Chapter 37 37 He wanted to use the child to keep her by his side.

Recently, Gu Zhan has had all the official documents he needs to handle moved to Qingluan Palace. After court, he no longer goes to Qinzheng Palace as before, but instead goes to Shen Mi's Qingluan Palace. The palace servants in the Eastern Palace all say that His Highness dotes on Consort Shen and cannot be separated from her for even a moment. When Gu Zhan heard this, he did not let Sun Cheng stop him, but instead said to let them do as they pleased.

As long as Shen Mi is obedient, doesn't disobey him or give him the cold shoulder for Su Xingjian's sake, and doesn't have any unrealistic ideas like divorce, and is willing to stay obediently in the East Palace and be a good concubine like she was two years ago when they first got married, he can give her anything.

Gold and silver jewelry, fine silks and satins, a prestigious status, and the child she had always wanted most—he could give her all of that, but on one condition: she had to be obedient and compliant.

He likes people with tempers, but dislikes those who are too opinionated, and he cannot tolerate anyone going against him. On this point, he believes he has tolerated Shen Mi many times.

Only Shen Mi dared to act like this in front of him; anyone else would have been dead long ago.

After Gu Zhan finished reading the official document in his hand, he raised his hand to pick up the next one, and his gaze inadvertently fell on Shen Mi.

The girl was sitting at a table not far from him, holding a book in her hands. She looked calm, her eyes lowered, and the lamplight cast shadows on her face, making her skin appear even more like porcelain.

Her slender fingers slowly turned the pages of the book, and all that could be heard was the sound of the pages turning; otherwise, not a sound could be heard at all.

Gu Zhan stared at her, momentarily lost in thought, and noticed that the corners of her lips were slightly curved.

It was as if he had only promised her that he would go with her to the Daxiangguo Temple to add eternal lamps for her mother and brother in a while, and she was so happy and so easily satisfied, as if they had returned to the time when they had just gotten married.

At that time, Shen Mi would neither argue with him nor make a scene. Even when he simply asked her to come closer and massage her head, she would be so nervous that she would forget to breathe.

Shen Mi's mind was in turmoil. She was thinking about how to pretend in front of Gu Zhan during this time. Fortunately, everything went smoothly on the day she left the East Palace. She was also wondering if Gu Zhan had seen through her little thoughts, whether he had noticed the clues in her words, and whether he would go to Su Yuzhao to ask again. She couldn't calm down at all.

Therefore, she could only tell herself again and again that as long as she did not make any mistakes during this period and remained as careful as when she first married into the Eastern Palace, Gu Zhan would not think too much. Once he completely relaxed his vigilance, she would be truly free from this sea of ​​suffering.

Thinking of the beautiful rivers and mountains her teacher had told her about, she felt a surge of joy in her heart. As she imagined what the future held, she couldn't help but smile slightly.

But Shen Mi suddenly felt a gaze falling on her, carrying an indescribable meaning. She paused in turning the pages of her book, gently raised her eyes, and met Gu Zhan's gaze.

She dared not look directly at Gu Zhan. This man was extremely suspicious. If he noticed anything amiss in her eyes, all her efforts would be in vain, and she would have no other chance.

Gu Zhan saw her quickly lower her eyes and assumed she was afraid or shy, so he let out a short chuckle.

The nightgown that Shen Mi was wearing reminded him of an incident early last year when he returned to Qingluan Palace a little late and caught her playing the zither with a musical score.

So Gu Zhan turned his head to look at the zither that he had asked Sun Cheng to send to Qingluan Palace. Shen Mi used to love that zither very much, but he hadn't seen her touch it much lately.

He put down the official documents in his hand and casually asked, "Why haven't I seen you touching 'Fuyun' lately?"

Shen Mi paused slightly in her movements. She hadn't expected that Gu Zhan would still remember the name she had given to the zither. At the time, she had asked Gu Zhan to choose one of three names, and Gu Zhan ultimately chose "Fuyun" for her as the name of the zither. She wrote the inscription herself, and Gu Zhan later had a craftsman make a rubbing of the two characters and engrave them on the zither.

