Chapter 93: Matters Concerning His Brother

On the third day after Princess Gyeongbok was poisoned, the sky darkened in the morning, with layers of leaden-gray clouds piling up, making it hard to breathe. A bleak autumn wind suddenly rose, swirling fallen leaves and bringing a bone-chilling cold.

Meng Yutong was alone in the backyard of Zhaoyutang, with the bamboo pigeon cage in front of her.

Inside the cage, Liu Sijun's pigeon lay silently, its downy feathers trembling slightly in the wind, yet showing no sign of life.

A layer of worry settled between her brows, her gaze quietly fixed on the pigeons, her fingertips unconsciously stroking the cold cage bars, her heart sinking as heavily as the weather.

Ji Yun set off yesterday to find the crucial Seven Star Grass, but there has been no news of him yet.

She looked up at the overcast sky, her brow furrowing even more. Judging from the situation, an autumn rain seemed inevitable. If he encountered a downpour deep in the mountains, the slippery paths and biting cold would likely make his situation even more difficult.

Just as she was pondering, a familiar commotion came from the front hall. She looked in the direction of the sound and saw Li Jing stride in, followed by Yunzhou carrying a food box.

"Young Master! You've finally arrived!" Shi Yu rushed to greet Li Jing upon seeing him, his face contorted with worry. "I've been so bored these past two days!"

Li Jing shoved him irritably, her tone disdainful: "You ungrateful wretch! I'm letting you have some peace and quiet here, and you dare to complain?"

Shi Yu waved his hands repeatedly: "No, no! It's just that being locked up and unable to get out is incredibly boring."

"Young Master Li." Meng Yutong stood up and greeted him from afar.

"Get out of the way!" Li Jing pushed Shi Yu aside, strode up to Meng Yutong, and first gave a feigned snort of displeasure, "Hmph, where's my cousin? Why did he leave you here all alone? He didn't even keep you company. Come to think of it, I'm the most loyal one, aren't I?"

As he spoke, he turned around and beckoned to Yunzhou to place the food box on the stone table. Lifting the lid revealed a dazzling array of exquisite dishes, their aroma filling the air.

"This is a signature dish I specially brought from Helelou! You've been cooped up in the clinic these past few days, you must not have been eating well. Come and have some!"

Meng Yutong politely declined his offer, saying that she had no appetite.

Li Jing insisted, "Even if you're not hungry, you have to eat something! Otherwise, wouldn't it be a waste for me to buy so much?"

Meng Yutong had no intention of doing so, so she invited Shi Yu, Wu Ming, and Bai Zhi to come and enjoy the meal together.

The three of them happily gathered around, but Li Jing reluctantly moved aside, muttering under his breath, "I bought this especially for you... and you don't appreciate it..."

"What did the young master just say?" Meng Yutong vaguely heard it and looked up to ask him.

Li Jing immediately shook his head, his eyes darting around: "No...nothing!"

Meng Yutong didn't ask any more questions, and instead called Yunzhou to a quiet place to the side.

"Yunzhou," she said in a low voice, her brows still furrowed with worry, "your young master hasn't returned yet?"

Yunzhou's face also showed worry, and he shook his head, saying, "When the young master left yesterday, he did not say when he would return. It seems that this matter of going up the mountain to collect herbs is quite arduous."

He looked up at the increasingly gloomy sky and sighed, "Judging from this sky, it looks like there's going to be a heavy rain. Whenever it's rainy and damp, the old injury that the young master sustained years ago flares up, causing unbearable pain in his shoulders and arms... I wonder if his journey will go smoothly."

"An old injury?" Meng Yutong pressed. "What happened to his arm?"

Yunzhou realized he had spoken out of turn, but considering that the young master treated Doctor Meng with extraordinary kindness, he thought there was no need to deliberately hide the matter. So he carefully replied, "A few years ago... something happened in the manor. The young master was caught in the cold rain all night in winter, and... he knelt in front of the old master's courtyard all night. The cold penetrated to his bones, and since then he has suffered from this cold and damp pain. Whenever it rains, his old shoulder injury becomes unbearably painful."

He was vague, only using the word "unexpected change" to gloss over the matter, and dared not delve into the hidden details.

However, Meng Yutong was extremely perceptive and immediately caught the ambiguity in his words. She frowned and asked, "Is the change you mentioned related to Ji Yun's deceased elder brother?"

Yun Zhou shuddered and looked up at Meng Yutong with shock in his eyes: "Doctor Meng... how... how did you know about this? Did the young master tell you himself?"

After the eldest son's sudden death, the master and mistress were devastated, and the old master was even more deeply affected. The entire Ji family was shrouded in gloom, and that period was considered a taboo in the household.

Even a casual remark about the eldest son, or the appearance of an old object, would cause the masters to change their expressions drastically and become overcome with grief.

The entire household kept the matter a closely guarded secret. Over time, all traces of the eldest son were quietly erased, and he was no longer mentioned to outsiders, as if the Ji family had never had such a brilliant eldest son.

But why would the young master tell Doctor Meng about such a secret old story?

Yunzhou's heart was in turmoil. He feared that in the young master's heart, Doctor Meng's position was far from ordinary.

Meng Yutong took in his shocked expression, slowly nodded, and said calmly, "It was Ji Yun who told me. He once said that as long as I wanted to know, he would tell me everything he knew."

She looked at Yunzhou quietly, her words a warning, but also a clear indication that there was no need to deliberately hide Ji Yun's past from her.

