same lingering smile he had when they parted yesterday.

Jinnan pushed the menu in his direction and said, "Order whatever you want."

The waiter came over to him and asked him what he liked. But he lazily said in French, "Give me a Coca-Cola."

Yu Jinnan and the waiter were stunned, pondering his words over and over again, thinking that his French was not good enough and he had said it wrong. He understood their thoughts and said it again in English: "Give me a Coca-Cola."

The waiter said embarrassedly that their restaurant did not have Coca-Cola, so he took out 20 euros from his wallet as a tip and said that there was some in the vending machine at the entrance of the restaurant and asked him to help buy it.

Yu Jinnan looked at him silently, but he didn't look at her the whole time. He looked out the window in a carefree manner.

The Coke arrived and the waiter handed it to him on a tray. He pulled open the pull ring and the "sizzle" sound was the only break in the suffocating silence between them.

"Can you tell me now? What are the conditions?" Jin Nan's voice was as deep as a rock in a sand pit.

Luo Hao turned and looked at her formally after hearing her unusual voice. She was completely makeup-free today, her pale face looking haggard, her eyes slightly puffy, and dark circles beneath them. She wasn't wearing her usual sexy, flamboyant dress, but rather a beige shirt and leaden straight-leg pants. She looked like she'd been brutally worn down by time.

He couldn't bear to see her like this, so he gulped down two big gulps of Coke, then turned his head to look out the window, but his previous nonchalant look was gone.

"Luo Hao, what conditions do you need to return to China? You must give me an answer today and you can't go back on your word." Yu Jinnan asked him again.

He knew he couldn't escape, and there was nowhere to hide, so he deliberately raised his chin and said lightly, "Why don't you break up with that blond hair? These are my conditions."

Yu Jinnan looked him straight in the eye, wanting to make sure he wasn't joking. Luo Hao returned her serious look, signaling her to accept the challenge if she dared.

Yu Jinnan picked up her cell phone, dialed her current boyfriend's number, and broke up with him in French. Of course, he was very angry. The two of them simply recounted the many dissatisfactions that had accumulated in each other's hearts, and finally parted ways decently.

She threw the call log screen on her phone onto the dining table and said, "We're done. Is that okay now?"

Luo Hao's face didn't show satisfaction, but instead it showed more mockery. He snorted and said, "You really treat feelings like a joke."

Yu Jinnan could no longer suppress his inner anger, and he clenched his fists on the table and questioned him: "What do you want?"

"I have one more condition." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Returning to China is such a big deal, one condition alone is not enough. But I won't cheat you. This is my last condition. We won't see each other anymore anyway, so just give me what I want."

"What are the conditions?" Yu Jinnan asked, staring into his eyes.

Luo Hao flinched for a moment under her intimidating gaze, but then he tried to be fierce again and said, "Go to bed with me, for the last time. Serve me well, and I'll leave immediately."

Jin Nan's face seemed to be frozen immediately, turning from pale to ashen blue. Her chest heaved violently, and tears came out of the corners of her eyes, but she tried her best to hold back the tears from falling.

Seeing her like this, Luo Hao felt the pain in his heart surge into his throat, choking him so much that he couldn't speak. The pain plunged into his heart again, slowly spreading through his body like a rapidly gathering spider web. At that moment, he actually hoped she would refuse. He hoped she would slap him again, then throw the plates and forks in front of her at him, and tell him to get out, to die.

But she didn't.

She calmed herself down again, her voice trembling a little as she was about to speak. She clenched her fists again, raised her head and looked at him and said, "Okay, I promise you."

His eyes flashed with fear, astonishment, and finally dejection. He took two more sips of Coke and found that even the sweet water tasted bitter.

Jin Nan softened her tone, her sad eyes slowly falling on him, "Luo Hao, no matter what conditions you say, no matter how many conditions you give, I will agree to them today. As long as you can return home and live a good life. I—" She choked up and lowered her eyes, not wanting to reveal her sadness too much, "I didn't sleep all night last night, I kept crying. I regret it so much, I regret that when we first met two years ago, I let you into my apartment, let you apply medicine on me, let you kiss me, and go to bed with me."