But she stopped touching the zither later because she wanted to gradually sever all ties with Gu Zhan, so she asked Cuiwei to remove it from her sight.

When Gu Zhan suddenly asked, she couldn't tell the truth, so she could only say half-truthfully, "Fuyun, one of the strings on my zither is broken, and I haven't had time to call someone to fix it."

"When the strings of the zither break, so does the thread of love." Gu Zhan suddenly remembered that when he came to see Shen Mi before, he thought that Shen Mi was going to commit suicide, but she just uttered this sentence lightly and then broke the strings of the zither. So she never touched it again after that.

A complex mix of emotions welled up in Gu Zhan's heart, and he finally said, "Have someone take it to the Qin shop in Bianjing for repairs tomorrow."

It's about repairing the strings of a musical instrument, and also about nurturing a bond of affection.

Shen Mi curled her fingers slightly and nodded gently, "I understand Your Highness's intentions."

As she nodded, the earrings by her ears and the hair ornaments in her hair swayed slightly, the pearl shadows falling on her neck, and her cherry lips opening and closing, almost making Gu Zhan's throat burn.

Gu Zhan, who prided himself on being calm and aloof from women, now felt that the official documents in his hands were a real drain on his energy.

He tossed the official document in his hand onto the table, stepped towards Shen Mi, stood behind her, leaned forward, placed his hands on the table in front of her, and pulled her into his arms.

Shen Mi's breath hitched. "Your Highness, this is..."

Gu Zhan's voice was a little hoarse, "It's getting late, get some rest and help me change my clothes."

Shen Mi was puzzled. Usually, unless she was sleepy and intentionally reminded, Gu Zhan rarely brought up the matter of resting and sleeping. Today, however, he was acting out of character. She couldn't ask too many questions, so she did as Gu Zhan said, straightened her clothes, got up, and raised her fingers to touch the jade belt at his waist.

With a "click," the hidden clasp on the jade belt was unfastened. Shen Mi went to look around at Zhan's waist, took out the jade belt and put it aside. Then, she stood on tiptoe to unbutton his collar and take off his outer robe. Just as she was about to drape his outer robe on the ebony clothes rack, she was pulled from behind and drawn into his arms.

Gu Zhan inhaled the fragrance emanating from her hair, placed one hand on her waist and abdomen, lowered his head to kiss her neck, and instead of touching her jacket, his other hand turned to the sash of her swirling skirt.

Shen Mi noticed his movements, reached out and pressed down on Gu Zhan's hand, trying to stop him.

Gu Zhan took a breath and whispered in her ear, "Zhi Niang, let's have a child, okay?"

If she had a child, she would consider the child before doing anything, and would no longer think about having any connection with Su Xingjian. She could stay peacefully by his side, and they would truly have a long future together.

Without waiting for Shen Mi to react, he pressed her shoulders, turned her around, and trapped her between himself and the bed.

Shen Mi's heart began to pound wildly; she had no idea what crazy things Gu Zhan was saying.

In the past, she would probably have been moved and felt that her suffering had finally come to an end, but not now. She had clearly heard Gu Zhan say that he was considering Yang Ping's suggestion to send her child to Su Yuzhao to raise. Even if Su Yuzhao had someone she loved, if Gu Zhan insisted on marrying Su Yuzhao into the Eastern Palace, Prime Minister Su would not refuse. If the daughter of the Su family entered the Eastern Palace, she would be the future Empress. At that time, Prime Minister Su would not only be the Chancellor of the Secretariat and the Chancellery, but also a duke in name and in fact.

She looked at Gu Zhan and said, "Didn't Your Highness say before that you didn't want an illegitimate eldest son?"

Gu Zhan looked into her eyes and said, "My child with you has nothing to do with whether it is born of a concubine or a legitimate child. I just want to have a child with you."

Shen Mi wondered if it was just her imagination, but she was surprised to see a hint of gentleness and coaxing in Gu Zhan's eyes, something she had never felt from him in the two years since their marriage.

