This trick has worked for me time and time again.

After winter sets in, it gets dark early. When Jiang Yu and the caregiver opened the door, they could already see the lights of thousands of homes shining through the living room's floor-to-ceiling windows.

I suddenly felt at peace. Gu Wanlin had disappeared from my life for so many years, and I always thought I would never have any contact with her again. But now she was lying there, sleeping peacefully, just a wall away from me. I went in to check on her several times, and her breathing and temperature were normal.

Jiang Yu introduced me to Gu Wanlin's night shift caregiver, whom I called Sister Zhang. She looked to be at most 40 years old, strong and healthy, and worked efficiently. Jiang Yu mentioned that she had many years of experience caring for patients with high-level paraplegia. She then added me to a group chat. The group included herself, Sister Zhang, and Sister Zhou, the day shift caregiver I hadn't met yet. Sister Zhou was about the same age and had similar experience as Sister Zhang. The group was used to communicate about Gu Wanlin's situation and to facilitate handover between the two shifts of caregivers.

Sister Zhou usually comes around 8 a.m. and stays all morning to help Gu Wanlin get up, take care of her morning care and simple exercises, watch over her lunch, and then help her lie back down to rest. Sister Zhang usually comes around 6 p.m., and if needed, she brings dinner. Then she watches over Gu Wanlin do some passive exercises after dinner, helps her wash up, and prepares her for bed. She finishes get off work around 9 p.m.

Well, after visiting Gu Wanlin's house, I've gained two more sisters.

Sister Zhang knocked on Gu Wanlin's bedroom door and went in. Sister Zhang said that she couldn't let her sleep anymore and needed to get up, eat something, and move around. I wanted to know how Gu Wanlin was doing, so I couldn't help but stand by the door and eavesdrop.

The bedroom light was switched on with a snap, and warm yellow light streamed in through the crack in the door. I heard Sister Zhang prop up the recliner to help Gu Wanlin sit up, and then I heard soft, muffled thuds coming from inside, like Gu Wanlin's legs slapping against the leather surface of the recliner.

Gu Wanlin must have had another spasm. I heard her gasp, and her suppressed groans reached my ears, sounding even more suffocating.

Sister Zhang said, "Let me massage you before we go to the wheelchair, okay?"

Gu Wanlin said okay, thank you Sister Zhang.

Sister Zhang asked, "Why don't you sleep on the bed if you want to? This chair can't be fully reclined. See how you're suffering now?"

Sister Zhang seemed like a quick and efficient person, but she loved to nag. A moment later, she said, "You put your prosthetic leg on as soon as you got up this morning, right? Why didn't you take it off after sleeping all afternoon? What if you damaged your skin?" "I'll take it off for you now."

Gu Wanlin avoided answering and asked Sister Zhang in a low voice, "Who's outside?"

Sister Zhang probably felt that Gu Wanlin was being rather nonsensical by not answering her question and instead asking who was out outside. She said, puzzled, "It's Xiao Jiang, who said she came to see you and have lunch with you. And there's Xiao... what's Xiao Shen, the girl who took you home at noon."

Gu Wanlin then said, "No, we have guests at home. Let's talk about it after they leave."

Sister Zhang commented, "Little Gu, you're just being stubborn and suffering for it. Your health is the most important thing."

Gu Wanlin remained silent.

I thought to myself that on this point, Sister Zhang and I really had a lot in common. Gu Wanlin was quite proud, and it was really tough for him to be around a nagging older sister like Sister Zhang.

Sister Zhang said, "Come on, let me help you into the wheelchair, and we'll go to the bathroom to clean up."

Gu Wanlin asked Sister Zhang, "Sister Zhang, could you help me check if there's any leakage?" His voice was very nervous.

Sister Zhang said you didn't drink enough water today, why are you leaking? Remember to drink more water tomorrow, do you want to get infected like last time? I'm fine. Come on, put your arms around my neck, I'll hug you. Look how much better you've gotten this illness, you need to replenish your fluids quickly.

