Chapter 36: Longing

A strong wind blew through the branches, and large raindrops pounded against the window, the "pitter-patter" sound waking the person from their nightmare.

Yu Bai opened her eyes and found herself lying in an unfamiliar room. She instinctively struggled and felt a sharp pain in her hand. She looked down and saw an IV needle inserted into a blue vein on the back of her hand. Clear liquid flowed into her body through the IV tube. Because of her struggle, bright red blood had flowed back into the IV tube. She had no choice but to lie down. Her forehead was still burning hot. She put her other hand on her forehead, where it felt a little cool.

"Bai Bai, you're awake." It was Uncle Jiang's voice, filled with worry and urgency.

He pushed open the door and came in, placing an ice pack on Yu Bai's forehead.

Yu Bai remembered that last night she walked in the rain for a very long time until she was exhausted and lost consciousness. Just before that, she called Uncle Jiang.

"Uncle Jiang, thank you." Yu Bai was weak and feeble, barely managing to utter a complete sentence.

Jiang Feng sat on the edge of the bed, his eyebrows furrowed. "Bai Bai, did you and Ji Zhou have a fight?"

The name Jiang Jizhou pierced Yu Bai's heart again. For a moment, she couldn't even breathe, like a drowning person who had given up struggling.

Yu Bai gently shook his head.

Jiang Feng understood that they must have had a fight, otherwise why hadn't Jiang Jizhou called him to ask about Yu Bai's whereabouts? But seeing Yu Bai's sickly and painful appearance, he didn't say anything and told Yu Bai to rest well.

Yu Bai was left alone in the bedroom. She lay quietly on the bed, cold tears silently streaming down her cheeks and into the hollow of her neck. She stared blankly at the ceiling with her eyes open, afraid to close them. If she did, all she could see were those memories that had once made her feel as sweet as if she were in a honey pot, but now felt like a thousand arrows piercing her heart.

She couldn't help but want to curl up into herself again. It was so painful, so painful that she wanted to die. Why was she being treated like this? Yu Bai was in so much pain that she couldn't control herself.

She tried to empty her mind, to become a blank, to think about nothing, to act like a walking corpse in order to alleviate the ever-present pain.

Soon, a sense of irritability overwhelmed her. She picked up her phone and started scrolling through news from all over the world, focusing her attention on things that were far removed from her and had nothing to do with her. Tears were still falling slowly, "drip, drip—" like water droplets on an old water pipe.

After that, a tremendous emptiness seeped into every pore of her body. She felt like a sponge filled with emptiness, so heavy that she couldn't breathe. She threw her phone away, and the image of Jiang Jizhou taking care of her when she had a fever flashed through her mind.

That gentleness was just a colorful bubble under the sunlight, easily burst with a single poke.

But she's like a fool, already fallen for him. How can she break free? It's like being cut to pieces, bloodied and mangled, until she gets used to the pain, just like she used to his love.

The tears had all dried up, and the IV drip had finished.

Yu Bai closed his eyes. That's it.

Yu Bai lived here, living with Jiang Feng.

Jiang Feng could clearly see that Yu Bai was like a flower that had been plucked, visibly withering away day by day. She was thin, pale, weak and taciturn, and often lost in thought. Her condition was no longer suitable for her to go to school normally, so Jiang Feng asked for leave for her.

Her slumber was getting longer and longer. Jiang Feng pushed open the bedroom door. The curtains were tightly closed. She was lying on the bed, fast asleep. Jiang Feng walked to the bedside. The first time he saw her was when Xiao Yu brought her to the house. She was thin then, but now she was much thinner than then.

Jiang Feng felt heartbroken and guilty. Some time ago, Xiao Yu called him to tell him that she was about to return to China. If she returned and saw the daughter she had entrusted to him in this state, how could he explain it to her?

"Uncle Jiang." Yu Bai slowly opened his eyes, saw Jiang Feng, and struggled to sit up, but he was too weak to move.

"Bai Bai, you can just lie down."

Yu Bai felt weak and listless, but she thought it was fine. She hadn't even thought about Jiang Jizhou these past few days.

"Are you sick? Uncle Jiang will take you to the hospital to get checked out."

Yu Bai shook his head, "Uncle Jiang, it's nothing, I'm not sick."

She thought that she was probably not physically ill, but her heart was the problem.

"Your mother will be back soon." Uncle Jiang sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at Yu Bai with a kind expression, hoping the news would cheer her up.

A glint flashed in Yu Bai's eyes, but it wasn't a look of happiness; rather, it was a look of relief.

There was nothing left for her to cherish in this city she couldn't bear to leave. In fact, she wanted to escape as soon as possible. She felt that every breath she took reminded her of Jiang Jizhou's face.

"Do you want to see Ji Zhou one last time?" Uncle Jiang asked her.

A deathly stillness returned to Yu Bai's eyes. She blinked, her heart aching inch by inch. It turned out that the pain had become an ever-present companion. She shook her head.

