Chapter 39 Gentle and Honest

The bright lounge was filled with the scent of rose dew, very light and faint, like the fragrance of dewdrops on a flower stamen, carried away by the wind, restrained and precious.

Yu Jingchen had spent countless afternoons in this flavor; it brought him peace of mind, yet also made him feel lonely.

And at this very moment, the whole rose lay in his arms, within his reach.

Yu Jingchen had had such beautiful dreams before, but every time he woke up, it was always more painful than waking up from a nightmare. Perhaps the hidden pain rooted in the flesh was far more unbearable than the wounds that were exposed on the surface.

Yu Jingchen's pupils were very dark. Fu Yanle's Adam's apple bobbed as he said, "You fouled."

"You only told me to bump my head against the window once, you didn't make any other requests, where did I break the rules?" Yu Jingchen pressed his finger bone against Fu Yanle's chin, not allowing him to turn his head away. "But what are you trying to do hiding here?"

"Besides this office, where else can we hide?" Fu Yanle couldn't withstand Yu Jingchen's focused gaze and couldn't help but feel panicked.

He lowered his eyelids, his hands clasped together nervously on his waist, and after a long while he asked, "Are the flowers I gave you pretty?"

Yu Jingchen nodded, "It looks nice. Did you buy it from the same flower shop as last time?"

“Yes, I’m their esteemed VIP.” Fu Yanle paused after saying that, then casually added, “I wrote the words on the card myself. I originally wanted the staff to write it for me, but their handwriting is all ugly. So, in order not to ruin the beauty of the flowers, I had no choice but to write it myself.”

"You've really worked hard, Yanle." Yu Jingchen smiled. "Weren't you accompanying An Shigou to the audition? What are you doing here?"

“The audition took too long, I couldn’t stand it, and the hot pot restaurant we were originally going to was temporarily closed, so I went to find another one first. And then…” Fu Yanle clenched his hands, “and then, and then I happened to be nearby. I, I thought since I was already here, I might as well stop by and see you.”

"Oh?" Yu Jingchen continued to stare intently at Fu Yanle. Fu Yanle glanced up, then immediately lowered his eyelids again, his eyes darting around helplessly. Yu Jingchen found it amusing and patted his hair.

"Okay, if it's on the way, then it's on the way."

"It really was on the way, don't wrong me in your heart." Fu Yanle shook his head gently, his forehead brushing against Yu Jingchen's skin, feeling a slight warmth being stirred out.

He nudged his palate. "Could you get up?"

Yu Jingchen's knuckles occasionally scraped against the flesh on Fu Yanle's cheek. "Not good."

Fu Yanle raised his eyes.

“You brought flowers, hid in my lounge, and are still lying in my arms. I can’t bear to get up like this.” Yu Jingchen nuzzled Fu Yanle’s nose with his, making him tilt his head back slightly and ask as if seeking confirmation, “Yanle, why did you give me roses?”

Fu Yanle knew that if he revealed the real reason, it would be tantamount to sending a signal to Yu Jingchen, and this signal would be even more direct than when he said "you can give me roses" next to the piano last time.

It represents going a step further, but it also represents a point of no return.

Shyness made him hesitate, but Yu Jingchen's gaze wouldn't allow him to lie. If he hadn't overheard those earlier words, he would only have seen the seriousness in Yu Jingchen's eyes, and would have definitely overlooked the restraint and longing hidden behind the surface.

Fu Yanle chose to look directly at her.

“Because I saw a little white flower by the roadside and thought it was cute, it reminded me of you.” He smiled shyly. “I don’t know why, but I just thought of you, only you, so I wanted to buy you flowers. The housekeeper said you like roses, so I gave you roses, and it turns out you really do like them, don’t you?”

"Seeing the flowers, did you think of me?" Yu Jingchen asked hesitantly.

"Yes. Actually, it's not just flowers; I see a lot of things that remind me of you."

At this moment, Fu Yanle was extremely candid.

“I don’t know why this is happening. It seems that ever since we started living together, I see your shadow in many things that have nothing to do with you. You seem to have become a part of my life, and the most natural and intimate part at that.”

Yu Jingchen's heartbeat, like its owner's, was suddenly struck by a violent blow.

"You..." Yu Jingchen's voice choked, his Adam's apple bobbing as he cleared his throat as naturally as possible, "Then, do you like it this way?"

"You should like me, right?" Fu Yanle wrinkled his nose slightly. "Given my personality, if I were to reject you, I wouldn't let you continue to influence me. Please forget about me from the time I met Su Fengyao until I met you again at the Lu family. Just pretend that I was possessed by some kind of ghost during those years, since my character was completely out of character."

He emphasized, "I am a very decisive and straightforward person."

“Yes, I know. You weren’t the real you those years. And you…” Yu Jingchen swallowed the words that were about to come out of his throat, lowered his eyes and said, “I understand.”

An idealist who was once betrayed by his ideals died for his ideals.

The proud sons of heaven, high above all others, remain silent out of forbearance.

They are all irritating triggers.

Fu Yanle reached out and put his hand around Yu Jingchen's nape, encouragingly saying, "You don't know. What do you want to ask? You can ask, and I will tell you the answer honestly."

Fu Yanle's palms were very hot. Yu Jingchen felt like a prisoner whose life was being protected. After weighing his options, he finally decided to take a gamble.

