Chapter 162 Apologies and gratitude

After lunch, the palace servants came in and cleaned up the mess.

Yin'e took the Consort's hand and they went for a walk in the small garden in the backyard to aid digestion.

The late February sun shone warmly and brightly. After spring returned to the earth, the small garden shed its winter desolation and was covered with a vibrant green. Looking around, the entire garden was full of life, swaying gracefully in the spring breeze, brimming with vitality.

Yin'e and the Imperial Concubine strolled hand in hand in the small garden. Lanzhi, Luyi, Xiaolinzi, and others followed at a distance, not getting too close, allowing the mother and son to enjoy this moment of reunion, spend more time together, and whisper secrets in private.

"Mother, tell me about Aunt," Yin'e suddenly said after walking for a while.

Consort Gui would grieve and feel sad every year on the anniversary of Empress Xiaozhao's death and birthday. Yin'e knew that this was a knot in Consort Gui's heart. If he could not untie it, even if he could rush back to Yongshou Palace today and pull Consort Gui out of the small Buddhist hall and help her get rid of the emotions of remembrance, there would always be a time in the future when he would not be able to make it in time.

She paused for a moment, and after a long silence, the imperial concubine said in a low voice, "Actually, I don't remember very clearly."

Empress Xiaozhao entered the palace in the fourth year of the Kangxi Emperor's reign. She was only thirteen years old when she entered the palace. The Imperial Concubine was an innocent and carefree little girl, only five or six years old, far from being old enough to understand things.

When Consort Gui was a child, Ebilun was still alive. With her father, who had distinguished military achievements and held a high position, to rely on, and her Manchu aunt, who was always respected and valued, Consort Gui was very lively and cheerful as a child. She often went out to ride horses, drink tea, and listen to storytelling. She was far from being as gentle, calm, and serene as she is now, with the patience to stay indoors all the time.

When Empress Xiaozhao left home, the young Consort Gui, who was not yet old enough to understand, did not know where her sister was going, nor did she know that once her sister entered the palace, it would be difficult for her to return home. Once you enter the palace, it is like entering a deep sea. There is no such thing as returning home for concubines. If they want to see their families, they have to ask for the Emperor's grace.

At that time, the imperial concubine was unaware of the power struggle between the royal family and the four regents, and did not understand the sharp conflict between Aobai and Suksaha, the fact that Ebilun and Aobai were in the same banner and had formed a faction. As a veteran minister of four reigns, Sony was unable to mediate the conflict between the regents and was powerless to balance the situation in the court. He could only repeatedly request the young emperor to take over the reins of government.

In the fourth year of the Kangxi Emperor's reign, in order to further win over Sony, the only one among the four regents who advocated for the young emperor to rule personally, the Kangxi Emperor married Sony's granddaughter as his empress. Empress Xiaozhao, as the daughter of Ebilun and the adopted daughter of Oboi, was selected to enter the palace as a pawn to appease Oboi and balance the court.

After Sony's death in the sixth year of Kangxi's reign, Oboi seized the opportunity to fabricate charges and unjustly kill Suksaha. Of the four regents, only Oboi and Ebilun, who were from the same banner, remained. At this time, Kangxi, who had ascended the throne at the age of eight, had grown up and reached the age to rule in his own right. The conflict between the imperial family and the remaining two regents intensified.

In the end, the royal family won, the young emperor successfully assumed power, and reclaimed the imperial authority that belonged to him.

Afterwards, Ao Bai was punished, imprisoned and convicted, and eventually died in prison. Ebilun, who had formed a faction with Ao Bai, was also impeached, stripped of his position as Grand Tutor, stripped of his hereditary title for military merit, imprisoned and sentenced to death, and the Niohuru family fell into silence for a time.

The Imperial Concubine was unaware of the efforts her elder sister, far away in the palace, had made. She only knew that after Empress Hesheli passed away, her sister was made Empress in the sixteenth year of the Kangxi Emperor's reign and petitioned the Emperor to establish a family temple for her father, Ebilun.

Then, in the second year after being made empress, Empress Xiaozhao passed away, without having the chance to see her father's ancestral temple completed, nor to see Emperor Kangxi personally write the inscription in front of Ebilun's ancestral temple.

