Chapter 16

When she was a child, before Lin Jiu's father passed away, she was always taken care of by her grandmother.

So, she has a very good and close relationship with her grandmother.

Later, her grandmother went crazy due to the trauma caused by her father's death.

The roles between her and her grandmother began to reverse quietly. Before, her grandmother took care of her, and later, she began to take care of her grandmother.

Without her grandmother's love and protection, she tried to find Yang Bing, hoping to get some love.

However, Yang Bing seemed to be unable to love and was rarely affectionate towards her.

——

Lin Jiu attended primary school in Zhoukou Village, which had the only primary school within a radius of dozens of miles.

The primary school is not far from her home, and it only takes twenty minutes to walk there.

One day after school, Lin Jiu walked home alone.

When she was still a hundred meters away from her home, a boy of the same age as her ran from behind to the front of her.

She knew him; he was Murakami's kid, and he lived a little distance from her home.

She ignored him and just walked slowly at her own pace. Her home was almost there.

Unexpectedly, the boy quickly bent down, picked up a small stone from the roadside, and threw it at her, "Wild child without a father." After saying that, he ran away.

Even though she tilted her head when she saw his movement, the stone still hit her forehead.

She wanted to catch up with him and throw stones at him, but he ran too far and she couldn't catch up with him.

The first thing she did when she returned home was to find Yang Bing, hoping she would avenge her.

At that time, Yang Bing was sitting on a small stool picking vegetables, and Lin Jiu was squatting on the ground, angrily telling her what had happened.

Yang Bing casually glanced at her red forehead and frowned, without any comfort.

She said, "Next time someone hits you, hit them back."

Lin Jiu: “…”

And then, nothing happened...

Lin Jiu originally thought that Yang Bing would at least take her to the kid's home to have a confrontation.

I didn't expect that he would just send her away with just a few light words.

Well, from that time on, she knew that asking Yang Bing for help would not solve the problem.

When she was in the fourth grade of elementary school, she went to the teacher's office to get her final report card. Looking at the miserable grades on it, she lingered by the window outside the office for a while.

Through the glass, she saw the teacher gave several students nearly two hundred yuan.

After asking those classmates privately, she found out that boarding students receive subsidies every year.

money.

That's money.

After her father died, her mother lost her job and had no income.

At that time, she didn't know that her father had death compensation, she only knew that her family was very poor.

Every year they have to work hard on the farm, facing the earth and back to the sky, with only a meager income.

She rarely has new clothes in a year, and most of the time she wears old clothes that others don't want.

Knowing that boarding school could earn her money, she had the idea of ​​making some money.

After returning home, she stood in front of Yang Bing, looked up and said innocently: "Mom, I want to go to boarding school. There is money for boarding school."

She told Yang Bing what she had seen and what she had heard.

After hearing this, Yang Bing smiled and seemed very happy. He agreed to her proposal very readily.

This was a rare occasion for Lin Jiu to see Yang Bing smile.

Although it was Lin Jiu who suggested going to boarding school, he still felt a little disappointed when he saw Yang Bing agreed so easily.

However, the loss was soon dispelled by the joy of making money, and she felt that she was also a capable person.

After school started, Yang Bing packed her things and sent her to boarding school, and she only came home once a week.

After living in the boarding school, she finally understood why there was a subsidy. Life was indeed hard, especially in winter.

Every morning, she would go to the first floor and share a faucet with dozens of other children, get some cold water to brush her teeth and wash her face, and then go to morning self-study.

After morning self-study, I would grab my lunch box and go to the canteen to buy some fried tofu soup. If I got to the canteen too late and the soup was sold out, I would have to get some Lao Gan Ma or fermented tofu as a side dish.

The school cafeteria does not provide dishes, but only cooks the rice. The rice is not free, but students bring their own, or pay for it.

As for the dormitories, some of the windows were broken, so many children patched them up with bags. In winter, the wind was very strong and the cold wind blew directly into the room.

Dozens of children shared a room. In winter, two children slept together, sharing two quilts. This kept their feet warm when they woke up. At first, Lin Jiu didn't know this was possible, and every morning he woke up with cold feet. Later, after watching others sleep together, he learned this method.