"I'm so sleepy, Uncle Jiang." Yu Bai pulled the blanket over his face to ease the pain.

Jiang Feng sighed softly, got up and left.

After he went outside, he dialed Jiang Jizhou's number, "What happened between you and Bai Bai?"

Jiang Jizhou scoffed, "Didn't she tell you?"

Jiang Feng sighed, "I don't care what happened between you two. You're leaving for nothing. You should apologize to her properly."

Is she leaving? Jiang Jizhou's grip on his phone tightened unconsciously, and his eyes darkened.

"What does this have to do with me?"

The noise from his side was deafening, the DJ music was deafening. When Jiang Feng heard his words, he was so angry that he almost choked, but then he heard a charming female voice, "A-Zhou, I don't know how, teach me to dance."

He nearly vomited blood in anger, and yelled, "You're a senior in high school and instead of studying, you're hanging out with shady girls in bars!"

After saying that, Jiang Feng realized that Yu Bai was still sleeping inside the room, so he moved away from the bedroom.

Jiang Jizhou chuckled, "I learned it from you."

Jiang Feng's brow twitched. He decided to tell Jiang Jizhou the truth, "Let's meet, about your mother."

Jiang Jizhou paused, and Xiaoxiao was already pressed against him. He pushed her away and walked out of the bar. "Where shall we meet?"

"Cloud Edge".

Jiang Feng rarely goes out, but that madwoman Lin Yun keeps pestering him, demanding that he and Jiang Jizhou return their child.

He didn't let the driver drive; instead, he took a taxi quietly to Yunbian, a restaurant that had been open for decades. He and Jiang Jizhou's mother often ate there before Jiang Jizhou was born, and after Jiang Jizhou was born, it became a family of three going there.

The restaurant owner has retired, and now his daughter, a loud-voiced woman who is very good at business, has taken over.

Upon seeing Jiang Feng, she immediately greeted him, "President Jiang is here! It's been quite a while since you've been here."

"I've been busy lately," Jiang Feng chuckled. "Has that kid Ji Zhou arrived yet?"

"In a private room."

Jiang Feng immediately strode to the private room, pushed open the door, and saw Jiang Jizhou sitting in a chair, still looking lazy and cynical. Jiang Feng couldn't help but feel annoyed. Although he was his own son, what had he done to Yu Bai, a young girl?

He sat down opposite Jiang Jizhou, somewhat angrily, "You haven't cared about your sister at all these days?"

Jiang Jizhou raised an eyebrow. "My mother only has one son, me."

“Jiang Jizhou, you…” Jiang Feng was furious. “Do you know that Bai Bai is so thin she’s practically unrecognizable?”

Jiang Jizhou lowered his eyes, his gaze unfathomable.

Jiang Feng sighed, and was about to describe Yu Bai's recent situation in detail when the door to the private room was pushed open.

A woman dressed as a waitress came over with the dishes and placed the plates on the table.

"Why aren't you leaving yet?" The woman had finished putting down the vegetables but was still standing there. Jiang Feng, who was consumed by anger, only then noticed her. He looked at her and was stunned for a moment. "Lin Yun, what brings you here?"

Lin Yun gave her a crazy smile, "Brother Feng, you don't want me anymore. My child was killed by your son. I want him to pay with his life."

As she spoke, Lin Yun raised the hidden fruit knife and stabbed at Jiang Jizhou. Jiang Jizhou was thinking about Yu Bai and was distracted, so he didn't notice and couldn't dodge in time. Jiang Feng blocked the knife for him, and blood flowed from his chest, staining the knife red. It dripped onto the ground and pooled in blood.

“Dad!” Jiang Jizhou blurted out.

Lin Yun threw down the fruit knife and called out to him, trembling, "Brother Feng, I didn't mean to kill you."

After the excruciating pain subsided, Jiang Feng's consciousness began to blur. He looked at Jiang Jizhou and said, "What happened last time was something I, Dad, was sorry for. Forget about her..."

He fainted before he could finish speaking.

Lin Yun screamed and ran away frantically.

Jiang Jizhou's face also paled. Ignoring Lin Yun, he took out his phone and dialed 120.

At the hospital.

Jiang Feng was rushed to the emergency room for treatment. Jiang Jizhou stood in the hospital corridor, leaning against the white wall. The chilling feeling unique to hospitals, like the feeling of death, seeped into his veins. The pungent smell of disinfectant temporarily cleared his mind. His drooping fingers trembled slightly. He raised his hand to cover his face, his hand still stained with blood.

Several hours later, the rescue ended, and Jiang Feng was transferred to the ICU, where he was still in critical condition.

Jiang Feng's phone was in Jiang Jizhou's possession. Because it was too late and he hadn't gone home, Yu Bai called him.

After the call connected, her gentle voice came through, "Uncle Jiang, are you still busy?"