Emperor Kangxi likely had some affection for his second empress, Empress Xiaozhao. He admired her virtue and virtuous character, and appreciated her cultural refinement. Grateful for her years of service in the palace, after Empress Xiaozhao's death, he granted her the same scale of funeral as Empress Heseri.

When Empress Xiaozhao passed away, she had spent her childhood during the height of her father Ebilun's power, grew into a young girl during the period of silence when her father was stripped of his title and punished, and witnessed her family's resurgence due to her sister's favor. At seventeen, the Consort was at the perfect age.

Thus, the fate of the Imperial Concubine was decided. She became the second pawn in the Niohuru family's efforts to maintain kinship with the imperial family. After the three-year mourning period for Empress Xiaozhao ended, she entered the palace in the nineteenth year of the Kangxi Emperor's reign.

When Empress Xiaozhao left home, Consort Gui was too young. Later, when Empress Xiaozhao was in the palace, she didn't have many opportunities to see her sister. To this day, Consort Gui's memories of Empress Xiaozhao are very vague. She can't remember her sister's appearance, temperament, or preferences, nor can she remember what her sister looked like when she was young.

However, after entering the palace, every day spent there, in the repetitive and seemingly hopeless days, the Consort could deeply feel how much suffering Empress Xiaozhao had endured back then.

However, the Imperial Concubine entered the palace too late, and the palace staff changed too quickly, so many things that happened in the palace in the early years have disappeared and cannot be found.

The Imperial Concubine did not know how her sister survived until the sixteenth year of the Kangxi Emperor's reign after her father, Ebilun, was imprisoned and convicted. She did not know how her sister persuaded the Kangxi Emperor to agree to build a family temple for their father. She also did not know why her sister died in the second year after becoming empress.

When Consort Gui was a child, her protector was her father, Ebilun, who was a regent minister. However, during the years when Aobai was killed and Ebilun was stripped of his title and imprisoned, when the Niohuru family was filled with unease and turmoil, the protector was actually Empress Xiaozhao.

In order to maintain the relationship between her family and the royal family, the Imperial Concubine entered the palace to repay the Niohuru family for their kindness in raising her.

However, the Consort could not repay her sister's kindness and the protection she had given her. She found that she could not do anything for her sister, and could not even find out about Empress Xiaozhao's situation back then, or what she had experienced. She felt sad for her sister.

She could offer nothing in return. After entering the palace, the Imperial Concubine discovered that she could do nothing for her sister.

The Imperial Concubine didn't actually believe in gods or Buddhas. She knew that praying to them was pointless and wouldn't make her sister, who had suffered so much in the past, any better. The only purpose of her actions was to put her mind at ease and offer herself some psychological comfort.

As the Imperial Concubine silently reminisced about the past, Yin'e simply stayed by her side quietly, without disturbing her thoughts.

After the Imperial Concubine let out a long sigh, Yin'e, who was holding her hand, raised his head and looked up at her with his small face, asking in a very soft voice, "Mother, you don't actually want to go to the palace, do you?"

"No." To Yin'e's surprise, the Imperial Concubine shook her head and denied his question.

Without going to see Yin'e, the Consort Gui, recalling her past experiences entering the palace, remained calm and indifferent, saying, "I had no reason to refuse."

But similarly, no one was willing.

From the very beginning, when it came to entering the palace, the Imperial Concubine had no right to say whether she wanted to or not, nor did she have any choice.

Compared to Han Chinese, Manchu women were extremely pampered and respected at home. However, even so, most Manchu women were unable to make any decisions about their own lives and could only drift along with the tide, unable to control their own destiny.

When she entered the palace, the Imperial Concubine was certainly saddened, but she had no choice and no way to resist the fate her family had decided for her. Now, she has come to terms with what happened back then, but she hasn't forgiven it; she has simply let it go.

Consort Gui had a happy childhood, with abundant material resources and spiritual nourishment. During her adolescence, her father was stripped of his title and imprisoned, and the Niohuru family was in turmoil. In the midst of the crisis, she grew up quickly and gradually became stronger after much thought and reflection.

