Chapter 118

Zhao Changde is a good teacher.

He wasn't the kind of scholar who spent all year at home studying. He traveled to many places when he was young, and gained even more experience after becoming an official.

He had been to and managed everything from the cold frontier to the humid south, from impoverished rural areas where taxes couldn't be paid to the wealthy Jiangzhe province.

His teachings are imbued with the gentleness and inclusiveness of many years of life experience, and what remains after decades of trials are all valuable insights.

Qin Su liked him very much. She wouldn't run around or move around during class; she would just listen attentively to his lectures and occasionally ask some questions.

Ye Yan, on the other hand, is not used to classical Chinese as a modern person. He hasn't been a student for many years, so he finds it difficult to concentrate on his studies and keeps glancing at Qin Su.

Even if Zhao Changde found out, he wouldn't scold him; he just thought it was normal for a child to be playful.

To make the class more interesting, he would tell short stories before class every day, hoping to inspire students' enthusiasm for learning.

When it was time for class, Zhao Changde was late. Qin Su found it strange and sent a palace servant to ask. The servant quickly returned and replied that Zhao Changde had been summoned by Emperor Jingxi to discuss state affairs on the way and would be taking a break today.

The sudden holiday left Qin Su and Ye Yan looking at each other in bewilderment, sitting at the table, unsure of what to do.

Qin Su put down the papers and books in her hands and asked Ye Yan, "If we don't have class, what are we going to do?"

Ye Yan thought for a moment and said, "When I entered the palace, I heard from the people in the Imperial Beast Garden that two new blue-eyed cats had been delivered. Would Your Highness like to go and see them?"

Qin Su's eyes lit up, and she said, "Since I have nothing else to do, let's go take a look."

She reached out her hand to Ye Yan, which meant she wanted a hug.

Six-year-old Ye Yan practices martial arts every day, and has grown very tall and strong. He can easily pick up the little girl who is two years younger than him and place her safely on the light sedan chair.

Palace servants around him secretly cast envious glances.

Princess Zhaoyang disliked walking, especially in autumn and winter when she was dressed in thick clothes. She would avoid walking if possible, and if there was a carriage, she would sit in it; if there was no carriage, she would be carried.

However, she was very picky about who she would hug. If Emperor Jingxi was present, he would be her first choice. If he was not present, she would choose someone else she was close to and trusted. If there was no suitable person, she would rather walk by herself.

Ye Yan only won the honor of being able to hold the little princess in the last two months, which made many palace servants envious and jealous.

The people at the Beast Taming Garden had already cleaned the cats when they heard that Princess Zhaoyang was coming.

The fluffy, snow-white kitten was placed in Ye Yan's arms. Qin Su reached out to touch it, and said with a little confusion, "This cat is so soft..."

The texture felt strangely familiar, like something I used to touch often.

The kitten was initially very shy, trembling and clinging to Ye Yan's arm, but as Qin Su petted it, it boldly raised its head and nudged Qin Su's hand with its nose.

A cat's nose has a peculiar feel; it's a little cool and a little moist, and it tickles when you touch it.

Qin Su's fingers trembled, and a scene suddenly flashed through her mind.

A cat hooked its fluffy tail around her wrist and said, "...Then let's choose this time. Qin Yu is Chu Congxia's father...Before Emperor Jingxi passed away, Qin Yu was sixteen when he had Chu Congxia...So Su Su can have her earlier..."

The image and sound flashed by so quickly that Qin Su had no time to catch them.

She stood there, stunned, the words "before Emperor Jingxi passed away" echoing in her mind.

Qin Su knew that "passed away" meant "death," which meant she would never see her again, just like her mother.

The Imperial Beast Garden and the other palace staff were initially very nervous when they saw the cat raise its head, keeping a close eye on the kitten for fear that it might hurt the princess. However, when they saw that the kitten had only nudged the princess with its nose, they were all relieved.

The eunuch from the Imperial Beast Garden said with a smile, "This cat is quite perceptive. It knew to be close to His Highness the first time it saw him, which shows that His Highness is a kind person."

Qin Su didn't react to his words. She suddenly turned to Qingmei and said, "I want to see my father!"

