Chapter 4 The song he sang, a tangled web of emotions.

When Zhu Liushuang finished washing up and entered the kitchen, she noticed that the keep-warm function on the rice cooker was lit. She lifted the lid, and a fragrant aroma of red dates wafted out.

I forgot to set the timer for porridge last night, so I guess my mother prepared it for her when she got up in the middle of the night.

Zhu Liushuang poured herself a bowl of red date porridge and placed it on the dining table, her gaze involuntarily drifting towards her mother's bedroom. The room was quiet, the wooden door ajar.

She tiptoed over, careful not to disturb her mother's rest.

But the mother was not asleep. She was half-lying on the bed, struggling to clench her five fingers into a fist and then opening them with difficulty, repeating this action many times.

Through the crack in the door, she couldn't see her mother's expression, nor did she hear a single groan. But Zhu Liushuang knew that her mother must be in a lot of pain.

When my mother, Gu Chunling, was young, she worked as a silk reeling worker in a state-owned silk factory in Gucheng. She worked year-round in the cold winter and hot summer workshop, her hands constantly immersed in water. Perhaps the root of her illness was laid during that time.

After her father's unexpected death, her mother, who was unemployed due to the wave of layoffs, found a cleaning job to support the family.

To earn more money, she often took on private jobs after completing the work assigned by the company, returning home under the pitch-black night every day.

Zhu Liushuang didn't know when her mother fell ill. Perhaps it was because she concealed it well enough, or perhaps it was because she herself was away studying and rarely came home that she neglected her.

By the time she realized it, her mother's joints were already affected, and her fingers were severely stiff in the morning.

During her junior year summer vacation, she dragged her mother to the rheumatology and immunology department, where they spent a lot of money on an MRI and a full immune panel. Ultimately, her mother was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.

The doctor said this disease is "the cancer that doesn't kill," requiring lifelong medication. It's relatively easy to control in the early stages, but if left untreated, it carries the risk of disability.

At that time, my mother's inflammatory markers were very high. The doctor prescribed medication and solemnly told them that they must not stop taking the medication without authorization and that they needed to have a follow-up visit every two weeks.

Four or five hundred yuan a month in medical expenses is no small sum for the Zhu family. And if you add in the cost of outpatient examinations, the figure goes up even further. Every time Zhu Liushuang returned from the hospital, she could see her mother sighing as she looked at the bill.

To supplement her family's income, her spare time was filled with part-time jobs.

She had always believed that her mother was diligently attending her follow-up appointments and taking her medication, since she always saw her mother taking her medicine whenever she came home for vacation. Furthermore, her mother's health had indeed improved significantly.

Little did they know, it was just a "white lie".

This illusion was suddenly shattered when Zhu Liushuang was about to start her internship as a senior.

That day, she received a call from Lü Feng. Lü Feng was panting and sounded anxious: "Liu Shuang, come home quickly, Aunt Gu's knee is immobile..."

Only then did she realize that her mother was not an obedient patient. To save money, she usually relied on painkillers and hormones to cope with her pain. As a result, her condition worsened, and her knee pain became so severe that she could not stand.

Upon learning the truth, she was overwhelmed with endless regret and self-blame. If only she had been more attentive, she wouldn't have been deceived by her outward composure. If only she had shown more concern for her mother and insisted on accompanying her to her follow-up appointment…

But there are no "what ifs" in life.

After leaning against the wall for a while, Zhu Liushuang rubbed her sore eyes, smiled faintly, and pushed the door open to enter.

"Mom—let me do it." She sat on the edge of the bed and skillfully massaged her mother's joints.

Since undergoing knee repair surgery, my mother has been able to stand and walk, but she still needs to rely on a combination of medications to control her condition.

Looking at her mother's deformed fingers, Zhu Liushuang said, "Mom, during last week's check-up, the doctor suggested trying a biological agent. The side effects should be fewer than using hormones and methotrexate together."

Gu Chunling hurriedly said, "There's no need. Ailamode alone costs a lot a month. Besides, once you start using the biological agent Ailamode, you'll have to keep taking it..."

“But biological agents are more effective!” Zhu Liushuang retorted. “Let’s apply for chronic and special disease treatment; that way we can get more reimbursement.”

“I read online that biological agents aren’t effective for everyone and can be addictive. Let’s not bother with them… Xiaoshuang, you’ve been doting on me all day since you graduated. You finally get a day off and you still have to go out and set up a stall. It breaks my heart.”