"What are your thoughts on... Su Fengyao?"

“Su Fengyao.” Fu Yanle frowned, suppressing his discomfort.

"How should I put it? Now that I think about the stupid things I did for him over the years, I feel more anger and humiliation. I'm angry at myself for being like a puppet, forced to be used and deceived, and I feel ashamed because of it. Su Fengyao was very good at pretending, but if it were me in the past or me now, I wouldn't have been completely oblivious to the signs."

Well, how should I put it?

From the moment he met Su Fengyao, he was merely a local resident in the novel, "Fu Yanle." The character of "Fu Yanle" was created to prepare for the plot; his existence served to advance the protagonist's career and love story. In the last few years of his previous life, he simply lived as "Fu Yanle."

Fu Yanle's actions and thoughts were entirely beyond his control.

Yu Jingchen pressed his tongue against his palate, desperately suppressing the anger in his heart. He rubbed Fu Yanle's chin and comforted her, "Don't be sad, Yanle."

“Sad? Actually, I was very sad when I first woke up, and even now, thinking about it, I still feel uncomfortable.” Fu Yanle gave a self-deprecating laugh. “You know, my mother passed away early, and my father has always been dead. I’m only close to my grandfather and Lu Minghe. I don’t have any true friends, so I’m probably a bit lacking in love.”

He paused after saying that, then added, "You're not allowed to think I'm being dramatic!"

“I don’t think so.” Yu Jingchen ruffled Fu Yanle’s hair. “Everyone has the right to long to be loved. Yanle, this isn’t being pretentious, and you’re not allowed to think of yourself that way.”

“Okay.” Fu Yanle suppressed the sly smile that was creeping onto his face. “Actually, if I didn’t know Su Fengyao was lying to me, and instead looked at those years from an outsider’s perspective, when we first met, he was incredibly considerate and attentive to me. Before meeting him, I had never been in a relationship or liked anyone, so…”

He secretly glanced at Yu Jingchen's face, but Yu Jingchen patted him and said, "It's okay, Yanle."

“Okay,” Fu Yanle said. “So even if I’m not cannon fodder, I might still develop feelings for him? Of course, it’s not because he’s Su Fengyao, but because he acts like he cares about me a lot. Anyone would do the same. So, I’m not sad because of Su Fengyao, but because it’s not easy to find a third person besides Lao Lu and Xiao Lu who cares about me like this, but it’s fake.”

The same applies to Meng Xinqiu and Gu Jiming.

“Perhaps,” Fu Yanle said jokingly, “I’m just not naturally likable.”

“Su Fengyao’s disdain for you is his loss, not because you are not worth it.” Yu Jingchen reached out and pulled Fu Yanle’s lower back, pressing him firmly into his arms and inhaling at the nape of his neck.

“If only I were that third person, Yanle,” he said. “If I had walked up to you back then, things would have been different.”

You only had a few appearances in the original work, okay?

They're cannon fodder among cannon fodder!

But this is fine too. Fu Yanle thought to himself, if Yu Jingchen were given a character trait like a brainless, love-struck simp, that would be an utter disgrace! Just thinking about this hypothetical scenario made him want to break through dimensions and kill the author!

Fu Yanle tilted his head, inhaled the fragrance of Yu Jingchen's hair, and gently squeezed the hand on the back of his neck, saying, "You are the third person."

Yu Jingchen suddenly looked up. "What?"

"Besides Lao Lu and Xiao Lu, aren't you the third person who's genuinely good to me?" Fu Yanle raised an eyebrow. "Could it be that you, like Su Fengyao, are harboring your own ulterior motives?"

"How could I! I couldn't possibly, I absolutely wouldn't... Yanle, you can suspect that I have ulterior motives towards you, but please give me time to prove my innocence." Yu Jingchen's eyelids were slightly red, and he looked quite aggrieved. "I really didn't."

Fu Yanle had only meant it as a joke, but he hadn't expected Yu Jingchen to react so strongly. Yu Jingchen's nervousness and eagerness were so endearing; he seemed so lively. Fu Yanle reached out and gently patted Yu Jingchen's back as if comforting a baby.

"I believe you. Brother Chen, you have plenty of time to prove it to me. Prove that you genuinely care about me, are considerate of me, or... or prove that you really like me."

Yu Jingchen's breath hitched.

Tell me what you like, and I will accept your feelings with all my patience and respect.

Fu Yanle's tone was serious and earnest, yet gentle and tolerant.

"But please don't continue to hide it. I don't want to guess what you're thinking behind your words and actions, because I might not be right. I don't want to cause any misunderstandings or cause you to overlook what you've done."

“Brother Chen, if you are truly sincere towards me, then your feelings are definitely not something that can be hidden from the public eye. You haven’t done anything wrong, and you have every right to be honest with me.”

"How I choose is my business; you just need to trust me."

Yu Jingchen stared blankly at Fu Yanle, and the next second, he received a kiss from Fu Yanle.

Author's Note:

Master Laibao, the sharp-tongued rat, is actually a very gentle person! (fingers)

Looking at the comments on the previous chapter, some little ones didn't understand the final pose? To put it simply: Da Yu pinned Xiao Fu to the bed, then kowtowed to Xiao Fu's forehead. (Pointing and commenting)