But she doesn't seem to care about it that much anymore.

She was all too clear that she and Gu Zhan absolutely could not have another child. She was already planning to escape, and if she were pregnant and it was discovered before she could run away, she wouldn't be able to escape. And if it was discovered after she had run away, how could she bear to abort the child? But life was already hard enough for a woman, and she couldn't bear to let the child suffer with her after it was born.

Having a child now would only be a burden and a drag on her.

So Shen Mi tried her best to banish the thoughts that were making her lose her mind, and gently shook her head at Gu Zhan, "Please forgive me, Your Highness, I still can't forget that child who tragically died in Taiye Pond. It's my fault for not being able to let go..."

Shen Mi's words reminded Gu Zhan of the child he had lost because of his own considerations. Shen Mi had suffered a lot while pregnant with that child; it was his and Shen Mi's first child.

If it weren't for him, that child could have been saved.

Gu Zhan immediately lost interest and stopped what he was doing. He wanted to kiss Shen Mi's lips to comfort her, but Shen Mi turned her head away. He felt a little guilty, but he didn't mind. He gently kissed Shen Mi's lips, then stood up and said, "It's alright. We have a long life ahead of us. I will wait for you."

Shen Mi's back stiffened. How long could she and Gu Zhan really have left?

She thought that there was no answer to this question until she escaped the Eastern Palace, but she was unwilling to become a victim of Gu Zhan's political struggle and the decision to abandon his mother and keep his child.

Gu Zhan didn't say anything more. After letting her get up and wash, he lay down beside her and tucked her in.

Shen Mi's mind was full of things to do. She was about to force herself to close her eyes and go to sleep when she heard Gu Zhan suddenly bring up something beside her.

Gu Zhan said, "Zhi Niang, do you still remember that day last year on Qingming Festival?"

Shen Mi paused for a moment. Last year's Qingming Festival felt like a distant memory. On that day, she seemed to be going to the temple to add eternal lamps for her mother and brother, just like usual, but with Cuiwei. At that time, she had envied others who could be a couple, but she could not.

Gu Zhan reached his hand under the covers and grasped hers. "I actually returned from Yangzhou a day earlier that day. At normal speed, I should have arrived a day later."

Shen Mi was also somewhat dazed. She asked softly, "Why?"

Then she heard Gu Zhan say, "I wanted to come back before Qingming Festival and go to Daxiangguo Temple with you, but I arrived at the East Palace right after you, and the palace servants said that you had already left."

Shen Mi parted her lips slightly, instinctively wanting to look at Gu Zhan, but then restrained herself.

“Your Highness’s intentions are appreciated. In fact, I’ve always been used to doing this alone during Qingming and Winter Solstice. It’s nothing,” she said, a pang of sadness rising in her heart, and a feeling of pressure pressing down on her chest. “These are all minor matters, nothing to worry about.”

Gu Zhan heard her say "I'm used to it" in a nonchalant tone, but he felt uneasy inside. Was it really because he hadn't done enough?

He interlaced his fingers with Shen Mi's, "In a couple of days, I'll go with you."

"Mmm," Shen Mi responded with a nasal tone.

To Shen Mi's surprise, Gu Zhan actually said it would be in two days. In fact, it would be two days later, and she wouldn't even need to pretend to be friendly with Gu Zhan for a few more days.

Before setting off, she took out a hollow hairpin she had prepared from her dressing case and poured the sleeping potion powder that Cuiwei had secretly bought with the maid who had gone out to shop a couple of days earlier into the hairpin.

If she wanted to run, she could only run outside the East Palace, since the palace was heavily guarded and running away would be too difficult.

As instructed by her, Cuiwei had already concealed her identity and arranged for a merchant caravan to travel to Yanzhou. Once she was temporarily free from Gu Zhan's presence, she would quickly put on a veil, pretend to be a merchant in the caravan, and follow them out of the city. After escaping Bianjing, she would change to a new carriage and stay far away from Bianjing and Gu Zhan.