Her childhood and adolescence awakened the concubine's self-awareness; she had her own likes and dislikes, her own ideal world, and her own expectations for the future.

This is precisely the root of the Consort's suffering. After entering the palace, she could no longer see the outside world. Her original desires were suppressed by the era she lived in, and she could only give up her true self, forget her desires, and live a numb life in the palace.

After patting Yin'e's head, the Imperial Concubine turned her thoughts to two other people who shared the same situation and similar experiences as her. She sighed softly, "I don't know if Consort Chuxiu and the second young lady of the Tong family are willing to enter the palace, but in any case, they are just like me, with no choice at all."

Consort Chuxiu was the younger sister of Empress Yuan, Hesheli. Empress Yuan died in childbirth while giving birth to Crown Prince Yinreng. At that time, the Hesheli family had no daughters of marriageable age. In order to sever the connection between the Hesheli family and the royal family, Consort Chuxiu, who was only ten years old, entered the palace in the nineteenth year of the Kangxi Emperor's reign and waited in the palace for a year.

When Consort Chuxiu entered the palace, she was too young to be officially conferred a title or to serve the emperor. Initially, she only enjoyed the treatment of a Noble Lady. Later, Emperor Kangxi bestowed titles upon the harem, and she was granted the treatment of a Consort, but without a title, she was simply called Consort Chuxiu.

The Crown Prince did not like Consort Chuxiu, and she herself was not favored by Emperor Kangxi, unlike her sister, Empress Yuan, who was respected by Emperor Kangxi and able to gain power and status for her family.

Consort Chuxiu, who entered the palace carrying the expectations of her family, failed to meet those expectations. Over the years, as the Crown Prince's position became secure, Hesheli also established connections with him, and Suo'etu was trusted and relied upon by the Crown Prince. As a result, Consort Chuxiu was gradually abandoned by her family and lost their support.

Like Consort Chuxiu and Consort Niohuru, the second young lady of the Tong family was chosen by her family to be sent to the palace in order to maintain ties with the royal family.

However, the Tong family's behavior has been widely criticized, which has also affected the reputation of Miss Tong.

The reason for this was that only the Tong family among the three had chosen a successor before their daughter passed away. In order to keep the wealth within the family, the Tong family deliberately kept their second daughter, Miss Tong, unmarried until she was old.

When Empress Xiaoyi was still a Noble Consort, her health deteriorated after the loss of her youngest daughter, and she was bedridden for many years.

At that time, Miss Tong was of marriageable age, but the Tong family probably felt that the Imperial Noble Consort would not last long. In order not to sever the Tong family's relationship with the royal family, they planned to send Miss Tong into the palace to be the successor of the Imperial Noble Consort. They delayed arranging a marriage for Miss Tong and dragged it out until she was over twenty years old.

Even though Manchu women marry late, it is indeed rare for them to remain in their boudoirs until they are twenty-three or twenty-four years old.

Anyone with eyes can see clearly what the Tong family is up to, and can't help but sneer at them.

Everyone can understand that the Tong family wants to maintain ties with the royal family. The Hesheli and Niohuru clans did the same thing. Everyone is the same, so it's not a case of the eldest brother laughing at the second brother.

But the Imperial Noble Consort was still alive at that time, and the Tong family had already chosen a successor, even keeping Miss Tong in her twenties, unwilling to marry. Wasn't the Tong family clearly saying that they were waiting for the Imperial Noble Consort to die so they could send her to the palace?

The Tong family never considered what the sickly Imperial Concubine felt after losing her daughter, nor did they consider whether Miss Tong would be willing to waste her precious youth.

It's just that the main branch of the Tong family has no other daughters besides Miss Tong the Second, and they are unwilling to let the branch family benefit from her marriage, so they insist on keeping Miss Tong the Second from getting married.

The decision was made by the men of the Tong family, yet it was the women of the Tong family who wasted their youth serving in the palace. All the benefits went to the sons of the Tong family who held official positions in the court. Even if the daughters of the Tong family entered the palace, how much real benefit did they receive? And how much untold suffering did they endure within the palace?