Qingmei, unaware that the princess was about to see the emperor while she was looking at the cat, quickly advised, "Your Highness, didn't someone just deliver a message? His Majesty is discussing state affairs with Grand Tutor Zhao. Shall we look at the cat first?"

Qin Su glanced at her, then turned to Ye Yan and repeated, "I want to see my father!"

Ye Yan didn't understand why Qin Su suddenly wanted to see the emperor, but he was Qin Su's most steadfast supporter. He wouldn't hesitate to go through fire and water, let alone see the emperor. He immediately said, "Your Highness, I will escort you."

He lifted Qin Su into the car and was about to let go when Qin Su tugged at his sleeve and said, "Come on in and sit with me."

Ye Yan wanted to say that this was against the rules, but when he met Qin Su's eyes, his heart trembled, and he said in a low voice, "Forgive me for overstepping my bounds."

This carriage frame was originally a gift from Emperor Jingxi to Qin Su. It was originally designed to be the size of an adult, and could easily seat two children.

Qin Su held onto Ye Yan, her eyes and nose red. Her usually clear and beautiful eyes were covered by mist, and tears were welling up in her eyes. She seemed to be forcing herself not to cry.

"Ye Yan," Qin Su asked, her voice trembling with tears, "Will my father die?"

Ye Yan didn't know what had happened in those few seconds or why she asked that question, but he had never seen Qin Su look so lost and helpless.

He couldn't help but hug Qin Su, patting her gently like he was soothing a baby, and softly comforting her: "No, no, Your Majesty is the Son of Heaven, blessed by Heaven, healthy and strong, at the most vigorous age, you will live to be a hundred or a thousand years old."

Qin Su asked through sobs, "Will someone really protect him? If we pray to God more, will he live a little longer?"

Ye Yan affirmed, "Of course, we'll go offer incense together later to pray for His Majesty's well-being."

Qin Su seemed to be comforted by him, and buried her face in his chest, rubbing it against him, and whispered, "I'm scared."

Her emotions affected Ye Yan's, and Ye Yan was also moved by her emotions, his eyes welling up with tears: "Su Su, don't be afraid. You'll know when you see His Majesty that he is well."

Qin Su gave a soft "hmm," and Ye Yan felt a warm, moist sensation coming from under his shoulder.

He felt heartache, anxiety, and helplessness. It was as if a hot iron had been branded onto the softest, most tender part of his heart, causing him unbearable pain. He hated that he couldn't take Qin Su's pain away, and he hated that he couldn't make Emperor Jingxi live forever so that Qin Su would never have to suffer such feelings again.

When they arrived at the Imperial Study, Qin Su didn't need anyone to carry her; she jumped down and ran inside on her own.

The princess often accompanied the emperor to and from the imperial study, and now she looked as if she had suffered a great injustice. The guards dared not stop her and made way for her.

Ye Yan was an official outside the capital and could not go in with them, so he could only watch helplessly as Qin Su's figure ran away into the distance.

He reached out and touched the shoulder Qin Su had leaned on, and suddenly realized more clearly than ever before that Qin Su was now a child with no memory.

Every time she met him before, she was an adult in appearance and soul, mysterious, powerful and omnipotent. She seemed to be proficient in everything in the world and had a clear and indifferent view of all emotions.

She never cried for anyone else, nor did she ever say "I'm scared." Her emotions were always stable and calm.

The separation of life and death that ordinary people fear, and the love, hate, anger and infatuation that they fall into, are all just fleeting things in her life.

So even though Qin Su stayed with Ye Yan until old age in the previous world, Ye Yan still felt uneasy and still felt that he was losing something.

It wasn't until here, when Qin Su had lost all her memories and grew up like an ordinary child, that she first showed the emotions that belonged to all ordinary people.

She can be playful, mischievous, pout, act spoiled, and speak childishly. She can worry about the death of her loved ones, feel sad about the natural laws of the world, and experience sorrow and fear because of love.

She once looked down upon the world from the clouds, but now she has finally stepped into this bustling world.

Ye Yan thought he would be happy, joyful to be closer to her, and relieved that she finally understood his pain and torment, but he wasn't.

He felt only heartache, an overwhelming heartache.

If he could, he hoped she would never have to experience these things.

He hoped she could always be free and happy, living as a goddess.