The stray dog ​​taps its head, the old monk taps his wooden fish...

Pei Xuanzhi, dressed casually in a black robe, knelt by the bed and silently washed her hands for the third time.

Yan Huanyue lay lazily on the bed, looking at the light blue curtains hanging on the copper hooks.

A wisp of wind slipped in through the crack in the window, causing the curtains to sway slightly. She said slowly, "The window wasn't closed tightly, and a wisp of wind drifted in. It's chilly in the mountains at night; be careful you don't catch a cold again."

Pei Xuanzhi gave a soft "hmm," took her hand out of the clean water, wiped it clean, and placed it carefully on the bedding before getting up to pour out the water and closing the window.

When I returned, the curtains had already been drawn.

He stood alone by the table, glanced at the candles that were mostly burned out, and then looked at the curtains with their flickering candlelight.

The first time in his memory happened so unexpectedly.

After it happened, the pleasure couldn't outweigh his concern for her opinion. He was still in a daze and hadn't fully recovered, but fearing she would find it disgusting, he hurriedly got out of bed to clean up the mess he had made.

The matter was just settled when, in the blink of an eye, it was abandoned outside the tent.

In Yan Huanyue's view, he had been avoiding her all the way, and just now when he was drawing the talisman, he had aroused desire for her, someone he didn't know very well. After taking care of it briefly, he immediately packed his clothes and jumped off the bed.

He remained mostly silent, his silence bordering on dejection, perhaps lamenting the loss of his virginity.

Yan Huanyue inexplicably didn't want to see his dejected appearance, so she quickly lowered the curtains to avoid making him feel awkward.

Besides, hasn't he always preferred to sleep on the table rather than in bed?

The candlelight flickered, and a voice outside the tent said in a cold tone, "Sister, your clothes are dirty, please change them."

Yan Huanyue said, "It was just changed."

There was silence outside the tent for a while, then suddenly the lights went out.

Yan Huanyue turned to pull at the blanket beside her, but the curtains were pulled open, and a wisp of cold fragrance fell in out of nowhere.

Before she could ask anything, Pei Xuanzhi took advantage of the darkness to climb onto the bed and lie down next to her, pulling the blanket she had pulled over to cover himself, still saying nothing.

Yan Huanyue said softly, "Young Master has been avoiding me like the plague all along, so why is he willing to share a bed with me now?"

Pei Xuanzhi looked into the darkness before him and whispered, "I'm sorry..."

Yan Huanyue closed her eyes slightly. "Why are you saying sorry?"

Pei Xuanzhi said in a calm and indifferent voice, "I never expected to drag you into doing that kind of thing. I thought I would hate myself, but... I don't seem to have time to hate myself..."

I'm busy gloating and reveling in my shame, and I long for you to look at me and scrutinize me.

If you have mercy, grant me a little pleasure; if you are cruel, then watch me struggle and plead endlessly in your hands, only to receive no benefit or relief whatsoever...

He exhaled calmly and said casually, "Because it was so comfortable, I'm still reminiscing about what just happened. I want to do it many more times, so I'm sorry."

Yan Huanyue suddenly turned around and covered his mouth, threatening in a low voice, "If you say that again, I'll throw you out."

Pei Xuanzhi let her warm palm cover his lips. After a long while, he suddenly rolled over and pressed himself against her, his voice low and deep:

"Perhaps my motives were impure to begin with. When I asked you to draw the talisman for me, I was secretly hoping for something. I've never been a good person..."

Never having seen someone analyze themselves so thoroughly, Yan Huanyue asked, "So, you wicked thing, what are you trying to do?"

Pei Xuanzhi lay on top of her, his nose slowly tracing the surface of her neck, his thin lips gently kissing her throbbing veins, his voice hoarse as he said, "Now that things have come to this, I am now your true husband, am I not?"

Yan Huanyue reacted quickly and knew who he was arguing with.

It's all the same person, so what's the point of arguing about it?

If we're really going to argue about this, then what they did just now was hardly anything.

