Chapter 77 Klein (11) Millions of moments in the past, forming...

Ogawa's dream is great, but it is too difficult to realize it.

Upon graduating from junior high school, he was the only student in the town to be admitted to a key county high school. However, his uncle and aunt refused to pay for his continued education. With the completion of nine years of compulsory education, their promise to his grandmother was fulfilled. They forcibly detained Xiaochuan at home, even forbidding him from finding work outside the village. They only required him to stay in the village and work on the farm, treating him like livestock.

When He Ping reappeared in front of Xiaochuan, he had been out of school for more than half a year.

He Ping, who returned to the village, was not rich, but at least she was well-dressed and looked like a respectable city dweller. And most importantly, she did not come back alone. She was accompanied by a gentle and elegant university professor and several county leaders, namely Lin Haisheng and his friends who were invited by Lin Haisheng to help with his work through his senior brother.

Xiaochuan had no idea what they had done, but after some negotiation, his money-hungry uncle and aunt relented and let him go. So Xiaochuan easily left the village, the land that had given him life and nurtured him, but which had become a nightmare for him, leaving him no trace of attachment. He Ping, who had taken him away overnight, was watched by the villagers, both envious and fearful, with an unprecedented sense of arrogance, avenging her previous humiliation, as if the woman caught in adultery, insulted, and despised by everyone had never existed.

Xiaochuan was surprised by this unexpected mother, but he didn't feel any admiration. He felt grateful, but he wasn't moved, because he was no longer the naive child he had been. The cake He Ping had bought him the day before she left was eventually thrown away. The next day, dead rats and cake crumbs were found scattered around the back of the house. It took Xiaochuan many years to figure out the connection between the two.

Sure enough, after the mother-son reunion and the loving mother-son relationship during the day, He Ping pulled Xiaochuan into the room alone at night without telling Lin Haisheng, and told him coldly that she had not wanted to take him back, but it was because Teacher Lin was kind-hearted and could not bear to see them separated for so many years. From now on, he would live with her, and he had to abide by his duties, understand his position, and know what he should and should not do. She would support him in his studies and life, but she would keep every penny in the account and make him return it in full in the future.

Ogawa accepted it because he had no other choice, and this was his best option at the time when he was desperate.

So he came from his hometown to Wangchun, and changed from Sun Xiaochuan to He Chuan. In his new home in Xiaolin Farm, he quickly understood his position and what he should do in the future.

He Ping had long since parted ways with the carpenter with whom she had eloped. After that, she worked many jobs and had been with several men. She was very smart. After a few years in society and suffering some losses, she quickly realized the importance of knowledge and academic qualifications. So she went to the Normal University, worked while attending classes at the school, and that's how she met Lin Haisheng, who was teaching at the school at that time.

Lin Haisheng was over twenty years older than her. He was a decent man who didn't care about her past and treated her very well. However, he refused to marry her because of his previous promise to his deceased wife. She wanted to have a child first, but because of a miscarriage in her early years, she couldn't get pregnant again. She cried to Lin Haisheng several times about this, saying that she was afraid that she would be alone in her old age and would have no children to see her off. Her original intention was to adopt a child and raise it under both of their names to gain a legitimate status. However, Lin Haisheng thought she was missing her biological son from home and offered to go back with her to take her son to him. He would treat him as his own son. He Ping was in a dilemma. She didn't want to leave a cruel impression in front of Lin Haisheng, so she had to agree.

Therefore, He Chuan's only role in this family is to be an obedient and likable son, making the appearance of a family of three created by He Ping more complete.

To this end, He Chuan made a lot of efforts. He changed all his bad habits from the countryside and worked hard to become the person Lin Haisheng liked. He suppressed his hunger and tried to be polite when eating. He practiced calligraphy hundreds of times, imitating Lin Haisheng's handwriting perfectly. He studied day and night, and his grades went from being at the bottom when he first transferred to the school to being among the top in just one semester. He kept running and exercising, making himself taller and fatter, and no longer looking dark, thin and poor...

He did all of this very well, and willingly, without any complaints, because practicing calligraphy or studying was much easier than suffering from hunger and beatings.

Although life had become easier, he clearly understood that all this peace was temporary, that warmth and tranquility were fleeting, and that not a single moment of his life was his own. He had never forgotten his original dream: to escape, to go abroad, to study, to the ends of the earth, to live a glamorous and respectable life, to make a name for himself.

Such a naive and stubborn dream, even after he fell in love for the first time and finally met the girl he liked, he selfishly could not be shaken.

Maugham said that as long as you have experienced poverty, you will be poor at heart all your life.

Perhaps throughout his life, he will always be the hungry little boy in the mountains, selfish and self-interested. Between the future and her, he made a despicable choice of himself.

