Chapter 112 Why [VIP]

Chapter Summary: Because I love you. And love doesn't follow logic.

I heard warm breath in my ear.

For a moment, Fu Xianyin even felt as if she had returned to last night.

Her earlobe was being gently bitten, the teeth grinding against each other, her nerves were being frantically stimulated.

She felt a numbness spreading from her heart to her fingertips.

"You..." Her voice changed the moment she opened her mouth, as if she was barely managing to keep her tone steady.

"When did you wake up... ouch!"

The moment she asked the question, she felt Gu Linzhao bite her hard.

For a moment, Fu Xianyin even wondered if her ears would bleed.

She frowned and scolded, "Are you a dog? Why are you biting people?"

A soft laugh came from behind me.

Gu Linzhao pressed on her waist.

His pressure was just right, hitting her most sensitive spot.

Fu Xianyin felt her bones go limp; she could no longer maintain her fierce tone, and she didn't even dare to speak, afraid that her incoherent words would betray her body.

Gu Linzhao said, "Who bit me last night? Now they're turning their backs on me and even saying I was born in the Year of the Dog."

"Fu the Little Dog".

He rubbed her waist and whispered.

Fu Xianyin protested: "Cats bite too."

She didn't want to be a dog.

Gu Linzhao changed his tune very quickly.

"Fu Xiaomao".

Fu Xianyin fell silent.

Over the years, she has drunk alcohol quite a few times. When she was in a bad mood, she would drown her sorrows in alcohol, and there were times when she drank so much with friends at home that she would fall asleep immediately.

No matter how much she drank, her memory of the next day was always clear.

She won't black out.

Moreover, the alcohol I drank last night was not enough to cause me to black out.

All the memories surfaced clearly in her mind.

The kiss on the terrace, the ambiguous words in the elevator, and in the room, she pulled Gu Linzhao along, murmuring as if she were going all out, saying she was drunk.

Fu Xianyin felt her ears burning.

No, not just the ears.

The thought of everything that happened last night made her feel like she was on fire.

She struggled to get up, but the hand on her waist exerted a little force and pressed her back into the blankets.

Her already sore muscles started to ache again from the movement, and Fu Xianyin hissed in pain, her anger rising as well.

What are you doing?

She asked.

Her tone was somewhat displeased, but Gu Linzhao seemed not to understand, his hand still on her waist, his voice carrying the languidness of someone who had just woken up.

“I’m not letting you leave,” he said. “Can’t you see that?”

"You think you can just pat your butt and leave after you've finished sleeping? Fu Xianyin, if I hadn't woken up, would you have run away without a word again?"

"You fled to the United States before, so where do you plan to flee to this time?"

"Beichuan, Linlan, or should we just change our tickets and go back earlier?"

Fu Xianyin did not speak.

Gu Linzhao's every word perfectly captured her intentions.

She opened her mouth, her voice weak as she tried to explain: "We're all adults..."

My neck was pinched lightly.

"An adult?" Gu Linzhao's voice was casual yet tinged with coldness: "What about six years ago?"

I also turned eighteen six years ago.

Fu Xianyin silently swallowed those words.

She couldn't say anything in response.

Gu Linzhao's words were like a fatal blow, shutting down all her possible excuses.

Everything that happened six years ago was something she couldn't face him about.

The pressure on my waist suddenly eased.

Fu Xianyin pulled at the blanket and struggled to get up. Every muscle in her body ached. She didn't like exercising to begin with, and after all that commotion last night, her bones felt like they were about to fall apart.

She was wearing a loose-fitting T-shirt, the size of which clearly indicated whose clothes it was.

The person beside him also got up from the bed. Gu Linzhao didn't say anything and turned to go to the bathroom.

The sound of rushing water came from the bathroom, and Fu Xianyin leaned against the headboard as if all her strength had left her.

Covered in ambiguous marks, Fu Xianyin gave a curt, emotionless smile.

After all these years, Gu Linzhao really understands her.

With just a few words, he imprisoned her in place, as if locking her in place.

The sound of water was constant.

Fu Xianyin sat on the bed and turned her head to look out the window.

It snowed heavily last night, and now there's a thick layer of snow on the terrace outside the room.

She just stared blankly at the direction of the terrace.

She only came to her senses when the sound of water stopped.

Gu Linzhao walked out of the bathroom wearing only a loose bathrobe.

Water droplets still clung to the ends of his hair, landing on the collar of his bathrobe and slowly spreading into tiny watermarks.

Fu Xianyin couldn't take her eyes off him.

The mouth may lie, but the heart is honest.

The eyes... too.

