Unbearable to recall

The white pebble engraved with the word "Sequence Gap" lay quietly on the coffee table, like a boulder thrown into a calm lake, stirring up towering waves in the hearts of the two.

The living room was so quiet you could hear the dust settling.

Shi Xu remained bent over, his gaze fixed intently on the stone, as if trying to see through it. The color hadn't returned to his face, and his tightly pressed lips revealed an almost fragile pallor. Yunxi could feel that the hand he held hers was icy cold at the fingertips, and he was struggling to suppress a slight tremor.

This reaction far exceeded Yunxi's expectations. She had thought it would be a warm moment of reminiscing about the past, but she never imagined it would bring such a huge shock and... pain to Shixu?

"Shixu?" she called him softly with concern, placing her other hand on the cold back of his hand, trying to convey some warmth. "Are you alright?"

Shi Xu abruptly closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and when he opened them again, he had forcibly suppressed most of the intense emotions surging in his eyes, but the deep pain could not be completely hidden. He straightened up, but did not let go of her hand; instead, he held it even tighter, as if she were his only piece of driftwood in the raging waves.

“I…” he began, his voice still terribly hoarse, “I just… didn’t expect it to still be here.”

His gaze returned to the stones, filled with an almost greedy appreciation, yet mixed with indescribable complex emotions.

“That day, it took me a long time to find the roundest and smoothest stone by the river.” He was lost in memories, speaking slowly, each word carrying the weight of time. “When I was carving the words with a knife, I cut my hand several times… You were right next to me, blowing on it and saying, ‘Brother Xiaoxu, it doesn’t hurt.’”

As he spoke, a small, bitter smile forced a across his lips. The purer and more beautiful that memory was, the more cruel it seemed in contrast to the long separation and agonizing search that followed.

Yunxi's heart clenched tightly. She could imagine the scene and feel the heavy emotion in his words. She picked up the pebble and carefully placed it in his palm.

“Now, it’s back in your hands.” She looked at him, her eyes gentle yet firm, “just like you found me.”

The cool touch of the pebble on his palm contrasted strangely with the fervent warmth in her voice. Shi Xu curled his fingers, gripping the pebble tightly; the sharp edges digging into his skin brought a distinct pain, yet strangely, it calmed his chaotic thoughts somewhat.

He raised his head and gazed intently into the gap in the clouds, as if trying to etch her image into the depths of his soul.

"Hmm." He responded softly, a thousand words stuck in his throat, ultimately turning into a single heavy syllable.

However, in the brief moment when her emotions had calmed down, Yunxi's attention was drawn to the notebook wrapped in kraft paper inside the box. She remembered her grandmother saying that her mother had jotted down some things about her childhood in it.

Perhaps... there are more records about "Brother Xiaoxu" here? It could help her understand him better back then, and also... soothe some of his obvious pain at this moment.

She released Shixu's hand and picked up the notebook. The notebook was old, with worn edges, and exuded a faint smell of paper and time.

“This is a book my mother used to keep,” Yunxi explained, flipping it open with a hint of anticipation. “Grandma said it mentioned you.”

Shi Xu's body tensed almost imperceptibly again. The nerves that had just relaxed slightly because of the pebble were instantly drawn back to their full tension. The photograph and the pebble were direct physical evidence, but words... words might carry more, more detailed information, details he might have forgotten or blurred by time. He leaned forward subconsciously, his gaze following the fingers that moved through the clouds.

The first few pages were filled with trivial daily records, anecdotes from Yunxi's childhood, and worries when she was sick... until Yunxi turned to a certain page and her finger stopped.

The date on that page was blurry, and the handwriting was a bit messier than the previous pages, seemingly recording something that had troubled the mother.

"...Xiaoxi came back from outside today, and she wasn't in a good mood. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that her brother Xiaoxu seemed to be leaving, and she was very sad. When I asked her why he was leaving, she couldn't say for sure. She only said that she heard his family arguing, mentioning 'he has to leave,' 'everything is arranged over there,' and something about 'illness'? The child didn't hear everything, but it's probably because Xiaoxu's mother isn't feeling well and has to be transferred to a better hospital for treatment. Sigh, it's really tough on the child... Xiaoxi cried for a long time, and then she gave me her favorite wooden bird that she had hidden away, asking me to give it to Xiaoxu if I had the chance, and to tell him not to forget her..."

Yunxi stopped abruptly when she read this part.

She suddenly looked up at Shi Xu.

Wooden bird!

So that little wooden bird she treasured, which her mother then passed on to her, was given away under these circumstances! It was when she learned he might be leaving! It was an awkward promise, an attempt to hold him back!

Almost simultaneously, Shi Xu's expression changed drastically, becoming even more horrifying than when he had seen the pebble. If the pebble had primarily stirred up emotional turmoil, then this passage was like a poisoned dagger, precisely piercing the darkest, most untouchable taboo of his memory!

"Over there," "It's all arranged," "Illness"...

These fragmented words, when pieced together in his mind, did not conjure up the heartwarming scene of his mother being transferred to another hospital for treatment, but rather his father's cruel arrangements, his mother's increasingly haggard face, the helplessness and despair of being forced to leave her familiar surroundings and that little girl, and... the prelude to all the tragedies that followed!

This passage ruthlessly tears open the scars he had carefully concealed, revealing the raw, bloody truth that was inextricably linked to his later reincarnation!

He stumbled back a step, bumping into the sofa armrest behind him with a dull thud. His breathing quickened, his chest heaved, and the look in his eyes as he stared at the notebook was no longer one of cherishing, but filled with something almost...fear.

"Stop looking!" His voice carried a panic that Yunxi had never heard before, a panic that was almost out of control.

He snatched the notebook from Yunxi's hand with such force that he almost tore the pages apart. Without even glancing at it, he slammed it shut and stuffed it back into the cardboard box, as if it contained a man-eating demon.

"Time sequence?!" Yunxi was stunned by his sudden and intense reaction, and stood up in fright.

Shi Xu stood with his back to her, his hands clenched into fists, his shoulders trembling slightly as he suppressed immense emotions. With great effort, he managed to squeeze out a few words through gritted teeth: "...Some things in the past are not worth remembering."

After saying that, he practically fled, without even glancing at Yunxi again, nor taking the pebble he had just been clutching in his hand. He staggered quickly toward the door, opened it, and his figure disappeared swiftly into the stairwell.

With a soft "bang," the door closed.

Yunxi was the only one left in the living room, standing there blankly, staring at the empty doorway, then at the lone white pebble on the coffee table, and the cardboard box that Shixu had hastily stuffed back in.

The warmth and resonance of the previous second seemed to be just an illusion.

A profound sense of loss and deeper confusion overwhelmed her. She couldn't understand why a seemingly ordinary account of parting would provoke such a violent, almost fearful reaction from him.

What is hidden in that notebook?

Was he merely trying to escape separation?

Or is it that behind that seemingly simple story of "Shixu's mother falling ill and leaving" lies a heavier, darker truth that even he cannot face?

The past and present, which had just been connected by the pebble, seemed to be forcibly separated by a new and deeper crack at this moment.

Beneath the crack lies a bottomless darkness.