Perhaps it is destined in the dark that fate is always surprisingly similar. When the world ended in 1999, Sun Dazhi died. Thirteen years later, on the eve of another doomsday, Lin Hai fell ill and died. He Chuan's life once again encountered a turning point.

At that time, he was studying in the UK. He Ping and Lin Xuedong and Zhao Qianyi were fighting over the inheritance. She called him and asked him to give up his studies and return to China immediately. First, Lin Haisheng had always admired He Chuan and had given him a seal before He Chuan went abroad. Second, He Chuan's handwriting was taught by Lin Haisheng, and he could imitate the latter very vividly. He Ping asked him to return to China to help her make a false will and forge perjury to gain benefits for herself.

After He Chuan refused, she instantly turned hostile and cursed at him:

"Who do you think you rely on to get to where you are today? If it weren't for me, you'd still be a poor farmer in the mountains, a useless person just like your father who died early. I feed you and clothe you, but how could I raise a ungrateful person like you?"

"It's not you who provides for me, it's Uncle Lin who provides for me. I can't do anything to let him down."

"Without me and him, who are you?! Don't think I don't know what you're thinking. You've been secretly hooking up with that bitch couple's daughter. I saw you all fooling around in Beidaihe in the middle of the night! Do you think you can be with her just because you betrayed me? Tomorrow I'll have someone spread the news about you two at her school. I don't think she'll be able to stay in Tsinghua. By seniority, you're her uncle, and she seduced you when she was underage. Do you two have any shame?!"

He Chuan was completely enraged by her. She shouldn't have used Lin Xia to threaten him, so he couldn't help but quarrel with He Ping.

"What qualifications do you have to scold others? Do you think I don't remember what happened when we were kids? You had an affair, got caught, eloped, and even tried to poison your own child! If you still want to be Lin Haisheng's widow, don't involve Xia Xia in this matter. Otherwise, I'll give media interviews and publicize everything you did back then. Who will be the one to be embarrassed then?!"

He knew exactly what He Ping wanted. Ultimately, he had to sadly admit that mother and son were so similar. Their backgrounds were too bleak, and they longed too much for a glamorous and respectable life. All their bad pasts had to be buried, and not a single detail dared be revealed to others.

The negotiations reached a deadlock, and in the end both parties had to take a step back.

He Ping promised not to spread the news about He Chuan and Lin Xia's relationship, and He Chuan also promised to keep his mouth shut about He Ping's past. However, He Chuan still refused to return to China to give false testimony. So He Ping asked He Chuan to repay her for all the money she had paid for his studies and living expenses over the years, and from then on, the mother and son broke off all ties.

He Ping wasn't actually short of money. She'd been responsible for all the external transactions for Lin Haisheng's calligraphy and paintings over the years, and she knew exactly how much Lin Haisheng had secretly kept. Unfortunately, He Ping wanted everything, especially the more valuable pieces. With He Chuan's seal and his forgery skills, she could continue to sell Lin Haisheng's "posthumous works," bringing in a steady stream of money.

But He Chuan was short of money. He was studying in England at the time, living a very difficult life. He Ping, of course, knew he was short of money. The amount she proposed was not too much, so that He Chuan would be left far behind, but not too little either, just enough that he would have to work very hard to earn enough to pay it back within the stipulated time. She wanted to embarrass him, force him, humiliate him, and drive him into a corner and force him to surrender.

But He Chuan gritted his teeth and agreed. For Lin Xia, and for himself, the young man had nothing, yet he was filled with pride. During that time, he worked like crazy, doing any dirty work for money, except breaking the law, which was his last red line. Not everyone would do anything for money. He always remembered his original dream. He wanted money, but more than that, he wanted fame. He wanted to live a clean, respectable and upright life. Otherwise, how could he be worthy of the young woman from Tsinghua Academy of Fine Arts with such a promising future!

Unfortunately, he was too young and too self-righteous, taking everything for granted. He put the cart before the horse and acted perversely. He had originally thought that he would be with her forever, but he inadvertently broke her heart again and again, pushing her further and further away. If Ji Min hadn't rushed him to the hospital in time, let alone the promise of the end of the world, his life might have really come to an end.

In the end, when he finally wired the money to He Ping, she no longer needed it. Neither the money nor his testimony, the money he had fought so hard for, almost risking his life, had been lost. He had anticipated this outcome, but he still did it, not for He Ping, but to find his own inner peace.

He used the money to buy out the relationship between mother and son, which was not close to begin with. From then on, they broke off all ties and had no contact with each other again.

......

Lin Xia didn't know when she fell asleep. When she woke up, it was still dark. It was a rare blue moment. The sky outside the window was a quiet ultramarine, infinitely close to Klein blue.

That was the ultimate ideal color of the monochrome painting era, so deep and so pure.

At this time, there were less than two hours left before the apartment was officially unsealed.