Gu Zhan patiently accompanied her to the temple to offer the eternal lamp and listened to the high monk preach with her, but Shen Mi's heart had been in turmoil since she left the East Palace in the morning.

She had never felt time pass so slowly, nor had she ever found listening to scriptures so boring. Her heart was filled with the urge to escape Gu Zhan's control, or rather, she was overjoyed.

As the carriage returned to the Eastern Palace passed by Fanlou, her planned escape route, Shen Mi gently tugged at Gu Zhan's sleeve and said, "Your Highness, I'm getting tired of the food in the Eastern Palace. It's been almost two years since I returned to Bianjing, and I haven't had a chance to visit Fanlou even once."

Gu Zhan understood what she wanted to do, told Sun Cheng to stop the carriage, and then turned to look at her: "You rarely make requests of me."

His eyes held a smile, but Shen Mi only felt nervous. So she slowly lowered her eyes and said, "It's just that I don't want others to know our identities. These are all businessmen, and I don't want them to be too nervous because of Your Highness and my presence, and neglect the other guests. How about we ask Eunuch Sun and the others to buy it at Fanlou and send it back to the East Palace?"

She was using a strategic retreat to advance, betting that Gu Zhan would take her feelings into consideration.

Sure enough, Gu Zhan said, "No need for such trouble." He raised his hand and lifted the curtain. "Just have Cuiwei and Sun Cheng follow along. The rest of you can wait here."

Shen Mi was startled, as this would make it easier for her to escape from Fanlou later.

It was almost lunchtime, and Fanlou was crowded. The more chaotic it was, the easier it would be to escape. The caravan that Cuiwei had arranged was waiting on the street behind Fanlou.

She dared not relax and followed Gu Zhan into Fanlou with trepidation. The waiter did not recognize Gu Zhan and assumed they were just an ordinary couple.

Gu Zhan requested a private room and asked her to order.

Shen Mi was a little nervous and had no appetite, so she casually ordered a few of Fanlou's signature dishes and a bowl of osmanthus pudding.

Before long, all the food and wine were served.

The closer she got to success, the faster Shen Mi's heart beat.

Gu Zhan frowned slightly and asked, "You look a little tired?"

Shen Mi's eyelids twitched, and she made up an excuse for herself: "Perhaps it's because I didn't sleep well last night."

Gu Zhan did not ask any further questions.

Under the pretext of tidying her clothes, Shen Mi had already hidden some of the sleeping potion that she had concealed in her hairpin under her fingernails.

At that moment, she pretended to accidentally knock over the wine cup, and the wine spilled onto Gu Zhan's clothes.

Gu Zhan looked down at the wine stains on his clothes, while Shen Mi took the opportunity to sprinkle a sleeping potion into the remaining wine in the glass in front of him.

The drug dissolves rapidly upon contact with alcohol, turning completely colorless.

Shen Mi pursed her lips: "Just now, I didn't hold the wine cup properly and spilled the wine on Your Highness. I hope Your Highness will forgive me."

"It's alright, I'll change when I get back." Gu Zhan glanced down at the wine stains on his clothes, then looked up at Shen Mi, his expression gentle and unconcerned.

Shen Mi was holding the handle of the wine pot, wanting to refill his cup, and Gu Zhan did not stop her.

"Your Highness, please drink this cup." Shen Mi offered Gu Zhan another cup of wine.

Gu Zhan stared at the slightly swaying wine, his gaze shifting to Shen Mi's still trembling wrist. He took the wine glass from her hand and said, "I won't punish you for this. After all, you only spilled the wine and dirtied my clothes. You didn't add anything to the wine, did you?"

Shen Mi's heart sank suddenly.

Did he notice?

No, he must be testing us.

Shen Mi tried to calm herself down. "Your Highness is joking. How could I dare to do such a thing?"

Gu Zhan didn't answer her. He took the wine glass, brought it to his lips, but didn't drink it immediately. Instead, he looked up, curled his lips, and said, "Really, you don't dare?"

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Author's Note: The next chapter will be a complete showdown! My little sister can't take it anymore and is going to confront Gu Gou completely!