If it weren't for what happened last night, and if Gu Linzhao hadn't just casually said a few cold words to her, she wouldn't have been able to have gotten away with it.

Fu Xianyin even suspected that Gu Linzhao was seducing her.

Seemingly noticing her gaze, the man lifted his eyelids and glanced in their direction, his tone light: "Quite obedient."

He said, "I thought that after I let go, you would just leave without stopping."

Fu Xianyin pursed her lips and remained silent.

Gu Linzhao wasn't in a hurry. He leaned against the wall, raised an eyebrow at her, and after a long while asked:

"Don't you have anything to say to me?"

After they reunited, they kissed and slept together.

This was the first time he had talked about the past.

Fu Xianyin opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, she saw Gu Linzhao take two steps toward her, then bend down and peck her lips.

The already taut nerves snapped completely.

Fu Xianyin felt like her brain had turned into a complete mess.

I'm not interrogating her, how did we end up getting married?

Before she could react, her chin was pinched, and her lips were covered with warmth again.

Gu Linzhao kissed her two or three times in succession, all of them gentle and not intense.

Just as their lips were about to touch again, Fu Xianyin turned her head away, avoiding the kiss.

Her breathing was slightly erratic, and strands of hair fell down her cheeks.

She knew what Gu Linzhao was doing.

He was forcing her to admit that she still liked him.

She still has feelings for him.

He didn't wait for her to say it, so he did it himself.

One after another.

The body doesn't lie.

Fu Xianyin turned her head, her eyelashes trembling slightly.

She looked into those eyes, almost as if she had given up entirely: "Even now, what else do you want to ask?"

Gu Linzhao said, "I don't want to ask, I want you to tell me yourself."

"thing."

Fu Xianyin said.

But things didn't go as he wished.

Gu Linzhao seemed to have guessed that she wouldn't speak so easily, and sighed, saying, "Fu Xianyin, I can't do anything about you in this lifetime."

"How about we switch? You ask me, okay?"

Things just suddenly turned out this way, I don't know how.

He was the one interrogating her, demanding that she tell the truth.

But somehow it became her asking him.

Fu Xianyin asked, "What have you been doing for the past six years?"

Her questions were broad, more out of curiosity or inquiry than to appease Gu Linzhao's request.

However, Gu Linzhao still answered.

"Go to university, start a business, run projects, and run a company."

After he finished speaking, he added, "I've never been in a relationship, never."

"for……"

Fu Xianyin subconsciously wanted to ask why, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she suddenly realized what she had said.

Now that things have come to this, why bother asking for an answer?

The answer was already laid bare before her, but she simply refused to look at it.

I didn't dare to listen.

Gu Linzhao noticed her hesitation and sudden stop. He lowered his eyes and said, "Why aren't you asking anymore? Is it because you don't want to hear it, or because you're afraid to hear it?"

Now, things have come to this point.

Fu Xianyin gritted her teeth and looked up at him.

What is there to be afraid of?

She said, "I can guess the answer."

Gu Linzhao was not satisfied: "What you guess and what you say in person are two different things."

"I brought it up myself, instead of you asking first and then I talking."

"That's a different matter."

Fu Xianyin was rendered speechless by him.

She took a deep breath, stared at him, and asked, "Then why?"

"Why don't you date? Why do you never date? Why do you act so familiar with me when you see me, as if those six years never happened between us?"

"Why do you still indulge me? Why do you still kiss me and sleep with me?"

"Why...don't you hate me?"

She almost forced herself to look directly into Gu Linzhao's eyes.

I forced myself to face everything.

The man looked at her.

Her eyes were deep and unfathomable, like a bottomless well that seemed to want to swallow her whole.

Fu Xianyin's shoulders trembled slightly.

After a while, she saw Gu Linzhao's thin lips open and close, and his clear and gentle voice entered her ears.

He said, "I hated you."

The lump in my throat could no longer be held back.

Fu Xianyin's eyes reddened, and she bit the soft flesh in her mouth until she tasted blood before she stopped.

She heard him say:

"I hate you for being able to walk away so cleanly, without even leaving me a single word."

The rainstorm that day came suddenly and caught everyone off guard.

On the way to No. 13 Middle School, Gu Linzhao kept thinking about whether she had brought an umbrella and whether she would get wet.

He reminded her last night to bring an umbrella today, as the weather forecast predicted rain.

She will probably bring it.

But Gu Linzhao felt no sense of relief whatsoever.

An inexplicable anxiety overwhelmed him.

Gu Linzhao called it worry.

The entrance to No. 13 Middle School was very congested, and cars couldn't get in, so Gu Linzhao got out of the car two intersections away.