The Imperial Concubine had been in the palace for ten years. To be honest, not counting her son Yin'e, she was not happy at all in the palace.

Life in the palace was not as good as people outside the Forbidden City imagined, especially for the concubines who were confined to the East and West Six Palaces. They were like frogs at the bottom of a well, only able to see a small patch of sky. Their days were pale and boring, with nothing to do every day. Those of lower rank were not even allowed to take a stroll in the Imperial Garden.

Grasping the Imperial Concubine's hand tightly, Yin'e suddenly whispered, "The beneficiaries are men."

The Qing Dynasty was a rigid and hierarchical society, and women were always at the bottom and the most oppressed.

During the Qing Dynasty, Manchus held a higher status than Han Chinese. However, Han men could still venture out and have the opportunity to strive and change their fate, while women had no right to make their own decisions and never had the power to choose their own lives.

The root cause of all this lies in the social environment of the times, not merely in the oppression of imperial power or the coercion of families. Humans cannot escape the limitations of their era; within such a social context, the more awake and self-aware one is, the more painful the experience.

Stopping in his tracks, Yin'e turned to the Imperial Concubine, looked her straight in the eye, and said earnestly, "Mother, I want to marry only one wife in the future."

Before the Imperial Concubine could speak, Yin'e spoke the words that had been lingering in his heart for years: "My mother told me that a marriage alliance between me and the Abahai tribe of Mongolia has been tentatively arranged. This matter has been reported to Father Khan, and he has promised to issue an edict to bestow the marriage upon us after I come of age."

"Although the marriage alliance with the Abahai tribe was arranged, I actually had no idea whether the Abahai Prince had any daughters of marriageable age, or which daughter would be chosen by the Khan to marry me."

“I don’t know who will be my future wife. But whenever I think about it, I feel guilty towards her. It was my selfishness that led to her fate being decided so early, it was my choice that deprived her of the right to control her own life, I… I feel ashamed towards her!”

Looking down at Yin'e, whose expression was downcast and deeply ashamed, the Consort's lips moved slightly, tears welling in her eyes. Suddenly, she knelt down and embraced Yin'e, her voice low and suppressed with a hint of sobs as she said, "I know... I understand, it is we, mother and son, who have wronged her."

The imperial concubine also felt guilty.

Back then, faced with the interests of the Niohuru family, the Imperial Concubine had no choice but to resign herself to her family's arrangement and enter the palace.

Now, in order for her son to escape the struggle for the throne and live a peaceful and uneventful life, she also left the little girl from the Abahai tribe with no choice but to be chosen as the Tenth Prince's Consort, to serve as a link in maintaining the Manchu-Mongol marriage alliance, and to marry far away from Mongolia to the capital when she grew up.

Do not do to others what you would not have them do to you. The concubine, with her strong sense of self, disliked having her fate controlled by others and having no choice in the matter. She despised herself for becoming the dragon after slaying it, and felt guilty and self-loathing for losing her original aspirations.

She closed her eyes, hot tears sliding down her cheeks. The Consort rested her head on Yin'e's shoulder, her sobs so soft they were almost inaudible: "Yin'e, your mother despises herself and feels guilty for what I've done. But your mother is so happy that you're willing to let out a sigh for your future wife."

Slightly hot, damp tears fell onto his neck. Yin'e buried his head in the Consort's arms and whispered, "I've also sighed for Mother, and I've also wanted Mother to be happy, and..."

I also thought that after Kangxi's death, I would take the Consort out of the palace to live with her, so that she would no longer be confined to a square courtyard where she could only see a small patch of sky above her head, so that she could live according to her own heart, live the life she wanted, and do the things she wanted to do.

However, Emperor Kangxi lived too long. If the current social environment could not be changed and Kangxi's rule could not be overthrown, then Yin'e's plan would not be able to be carried out, and he would not be able to take the Consort away to live the life he wanted.

Yin'e closed his eyes and gave a silent, bitter smile: "I can't disobey Father, nor can I change Mother's situation. I can only be nicer to my future wife, and even nicer to her, so that her life after marrying into the capital won't be so painful."

“We were the ones who dragged her down. It’s so unfair to her to make her suffer in the capital after marrying so far away. I feel really guilty.”

