Chapter 45 Favorability -50 Negotiate

"That must have been the eunuch who brought me back. There are no men in the palace!" It must have been dark; her mother hadn't seen clearly. "As for carrying me, he was probably worried he wouldn't be able to support me properly."

Faced with Lu Wensheng's confident assurances, Song Zhiyun couldn't help but fall into self-doubt.

That makes sense, but would the palace need such tall eunuchs? They're practically touching the top of her door. She should have lifted the veil of the person who came last night to check their appearance; she was careless.

No, she had just caught a glimpse of the eunuch delivering the items; his clothes were dark blue, while the person from last night wore light purple.

She grabbed Lu Wensheng's other ear again and retorted, "No, that person was wearing light purple clothes and was very tall, so he definitely wasn't a eunuch!"

“Besides the eunuchs and guards, the only other people in the palace are the Crown Prince.” Lu Wensheng grabbed Song Zhiyun’s wrist to stop her from using force. “The Crown Prince certainly won’t condescend to escort me home, so it’s just plainclothes guards.”

Seeing Song Zhiyun frowning and struggling, Lu Wensheng carefully advised, "Mother, although I accidentally got drunk outside, I didn't cause any trouble!"

And she didn't experience any hangover symptoms at all; no headache, no fatigue, and full of energy. The wine she drank yesterday was so sweet; it must have had a lot of good stuff added. I need to find a chance to ask Shen Hegui for some so her mother can have some to nourish herself.

"You didn't cause any trouble this time, but what about next time?" Song Zhiyun threw down the feather duster in annoyance. "What if you lose consciousness and someone finds out? Or what if you're unlucky and the Crown Prince finds out on the spot? I'm not afraid to die with you, but I'm afraid you'll die first!" There won't even be a chance to save you.

"It was an accident, a complete accident! I never expected that sweet wine to be so strong, making all my hard work on my alcohol tolerance go to waste." Lu Wensheng raised his hand. "I swear, I will never drink outside again!"

Her mother must have been terrified to see her come home unconscious.

"Remember what you said." Song Zhiyun released Lu Wensheng's earlobe and said irritably, "Also, who did you drink with last night?"

He got so drunk that he dragged her in the middle of the night, saying he wanted to have a wedding ceremony under the moon. She'd seen brothers marry their sisters before, but this was the first time she'd ever seen a daughter dragging her mother to a wedding ceremony.

That's outrageous!

Lu Wensheng rubbed his earlobe: "Crown Prince."

"What?!" Song Zhiyun's voice was distorted with shock.

Lu Wensheng quickly raised his index finger: "Shh! The Embroidered Uniform Guard expanded its recruitment a few days ago. Mother, keep your voice down. If the Embroidered Uniform Guard eavesdrops on our family, life will be difficult."

Song Zhiyun lowered her voice: "Do you still remember what you did in the south? You dared to get drunk in front of the Crown Prince. If you accidentally said something you shouldn't have, and your identity was exposed, you'd probably be dead without a trace!"

Song Zhiyun paced back and forth a couple of times, then suddenly grabbed Lu Wensheng's arm and advised, "If you walk by the river long enough, you're bound to get your shoes wet. Why don't we resign from our official posts and go back to our old profession?"

“Resigning suddenly is unreasonable and might even backfire.” Lu Wensheng patted Song Zhiyun’s hand to comfort her. “Besides, they need me to monitor the court’s policy trends. I promise I won’t do it again, so please rest assured, Mother.”

"I can't argue with you, so this won't happen again!" Song Zhiyun gently poked Lu Wensheng's forehead. "Go wash up and go eat. I made your favorite meatballs."

"good!"

Seeing the door close, Lu Wensheng let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness he wasn't beaten!

She was awakened by Aunt Ren's sharp questioning. The moment she woke up, she was filled with endless fear. But as the pillar of the family, she couldn't panic, couldn't be afraid, and couldn't fall into endless panic.

So she pretended to be nonchalant and stopped her mother from tolerating her mother without any limits.

Fortunately, Feng Gou delivered the official robes and rewards, proving that she had not been exposed.

But we need to find out what happened last night.

Lu Wensheng stepped forward, lifted the blanket on the bed, grabbed Xiao Yuan, and questioned, "What happened after I got drunk?"

Xiao Yuan: [I don't know. If the host loses consciousness, I will fall into a deep sleep.]

