◇ 【059】 First Kiss

"But I'm learning to change. Now I also use my phone to read novels, browse Weibo, send WeChat messages, and shop..."

Gu Juan couldn't help but burst out laughing. He really shouldn't have laughed at a time like this, but he couldn't help it. Why did the old man's confession have such a unique tone? He had never asked Xi Lang to read novels or check Weibo on his phone...

His smile gave Xi Lang a little more confidence. "Actually, that time at Shengming Shopping Mall wasn't the first time we met."

Gu Juan was extremely surprised. She raised her head from his arms, and their lips almost brushed against each other. "Impossible! I haven't seen you before?"

Xi Lang stared at his lips, secretly regretting that he should have lowered his head slightly.

"October 2nd last year, in the cemetery."

Gu Juan was even more confused. "Cemetery? I didn't meet anyone there?"

Xi Lang recalled the situation at that time, "You were pale and confused. You couldn't even walk down the stairs. You almost fell from the stairs that were more than ten stories high. I helped you up and saw that something was wrong with you. I asked if you needed me to take you to the hospital, but you shook my hand away."

"Oh!" Gu Juan suddenly remembered, "That's right. Then..." Thinking of Xi Lang's confession, he felt his ears burning, but he didn't push Xi Lang away.

"I was already concerned about you back then, in ways I couldn't quite explain. When I saw you at Shengming Shopping Mall, I recognized you and felt you had no idea how to protect yourself, so I couldn't help but lecture you." He suddenly changed the subject, "I've told you before that I'd tell you about our childhood."

Gu Juan nodded, a little curious.

"When I was eleven, I was kidnapped by two men and a woman."

Gu Juan's heart skipped a beat, and he became nervous for no reason. "Are you okay?"

"It's okay. No rush. Just listen to me." Xi Lang stroked his back soothingly, his tone casual as if he were discussing someone else's affairs. "That woman was young, beautiful, pure, and kind. When I saw her, I felt that no woman I knew could compare to her. But she pretended to be a school teacher and drugged me. When I woke up, I found myself in a dilapidated warehouse. Besides her, there was also a young man in his early twenties and a middle-aged man in his fifties. The three of them were about to call my house for a ransom, but they got into an argument over how to divide the ransom. The woman, feeling out of control, took the initiative to take off her clothes and...acted extremely wanton with the middle-aged man. I turned my head away, but the young man said it would be more exciting to have someone watching and forced me to stare at the two people. Of course, I didn't want to, but the young man punched and kicked me..."

"Stop talking!" Gu Juan felt distressed and stopped Xi Lang from continuing.

He could fully understand Xi Lang's pain. Eleven or twelve years old, boys are just beginning to fall in love and are filled with longing for the opposite sex. That young woman must have fulfilled all of Xi Lang's expectations of the opposite sex, but she had caused Xi Lang to experience this intense and disgusting shock during his adolescence, inflicting a tremendous blow both psychologically and physically.

"That woman was first with the middle-aged man, then with the young man, and later, even with all three of them. You can imagine... For a long time after that, I couldn't accept anyone getting close to or touching me, especially women, even my mother. Not only that, I also suffered from anorexia, and it took three whole years for the situation to gradually improve. But I still can't accept being touched by other people, unless I take the initiative to touch them. You may have noticed that Han Lin and the others never get close to me when they are with me." Xi Lang hugged him again, "I tell you this to tell you that you are special. I care about you both mentally and physically. I thought that I would not like women or men, and perhaps I would be alone until the end of my life. But you have entered my world, and I don't want to let you go."

Gu Juan stared at him intently, his heart trembling. In his eyes, Xi Lang had always been calm, confident, strong, and seemingly omnipotent, but it turned out that he, like him, also wanted someone to love and be loved by him.

Xi Lang sighed softly, "It's not that I haven't struggled. Was it too selfish to drag you into my world? You're young, confident, and youthful, and the future holds endless possibilities. You might meet someone better than me, perhaps a woman, perhaps a man, the same age as you, or a year or two older or younger, rather than nine years older. You'll have a lot of young people's topics to talk about, and perhaps even the same hobbies, anyway, not chess or fishing. But all my concerns are ultimately no match for my longing for you. When I stand by the window, looking in the direction of your house, even the thought of your shadow side by side with another person reflected on the curtains is unbearable. So, I gave you a puppy, cooked for you, visited you at school... all in the hope that you'd get used to my presence, that you'd understand that, just as I can't live without you, you can't live without me."

Gu Juan's eyes moistened, overwhelmed by Xi Lang's intense yet restrained affection. His heart was filled with utter contentment. It turned out the person he loved loved him back. Those who had never truly loved could never experience the happiness of being loved. He had been like a half circle before, but now he was a full circle.

