·70｜Exclusive to Jinjiang·70 (Buy with caution)

It mainly involves Matsuda's feelings.

Mr. Lai Chuan looked at his daughter, who was on the hospital bed with an oxygen tube attached to her, and held her thin, bony fingers as she stopped eating and drinking. Tears streamed down his face. Mr. Lai Chuan was hunched over, looking ten years older overnight.

“Mr. Lai Chuan,” a man in a suit pushed open the door and came in, “there’s been a new development over there, we should go.”

Mr. Lai Chuan lowered his gaze, his hoarse voice revealing his exhaustion: "Understood."

He turned to Matsuda Jinpei and said, "I'm leaving. They still need me there. Please keep my identity and my past a secret."

Matsuda Jinpei nodded: "Yes."

He slumped back in the folding chair, his eyes fixed on the woman who was still fast asleep on the bed.

Mr. Raikawa stood up. Instead of leaving with his subordinates, he went to Matsuda Jinpei and bowed deeply to him: "Mr. Matsuda, I have a request."

Matsuda Jinpei looked at Mr. Raikawa in silence; he had already guessed Mr. Raikawa's request.

Mr. Lai Chuan's voice trembled even as he sighed: "I know you are good friends with Officer Hagiwara and my daughter, and I'm asking you to help my daughter out for now. I know this is inappropriate, but I really don't know who else I can ask for help."

This was the first time Mr. Lai Chuan had humbled himself to ask for help since joining the police department, and the person he was asking was a junior: "Please."

Matsuda Jinpei tilted his head back and closed his eyes, countless memories surging within him. He nodded slowly, his breathing heavy: "Yes, don't worry, I'll take good care of Yomi."

But if Matsuda Jinpei can't get over it himself, how can he help Yorikawa Yomi?

Wearing the same black suit day after day, Matsuda Jinpei was paying tribute to Hagiwara Kenji. Countless times he had been trapped in nightmares, watching helplessly as someone important passed away before his eyes.

In the dream, Kenji Hagiwara squatted at the end of the corridor, holding his phone and chatting with a bomb.

"Hagi!"

Matsuda Jinpei ran towards him with all his might, but the path suddenly stretched and lengthened. His legs felt heavy, and no matter how hard Matsuda Jinpei tried, he couldn't catch up with Hagiwara Kenji.

"Hagi!!"

The explosion rang out suddenly. Matsuda Jinpei watched helplessly as Hagiwara Kenji melted away in the thick smoke and flames, and could only be passively thrown over by the heat wave. His body slammed against the concrete ground, causing him great pain. Matsuda Jinpei rolled a few times, coughing and brushing away the charred dust in front of him. When he looked up, he was horrified to find Raikawa Yomi lying in front of him, her blood vessels cut open and her body covered in blood.

"The Yellow Springs!"

He pulled the soaking wet Lai Chuan Huang Quan into his arms, but she gradually grew cold in his embrace.

Then, Matsuda Jinpei woke up from a nightmare, covered in sweat.

Cold sweat trickled down his back as Matsuda Jinpei gasped for breath, staring at the gray ceiling. He slowly sat up, one hand on his forehead, and was about to breathe a sigh of relief when he was shocked to find the soft bed beside him empty; the woman who should have been sleeping was nowhere to be seen.

"The Underworld!?"

A wave of fear washed over him. Matsuda Jinpei sprang up from his makeshift bed, his eyes wide, even forgetting to breathe. Every muscle was taut like a bowstring ready to be released. Just as he was about to turn on the bedroom light and rush out to find someone, the door was opened from the outside first.

The woman who pushed open the door had an unhealthy pale complexion, with slightly sunken cheeks. She held the doorknob in one hand and a glass full of warm water in the other.

Matsuda Jinpei stopped in his tracks as he tried to rush out of the room, staring blankly as Yomi Yorikawa pushed the door open and entered: "Yomi?"

Lai Chuan Huang Quan smiled and handed the cup in his hand to Matsuda Jinpei: "Drink up."

The warm touch traveled from the glass to his palm. Matsuda Jinpei took the water, but his eyes remained fixed on Raikawa Yomi without blinking. Long-term anorexia had taken a toll on her complexion; her once smooth black hair was now slightly yellowed, dry, and split at the ends.

Lai Chuan Huang Quan sat down on the edge of the bed, her slightly curly long hair falling over her shoulders. She looked at Matsuda Jinpei, her eyes crinkling into a gentle smile: "You just had a nightmare, didn't you? I see you're all sweaty."