She remembered that whenever her mind went blank or she had a blackout, the original character settings controlled by the plot would come out and cause trouble.

Lu Wensheng suddenly had a bad feeling: "So the original character came out to cause trouble last night?"

Xiao Yuan: [No, the plot can't control people who have lost consciousness. I have good news for the host.]

Lu Wensheng met its big, beady eyes: "What good news?"

Xiao Yuan: [The male lead's favorability has increased to -50, and the side quest "Cheese Pickup Lines" has been completed at 6/6. Congratulations, host!]

"Grass!" A type of plant.

Lu Wensheng was startled, but quickly regained his composure.

Judging from Feng Gou's reaction, Shen Hegui probably didn't take it seriously. Then again, if she were a real man, she definitely wouldn't tolerate a man coveting her buttocks.

Those who can become emperors are different; they're so magnanimous! For the sake of her future, she'd better find an opportunity to explain things clearly.

It feels so good to see my favorability rating increase so much all of a sudden!

Lu Wensheng put Xiao Yuan down: "So what's the next task? Tell me."

The sooner she reaches a certain level of favorability, the sooner she can see the later VIP chapters. She is quite curious about when Shen Hegui will ascend the throne and how many women will be in his harem. Of course, what she is most curious about is the fragrant meat.

Xiao Yuan: [Still in the cooling-off period, can't take on the next one.]

Well! I rarely want to grind, but I don't have the chance.

...

In a side room of the Zhaoyu prison, Shen Hegui stood in the shadows, taking off his blood-stained outer robe and putting on a clean one.

Outside the screen, Lin Shoubai stood with his head bowed, reporting the amount of stolen silver confiscated from the temple and the filth he had witnessed.

Lin Shoubai: "...The total amount of silver is six million taels, not including land, forests, real estate, etc. In addition to the above-mentioned crimes, they also used the secret practice of dual cultivation as bait to lure female believers into having sex with them, resulting in pregnancy."

He tossed the blood-stained clothes into the brazier for warmth and said calmly, "It's more profitable than being a corrupt official. The national treasury's annual tax revenue is only six to ten million taels."

Lin Shoubai lowered his head, not daring to reply. It was indeed far too arrogant.

Shen Hegui: "By my decree, from this day forward, all preferential treatment for monks and nuns shall be abolished. Private ordination shall be strictly prohibited. Men who wish to ordain shall memorize one hundred pages of Buddhist scriptures, and women shall memorize seventy pages. They shall be granted ordination only after passing an examination by the government, and each family may only have one ordination. All temples that have not been granted a temple designation by imperial decree shall be demolished. Copper Buddha statues and ritual implements from the public and temples shall be acquired and used to mint copper coins."

Lin Shoubai quickly took out his notebook and wrote it down.

After fastening his belt and caressing the soft fabric, Shen Hegui couldn't help but recall the sweet words Lu Wensheng had spoken in the carriage.

"I must be under your spell. Only intimacy can cure it. Kiss me now!"

"Besides poverty, what can trap me is you!"

"...You smell so good, the air is sweet wherever you are, I want to smell it for the rest of my life!"

"Guess why I feel tightness in my chest? It's because you, my little devil, are stuck in my heart! I'm going to marry you tonight!"

Shen Hegui couldn't help but smile, curling his fingertips as he touched Lu Wensheng's face.

Lu Wensheng's face was even smoother than the fabric of his clothes, so Feng Gou must have already delivered the imperial edict and rewards to the Lu family.

Since his body is reacting to Lu Wensheng, he must become the one on top, so he needs to relearn how to do it immediately.

Thinking of this, Shen Hegui stepped out from behind the screen and said to Lin Shoubai, who was standing silently, "When I return to the palace, you will personally interrogate the remaining few. Zhou Fuguan has been caught red-handed, and Chen Xin has been accused of embezzlement and bribery, deceiving the emperor and being unworthy of his title. They will be beheaded together tomorrow and their families will be exiled two thousand miles away."

Lin Shoubai: "Yes! Respectfully seeing Your Highness off!"

Did I see that right? His Highness was actually smiling! Well, the national treasury crisis is temporarily resolved. I wonder who came up with such a good idea.

In the palace, Feng Gou had just fallen asleep when his son, Gan, shook him awake.

Feng Yi: "Godfather, His Highness needs to see you! Get up quickly, you can sleep later!"

Feng Gou was helpless.

