Chapter 365 Let's search for the answers we seek together on this journey.

It turns out that the two leaders of Black Wind Stronghold were actually the sons of Lin Tongzhi. Many years ago, Lin Tongzhi went to the capital to take the imperial examination. For the sake of his future, he abandoned his wife and stayed in the capital. Little did he know that his wife would discover that she was pregnant soon after he left home.

His wife searched for him relentlessly for the sake of their two children, but eventually died from exhaustion when the children were ten years old. The two children, left destitute, had no choice but to become vagrants and survive by stealing food.

Lin Tongzhi learned all of this by chance ten years ago when he was first transferred to this post. He felt extremely guilty and wanted to bring his two children to live with him.

The two brothers who led Black Wind Stronghold had been hooligans for many years and had long since given up on such things. They became even more lawless after learning that their father was a magistrate, and went from being ordinary hooligans to becoming mountain bandits.

At first, it was just the two brothers doing robbery on their own. Magistrate Lin felt guilty towards his son, so he turned a blind eye.

Later, the two brothers established Black Wind Stronghold, which gradually grew to its current size. Lin Tongzhi was heartbroken and ashamed, but he was also helpless and could only secretly take care of them.

The government has tried to encircle and annihilate Black Wind Stronghold many times, and each time they have a meticulous plan, but they have been unable to completely take down Black Wind Stronghold.

The reason for this is pretty much what Sheng Sheng guessed: it's because Lin Tongzhi was behind it all.

That's why there's a saying that Black Wind Stronghold always manages to escape danger from the jaws of death.

Sheng Sheng, chin in hand, excitedly raised her eyebrows: "Wow, Sheng Sheng guessed right!"

"Yes, Sheng Sheng is great."

Xie Yun praised, but seeing the little dumpling happy with the praise, she changed the subject and said seriously, "However, I don't want something like what happened last night to happen again, understand?"

The little dumpling immediately composed herself and obediently said, "Of course, brother. Sheng Sheng has deeply realized her mistake. Sheng Sheng shouldn't have run away without saying a word when no one was watching. That was very, very dangerous. Not only did she put herself in a situation where she could be in danger at any time, but she also made brother and everyone else worry... Sheng Sheng was wrong."

First she apologized, then she acted coquettishly—even Xie Yunchuan couldn't resist this tactic!

Finally, Sheng Sheng hugged Xie Yunyang at the right moment and resolutely promised, "Sheng Sheng promises that it will never happen again!"

"alright."

She admitted her mistake and made promises, so Xie Yun was no longer angry. Seeing her behavior, how could he bear to say another harsh word to her?

Xie Yun smiled helplessly: "If there's a next time, I'll send you back to the capital immediately."

This meant that he had completely forgiven her. Upon hearing this, Sheng Sheng finally felt relieved and leaned against him affectionately.

A moment later, Sheng Sheng remembered the question that had plunged her into a slump the night before and couldn't help but ask it.

"Brother, Sheng Sheng has a question for you."

"Um?"

"Well... that's right. Has Sheng Sheng's behavior had a serious impact on you? Actually, Sheng Sheng secretly ran away yesterday because after she found out that Lin Tongzhi was acting strangely, she couldn't watch everyone work hard in peace while she could lie in bed and sleep as if nothing had happened."

Sheng Sheng looked puzzled. "However, Sheng Sheng thought she could help, but it seems she actually did more harm than good. Sister Lan Yun is so capable. If Sheng Sheng hadn't gone to Shui Miao Village at that time, perhaps Sister Lan Yun could have dealt with those bandits much faster. Because if Sheng Sheng hadn't been there, Sister Lan Yun wouldn't have had to pay attention to her."

"Yes, I understand how you feel."

Sheng Sheng blinked, looking at him with a somewhat blank expression.

Xie Yun sighed and said frankly, "Sometimes I feel the same confusion as you. For example, today, I am clearly the Crown Prince, but when I stayed up all night to get rid of those wicked mountain bandits for the people, I actually felt satisfied and even excited."

However, when we leave the core of the matter, such as the play we put on yesterday just to pry something out of the prefect's mouth...

Frankly, I absolutely dislike this feeling of having to beat around the bush with people, even though I know it's something I have to do.

Even when facing the bandits' flashing swords, Mingming's mind was clear—he knew perfectly well who was evil and who deserved to be eliminated.

But when dealing with those officials who have ulterior motives, one must speak indirectly, conceal one's intentions with one's eyes, and even a sincere word must be wrapped in three layers of masks.