Matsuda Jinpei didn't speak. His gaze was questioning as he scanned Yomi Yorikawa's body and the water glass in his hand. After a moment's hesitation, he tilted his head back and wolfed down the warm water.

The last drop of water trickled down the tilted side of the cup and into his mouth, slowly moistening his parched throat. Just as Matsuda Jinpei put down the cup, Raikawa Yomi suddenly stood up from the edge of the bed and knelt down in front of Matsuda Jinpei.

"yellow……"

Matsuda Jinpei only managed to utter one syllable before Raikawa Yomi hugged him. He froze, looking down at the woman nestled in his arms, unable to react for a long time.

After a moment's hesitation, Matsuda Jinpei wrapped his arms around Raikawa Yomi's waist and patted her back gently as if comforting a child, his movements clumsy.

Yomi Laichuan was already quite thin, and long-term malnutrition made her appear even smaller and sickly thin. Matsuda Jinpei loosely wrapped his arm around Yomi Laichuan, not daring to exert any force. He was even worried that if he used too much force, he would break Yomi Laichuan's waist.

Yomi Lai hugged Jinpei Matsuda tightly, burying her face in the crook of his neck. Her warm breath sprayed on Jinpei's neck, and Yomi Lai trembled like someone dressed in thin clothes in the cold wind. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and said slowly in a low voice, "Thank you, Jinpei."

Yomi Laichuan, supporting Matsuda Jinpei's shoulder, straightened up from his embrace: "You're clearly in pain too, yet you still take care of me."

Lai Chuan Huang Quan frowned, her sky-blue eyes filled with vulnerability and helplessness, as if she were crying silently. She stared intently at Matsuda Jinpei's sea-blue eyes, which were as bright as stars: "When I had nightmares, you lay down next to me and gently patted my back; when I had no appetite and refused to eat or drink, you patiently fed me bite by bite; when I was seriously ill and hospitalized several times, you took leave to come back and take care of me."

"Really, thank you."

Yomi Laichuan relaxed her body and leaned back into Jinpei Matsuda's arms.

She hugged Matsuda Jinpei, the only source of warmth in the room, as if only in this way could she slightly warm the heart in her chest that had died a hundred times: "Don't worry, I'll get back on my feet soon."

"I have already..."

"...It's alright now."

I can't be willful anymore, and I can't cause Matsuda Jin any more trouble.

Lai Chuan Huang Quan forced herself to compose herself and managed a gentle smile. She used her sleeve to wipe the thin layer of sweat from Matsuda Jinpei's forehead: "Sleep, I'm right here, I won't leave."

They won't act recklessly anymore.

...

Matsuda Jinpei, carrying a black suit jacket, pushed open the door and said, "Yomi, I'm home."

When Yomi Lai came out of the living room to greet him, Jinpei Matsuda was already sitting in the entryway, having changed his shoes.

Lai Chuan Huang Quan smiled and took Matsuda Jinpei's coat, tucking it into his arms: "You've worked hard. Come and eat, I bought a lot of groceries, including your favorite tempura and teriyaki beef."

"You've worked hard," Matsuda Jinpei said, raising his hand to pat Yomi Raikawa's head. "Did you receive your graduation certificate?"

Influenced by the tragic death of Kenji Hagiwara, Yomi Yorikawa took a year off from her studies and spent a long time recovering. Today is the day she receives her graduation certificate.

Lai Chuan Huang Quan first neatly folded Matsuda Jinpei's coat and placed it on the sofa armrest before smiling and showing off his graduation certificate: "Look, I graduated first in my class."

“That’s great,” Matsuda Jinpei smiled. “What are your plans for the future? Do you want to continue your studies in graduate school? I remember the University of Tokyo recommended you for graduate school.”

After saying that, he casually placed the sashimi platter full of ice on the dining table, loosened his tie, and tossed it onto the sofa. "I bought you a super-sized portion of sashimi."

Lai Chuan Huang Quan tore open the sashimi packaging, picked up a sweet shrimp and put it directly into his mouth: "I plan to go out to work. I used up all my savings half a year ago, and it's not a long-term solution to keep relying on you for help."

"What do you mean by 'helping out'..." Matsuda Jinpei turned into the kitchen and brought out bowls and chopsticks. "Go pursue a master's degree. I'm getting a promotion next month, and I'll take you to Hokkaido then. Come and eat."

