Chapter 92

This scene felt like a return to the time when the two of them stood side by side in the capital city of Suzaku, watching the lights of countless homes illuminate the city. They never imagined that their lives would change so drastically in just one year.

Mu Yulu pulled her outer robe tighter around her and silently gazed at the sleeping city below. After a while, she turned her gaze to Sanzhou Jinse, who was sitting next to her: "It's been almost half a year since we last met. What have you been doing all this time?"

Sanzhou Jinse didn't say much, only that she was on a mission. Mu Yulu turned her head back angrily, "You won't tell me anything, are you afraid I'll worry about you, or are you afraid of revealing secrets in front of me?"

Seeing that she was angry, Sanzhou Jinse hesitated for a moment, then raised his arm, but instead of putting it around her, he placed his hand on the back of her hand, which was slightly cool as it rested on the bricks.

The spring chill was still in the air, and their hands were a little cold, but once they held hands, they quickly warmed up.

"It's because I felt there was nothing to say. Anyway, the mission is already completed, and saying it would only scare you unnecessarily," Sanzhou Jinse explained earnestly to her.

Silence fell between them, with only the sound of the wind lingering. After a while, Mu Yulu sighed softly. She stopped pressing the matter and changed the subject: "When you came to the Vermilion Bird Kingdom to save me, will the Three States Pavilion punish you?"

She said softly, "Actually, I've always been worried that I'll implicate you."

Sanzhou Jinse gripped her hand even tighter. "Assassins also have free time; they aren't always on missions. Going to the Vermilion Bird Kingdom to rescue you was my own decision, and the Sanzhou Pavilion can't interfere."

Hearing him say that, Mu Yulu felt much relieved, but then she became curious again: "Mu Qinhan told me that you helped him with two missions. Aren't you two in a cooperative relationship? Even if you go against your employer, won't the Three States Pavilion interfere?"

Sanzhou Jinse smiled and said, "Each task is independent. We just need to complete the task. We won't have much interaction with the people who issue the tasks. They can't really be called our employers."

Mu Yulu gave a knowing "oh," and then continued to ask, "So, what qualifies someone as an employer?"

She turned to look at Sanzhou Jinse again: "If I were to pay you to be my personal bodyguard, for a month, a year, ten years... would I then be considered your employer?"

Sanzhou Jinse also turned his head and looked at her face. After staring at her for a while, he said, "Theoretically it is feasible, but the assassins of Sanzhou Pavilion are very expensive."

Mu Yulu nodded: "I know, top assassins like you must be especially expensive, right?"

She sighed softly again: "If I could hire you to stay by my side, wouldn't we be able to meet only once every six months?"

Sanzhou Jinse's eyes flickered slightly. His voice was soft, carried away by the wind: "Actually, assassins can also save up enough money to leave Sanzhou Pavilion, but I..."

His voice trailed off at this point, but she knew without being told that Sanzhou Jinse was no ordinary assassin. Given his value, no matter how much silver was offered, Sanzhou Pavilion would definitely not let him go.

They will continue to control him with the cold poison until even the antidote can no longer remove the toxins accumulated in his body.

Mu Yulu's voice was somewhat low: "They will save you, but they won't let you go either, right?"

She asked, "When you fell off the cliff that day, were you rescued by people from Sanzhou Pavilion?"

San Zhou Jinse responded softly, "I had just taken the antidote when I received the message from Xiao Tang, and I returned directly to the Vermilion Bird Kingdom before I even had a chance to regulate my breathing. They knew what I was going to do; they must have been following me from the very beginning."

Mu Yulu finally understood the way the Three States Pavilion operated. They wouldn't interfere with or obstruct an assassin's private affairs, but a top-tier assassin like Sanzhou Jinse was so rare that it might take ten or even a hundred years to train one. Therefore, they wouldn't let him go free, nor would they be willing to let him die so easily.

Mu Yulu didn't want to talk about such a heavy topic anymore, so she changed the subject and said, "I've been doing quite well since I left the Vermilion Bird Kingdom. I really like Qiye Academy and I also really like my master."

When Sanzhou Jinse heard her say that, a smile appeared in his eyes. He hummed in agreement and then nodded, "I know."

Although they hadn't seen each other for almost half a year, it seemed he knew everything about her.

Mu Yulu shared her life experiences over the past six months with him, and then asked, "What about your master? I heard you say that you were brought to the Three States Pavilion by your master when you were seven years old?"

