Chapter 68 "From now on, you must call me by my name..."

Chapter 68

Happy times always fly by, and in the blink of an eye, Chen Yanzhou is about to return to Qingyu.

As is customary, Shen Yanzhou usually leaves on a Monday morning flight whenever he visits Yu Pan.

And this Sunday night, just like every previous night before their separation, was spent in sweet intimacy between the two of them.

This time was different from before. In the past, Yu Pan would cling to Shen Yanzhou and not let him leave, but this time Shen Yanzhou remained silent, tirelessly possessing the person beneath him again and again.

That night, Yu Pan could be said to have just surfaced and hadn't even had a few breaths before Shen Yanzhou dragged her back down, and the cycle repeated itself.

As the final moment ended, Yu Pan stared blankly at the ceiling with his eyes half-open. Chen Yanzhou pressed down on Yu Pan, sucking on his earlobe. Neither of them spoke, quietly enjoying this tender moment.

After a while, Yu Pan felt Shen Yanzhou move. Just when he thought he was finally going to be carried away to clean up, Shen Yanzhou straightened up and came back in.

"Ugh..." Yu Pan let out a short sob unexpectedly.

"This is so exciting!" Yu Pan thought, feeling dizzy.

After an unknown amount of time, Yu Pan felt that she had been drained of even the strength to groan, and had nothing left.

"Panpan." Shen Yanzhou's heavy breathing sounded in my ear, his voice low and hoarse.

"Hmm..." Yu Pan responded unconsciously.

"Give me a little more time..."

Yu Pan was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open, her mind a complete mess. She couldn't possibly understand what Shen Yanzhou meant by those words, but she still instinctively replied, "Mmm..."

When Yu Pan woke up the next day, the spot next to him was already empty. Although it wasn't the first time he had woken up in a bed where he was all alone, Yu Pan still couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness every time he faced this situation.

Beijing's winters are dry and cold. From Monday to Friday, Yu Pan spends most of her time in the classroom, dormitory, and library, except for going home to shower without fail. She is the kind of person who avoids leaving the campus if possible.

Yu Pan didn't go home this weekend. Yu Yiming's girlfriend came to Beijing for a visit, and she brought a few other girls with her. So, the girls in the dorm got together and decided to go out together on Saturday.

Yu Pan didn't want to go. He and Shen Yanzhou had visited all the famous tourist attractions in Beijing countless times. Without Shen Yanzhou, he felt there was no point in going out.

As a result, his roommates jokingly said that he was "unsociable" and should "participate in more group activities".

Although she knew they were joking, Yu Pan hesitated for a moment, but still agreed.

Early Saturday morning, Yu Pan, bundled up tightly, stood at the school gate where she had arranged to meet her roommates, her mind filled with frustration as she thought about the scene from the previous night when she had discussed this matter with Shen Yanzhou.

Shen Yanzhou laughed uncontrollably after hearing the story on the other end of the phone, and finally managed to calm Yu Pan down before she could explode.

"It's good to go out and explore with your roommates and see different scenery." Shen Yanzhou's voice was filled with laughter. "There are some scenic spots that we visit in the summer. I've never seen what they look like in the winter."

“Then you come, and we’ll go together again,” Yu Pan said sullenly.

Shen Yanzhou chuckled, "But if my brother comes, we probably won't be able to leave the house."

That's true. Once Shen Yanzhou arrived, their activities were basically confined to the house, on the bed, on the sofa... Yu Pan's face flushed.

“So, Panpan,” Shen Yanzhou softened his voice, “show your brother a different view, and tell him about it later. When I go there next time, I’ll remember what you described as soon as I see the place.”

Yu Pan was finally persuaded and reluctantly agreed.

The next morning, after meeting up at the school gate, Yu Pan walked behind the group with her hands in her pockets, dutifully recording the winter scenery that Shen Yanzhou had never seen before, and wondering if she should write a draft to make it sound better.

For dinner, since there were many people and it was going to be lively, and the young people liked to have fun, we booked a private room at the restaurant.

The private room was rather cramped, with a large round table in the middle that almost filled the space. After pulling out the chair, one had to squeeze sideways through the gap between the wall and the chair back. There were no windows inside, only a brightly colored picture of the Great Wall hanging as decoration.

Once all the dishes were served, everyone started chatting and laughing, and the various smells of food, wine, and perfume mingled and fermented in the air.

Yu Pan quickly finished two bowls of rice. He saw his roommates playing drinking games with the girls who had come with them. The atmosphere was lively, and the smell of alcohol was wafting in the enclosed space, making him feel a little stuffy. So he made an excuse to go to the toilet and slipped outside the restaurant for some fresh air.

I had just stood outside and hadn't even taken a few breaths of fresh air when I bumped into Qin Yu coming out of the restaurant.