Xie Yunyang looked down at Sheng Sheng, his tone losing its usual gentleness and becoming more frank, a quality rarely seen in young people.

His fingertips tapped lightly on the edge of the table unconsciously. The impatience and melancholy he felt were no longer hidden in the depths of his eyes as they usually were, revealing only annoyance and helplessness.

It's not that Prefect Tang is bad, nor is it to blame any particular minister.

He knew that being in the imperial court meant having too many things beyond one's control.

Speaking while wearing a mask is the best way to protect oneself amidst the ups and downs of life.

He just doesn't really like it this way.

But we have no choice but to do it this way.

Over and over again, back and forth, over and over again, one grows weary of it all.

It felt like a wet cotton ball was pressing on my chest, heavy and suffocating, yet I couldn't find a way to breathe.

Even though I'm doing the right thing and following the right path, every time I engage in pretense and deception, I feel like I'm drifting further away from the person I truly want to be.

He paused, looked out the window, and sighed with a hint of helplessness in his voice, "Sheng Sheng, this world has never been protected by swords alone."

Xie Yunyang raised a hand to press her temples, her voice as soft as if carried by the evening breeze, even the light in her eyes dimmed slightly: "Sometimes I think, if only I could always do things that 'eliminate evil'—I wouldn't have to guess people's hearts, I wouldn't have to hide my true feelings, but alas..."

Unfortunately, being born into the inner palace, he was made to wear a mask by Empress Zheng from birth.

He is the Empress's eldest son, the Crown Prince, and a member of the Zheng family. He must shoulder the expectations of his deceased younger brother, support his mother's position in the palace, and uphold and even glorify the Zheng family.

Where did that mask come from? It wasn't given to me by someone else.

It was clear that from the time he could remember, his mother had personally embroidered gold threads and adorned him with pearls and jade, stitching them into his very bones.

When he was little, he didn't understand. He felt that the words his mother taught him and the smiles she gave him were like looking through a thin veil. They were warm, but not real.

His younger brother was frail from childhood. From the moment his brother was born, his mother told him that his brother's body was destined to prevent him from becoming the crown prince, while he was destined to be the crown prince.

He had to learn from a young age how to be meticulous in all aspects, and he had to be decisive and ruthless in his actions, even cruel, as long as he could completely eliminate anyone who threatened his position.

Therefore, he cannot like things that Empress Zheng considers meaningless; he must carry on his brother's share and fulfill the mission of the Crown Prince.

His mother always whispered in his ear, "Ah-Yang, you are not only yourself, but also your brother's support and the hope of the Zheng family."

Those words were like engravings, carving the word "Crown Prince" deep into his bones and blood—to be composed, to be ruthless, to hide all his softness, and even to wrap his affection for his younger brother in the "appearance of a Crown Prince."

It wasn't until his younger brother passed away, and until he was placed on the throne as crown prince, that he suddenly understood—that wasn't a thin veil, but a shell that protected him while also confining him.

His mother never called him "Ah-sang" again, only "Sang-er" remained.

Xie Yunyang pressed his fingertips to his lips, a very soft sigh rolling down his throat, even his eyes darkening: "Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I can't tell which face is real. Is it the Xie Yunyang with the fierce look in his eyes when facing the bandits, or the Crown Prince with the gentle smile when facing the officials?"

He paused, looked at Sheng Sheng, and asked with a hint of confusion in his voice, "Sheng Sheng, do you think that if you wear this mask for too long, you won't be able to take it off?"

Sheng Sheng didn't quite understand, yet she could still grasp the meaning.

She didn't understand the foundation of the Eastern Palace, nor the balance of power in the court, and she didn't understand what it felt like to be forced like this by her own mother.

But she could see the melancholy hidden in her brother's eyes when he lowered them, a melancholy that even the evening breeze couldn't dispel.

You could also hear the hint of panic in his voice when he said "I can't take it off," a panic that even he himself didn't realize.

Just like what she suddenly realized yesterday: she wanted to help everyone, but was afraid that she would only cause trouble. She understands that feeling of "wanting to do well but being unable to do so".

Sheng Sheng quietly shifted her body, getting closer to him, and with a slight movement of her small hand, she finally gently tugged at the sleeve hanging at his side.

Her fingertips touched his slightly cool sleeve. She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling like two stars, and whispered in his ear, "Brother Crown Prince, I'll take it off."

Her tone was firm, with the straightforwardness and sincerity unique to children: "It's like...like a straw hat worn on a rainy day, you have to take it off when the rain stops. The same goes for masks, when brother no longer has to hide his true feelings, he can take them off."