Thinking back to how easy it was to fool him when he knew nothing, Yan Huanyue was too lazy to explain further. She wasn't in the mood for that tonight either, so she casually replied, "Yes, you're right."

Pei Xuanzhi said calmly, "Then we can sleep together tonight. Can you hold me while you sleep?"

The wet licks slid across the loose collar of the clothes.

Yan Huanyue was forced to tilt her head back, gently patted his back, loosely put her arm around his shoulder, turned to lay him down beside her, patted him with one hand, and said softly:

"Then get some rest. Behave yourself. You see, you didn't used to like being this close to people, and you never used to cling to me like this. We were just fine the way we were before."

Pei Xuanzhi and she shared a soft pillow, the space feeling a bit cramped. He was taller than her and was secretly snuggling closer to her.

Hearing this, he paused for a moment, coughed a few times, and moved aside slightly. With a hint of doubt, he asked in a low voice, "Is that so?"

Yan Huanyue closed her eyes and whispered in the darkness, "Would I, an honest and simple person, lie to you?"

Pei Xuanzhi said, "Not necessarily."

He is most sincere when he is lying; the bigger his goal, the more benevolent and earnest he appears.

Yan Huanyue chuckled, tugged at his sleeve, and said, "What good would it do me to lie to you?"

Pei Xuanzhi secretly sniffed her scent and said in a low voice, "Using the past me to judge the present me, I have forgotten the past. Only you have the right to decide. You can say whatever you want. I can only obediently listen to you."

Yan Huanyue said, "As you say, am I deceiving an ignorant youth?"

Pei Xuanzhi fell silent, seemingly in agreement, and after a moment said, "You might want me to get even further away."

Yan Huanyue hugged him and patted his back, laughing, "No, but you can be quite funny sometimes. Could you leave that boundary marker? I'll try to figure out why you've lost your memory. I went in to look for it when you were unconscious. I went down once, but the cold pool was too big, so I didn't expand the search area. I also had to take care of you, so I didn't stay long and found nothing."

Pei Xuanzhi finally nestled into her arms, enjoying the compensation and comfort that the deceived deserved.

He would agree to anything she said at this point, so he simply said in a low voice, "Okay. I will get out of seclusion as soon as possible. Father used to keep me locked up for several days."

"It could be January or February, or even March. You've been sick several times this time, so a year or two should be appropriate."

Pei Xuanzhi suddenly opened his eyes and sat up abruptly.

He did need a place to search for jade coins, and he did intend to go into seclusion, but it wouldn't take this long.

January was already the longest he had anticipated, how could it take this long!

As soon as he got up, he spread the blankets wide, letting in a draft. Yan Huanyue tightened the blankets, tugged at his sleeve, and asked, "What are you doing?"

Pei Xuanzhi said, "I'm not going. It takes too long. I don't cultivate mental techniques, so what kind of secrets can I possibly develop? You go out during the day and come back at night, while I stay at home and don't go out. It's the same thing, and I can even sweep the courtyard at home."

Yan Huanyue smiled lazily, "The spiritual medicines and spirit stones prepared for the seclusion have been quite costly. How can you just refuse to go because you say so? Quiet cultivation is more conducive to your recovery. Don't you know the advantages and disadvantages?"

Pei Xuanzhi remained silent for a long time before whispering, "But won't my sister miss me?"

Yan Huanyue wanted to laugh but dared not. It was just a seclusion. Some cultivators even secluded themselves for a hundred years. Their teachers, friends, fellow disciples, and Daoist partners would certainly not interfere.

They had rarely been apart since they got married. She thought of him when she went to the ghost market. After being apart for so long, it was inevitable that she would think of him.

But it's not enough to stop him from going anywhere, especially since it's beneficial to him and not a bad thing. Yet he reacted quite strongly.

Yan Huanyue reached out and put her arm around his waist. He was thin, so his waist was also slender and thin.

Rather than the rumor that male demons are naturally endowed with such a strong waist and abdomen, Yan Huanyue suspected that it was because he had coughed a lot since childhood, which gave his waist and abdomen extra exercise.