Seeing Qin Yu staring at her, Yu Pan simply nodded politely, wondering if she should turn around and go back.

It was too late. After he nodded, Qin Yu walked over to him and stood beside him.

Qin Yu looked like he had just finished a social engagement, as he reeked of cigarettes and alcohol.

The two stood side by side, neither speaking first. Yu stared blankly at the bare tree in front of him, its leaves all gone.

Looking at the young man's profile, slightly reddened by the cold wind, Qin Yu's mind was still churning with the unpleasant conversation he had with Shen Yanzhou earlier.

Qin Yu finally broke the silence: "Panpan, you and your brother... have a very good relationship?"

Yu Pan, who had been aimlessly studying the direction of the tree branches, turned her gaze to Qin Yu when she heard him mention Shen Yanzhou. "Yes, very good."

A complex expression flashed across Qin Yu's face as he carefully chose his words: "Panpan, do you know... that normal brothers don't interact like this?"

Upon hearing this, Yu Pan raised an eyebrow, her face expressionless, and retorted directly, "Of course I know. President Qin, just say what you want to say."

Whether it was a misperception or not, Qin Yu actually caught a glimpse of the calm demeanor that belonged to Shen Yanzhou on Yu Pan's composed face.

Now that Yu Pan had made things clear, Qin Yu didn't beat around the bush anymore: "I know about your relationship."

"Hmm, and then?" Yu Pan stared at him with wide eyes.

"Then..." Qin Yu took a deep breath of the cold air, as if he had made up his mind, "I want to say, have you realized that what you're doing... is not normal?"

"Huh?" Yu Pan tilted her head, her tone full of doubt. "Then what is normal? Finding a girlfriend, getting married and having children, is that normal?"

“Yes,” Qin Yu didn’t deny it, “At least this is the path that mainstream society approves of. If you’re being forced into it, or if you have any difficulties, you can tell me, and I can help…”

“You’re such a strange person,” Yu Pan interrupted him, her brows furrowing slightly. “Why should you be the one to meddle in our affairs?”

Qin Yu was caught off guard by the question and paused for a moment before saying, "I... I just couldn't stand by and watch."

“Then you should just stop looking at us.” Yu Pan’s logic was simple and direct, with a touch of naivety. “Besides, my brother is a good person, not at all the kind of person you think he is.”

“Panpan, people change. The Shen Yanzhou you see might be different from what others see…” Qin Yu tried to explain.

"Stop!" Yu Pan's emotions tend to flare up when it comes to Shen Yanzhou. He interrupted Qin Yu, his tone becoming somewhat agitated, "President Qin, do you know? I used to be mute."

"How could you be mute?" Qin Yu asked in surprise. This was impossible. He had investigated Yu Pan before, and the information he received was indeed about Shen Yanzhou and a mute younger brother. However, Yu Pan had just never liked to talk since she was a child, and she was not mute.

Because he doesn't like to talk, people mistakenly think he's mute, that's what Qin Yu thought.

“Why not? I used to be mute.” Yu Pan said very seriously, “Not only was I mute, I was also deaf, both deaf and mute.”

Seeing Qin Yu's shocked expression, he continued calmly, "Even so, my brother never thought of giving up on me. You know, I was taken in by their family."

“When I first lost my hearing, my brother took me everywhere to see doctors. Later, my hearing improved for two years, then it deteriorated again. He took all our money and we went to Lanzhou for treatment. At that time, we didn’t even think about whether it could be cured or what we would do if it couldn’t be cured…”

“Every word I’m saying now was taught to me by him, word by word, over and over again…”

Yu Pan couldn't bear to see Shen Yanzhou being so baselessly speculated and slandered. He earnestly spoke to Qin Yu about Shen Yanzhou's good qualities and tried to clear Shen Yanzhou's name.

Qin Yu was completely stunned. He had never imagined that Yu Pan had gone through such a difficult time before. After all, when he first met Yu Pan in Beijing, he couldn't tell at all.

Yu Pan didn't notice his distraction and continued, "So, I think what's going on between us is perfectly normal. The abnormal one is you, President Qin."

"You're also a highly educated person, shouldn't you try to accept other people's differences? Please don't make things difficult for my brother at work because of this, okay?"

"Your brother... told you?" Qin Yu asked hesitantly.

“No,” Yu Pan shook her head, “but I know now.”

-

Yu Pan finally understood why Shen Yanzhou was in a bad mood after returning from his trip. He had thought it was because of a bad social engagement, but he never expected it was because of these things.

When Yu Pan returned to her dormitory that evening and had her usual phone call with Shen Yanzhou, she told him about meeting Qin Yu at the dinner party.

After listening, Shen Yanzhou's voice tightened: "What did he say to you?"

"What else can we say?" Yu Pan said, her voice tinged with dissatisfaction. "Isn't it just that we're abnormal?"