She paused, then nodded vigorously, her little face full of seriousness: "Brother, Sheng Sheng suddenly realized something. Think about it from another perspective, if Sheng Sheng hadn't gone to see Sister Lan Yun, Sister Lan Yun wouldn't have been able to be sure that Lin Tongzhi would do something bad, right? So there's no right or wrong, as long as you're thinking of helping everyone, even if you take a detour, it's not like you're doing more harm than good."

She still held onto his sleeve with her little hand, shook it, and the confusion in her eyes completely disappeared, leaving only a bright and determined look: "Just like you, brother! Although you don't like beating around the bush, it's all for the sake of finding out the bad guys and for the good of the people. Those things you don't like are actually helping you walk the path you want to walk."

"Brother, let's search for the answers we seek together on this journey! What kind of person do we want to become? What kind of things do we want to do... Let's find them together!"

Once you find the happiness and freedom you truly desire, seize it! After all, not only Sheng Sheng, but also your elder sister, brothers, and even your father—aren't they all supporting you? Then, brother can laugh when he wants to laugh, and speak his mind freely, without having to beat around the bush anymore.

Xie Yun was taken aback. Looking into her bright eyes, he felt as if something warm and soft had gently bumped into his heart.

The melancholy, confusion, and weariness of the "mask" that had been weighing on my heart were quietly melted away in that instant by the little dumpling's straightforward warmth.

His tense heartstrings suddenly relaxed, and a long-lost warmth spread from his heart, gently enveloping all his heaviness.

Sheng Sheng is right; there are no "ifs" or "what ifs".

Now that everything has happened and is in the past, all he can do is try to find out which side the scales in his heart tip towards.

Is it better to be yourself or to suppress your true feelings and continue wearing a mask?

After a long pause, Xie Yun nodded seriously: "Okay."

The brother and sister smiled at each other.

Then let's enjoy the scenery along the way and find the answer in our hearts together.

...

The carriage swayed and bumped along the road again. Xie Yunyang leaned against the table for a short rest. She felt sorry for him because he had been busy all night and hadn't slept. While he was fast asleep, she thoughtfully fanned him to keep him cool and lit some calming incense.

Even Stone and Flame Amber were ordered to remain silent.

The two little ones were bored, so they simply leaned out of the carriage curtains, one on each side, to look at the scenery.

The provincial capital of Heshan County and Jinzhou were not far apart. The group set off at 9:00 AM and arrived at the foot of Mount Putuo, which was located outside Jinzhou City, just after 1:00 PM.

The sun was already high in the sky, and its warm light filtered through the sparse locust leaves, scattering across the bluestone road like scattered gold dust.

After traveling for several hours, Ta Ying saw a teahouse at the foot of Mount Putuo and asked Sheng Sheng if she needed to stop and rest for a while and have some tea.

Sheng Sheng thought for a moment. They would be going to Putuo Temple soon. They hadn't told her grandmother, whom they had never met, beforehand. After all, it was a Buddhist monastery, and she didn't know if her grandmother would be unhappy that they had come uninvited.

Thinking this, Sheng Sheng couldn't help but feel a little nervous, so she said, "Okay, let's all rest for a while. My brother is still sleeping, so I'll stay here with him. Go and buy some tea and snacks for everyone, you guys can eat."

She was nervous, so she decided to stay put and mentally prepare herself.

"Yes, Miss."

After a brief discussion, Ta Ying and Zhui Feng stopped their carriages and sat down to have tea with Zi Juan.

Zijuan asked the shopkeeper for two extra pots of tea and some snacks, then walked a few steps into the woods, put the items on the ground, and left. A short while later, a dark figure snatched the items from the ground.

The shadowy figure returned to the tree, distributed the items to the person sitting beside him, who was leaning against the tree and propping their legs up, and said, "We'll be meeting the Empress Dowager soon. Our princess hasn't met her yet. I remember the Empress Dowager has a strange temper; she's serious and not gentle. I wonder if she'll like our princess."

If Lan Yun, who had just joined this group, had heard Zhu Yue say this, she would have seriously reminded him not to speak carelessly about members of the royal family.

But at this moment, perhaps having long been accustomed to Zhu Yue's unreliable nature despite being a secret guard, Lan Yun drank her tea and began to think seriously: "Your Highness is intelligent and lovely. I think the Empress Dowager will like Your Highness."

After all, she was gradually won over by the princess, and it only took her half a month to go from respectful to genuinely fond of her.