Wa Wa tilted his little face up, revealing a toothless grin, like a fox slyly sly. "That's what mother taught me!" She counted on her chubby hands, "Three pounds of croton powder, two pounds of locust flower honey, wrapped in fresh lotus leaves and sun-dried for 49 days. After eating it, you'll have three bowel movements, and after that, you'll want to tell the truth!" She shook her head triumphantly, "That silk merchant from Nanchu who cheated us ate it, and not only did he return the 5,000 taels he'd taken, he even handed over a list of the 27 merchants he'd ripped off!"

Shen Weiwan held her forehead with her hand. From the corner of her eye, she saw Xiao Yu's shoulders shaking from trying to hold back his laughter, and the python pattern on his brocade robe was trembling. "I told you to cheat me, not to sell it as a legitimate medicine!"

"Madam," Xiao Yu coughed twice and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his sleeve pocket. It was covered in dense charcoal writing. "This is an order from the Beijing Pawnshop. They're ordering 100,000 boxes of 'Commercial Mutual Trust Pills' to be taken by buyers while they inspect the goods. They say that after taking this pill, sellers won't dare lie, and buyers won't worry about being ripped off. They can even reduce the deed tax by 20%."

"You've rebelled!" Shen Weiwan slammed the table and stood up, shaking the croton powder box on the desk so much that it jumped and the powder fell. "Let's go! Follow mother to the accounting office to check the accounts and see how much dirty money you made behind my back!"

The light in the accounting office was dim. A three-legged croton-patterned incense burner sat on a sandalwood cabinet, the burning croton incense emitting a strange sweet and spicy aroma. Chuntao spread out the account book with trembling hands. The beads on the mahogany abacus clattered, making a particularly clear sound in the silent room:

"Honest Diarrhea" sales: 103,214 boxes

Unit price: 10 taels (wholesale price)

Additional income: 34,000 taels of "redemption fee" from merchants in Southern Chu

Merchants from the Western Regions paid 50,000 taels of silver for "disaster relief"

Total income: 1,163,214 taels

Shen Weiwan stared at the figures in the account book and suddenly collapsed in her chair, the croton flower hairpin in her bun sliding to the side. "Forget it..." She looked into Kengkeng's sparkling eyes and suddenly laughed out loud. "With you two little money-grubbers around, Mom's 100 million tael retirement plan is just around the corner."

He raised his chubby little fist, and gold dust fell from his sleeve pocket, piling up in small piles on the blue bricks of the accounting office. "Mom! We'll help you make money!" his face was full of solemnity. "But when you make money, you have to buy us fireworks that explode into gold ingots. We'll also ride white wolves in Beidi and row dragon boats in Nanchu!"

"Deal!" Shen Weiwan pinched his cheek, turned to Xiao Yu and raised an eyebrow, the croton flower hairpin in her hair shone with a tiny golden light, "Did you hear that? Your Highness, when you make enough money, this princess will take you to see what the 'Global Scam Tour' is. In each country we visit, we will open a branch of the Scam Institute and let them know what the Da Sheng art of scamming people is!"

Xiao Yu put his arm around her waist, nuzzling the croton flowers in her hair, taking in their faint sweet fragrance. "Alright," he said, looking out the window. He saw Keng Keng and Wawa painting a giant "money" character in the courtyard with croton powder. The powder mist shone like scattered gold in the sunset. "My retirement plan depends on my wife and these two little gods of wealth."

That night, the moonlight was like silver frost, dyeing the croton fields at the Prince's Mansion hazy. Shen Weiwan leaned in Xiao Yu's arms, listening to Kengkeng and Wawa whispering under the rockery. The children's voices were particularly clear in the silent night:

"Brother, let's draw a purse that can hold 100 million taels!"

"Great! I'll also paint fireworks on it, and boom! Lots of money and candied haws will pop out!"

She looked at the twisted money bag the children had made out of croton powder—it was shaped like a chubby little pig, with "100 million taels" scribbled on the side and a dead firework stick stuck out of the top. Suddenly, her heart felt hot, as if she had a roasted croton seed in her arms. "Your Highness," she whispered, moonlight dancing on her eyelashes, "do you think we can really earn 100 million taels?"

Xiao Yu bent down to kiss her forehead, the moonlight outlining his straight nose and the slightly curved corners of his lips. "With the two little foxes you taught here," he said with a smile that tickled her eardrums, "let alone 100 million taels, even emptying the national treasury wouldn't be difficult."

"Of course!" Chen Weiwan laughed so hard her shoulders shook, startling a nightingale perched on a croton trellis. Its fluttering wings shattered the moonlight. "Once I've made enough money, I'm going to make croton powder into a 'world currency' and open a chain of 'Honest Laxatives' pharmacies. All those scammers will poop after eating it, and poop until they poop out everything they've got!"

From a distance, I heard Kengkeng's voice shouting, "Mom! We've finished the painting! Do you think it looks like 100 million taels?"

Looking out in the moonlight, Shen Weiwan saw a giant, round lump of croton powder in the center of the courtyard. Next to it, a crooked "one hundred million taels" was written in powder. The firework stick on top had been replaced with a candied haws stick. She suddenly felt that this ridiculous retirement plan was far more interesting than being a well-behaved prince's consort.

From then on, the common people of the Dasheng Dynasty often saw the young princes and princesses of the prince's mansion running around the streets with money bags studded with croton powder, waving gold ingots and shouting to everyone they met: "Buy 'Honest Laxative' and get a firework coupon! Eat it and you'll make money, poop and you'll be honest, and if it doesn't work, no money!" Meanwhile, their mother, Shen Weiwan, the consort of the Seventh Prince, hid in the palace's counting house, grinning foolishly over the account book, her fingertips repeatedly rubbing the number "100 million taels"—a small step closer to her retirement plan of traveling the world with her family and scamming everyone along the way. As for the missing 90 million taels? Shen Weiwan looked out the window at her son and daughter's busy little figures, her back teeth showing in a smile, croton powder dripping from her sleeve, piling up into a small mountain of gold on the account book: "What's the rush? With these two little guys who lay golden eggs, my retirement life is just around the corner!"