The person in his arms was too quiet, and Xi Lang felt a little nervous. "Originally, I didn't plan to tell the truth so soon, but my mother said that if I delay any longer, you will be snatched away by someone else." It is undeniable that Xi's mother made him lose his pace.

Gu Juan couldn't help but smile. Who snatched it away?

Gu Juan's smile eased Xi Lang's nervousness. He also smiled and said easily, "As you can see, my family is easy to get along with, and they all support me pursuing you."

"I……"

Gu Juan had just said a word when he was interrupted by Xi Lang.

"Think about it before you reply. I'll go out first, you think about it carefully."

Xi Lang let go of him, left a kiss on his forehead, opened the door and left.

Gu Juan stared at the closed door for a while, then smiled softly. Is there anything happier than having the person you love also love you?

But Xi Lang's confession was indeed sudden. He thought he would be the first to confess.

At Shengming Shopping Mall, Xi Cong jokingly asked Xi Lang if he was Xi Lang's boyfriend, and he suspected that Xi Lang didn't like women.

Initially, he cared about Xi Lang as a good friend, a good brother, but from that day on at Xianye Farm, he suddenly realized that he considered Xi Lang more than just a brother and a friend. He hoped that Xi Lang would belong to him in a certain sense. Since then, he has been slowly planning things. In addition to preparing for Xi Lang's cultivation, he also wanted to develop his own career. It is undeniable that the gap between his and Xi Lang's status is too great. Xi Lang is the third son of one of the century-old families in the imperial capital, while he is just from an ordinary family and an orphan. To outsiders, it seems that he is marrying above his station. Although he doesn't care about other people's gossip, he still tries to avoid it if possible. So he wanted to develop his career first to silence some people. But unexpectedly, Xi Lang confessed his love first. Xi Lang's confession disrupted his plans, but it was really happy news.

Seeing himself grinning foolishly in the reflection of his computer, Gu Juan coughed awkwardly.

Although his plan was disrupted, since Xi Lang had taken the first step, could he push Xi Lang back? He couldn't do it, and he couldn't bear to do it.

Thinking that Xi Lang might be having a hard time, he quickly opened the door and walked out. Only then did he suddenly realize that this was Xi Lang's room, and Xi Lang was in the guest room where he lived.

Xi Lang was truly having a hard time at this moment, fidgeting uncomfortably in his room. Apart from the time he was kidnapped, this was the second time he had felt this anxious. He knew in his heart that it was a bit too early to bring things to light with Gu Juan. Gu Juan was still very young, so young that he had never experienced any feelings, and if he wasn't careful, he might become disgusted with such feelings. But Xi's mother's words had always stayed with him, and what had happened in the club had made him realize the huge gap between them. He was worried that if he continued to dawdle, he would really lose control of the situation. At the very least, he had to win a chance for himself. So, he chose to confess today.

In the end, it was still because he lacked confidence. Gu Juan was too beautiful. His smile, his fake anger, even his silence, his expressionless face, were all very attractive in his eyes. When he was with Gu Juan, even if he was jokingly called "old man" countless times, he was happy with it.

Gu Juan looked in the hallway, saw no one, and knocked on the door. It opened just once. He was startled. Could it be that Xi Lang had been waiting for him behind the door? He looked at Xi Lang, and sure enough, he was wearing the same clothes he had when he left his room.

Xi Lang took two steps back to let Gu Juan in. His tone was as calm as usual, but his voice was dry. "Have you made up your mind so quickly? Why don't you think about it more carefully?"

A cunning look flashed across Gu Juan's eyes. He walked out the door and said calmly, "I was going to agree. Since you asked me to reconsider..."

Before he could finish his words, Xi Lang pulled him inside. Seeing the man's expression, a mixture of surprise and helplessness, he couldn't help but laugh with pleasure. This man often smiled, but never like this. His eyes were filled with laughter, overflowing like flowing light, glittering and shining, making him feel happy too. He raised his hand to touch the corners of the man's smiling eyes, then leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

"You're very good. Your strengths are still strengths in my eyes, and even your weaknesses are interesting."

Xi Lang pulled him back again, lowered his head, placed his lips on his, and licked him tentatively. Seeing that he showed no disgust, he held his lips and sucked gently.

Gu Juanqing couldn't help herself, hugged his neck and imitated his response.

Two people who had never been so close to anyone before were like two children who got a new toy, studying it curiously and eagerly...

After the kiss, no one knew how much time had passed. The two stared at each other, their heavy breathing seeming to be magnified several times in the quiet room.