Life in the boarding school was tough, but she hadn't told Yang Bing about it. Ever since Yang Bing told her to fight back against the bully she'd been facing, she hadn't shared her problems with him. After all, she rarely received positive feedback from him.

Moreover, Yang Bing never took the initiative to care about whether she was living well, eating well, or whether she was cold when she slept.

It's useless to say anything.

Although boarding school was hard, it also trained her in a disguised way, allowing her to become independent and learn to solve problems on her own.

In addition, she also learned a lot of common sense in life that she didn't know.

For example, you should brush your teeth in the morning and evening, apply frostbite cream if your hands are frostbitten, and do not let men touch your private parts.

Lin Jiu is a lively and cheerful child, but also a heartless child.

At school, she finds fun every day. After class, she goes out to play with her classmates.

Jumping rope, playing badminton, throwing sandbags, playing chess, playing hide-and-seek...she lives a fulfilling and happy life every day.

She had never felt any longing for home, nor did she have any thoughts of homesickness.

——

When she was in junior high school, she studied at Gaoping Town Middle School.

Since the school was far from home, Lin Jiu naturally lived in boarding school.

There were few school buses but many students. If you missed the bus, you had to find other ways to get home.

So, at this time, she had her first push-button phone.

The phone was given to her as a gift for topping up her phone bill, but she was very happy. Often, she would use this phone to contact Yang Bing to come pick her up.

It was also from this time that she saw Yang Bing's back when he left countless times.

This back view reminded her of Zhu Ziqing's article "Back View", which made her feel quite touched.

At this time, she could understand Yang Bing's hard work in picking her up. Lin Jiu still had a little admiration for Yang Bing.

.

A few months into junior high school, Lin Jiu got into a fight with someone.

That day, a group of boys were scrambling to write on the blackboard, and she slowly passed by them from behind.

Just as she was about to leave the podium, a boy suddenly took a step back and stepped on her foot.

After the boy stepped on her, he immediately withdrew his foot. Everything seemed to be nothing.

Lin Jiu stood behind the boy and looked at him carefully.

He was about the same height as her, a bit thin, and had a low presence in the class, so she basically never spoke to him.

Looking at the back of the boy's head, she hesitated for a few seconds, wondering whether to pat him and communicate with him.

After thinking it over, she decided it was unnecessary and that talking would be too much trouble. She could just step back and make it even.

So she aimed at the foot that was stepping on her and stepped on it lightly.

The boy immediately realized that he had been stepped on, so he turned around and looked at Lin Jiu.

Maybe it’s because Lin Jiu doesn’t look fierce, but too soft and cute, and seems easy to bully.

He turned around and stepped on her hard.

Feeling the force on his feet, Lin Jiu was so angry that he wanted to laugh.

Then, she gave him a look of defiance and stepped on his foot right in front of him.

The boy immediately became angry, stretched out his hand to stop Lin Jiu's hand, and stepped on her foot to vent his anger.

For men and women of the same body size, men are stronger due to their innate physiological advantages.

However, although Lin Jiu was furious, he was not afraid of him.

She started doing farm work at a young age and grew up in the countryside. Although she doesn't have much muscle in her arms, she still has some strength.

So she took his hand in return and they wrestled with each other.

Neither of them gained any advantage, and they were in a stalemate for a moment, before being pulled apart by the classmates around them.

This matter was originally nothing, and it was over after the fight.

Until one day, the head teacher asked the class monitor to count student disputes, and her name and that boy's name were recorded.

For Lin Jiu, this registration is not important and she doesn't care.

Because the head teacher didn't contact them in the end, this will not be recorded in the file, so it has no impact at all.

However, this registration made Lin Jiu alert.

She suddenly realized clearly: she couldn't get into trouble and couldn't have her parents called to school.

She knew very well that if she really got into a conflict with someone and her parents were called, Yang Bing would not stand by her side, let alone help her. In fact, Yang Bing might even feel embarrassed about being talked over in front of the teacher and scold her.

That's when she realized: She had no right to get into trouble. No matter what, she must not be called to school.

She has no one to rely on, her only support is herself.

However, she is a minor and not yet independent. If anything happens, the teacher will find her guardian, that is, Yang Bing.

Later, she began to learn to be patient, avoid direct conflicts with others, and endure things as long as she could. Big things can be turned into small things, and small things can be turned into nothing.