What kind of mess has he made?!

After quickly getting ready, Feng Gou arrived at Zhaowu Hall, where Shen Hegui usually slept.

He bowed and asked, "I wonder what Your Highness has summoned this old servant for?"

Shen Hegui put down the picture book in his hand, spread out the paper, picked up his pen and asked, "I have a question. I heard that you were married before, and I would like to discuss it with you."

Feng Gou's heart skipped a beat: "Your Highness is too kind. This old servant will certainly tell you everything I know."

Those are all ancient stories from many years ago, yet Your Highness knows them!

Shen Hegui stared intently at Feng Gou and said in a deep voice, "I understand that a man's first time is no different from a woman's first time; it is painful in most cases. Do you remember how long your husband suffered during your wedding night? What preparations were made before consummating the marriage?"

"This...this old servant really can't remember. Back then, it was my parents' arrangement and the matchmaker's command. I had no joy in my heart, I just wanted to complete the task as soon as possible. The consummation of the marriage was a natural progression, and this old servant only prepared a hangover soup that night."

Feng Gou hesitated for a moment, then suggested, "This old servant recently adopted a new godson who has just entered the palace. Coincidentally, he used to be a homosexual. Why don't I call him over to enlighten Your Highness?"

Your Highness has it tough, he's resorting to all sorts of desperate measures. How can men and women be treated the same? Luckily, he's smart and has specially prepared someone who knows everything.

The crane returned with its head bowed.

About fifteen minutes later, a handsome young eunuch knelt down inside the hall.

Shen Hegui went straight to the point: "When two men make love, what preparations should the one in a superior position make for the first time?"

Upon hearing this, the little eunuch turned pale, stammered, and dared not speak, his whole body trembling.

Feng Gou lightly kicked him twice with the tip of his shoe, offering a hint: "His Highness's inquiry is your good fortune. Answer carefully, and His Highness might grant you your freedom!"

Shen Hegui frowned: "What's wrong with him?"

Feng Gou bent even lower and carefully explained, "Your Highness, please forgive him! He was beaten by his family and couldn't bear to hear anything related to male homosexuality. He came from a scholarly family and was a dispensable illegitimate son. His father was ashamed of him and repeatedly disobeyed his father, so he castrated him and sent him to the palace. When this old servant met him, his genitals were almost rotten."

Shen Hegui didn't understand: "Just because he's gay?"

Feng Gou: "Yes!"

Shen Hegui said, "Even tigers don't eat their cubs, how can you call yourself a scholar!" He decided to leave the palace and ask someone for advice, deciding to deal with government affairs later that evening.

Just as Shen Hegui was about to dismiss him, he saw him raise his head, his face deathly pale, and hiss, "I have answered Your Highness's questions. I beg Your Highness to allow me to leave the palace and give me another sword!"

Seeing the burning hatred in his eyes, Shen Hegui answered without hesitation: "Granted!"

Another pitiful person like him, who didn't love anyone, so why did he even give birth? Is saving face really that important?

The young eunuch spoke in a trembling voice: "If you truly love each other and desire a lasting relationship, you must not be too rough at the beginning to avoid hurting others and yourself; if the incident occurs in a place where it is inconvenient to clean, you should prepare sheep intestines to avoid getting them contaminated with filth..."

The brush, dipped in thick ink, suddenly stopped, and the sturdy nanmu wood imperial desk shattered into pieces with a loud crash.

Shen Hegui gritted his teeth: "Speak! Keep talking! I'll remember it with my brain."

He hadn't considered this before, but since he didn't dislike Lu Wensheng, he probably wouldn't mind Lu Wensheng's... filth when the time came!

Feng Gou kicked the frightened eunuch with trepidation and urged, "His Highness wants you to continue!"

"...However, it's best to wash up and be clean when it's over. Since Your Highness has asked this question, you must have taken a fancy to a certain man. Have you discussed who should be on top and who should be on the bottom?"

As the last drop of ink fell to the ground, the brush held by Shen Hegui's fingers shattered into pieces.

There was absolutely no discussion about this!

-----------------------

Author's Note: The cheesy pickup lines were hastily compiled from some research, inspired by Emperor Shizong of the Later Zhou Dynasty's restrictions on Buddhism. "Liver" (肝) is censored as "dry" (干), otherwise it would be censored as "口口" (mouth). "Female dry silver" (女干银) is another censored term [doge emoji].