"But……"

"That's settled then. Right now, there's only one able-bodied person in the family. Look at Mom, she's doing just fine, she can walk and do some light work. Until I receive my retirement pension, let's save as much as we can."

The mother and daughter each had their own considerations, and neither could convince the other for the time being. Zhu Liushuang knew she couldn't win the argument, so she simply shut up.

Before leaving for work, she was still worried about her mother and hesitated to go out: "Mom, can you walk? Maybe I should take the next couple of days off?"

After freeing her arms, Gu Chunling sat up on her own, supporting herself on the bed. She turned her head and said, "I can walk, I can walk. You should go to work now."

"What about lunch? Shall I order takeout for you?" Zhu Liushuang asked, having changed into her rain boots and picked up a pair of clean sneakers.

"Takeout is expensive and not clean either." Gu Chunling smiled and waved to shoo people away. "Mom isn't useless. She can still take care of herself."

"Then remember to take your medicine on time. I've put it on the table." Zhu Liushuang reluctantly left the room.

————

Although it stopped raining that morning, the air was very humid and stuffy. The puddles on the ground hadn't completely drained, and when the electric scooter drove over a rather shallow puddle, mud splattered onto the shoes.

Having been delayed on the way, Zhu Liushuang arrived at the company building during peak hours for elevator use. She followed the crowd into the elevator, her bright yellow rain boots, covered in mud, standing out starkly against the scene.

However, she didn't care about the stares of others and kept her head down, reviewing her work for the day in her memo.

The finance office door was wide open, and Zhu Liushuang hurriedly walked in: "Sister Zhuang, good morning."

Zhuang Xiaoqian had just returned from the tea room, still holding the kettle in her hand: "How strange, it's rare to see you arrive later than me. Your dark circles are so obvious, did you have insomnia last night?"

Zhu Liushuang sat down at her workstation, bending over and slowly changing her shoes: "Hmm, I had a nightmare."

"I knew it, you haven't been acting right these past few days," Zhuang Xiaoqian said to herself as she made herself a cup of herbal tea. "Have you tried the app I recommended last time? It has all sorts of ASMR sleep radio stations, with live broadcasts every night. It's really effective."

Those midnight live streaming rooms with borderline labels and bizarre covers? Zhu Liushuang couldn't help but laugh.

Suddenly, she remembered the personal radio station she had accidentally clicked on last night. She was a little stunned, as if the man's pleasant voice was still flowing in her ears.

It really works!

She looked up, waved her phone at Zhuang Xiaoqian, and said, "Thank you, Sister Zhuang. I'll try it tonight."

Yesterday afternoon, because Wang Yizheng was causing trouble, Zhu Liushuang hadn't yet submitted the report to the Finance Bureau. After chatting with Zhuang Xiaoqian for a few minutes, she started filling out the report on the computer.

Halfway through the work, someone knocked on the door of the finance office; it was Guo Yang.

Zhu Liushuang looked up in surprise and asked, "President Guo, is there something you need?"

Guo Yang's hair was neatly combed, and he held a cup of Americano in his hand. He stood by the door and said, "Liu Shuang, come to my office. I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay, I'll be right there." Zhu Liushuang put down her work, picked up her notebook and pen from the table, and followed.

The general manager's office was at the end of the corridor, and the air conditioning was blasting. Zhu Liushuang got goosebumps as soon as she entered.

"Why do you look like a primary school student being punished by standing? Sit down—" Guo Yang took a sip of coffee and said with a smile.

Zhu Liushuang pulled out a chair and sat down, while simultaneously laying her laptop out on the table.

Looking at her diligent student demeanor, Guo Yang chuckled and said, "Actually, it's just three things. There are two training sessions next month, one about accounting system reform and the application for high-tech enterprise status. You need to send the registration form in advance. I'll send you the specific documents on DingTalk later. Also, there's a meeting with relevant personnel from Zhonghe Accounting Firm in the middle of the month..."

Although there weren't many things to discuss, there were still many points to note. Guo Yang spoke slowly, taking over ten minutes in total. Zhu Liushuang picked out the key points and wrote them down one by one.

"Your habit of taking notes all the time is quite good," Guo Yang praised her with a half-smile, then reminded her, "By the way, the firm assisting us with this application is a partner of the head office, and I went to great lengths to get them here. Make sure to treat them well."

"Understood, Mr. Guo." Zhu Liushuang closed her notebook. "If there's nothing else, I'll head back and get back to work."

"Go ahead," Guo Yang waved his hand. "Close the door behind you when you leave."