"good."

Over two years, a tacit yet subtle relationship developed between Matsuda Jinpei and Yorikawa Yomi.

Yomi Lai would bring fresh food after class and wait for Matsuda Jinpei to get off work. Occasionally in the morning, she would stand in the entrance hall and say to Matsuda Jinpei as he went to work, "Go home early."

Lai Chuan Huang Quan: "I'm done with get out of class. What should we eat tonight? I'll go buy it."

Matsuda Jinpei: "You can go home early today. I'll cook dinner. You can go to the supermarket and buy whatever you want to eat."

Just two years ago, he couldn't cook at all.

Matsuda Jinpei and Raikawa Yomi maintained a delicate cohabitation relationship. They were not married, did not even confirm their relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend, and never even made a formal confession.

They were like two people abandoned by the world, comforting each other in the freezing cold. Like a match soaked by the rain, they burned desperately, just to let the other feel even a little warmth.

Two people who are too similar gradually come together, finding warmth and reliance in each other.

Hagiwara Chisato once stared into Matsuda Jinpei's eyes and asked him, "What are your feelings for Yomi-chan?"

Matsuda Jinpei, a cigarette dangling from his lips, repeatedly ground the bright brown butt with his molars, turning his head to look out the window at the clouds drifting slowly in the direction of the wind.

Silence fell between them. Hagiwara Chisato waited quietly for a while, then sighed and turned to leave. Just as she was about to walk away, Matsuda Jinpei finally spoke.

His throat bobbed, and his voice was heavy, like a sponge soaked in rainwater.

"I have no idea."

Out of a desire to help a childhood sweetheart; or out of care for a friend; or perhaps it has become a habit; or perhaps... out of love.

Matsuda Jinpei didn't know.

But he was just used to being with Yomi Laichuan. He was used to the first thing he did when he opened his eyes was to check if Yomi Laichuan was by his side, and he was used to taking a detour after work to the snack shop that Yomi Laichuan used to frequent to bring home a hot bowl of oden... and that eventually developed into their current relationship.

Through countless long and numb days and nights, they embraced in the rain, warmed each other in the cold winter, and listened to each other's heartbeats in the quiet of the night.

Everything seems to be getting better.

But a fake is a fake, and it can never become real.

Yomi Laichuan would occasionally hide in his room and secretly shed tears, and Jinpei Matsuda still hadn't taken off the black suit he wore to commemorate the past.

Lai Chuan Huang Quan also cried last night.

She curled up in the blankets, biting her lip hard to swallow her broken sobs. Her abdomen convulsed with the rhythm of her sobs; she dared not cry out loud, afraid of disturbing the man beside her.

The sheets were soaked with tears. Lai Chuan Huang Quan reached out from under the covers and groped in the darkness, trying to find the tissues placed on the bedside table.

She fumbled around for a while, when suddenly someone grabbed her hand and stuffed a stack of tissues into her palm.

Lai Chuan Huang Quan paused, remaining silent for a long time before pulling the blanket aside and cautiously peeking out. Her eyes were swollen from crying, tears forming a blurry curtain in her vision.

"Zhen Ping..."

Matsuda Jinpei noticed Yomi Raikawa's crying early on, but he didn't point it out. He simply sat quietly on the edge of the bed, keeping her company through the soft blankets. Matsuda Jinpei frowned, a helpless smile playing on his lips, but a chilling autumn wind seemed to blow deep within his bright eyes: "Cry, I understand."

Lai Chuan Huang Quan pursed her lips and looked at Matsuda Jinpei, seemingly trying to hold back her tears. But the tears in her eyes kept welling up until they overflowed again. She threw herself at Matsuda Jinpei, throwing herself into his open arms, no longer trying to suppress her sobs.

The warm embrace tried to soothe her icy heart. Matsuda Jinpei simply held Raikawa Yomi tightly in his arms, pulling her close without a word. Raikawa Yomi's tears streamed down her face as she called out Matsuda Jinpei's name again and again. But they both knew she was crying for the man who would never return.

They are like tree trunks hollowed out; the damaged exterior can be repaired, but the hollowed-out core is difficult to rebuild. Only through careful, long-term care can the damaged parts be slowly mended.

Matsuda Jinpei and Yorikawa Yomi embraced tightly, feeling each other's presence; they were each other's last hope.

Two wounded lone beasts licked each other's wounds.

They leaned on each other.

[Author's Note]