It felt like an eternity as he listened quietly to her breathing.

After waiting for a long time without any news, Yu Bai spoke again, "Uncle Jiang? What's wrong?"

Jiang Jizhou spoke, his mouth sounding rusty, with a metallic taste of blood spreading through it, "It's me."

"Hmm," Yu Bai said, "Where's Uncle Jiang?"

Her tone was as if she were talking to someone insignificant. A strange emotion flashed through Jiang Jizhou's mind. He lowered his eyes and suddenly longed to see her.

"At the hospital."

Yu Bai arrived quickly, accompanied by her mother, Ms. Yu. Ms. Yu had already handed over all her work abroad and returned to China ahead of schedule. Upon returning, she came to Nancheng to pick up Yu Bai, since Yu Bai was not from Nancheng and needed to return to her place of household registration to take the college entrance examination.

"Ji Zhou, long time no see! Last time I saw you, you were just a tiny little thing. Now you've grown into a handsome young man." Ms. Yu greeted Jiang Ji Zhou, but Jiang Ji Zhou responded with indifference and disgust. She didn't notice and quickly looked at Jiang Feng.

Jiang Jizhou and Yu Bai stood facing each other.

She had lost a lot of weight in the few days since I last saw her, like a withered flower, faded and colorless, and her gaze toward Jiang Jizhou was extremely calm.

As Yu Bai walked over, he brushed past Jiang Jizhou, who then grabbed his wrist.

"Are you satisfied now?" Yu Bai felt a sharp pain in her wrist, and she laughed mockingly.

"Seeing you like this makes me very happy." His voice was cold and restrained, and then he released his hand.

Yu Bai's heart was so numb that she could no longer feel the pain. She just murmured softly, like a dream, "You asked me what I wished for that day. My wish was for you and me to be together forever."

After saying that, she staggered away and went to the ward.

Jiang Jizhou stood there alone, his heart suddenly feeling empty, as if something very important was missing.

-

On the day Uncle Jiang was discharged from the hospital, he told Jiang Jizhou the truth about his mother's death.

That day, the same day Yu Bai left Nancheng, it rained in Nancheng.

Jiang Jizhou felt as if a torrential rain had fallen on his heart, and his heart felt as if it had been torn apart by a hurricane. He rushed out of the hospital.

Jiang Jizhou frantically tried to contact Yu Bai, even using Jiang Feng's phone to call Yu Bai, but Yu Bai had already boarded the plane and her phone was switched off.

After that, he tried calling again, but the number was disconnected.

After that, everything disappeared without a trace, and Yu Bai vanished completely from his world, as if he had never existed.

Five months after Yu Bai left Nancheng, the flowers that she and Jiang Jizhou had planted together in the villa courtyard were in full bloom, attracting bees and butterflies and teeming with life.

She still exists in every little detail of Jiang Jizhou's life, tormenting him. He is immersed in that memory, which was the happiest time of his life, brought to him by Yu Bai.

He didn't want to remember, so he began to deliberately forget, as if he had never cared.

At the class reunion after the college entrance examination, someone mentioned Yu Bai, and everyone looked at Jiang Jizhou.

But Jiang Jizhou just smiled casually, as if he had heard an insignificant name.

During his university years, he thrived thanks to his outstanding looks and privileged family background, attracting a large number of girls who were attracted to him.

He seemed to have completely forgotten Yu Bai. He didn't reject flirtation, but when girls wanted to take things further, he cruelly withdrew and never had a serious relationship again.

The following winter, Mingjing and Chen also got together, and they invited Jiang Jizhou to dinner.

At the dinner table, Mingjing ignored Chen Ye's gaze and brought up Yu Bai.

"If you knew you had no heart, why did you have to provoke Bai Bai?" Mingjing said, feeling indignant on Yu Bai's behalf.

Chen wanted to stop her, but Jiang Jizhou forced a smile and asked Mingjing, "Do you still have contact with her?"

Mingjing shook his head. After Yu Bai left Nancheng, he lost contact with all of them.

Jiang Jizhou got up and left.

On a snowy night, Jiang Jizhou went to sweep his mother's grave. As he descended the steps of the grave, it felt like he was back on that rainy day.

He held her soft, cold hand, and they made a promise to stay together.

Thousands of lights illuminate the gentle snowy night.

Jiang Jizhou sat alone in the car, took out a lighter, which Yu Bai had given him that year, and had been using it ever since. He lit a cigarette and leaned back in his seat to smoke.

He vaguely saw Yu Bai's figure. She was wearing a pink down jacket with bunny ears and a white scarf. She hopped around like a bunny and threw snowballs at him.

"Brother, play with me." She only smiled so brightly in front of him.

Jiang Jizhou felt a cool sensation on his face and thought it was snow, but he touched a wet tear.

Only then did I realize how deeply I had missed him, and suddenly I understood that my beloved was gone.

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Author's note: The campus portion is now over!