Seeing that Guo Yang looked tired and hadn't had enough rest, Zhu Liushuang tiptoed out of the office, closing the door as quietly as possible.

She silently turned around, only to find Wang Yi standing by the wall not far away, watching her.

That look made one feel extremely uncomfortable. Zhu Liushuang forced a calm demeanor, put on a professional fake smile, and asked, "What is it, Master Wang?"

Wang Yi looked away and fiddled with his name tag: "Oh, it's nothing. I just saw you rushing to Guo's office and didn't want to bother you. As for yesterday... I was too hasty. I apologize now."

Although the person in front of me apologized, their tone was dismissive and lacked sincerity.

Zhu Liushuang didn't want to argue with him and politely replied, "We're all colleagues, Master Wang, you're too kind."

A sweet smile graced her delicate face, but upon closer inspection, one could see that the smile didn't reach her eyes.

Wang Yizheng composed himself, nodded, and walked past her back to the technical department. Zhu Liushuang watched his departing figure thoughtfully, lingering in the corridor for a while before leaving.

On the way back, they ran into Zhuang Xiaoqian, who had just finished using the restroom, and the two went into the finance office together.

As soon as the door closed, Zhuang Xiaoqian's gossip instincts kicked in: "Liu Shuang, President Guo came to your office in person. What's the matter?"

Zhu Liushuang opened her notebook, looked at the key points, and replied seriously, "It's about next month's work situation. Oh, by the way, there's a training session, we have to go together..."

"Huh? Is that all? Did he really have to come all that way in person? It's just a DingTalk message..." Zhuang Xiaoqian asked suspiciously, "Is there anything else?"

Seeing Zhuang Xiaoqian's disappointed expression, Zhu Liushuang couldn't help but make up a story: "I forgot one thing... He said he would give me a promotion and a raise."

"How much? How much?"

"It's not that easy to get a raise, I'm just kidding."

Zhuang Xiaoqian suddenly had another thought: "Mr. Guo is such a busy person, yet he personally came to call you to assign you some work. Do you think he might have feelings for you?"

"Sister, stop talking nonsense!" Zhu Liushuang filled in the last data on the report and said, "Maybe they were just passing by... Did you send the transfer request from Yinhu Company? President Guo is still waiting for confirmation..."

One sentence finally stopped Zhuang Xiaoqian from gossiping.

————

That night, Zhu Liushuang suffered from insomnia again.

During lunchtime, Zhuang Xiaoqian suddenly became very interested in discussing with her the bus crash that occurred more than ten years ago in Gucheng.

Zhu Liushuang listened absentmindedly and echoed a few words.

Finally, Zhuang Xiaoqian scrolled through her Weibo page and exclaimed in surprise, "Netizens are really amazing! They can still tell such vivid stories about news from so many years ago." Suddenly, she paused, "Liu Shuang, what a coincidence! The driver even shares your surname!"

Zhu Liushuang, who was drinking soup, choked, her eyes darkening. When she looked up again, however, there was no sign of panic on her face. Her tone was indifferent: "Is that so? What a coincidence... This driver is truly an innocent victim."

The second half of the sentence was spoken very softly, like a sigh.

After tossing and turning in bed for a while, Zhu Liushuang, just like last night, clicked on the "Human World and Plants" radio station.

This time, she didn't randomly click on a program, but scrolled through the page for a long time before finding the first episode and starting to listen.

She set a timer to turn it off after half an hour. But time passed so quickly, half an hour after half an hour... An hour and a half later, she had listened to two-thirds of the program, but she was becoming more and more awake.

When the song "Memories Can Only Be Relived" suddenly rang in her ears, Zhu Liushuang almost jumped out of bed.

Her dark eyes stared silently at the phone screen, but her mind raced uncontrollably into the river of time she had hidden away.

Is it him?

She asked herself the same question over and over again.

A note from the author:

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The rheumatoid arthritis medications mentioned in this chapter are from the internet. Immune diseases are increasingly affecting younger people in recent years, causing both physical and psychological distress. Medication use varies from person to person and is not effective for everyone. Dear friends, please remember to cultivate healthy lifestyle habits and take care of your health!

This chapter features the song "Memories Can Only Be Relived," and I recommend you listen to the Good Sister Band's version. (Author's note: Senior He's voice is similar to the lead singer's, but not as gentle; it's more detached and cool.)

Next, I'll start writing about Shuangshuang's memories of her senior! (Rubbing hands excitedly)

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