"Regarding his brother," she said, her voice softening, gentle yet authoritative, "could you tell me more about him?"

Yunzhou's face showed some struggle and difficulty, but this hesitation did not last long.

He quickly realized that since the young master had been so honest with Doctor Meng, there was no point in him hiding it now, and she would find out about these old things sooner or later.

Yunzhou's voice lowered, and he slowly said:

"Qingshu and I have been by the side of the young master and the eldest young master since childhood. The eldest young master, Ji Zhao, is a natural doctor. He is precocious and exceptionally talented. The old master has devoted his life's blood and expectations to him, carefully cultivating him, hoping that he can inherit the Ji family mantle and bring glory to the family. Unfortunately, the eldest young master was born with a heart disease and needs to be carefully cared for. Therefore, everyone in the mansion cherishes him and treats him with utmost care."

As he finished speaking, he paused slightly, as if recalling past events, and his voice became tinged with a complex warmth.

"As for our young master... when he was young, he was completely different from the eldest young master. He didn't like sitting idly reading medical books; instead, he preferred riding horses and shooting arrows. Back then, his eyes and brows were full of youthful spirit, and he was unrestrained and disliked being bound by rules. He often caused his master and mistress trouble because of his lack of ambition. However... at that time, everyone's attention in the mansion was focused on the eldest young master, and no one really bothered to investigate or restrain his unruly nature."

"The tragedy occurred... in the year of the eldest young master's sixteenth birthday." Yunzhou's voice suddenly became hoarse. "Seeing that his elder brother was bored in the mansion all day, the young master thought of ways to cheer him up and specially bought a pigeon from outside. But unexpectedly... when the eldest young master was taking his medicine, the pigeon suddenly fluttered up and startled the medicine bowl. The eldest young master was startled and choked, his heart disease suddenly flared up, and he... he died."

"Although this was not the young master's intention, he himself sowed the seeds of disaster. The lady was heartbroken and fell ill, and the old master's hair turned completely white overnight. The young master... was overwhelmed with remorse and knelt outside the old master's courtyard for a long time. That night, it was pouring rain and the cold was biting, and he just knelt there straight in the rain, and no matter who tried to persuade or pull him up, he did not budge... At that time, he was only twelve years old."

"At dawn, he made a solemn vow in front of the closed courtyard gate, from then on he would put away his bow and arrows, take over his elder brother's unfinished ambition, study medicine diligently, and shoulder the responsibility of the Ji family."

"That kneeling, chilled to the bone, left a permanent ailment on his shoulder; that promise sealed away all his past carefree and joyful spirit. From that day on, he confined himself to his study and pharmacy, never again showing any trace of his former carefree demeanor, until he later entered the Imperial Medical Academy and became the cold and taciturn Physician Ji in everyone's eyes today."

Meng Yutong listened silently, but her heart was filled with complex emotions that were difficult to calm down.

When she first met Ji Yun, she felt that he was like a person covered with a layer of ice, cold-hearted and indifferent, as if he was born to be a doctor, and had no joy or sorrow other than that.

She even felt that he was like a sophisticated but cold machine, operating only according to duty and rules.

Even now, Yunzhou's few words have allowed her to glimpse the deliberately buried childhood beneath the ice.

It turns out that such a cold and lonely temperament was not innate, but was gradually honed by the lives of loved ones, by a torrential downpour, and by countless days and nights of self-reproach.

He abandoned his love, took on the responsibilities of an elder brother, and lived as a shadow of another person, all to atone for a sin buried deep in his heart. It was as if only by treating himself so harshly could the gnawing guilt be lessened in the slightest.

She suddenly felt that Ji Yun was... somewhat pitiful.

No wonder he was always cold towards her after she married into the Ji family in her previous life.

To him at that time, she was merely a responsibility bestowed upon him by his family, another shackle he had to bear, not the object of his heart's desire. So he closed himself off even more tightly, and no matter how hard she tried, she could not open the tightly closed door to his heart.

Thinking of this, Meng Yutong felt a sudden, inexplicable sense of emptiness and helplessness.

At the beginning of her rebirth, she did harbor resentment and hatred towards him. But now, knowing all the causes and consequences, and finding herself in a situation where everyone seems to have their own troubles and no one can control their own destiny, her former attachment and concern for the past seems to have long lost its solid foundation.

Given their respective predicaments, it's difficult for her to firmly blame any particular person.

All the past grievances and entanglements seem to have little significance at this point, as it is difficult to delve into who was right and who was wrong.

She let out a long, silent sigh, suppressing all her surging emotions, and her face regained its usual composure. She looked up at Yunzhou, steer the conversation back to the present:

"So, after the eldest young master left, Qingshu, like you, followed Ji Yun?"

Yunzhou nodded hurriedly: "Yes. Qingshu is a bit stubborn. He suffered from a serious illness in his early years, and it was the eldest young master who stayed up all night and personally pulled him back from the brink of death. On the day the eldest young master had the accident, he actually wanted to run into a pillar to follow him, but Princess Jin'an, who happened to be in the mansion, discovered him and stopped him at the cost of her life."

Meng Yutong's eyes flickered slightly, and she understood.

So that's how it is. With this background, everything makes sense.

Qing Shu's loyalty and remorse towards Ji Zhao, and Jin An's gratitude for his "life-saving grace," intertwine to make Qing Shu the most handy and most concealed knife in Jin An's hands.

Later, Jin'an wanted to use poison to get rid of her as an obstacle, and starting with Qing Shu was the best approach.