The Imperial Concubine gave a soft "hmm" and raised her hand to stroke Yin'e's head: "You're doing very well, your mother supports you."

"Your mother will find an opportunity to bring this up with your father. Don't worry, your mother will help you get the Empress Dowager and the Emperor's approval, and will not let them reprimand you for this matter, or arbitrarily assign you a wife and concubines without considering your feelings."

“No.” Yin’e shook his head sharply and said in a firm and serious tone, “Mother, you don’t need to talk to Father about this for me. I will fight for it with Father myself.”

Yin'e knew that Emperor Kangxi, accustomed to having multiple wives and concubines, would not understand his thoughts and would only think he was being ridiculous. But he didn't need Kangxi's understanding; he only needed Kangxi to grant his request, not to give him secondary wives and concubines, and not to cause him any trouble.

The Imperial Concubine has already entered the palace and is now the Emperor's concubine. Unless Yin'e can overthrow Kangxi's rule, he really has no way to change the Imperial Concubine's life. However, he can still contend with Kangxi to some extent with his own life and his future marriage.

Emperor Kangxi currently has thirteen living sons. He is in his prime, not yet forty, and the number of concubines in the harem is increasing every year. It is likely that he will give birth to many princes in the future.

Emperor Kangxi has no shortage of sons, and he probably won't lack grandsons in the future either. Even if Yin'e only marries one wife in the future, as long as he is willing, it's not a big deal. Emperor Kangxi won't care too much, and might even find it convenient, as he won't have to worry about assigning wives to his son's household while busy with state affairs.

Moreover, as the son of a Noble Consort and with an Empress as his aunt, Yin'e was of noble birth and posed a potential threat to the Crown Prince.

Yin'e only intended to marry one wife, which Emperor Kangxi might actually be happy about. He was unwilling to see Yin'e form a complex web of kinship ties with noble families through marriage.

Thinking of this, Yin'e couldn't help but sigh, realizing that his own motives weren't actually that simple.

He planned to marry only one wife, but not entirely for his future wife—after all, he didn't even know who his future wife was, let alone have met her. Part of his consideration was for his own sake, to protect himself and further distance himself from the struggle for the throne.

Yin'e cannot yet fully consider the future Fujin (wife of the emperor), but he is truly sincere towards the Imperial Concubine, wholeheartedly thinking of her and hoping she can be happy.

He grasped the Imperial Concubine's hand and said sincerely, "Mother, I'm telling you that I only plan to marry one wife in the future. It's not because I want your help, but because you are my mother, and you are the person I love the most."

“You love me, care about me, and worry about everything concerning me. I don’t want you to worry about me, so I want to tell you what choices I will make in the future and why I will do them; I want to tell you that I have made this decision very seriously and am determined to bear all the consequences.”

“Mother, you don’t need to worry about me or that I will regret it in the future. I dare not say that I will never regret it, but no matter what happens in the future, I will not regret the choice I made today.”

Raising his head, Yin'e's fair face was filled with an extremely serious expression, solemn and dignified. His wide-open almond-shaped eyes were clear and firm: "This is a decision I made myself, and I will bear the price I have to pay and the consequences I will face."

“Mother, I’ve grown up now, and it’s time for me to take responsibility for my own life. Only then can I be someone you can rely on!”

He would no longer let the Imperial Concubine clean up his messes; before, she had sheltered and protected him. From now on, it would be his turn to protect her.

The Imperial Concubine's heart softened like spring water, and she smiled through her tears. She lowered her head and touched her forehead to Yin'e's, but hot, glistening tears welled up in her eyes and slid down her cheeks, burning her heart.

After Yin'e was born, the Consort was always grateful to Heaven for giving her a son, which gave her a place to rely on and a source of emotional comfort in the deep palace.

Now, looking at Yin'e, who is still young but has grown up to be someone she can rely on, the Consort felt fortunate for the first time and realized that entering the palace wasn't so bad after all.

She hated the palace, hated that cage-like place. But it was also within the Forbidden City that she received the best son.

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Author's Note: Two chapters combined into one

I will try to update one chapter at noon and another at 6 pm tomorrow.