With her eyes closed, she said in an exceptionally sincere tone, "If you're asking me if I'm reluctant to part with you, then I'm definitely reluctant. But there's nothing I can do. You agreed first, and it wouldn't be good to suddenly go back on your word. How about this, you go first this time, and I'll come to pick you up when you come out of seclusion, okay? Rest first."

This time, Pei Xuanzhi naturally didn't doubt the truth of her words. He gently took her hand, which was resting on his waist, and intertwined their fingers. After a moment of contemplation in the darkness, he said softly:

"I always feel like I've missed something..."

Yan Huanyue was almost asleep when she suddenly heard him say something. She didn't quite catch it and only asked, "What?"

Pei Xuanzhi lay down beside her, pulled her into his arms, kissed her forehead, gently patted her back to lull her to sleep, and whispered:

"Speaking of that little world, I suddenly remembered that you said there was a whirlpool in the cold pool that sucked people in. Why did that woman disappear that day, but I floated to the surface?"

Yan Huanyue nestled in his arms, inhaling his cool fragrance, and drowsiness gently washed over her. She murmured intermittently, "You're holding the horizontal sword, which bears my blood incantation. I'll bring you up no matter what."

Pei Xuanzhi held the warm person in his arms, and after hearing her words, he couldn't help but lower his head and kiss her forehead a few more times.

Yan Huanyue rubbed against his clothes, feeling irritable in her sleep, and mumbled a complaint in her drowsy state: "Don't kiss me, your lips are so cool, they'll ruin my good sleep."

Hearing her express such disdain for him, Pei Xuanzhi's heart instantly softened.

Like scorching red and yellow lava, it bubbled and boiled chaotically, constantly gushing out from beneath the steaming fissures in the earth, melting away all obstacles, and flowing freely with sizzling white smoke and water vapor.

He couldn't help but hug the source of her tenderness tightly, gently patting her back, resting his chin on the top of her smooth, soft hair, and coaxing her softly:

"Then I won't kiss you, Sister Huanyue... Sleep well, just dream of me..."

Even if she was annoyed that his heartbeat was bothering her, he felt he could find a way to die for a while first, or take out his heart and hang it on the screen in the room to calm down.

The feeling was strange; he had never thought he could so greedily crave and indulge in the intimacy and comfort that he once loathed.

When he was young, one early autumn rainy night, he was taken on an outing by Young Master Lu and spent the night in a deserted temple.

Although it was early autumn, he had worn out and thin clothes all year round when he was a child, and the cold was intense. Even in summer, he could hardly feel any warmth.

Looking back now, it's clear that it took a lot of his demonic energy to survive and grow up, given his naturally weak body.

That night, he coughed for a while as usual. For the first time ever, Young Master Lu took pity on his weak body and condescended to hold him while he slept, to help him warm up.

She suddenly asked with concern, "Ah Xuan, how come you're getting more and more beautiful? Even the portraits of immortals I saw today don't compare to you. Are you a boy or a girl?"

He stood at the foot of the bed, refusing to approach, but firmly replied, "I am a boy."

Young Master Lu said with a grin, "But how can you be sure? Come here, let me see what a boy has, and then take off your clothes and let me see yours. We'll compare them, and if they're the same, then it's true."

He was ignorant, but he knew shame. He keenly sensed a subtle danger, but he didn't know how to refuse, so he could only quickly find an excuse to reply: "Young master, I'm cold and can't take it off. If I get sick, it will cost money for medicine."

Young Master Lu said kindly, "Then hurry up and come to the bed. This quilt is making me sweat. I'll hold you and warm you up. If you dare to get sick, my mother will skin you alive when we get back."

When someone who usually bullies and abuses you suddenly becomes kind and friendly, their intentions are certainly not simple.

He made an excuse to go fetch firewood and ran out the door, only to be chased by Young Master Lu into the backyard.

The backyard of Naya-ji Temple is a mountainous area, and behind the mountain is a ravine, because the temple did not build a backyard wall.