Upon hearing Yu Pan's words, Shen Yanzhou felt relieved. It seemed that Qin Yu had not told Yu Pan about his background. So he went along with him and said, "Yes, that's what he meant when he talked to me before."

Upon hearing this, Yu Pan immediately snorted and called him by his full name, "Shen Yanzhou! Why didn't you tell me back then!"

They're calling me by my full name now, so they must be really angry. Shen Yanzhou softened his voice and apologized, "I'm sorry, Panpan, I just didn't want you to worry about these trivial things."

"I'm not bothered at all!" Yu Pan retorted. "I'm just angry! What right did he have to talk about you like that!"

...

In the dormitory, several roommates exchanged glances as they watched Yu Pan standing at the end of the corridor talking on the phone.

"This is the first time I've seen Yu Pan like this. Did she have a fight with her brother?"

"Sounds like it."

"Is this really a case of the sun rising in the west?"

"Who can argue with that?"

Yu Pan was genuinely annoyed this time. He held his phone silently, listening to Shen Yanzhou's sincere apologies and gentle coaxing on the other end.

When Yu Pan felt it was almost time, knowing that Shen Yanzhou had to get up early for work the next day, he reluctantly forgave him and hung up the phone.

After this incident, Shen Yanzhou thought that the Wu family would soon find Yu Pan through Qin Yu's lead. He secretly made various preparations to deal with the situation, but unexpectedly, there was no movement from Beijing for a long time, and the calm was somewhat abnormal.

Until the year before last, at a business banquet in Lanzhou, Shen Yanzhou saw Qin Yu again.

The two avoided the noisy crowd and stood on the relatively quiet terrace. Qin Yu took a sip of wine, his attitude no longer as sharp as when he questioned Shen Yanzhou, but rather with a sense of relief.

"I know what you're afraid of," Qin Yu said calmly, looking at the lights in the distance. "Don't worry, I won't mention this to the Wu family."

"Why?" Shen Yanzhou asked, somewhat surprised, scrutinizing him.

"For no reason." Qin Yu smiled, his smile containing complex and unreadable emotions. "I just believe that everyone should pay the price for their mistakes and atone for them slowly."

Shen Yanzhou remained silent and did not respond.

“You know what,” Qin Yu suddenly turned his head, looked at Shen Yanzhou, and smirked, “when Panpan was little, she also called me brother.”

Shen Yanzhou's eye twitched almost imperceptibly.

"Let's just consider this..." Qin Yu paused, his voice lowering, "...as an older brother, my final blessing to him."

Shen Yanzhou's expression was somber as he coldly said, "You're just the neighbor next door..."

“The boy next door is still a brother.” Qin Yu interrupted him, his carefree smile returning. “Besides, if it weren’t for all that mess back then, I might be the one by his side now.”

Shen Yanzhou's eyes instantly turned cold.

"Just kidding." Qin Yu knew when to stop, raised his glass to clink with Shen Yanzhou's, and prepared to turn around and return to the venue.

After taking a couple of steps, he seemed to suddenly remember something, stopped, turned around and said to Shen Yanzhou, "By the way, Panpan should be 21 years old this year. His birthday is the 17th of the twelfth lunar month."

After saying that, he didn't linger and blended into the crowd.

...

It was late at night when the banquet ended. When Shen Yanzhou returned home, the light in his study was still on.

Yu Pan propped her chin up with one hand, aimlessly poking at the manuscript paper on the table with her pen. Hearing the sound, she knew that Shen Yanzhou had returned. She threw down her pen, ran out, and pounced into Shen Yanzhou's arms. The next second, her legs were already nimbly wrapped around his waist. "Brother, come and help me take a look at my new manuscript!"

Yu Pan had only been on winter vacation for a week, but since the first day he got home, he had been working on his new story. He planned to submit it to the literary society and drama club after the start of the new semester. If it was selected, he could start editing it into a script and rehearsing it. He was very enthusiastic about it.

Shen Yanzhou supported his hips and legs, holding him steadily as he carried Yu Pan towards the study, replying, "Okay, I'll go help you now, but..."

"But what?" Yu Pan wrapped her arms around his neck and blinked in confusion.

Looking into the eyes of the person in his arms, Shen Yanzhou recalled Qin Yu's words "brother next door" and felt a strange pang of unease. He leaned close to Yu Pan's ear and whispered, "From now on, you should call my name occasionally."

"Why?" Yu Pan was even more confused. Wasn't it better to call him "brother"? Shen Yanzhou also liked it when she called him "brother." Every time she made an "uh-huh" sound, he couldn't stop calling her "brother."

“Because…” Shen Yanzhou tightened his grip on his hand, “I want to hear it.”

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Author's Note: Panpan [Cat Head emoji]: Huh? [Question Mark]