The two people who should have been lying flat on the yoga mat with their lumbar spines straight ended up hugging each other in a crooked position, like swans embracing each other, sleeping sea otters, or fish supporting each other in a dried-up pond in the vast universe. They lay on the ground like this all night.

He Chuan beside him was still sleeping, with his eyes closed, defenseless and innocent like a teenager.

But He Chuan was so strong-willed when he was young that he would never tell Lin Xia about his dark past even if his legs were broken or his mouth was torn. But now, time has passed and he can finally face it calmly. Isn't this a kind of relief?

They talked a lot yesterday, as if they wanted to tell each other all the little things they missed over the years.

She asked He Chuan:

"Do you hate her?"

"I don't know. I know she has her own difficulties. After all, she is my biological mother."

"So, do you blame her?"

"Maybe, it's a little weird."

He didn't blame her for leaving that year, nor did he blame her for the piece of cake she gave him. He only blamed her for not being completely cruel and leaving him alone, making him suffer for so many years.

Perhaps throughout our lives, we are just healing the pains we suffered in childhood and adolescence. Some have recovered, some have faded, and some have been pretended to be ignored, but the only thing we can do is to run forward desperately until the day when the memories can no longer catch up.

She hugged He Chuan tightly and said with sobs:

"It's over. It's all over."

"We agreed not to hide anything from each other in the future."

If they had known the difficulties they were in back then, if they had known the waiting and love for each other over the years, how could they have missed so many years in vain?

But that's not possible. There are many things that cannot be said when you are young, and many feelings that can only be realized after many years. Time is the fairest and most accurate measurement in the world. It precipitates everything, clarifies everything, and gives the most appropriate ending and answer to everything. It cannot be predicted beforehand and cannot be compensated afterwards. It only exists at this moment, between you and me.

Lin Xia didn't want to wake He Chuan up, so she closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment of sleeping in each other's arms. After dawn, after the lockdown was lifted, they would still have to face many trivial troubles. The epidemic was not over, and life went on.

"Meow~~"

A familiar cat's meow sounded in her ears. Lin Xia opened her eyes and saw that Jiujiu had squatted beside her at some point, looking down at her, with a hint of resentment in her amber eyes.

Lin Xia then remembered that both of them seemed to have forgotten to put food in the cat's bowl last night.

Sorry, I'll open the can for you right now!

Lin Xia silently apologized to it in her heart, then carefully moved He Chuan's arm around her waist away, got up and went to the kitchen.

The canned cat food was donated by kind neighbors in the building. The reserves of each household are different, and even during the Spring Festival, it is impossible to have everything complete. In the past few days, neighbors have been sharing what they have in the group. You lend me a bottle of vinegar, and I lend you a head of garlic. The originally strange and indifferent urban neighborhood relationship has become more harmonious than ever before.

The kitten Jiujiu has a special bond with Lin Xia and He Chuan. In just a few days, it quickly adapted to this temporary new home. It was quiet and well-behaved. Lin Xia felt reluctant to return it to its owner at the thought of returning it soon.

After opening the can, Lin Xia turned back to look for Jiujiu, but found that it was not following her. After searching for a while, she finally found it on the desk in the bedroom.

"Aren't you hungry? Why aren't you eating?"

Lin Xia found it funny. She had only heard the sound of the metal pull ring before, but it would rush out from any corner of the room and stick its face into the food bowl.

"Meow~"

Maybe Jiujiu answered her, or maybe not.

At this moment, it squatted gracefully on the bookshelf, shining the dim morning light on its dark fur, as if it were a witch's pet, or an Egyptian pharaoh, so mysterious and unpredictable.

It glanced at Lin Xia, jumped lightly, leaped over Lin Xia, and ran towards its breakfast. Its claws accidentally knocked a book off the bookshelf.

Lin Xia bent down to pick up the book, only to find that it was not a book, but a picture album, which contained the sketches she had drawn from time to time over the past many years.

She flipped through the pages from back to front.

The lead grey of urban steel and concrete, the foamy mocha in the cup, the childlike and lovely lemon yellow of the amusement park, the orange-red sunrise over the frozen sea in winter, the spring green of the suburban sky in the early morning, the cosmos in the woods in midsummer... until the last page, which was the unfinished sketch portrait she had drawn for He Chuan many years ago.

The colors have faded, but the memories are as vivid as ever.

Millions of past moments make up who we are at this moment. Whether happy, painful, joyful, or embarrassing, whether wounds or scars, it is these irreplaceable moments that shape who we are. Time flies, the world changes, and people are shaped by their circumstances, but deep in our souls, something remains unchanging. The so-called external changes are merely superficial; perhaps the purpose of these changes is to protect the unchanging things within us.

At this moment, Lin Xia clearly felt that many things that she had forgotten, abandoned, and buried came back silently.