He ran over with an umbrella and stood at the entrance of No. 13 Middle School, separated by the crowd, but he still couldn't find that familiar figure.

The unease he could ignore could no longer be hidden away with a clear conscience.

Gu Linzhao took his phone, opened the pinned contact, and sent a message.

Gu Linzhao: [Have you come out yet?]

The moment the message was sent, my phone vibrated, and a bright red exclamation mark appeared.

Below that was a line of smaller print:

The message has been sent, but it was rejected by the recipient.

He couldn't even hold onto the umbrella in that instant, and the torrential rain quickly soaked him completely.

Gu Linzhao felt completely numb.

He stared at his phone screen for a long time until his numb fingertips finally regained some sensation, then he slowly squatted down and picked up the umbrella.

Then he stood at the door and continued to wait.

The heavy curtain of rain obstructed his view, so he stood in the nearest spot to the entrance of the science school and waited.

Surrounded by groups of parents, he stood out as the only one in his school uniform.

People would occasionally ask him what he was waiting for and why he hadn't gone in to take the exam yet.

Gu Linzhao didn't really remember what he said; he only remembered that he seemed to have said one thing to everyone:

"I'm waiting for my girlfriend."

"She's taking an exam here."

He didn't understand why Fu Xianyin would block and delete all his contact information.

So sudden, so ruthless, so merciless.

He didn't know why, even so, he still referred to her as his "girlfriend".

It's clear that she's dumped me now.

But he stubbornly believed that since she hadn't said "break up," it didn't count as a breakup.

After biology, geography came next. By the time the last subject was finished, the setting sun on the horizon had turned a dim yellow.

He tried calling Fu Xianyin several times, but none of the calls went through.

So he stood there and waited.

From dawn till dusk, from torrential rain to nightfall.

Fu Xianyin never appeared.

Why.

Gu Linzhao didn't understand.

Why did Fu Xianyin leave so silently? Why didn't she even say goodbye?

He would rather she had a big fight with him, yell at him, or at least tell him why.

He can change.

Whatever he dislikes about himself, he can actually change it.

He couldn't help but wonder if Fu Xianyin had never liked him at all, since she left so quietly.

Could it be that she's had enough and wants to get rid of him as soon as possible during the college entrance exam?

Panic and anxiety spread like an unstoppable plague within him.

The room was so quiet you could hear the wind outside the window.

Fu Xianyin heard Gu Linzhao say, "I hate you even more for not telling me anything."

My vision gradually blurred.

Fu Xianyin lowered her head and saw the water droplets on the carpet, which quickly spread and formed a water stain on the thick carpet surface.

“But Fu Xianyin,” he paused, his tone softening, his voice slightly hoarse, “I’m thinking again, you won’t tell me anything, you keep everything to yourself.”

"How did you get through that period?"

Tears welled up in her eyes instantly.

Fu Xianyin felt her shoulders shaking.

She didn't shed tears during the kiss, she didn't shed tears during the confrontation, and she didn't even cry like this last night when their skin was touching and they were enjoying pleasure.

She couldn't control her emotions, she couldn't control her breathing.

She could only feel large tears falling, almost engulfing her completely.

My chin was gently lifted up.

A warm hand wiped away her tears.

Fu Xianyin looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears.

She thought he might hate her.

He should hate her too.

I hate her for toying with my feelings, and I resent her for leaving without saying goodbye.

But she never considered that all these years, he had been thinking about whether she would be very sad.

Overwhelmed by tears, Fu Xianyin could only bite her lip repeatedly, murmuring, "Why, Gu Linzhao, why?"

"Because I like you."

“Or rather,” he said, “he wanted her to look up at him, lifting her chin so that she could meet his gaze.”

"because I love you."

"But love is irrational."

The four seasons: spring, summer, autumn, and winter.

Day and night alternate, the sun rises and sets, spring brings vibrant life, and winter brings snow-covered landscapes.

All things grow and perish, in a cycle that repeats itself.

But love is irrational.

Love is simply love.

It's favoritism, it's uniqueness, it's putting you before me.

It is to transcend everything, to surpass all.

It is the decline of free will. [1]

[Author's Note]

[1] “Love is the fall of free will”, which comes from the 2019 Chinese Debate Friends Competition.

When I typed the sentence, "Because I love you, and love is irrational," I suddenly felt a genuine sense of relief for Yinyin.

I wrote over 400,000 words, the vast majority of which are about how Yinyin struggles in relationships, family ties, and herself.

And now, a naked love is placed before her.

Love gives us confidence; love gives us hope.

Being loved and having love are both very happy things.