——

One day in the second year of junior high school, Lin Jiu went to visit a classmate's house.

She saw the daily interactions between her classmates and their mothers, which was very warm and like friends.

Lin Jiu felt that the way she and Yang Bing got along was too cold.

Like all children, no one wants to believe that their parents don't love them.

Lin Jiu also thought so.

She reflected that perhaps it was because she didn't like to share her daily life or talk to others that Yang Bing didn't understand her.

In addition, Yang Bing's personality is like this, he is taciturn and doesn't know how to express himself.

Therefore, there was nothing to talk about between the two.

She thought she should take the initiative.

So, she started planning little surprises, buying small things she could afford, like socks and slippers.

Yang Bing, who received the gift, was indeed uncontrollably happy. Although he didn't praise her, he seemed less indifferent.

Lin Jiu felt that his idea was correct and was very happy.

When she was at home, she began to share some things about school with Yang Bing, hoping that they would have more topics to talk about.

However, normal topics were fine, but once some minor annoyances were mixed in, Yang Bing would immediately say, "Your own problems, solve them yourself."

Such hurtful words will greatly dampen Lin Jiu's enthusiasm.

Later, she tried to understand Yang Bing, asking her about her youth and whether there were any interesting things happening around her recently.

Yang Bing was very resistant and angrily said to her impatiently: "Why are you asking so many questions?!"

Since then, the two have been on bad terms.

Lin Jiu thought that it was useless for her to work hard alone, and she was tired.

From then on, Lin Jiu gave up the idea of ​​improving her relationship with Yang Bing and her daughter.

She thinks that perhaps every family has its own way of getting along.

Getting along with Yang Bing in the same way as other families is just copying.

She and Yang Bing are doing fine now. Although they don't have much to talk about and their relationship is distant, and they don't have any deep feelings for each other, they basically don't quarrel.

——

After the high school entrance examination.

Lin Jiu was waiting for Yang Bing to pick him up in front of the dormitory building.

She was in a good mood and felt that she had done okay in the exam, but not particularly well.

So she prepared to give Yang Bing a shot of prevention in advance to prevent him from having too high expectations and being too disappointed after seeing the results.

After tying the luggage to the back seat of the car, Lin Jiu looked at Yang Bing who was sitting in the car.

She joked, "Mom, I don't think I did that well on the test."

Without even turning his head, Yang Bing said coldly, "Whether you do well in the exam or not is your own business. What does it have to do with me?"

After hearing this, Lin Jiu froze in place, unable to come to his senses for several seconds.

She got into the car only after noticing Yang Bing glancing at her.

Looking at the ever-changing scenery around her, Lin Jiu's eyes became wet, but she looked up at the sky and quickly held the tears back.

She knew that learning was her own business.

But she is Yang Bing's daughter. Does it mean that her grades have nothing to do with Yang Bing?

She really doesn't understand!

Why does Yang Bing always say something that makes her sad, as if she doesn't care about her as a daughter at all?

She understands Yang Bing's hardships and difficulties and strives to be a good daughter. But why does Yang Bing always have this attitude? So cold, irresponsible, and indifferent...

Staring at the back of Yang Bing's head, she wondered: Was I adopted? Should I go to the hospital for a DNA test when I grow up?

The next moment, she denied the idea.

No poor person would be willing to spend so much money to support the education of a person who is not related to him.

Lin Jiuzhen felt sad that she was Yang Bing's daughter.

She always tried to find traces of Yang Bing's love for her from various clues. Such suspicion was really tiring.

She was fed up.

Love that is not felt is not love.

True love cannot be hidden and does not need to be sought.

It was also at this moment that she no longer needed that vague motherly love.

For Lin Jiu, family affection is like a half-bitter candy, with a little sugar coating on the outside and bitter inside.

She didn't want to eat it, but the candy had been stuffed in her mouth since she was born.

She wanted to spit it out, but her lips were bound by an invisible shackle called blood relationship.

Lin Jiu thought that any candy about friendship and love could be spit out if it tasted a little bitter.

Only family affection can be spit out no matter how hard you try.

Since Yang Bing had supported her education and brought her up, she would provide for her in her old age when she had no source of income. They were even.

If no one loves her, then she will love herself.

From now on, she will always put herself first.