He was kicked several times, vomited blood, and then Young Master Lu shoved him onto a pile of firewood, tearing at his clothes while cursing:

"You little bastard, a lowly servant, a sickly ghost. Even if you were a demon, you'd only be something to be played with. It's your good fortune that they even bothered to look at you. Even if I torment you to death, who would care? And you dare to run away!"

He had long harbored resentment towards Young Master Lu, and at that moment, filled with hatred, he mustered the strength from who knows where, and gouged out a bloody eyeball from Young Master Lu's eye socket.

In that instant, he knew he could never go back to Chang'an.

But the feeling of crushing an eyeball with five fingers was subtle; the slippery blood flowed from his hands, like clutching damp mud.

The man who had been so arrogant moments before collapsed at his feet, clutching his eyes in pain, screaming in heart-wrenching agony.

As someone else's blood flowed down to his toes, he suddenly realized that he actually liked the feeling.

He recalled a word, a word spoken by Young Master Lu when he sewed the eyes of a stray dog ​​back on: torture...

“Stray dogs, homeless, without parents, wife, or children, Ah Xuan, look, it’s just like you. You kinds of creatures, barely surviving in this world and not even knowing how to be grateful, always trying to wag your tails and beg for some pity.”

"But who knows if it might suddenly turn into a snake in the farmer's mouth and bite someone else? So, dealing with things like you, killing it in advance is already too lenient. I'll sew up its eyes and mouth and see how many days it can live."

A corner of my heart seemed to melt instantly, and a kind of excited pleasure surged through my veins.

In an instant, the chaotic golden mist devoured his dark heart and emerged from behind him for the first time.

On an autumn night in the mountains, it rose and twisted like an inextinguishable flame, revealing his uncontrollable bloodlust.

The deep chanting of sutras came from the small meditation room in the backyard, and the sound of the wooden fish drifted in from the night.

There lived a gaunt old monk, the only monk in the temple. When he first arrived, the old monk said he lived there to watch over the firewood in the backyard.

He didn't care about any of that; something good on the ground was much more attractive to him.

With his thin, weak hand, he skillfully gouged out the other eyeball, stuffed it into Young Master Lu's mouth, and forced him to swallow it by choking him.

He was very young at the time, and he did not feel any reluctance, which seemed to be a kind of talent.

Just as not everyone has the ability to cut the neck of a sleeping person, because the person wielding the knife may feel neck pain the moment the blade is pressed against someone's neck.

He wanted to pick up the axe, but he couldn't lift it, so he chose a rock about the size of his palm.

He tapped his head, and the old monk tapped his wooden fish.

At first, Young Master Lu would scream and beg for mercy, but later his head would sag like water, and he would become completely limp and stop screaming. Gradually, he lost interest.

The mountain night was cold. He coughed as he dragged the corpse to the edge of the ravine, took all his money, and kicked it down.

Perhaps even the jackals, wolves, tigers, and leopards in the mountains need alms.

Now, the whereabouts of Young Master Lu's remains are unknown, while he lies in a warm tent, embracing his wife.

The hand that could smash a person's head into a pulp could gently stroke her long hair, whispering sweet nothings and whispering intimately, an endless tenderness and affection...

That night, standing on the mountain ravine where the autumn wind was biting, he also clasped his hands together and recited a Buddhist chant.

The old monk didn't go out to check or stop them, but perhaps he did strike his wooden fish and say something along the lines of: "Seeing sentient beings in the six realms, poor and without blessings or wisdom, trapped in the perilous path of birth and death, suffering endlessly, deeply attached to the five desires, like a yak clinging to its tail, blinded by greed and unable to see anything. They do not seek the Great Power Buddha or the Dharma to end suffering, but instead delve into wrong views, using suffering to abandon suffering. For the sake of these sentient beings, I arouse great compassion..."①

However, that's not his path...

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Author's Note: ① This is from the "Second Chapter, Expedient Means," of the Lotus Sutra.