Sanzhou Jinse turned his head and silently gazed at the outline of the city in the deep night. His eyes sometimes showed a hint of confusion, and sometimes a hint of sadness or anger. Clearly, Mu Yulu's question had pulled him back to an unpleasant memory.

After a long while, he finally spoke, breaking the silence.

"That day he happened to be passing by the busiest long street in Huai'an County, and I happened to jump from the tallest building on that street."

Mu Yulu turned to look at him, but saw that his face was expressionless. He was simply recalling this past event that was imprinted in his memory with extreme calmness, as if he were narrating someone else's story.

"That day was the first time I had ever felt kindness from someone after so many years of wandering."

Mu Yulu initially thought that Sanzhou Jinse was referring to his master, but as she listened further, she realized that it wasn't the case at all.

“Usually, the people patrolling the streets would come and drive us away, but they didn’t that day.”

“They approached me very kindly, holding a sugar figurine in their hand. They asked me why I was wandering the streets alone and said they would take me to my parents.”

"But my parents sold me to human traffickers. I escaped and have been wandering alone ever since."

"They seemed to feel sorry for my situation and said they were willing to give me a meal and asked if I would like to work in the government office."

"I believed them, and then they took me to a restaurant and said that the person in the private room was my benefactor and that I should serve him well."

He paused here, his hands resting on his knees unconsciously curling up, his long fingers clenched tightly together, even his knuckles turning white.

"That nobleman's official position is not high, he is just the head of the three shifts of yamen runners, but even such a small official can act like a tyrant in this county."

"After being locked in the room, I learned what they meant by 'serving,' and I also learned that the head constable had a penchant for molesting children."

Hearing this, Mu Yulu couldn't bear to listen anymore. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it slightly, indicating that if he didn't want to talk, then he wouldn't.

After a moment of silence, Sanzhou Jinse continued, "They blocked my way, and I had nowhere to escape, so in the end I could only jump out of the window."

"My master happened to pass by at that time. He said I had courage and saw that I was a good candidate for martial arts, so he took me back to the Three States Pavilion. If I hadn't met him that day, I might not be alive today."

Mu Yulu suddenly remembered what happened on the day she threw the embroidered ball. He had been watching the play from across the street until she jumped, at which point he came to her rescue. So she asked him, "You only showed up to save me when you saw me fall that day because the scene reminded you of something from your childhood?"

Sanzhou Jinse nodded.

Mu Yulu asked again, "So you always wear a mask, and even when you are seriously injured, you are unwilling to take it off in front of others. Is that also because of this?"

Another silence fell. Just when Mu Yulu thought that Sanzhou Jinse was unwilling to answer anymore, she saw him nod slightly again.

"Later, that head constable became the first soul to fall under my sword. But when I killed him, I didn't feel anything." He chuckled softly, "I felt neither fear nor pleasure."

“From that moment on, I knew that my master was right; I was born to be an assassin.” Tonight was probably the first time in his life that he had spoken his true feelings to someone else. His voice trembled slightly as he spoke, and even the corner of his mouth twitched a little.

He raised his hand instinctively to touch his mask, only then realizing that he hadn't been wearing one today.

It seems that ever since he gave the mask to Mu Yulu, he has never worn it in front of her again.

“I still remember how that person praised me. He said I was prettier than those little girls.” He put his hand down and continued to recall: “The funny thing is, it was from that time that I gradually realized that I was very beautiful.”

"But actually, that so-called good looks are useless; sometimes they just make me feel disgusted."

He frowned: "Sometimes I look at my face in the mirror, and the more I look, the more repulsive I feel. I hate everything about myself. The more beautifully that person describes me, the more disgusted I feel..."

Mu Yulu interrupted him at this moment.

She leaned down and kissed his lips, silencing his unfinished words, and then, under his astonished gaze, moved in and out of him little by little.

She kissed his tense cheek, then his eyebrows and eyes, and finally gently stroked the back of his clenched fist, with a touch of gentle insistence, slowly prying open his stiff, curled fingers.

She opened her fist, revealing several hideous old scars on her palm. She looked down at them for a while, then lowered her head and kissed them.

“Every part of you is beautiful, including these scars on your palms.” She kissed him again and again, then rested her head on his knees and looked up at him. “Beautiful things don’t disgust people; what disgusts people is that damned person.”

Her eyes seemed to be filled with stars: "By killing him, you saved many innocent children. Don't punish yourself for that person anymore. He doesn't deserve for you to remember him all these years."

At this moment, a storm raged in Sanzhou Jinse's eyes.

He thought he would never remember that person again; from now on, he would only remember the way she looked at him tonight, nestled on his lap.

He could never forget her.