Hearing Zhang Jie pushing her towards the master bathroom, I stopped eavesdropping and went to the kitchen to help Jiang Yu get bowls and spoons, setting the takeout dinner she had brought to the table. Jiang Yu glanced at me and finally said the words I had been too embarrassed to say to Gu Wanlin all day: "Long time no see."

There wasn't much awkwardness between us, and I said, "Yes, it's been a long time."

Jiang Yu took out a separate bowl, added a little more than half a bowl of rice to it, and then picked some of the various dishes and put them into the bowl. While picking at the dishes, she said to me, "Thanks to you today. I hope I didn't interfere with your work."

"Don't mention it," I said. "My job offers a lot of flexibility, and I don't have to work fixed hours. How could I not come if Gu Wanlin needed me?" Then, afraid Gu Wanlin would hear, I lowered my voice and asked Jiang Yu, "Is it okay for her to be like this without anyone watching over her? Why not just hire a full-time caregiver?"

Jiang Yu agreed, saying that Gu Wanlin's injury was to her cervical spinal cord, which is different from a spinal cord injury. She can only control a small portion of her body, and some things are beyond her control no matter how hard she tries. While people who recover well from injuries in this location don't necessarily need to rely on others for daily life, it's only been a year since the accident, and her rehabilitation is still ongoing; she still has a lot to learn. Jiang Yu also felt that they should find a full-time caregiver first, but Gu Wanlin resolutely refused.

Gu Wanlin said she didn't want to be watched all the time, constantly reminded that she was a useless person unable to take care of herself, like being in prison. Gu Wanlin also said she couldn't stand living with a caregiver 24 hours a day, but she also knew that finding a caregiver wasn't like finding a soulmate; a kind heart, meticulousness, professionalism, and attentiveness were enough, and that was already quite difficult to find. She couldn't expect them to be compatible with her personality, share similar temperaments, and be able to chat about everything under the sun.

But she couldn't keep filling her private life with someone she couldn't connect with on a spiritual level all the time. If she couldn't even have this little bit of breathing space, she might as well just die.

"Fine, give me liberty or give me death, right?" That certainly sounds like something Gu Wanlin would say.

We weren't officially together yet, but I was relentlessly pursuing her, constantly making conversation and sending her all sorts of personality quizzes. Gu Wanlin scoffed at this, telling me to stop believing such nonsense, saying that human nature is so complex and subtle, how can you categorize and label people with standardized tests? I thought to myself, well, you have to give me a way to understand you. But outwardly, I said, "Gu Wanlin, you're absolutely right! Come on, take this quiz, let me see just how complex and subtle you are. Love, freedom, life, money—rank them in your heart."

Gu Wanlin feigned disdain for me, but his actions betrayed his words; he quickly replied to my message. "Freedom > Love > Life > Money"

I said to Gu Wanlin, "Are you love-struck? How can you put love before life?" I think life should definitely come first. Without life, how can you experience freedom and love, and then make money?

Gu Wanlin said that if she lost the ability to be free and to love, she might as well die.

I remember what she said back then, and my heart aches. Gu Wanlin, who loved freedom so much, is now mostly unable to control her body, confined to a wheelchair, and even walking around her own neighborhood is difficult. How sad she must be.

As they were talking, Sister Zhou pushed Gu Wanlin out and stopped her at the dining table. She seemed to be in good spirits, still wearing the same clothes she wore at noon, but with a safety belt added to her chest and waist to secure her to the wheelchair. Seeing me sitting at the table, she didn't know what to say, and after a long pause, she finally said, "You didn't leave? Then stay and have lunch with us."

Nonsense, didn't you already know I hadn't left? I was already sitting at your dining table when you finally invited me to stay, right?

Jiang Yu placed the bowl of food that she had served separately in front of Gu Wanlin, took her hand and put a small tool with Velcro on her palm, then attached a spoon to the tool, and said, "Let's have dinner. It's takeout from your favorite restaurant near your house."

Gu Wanlin wasn't this distant with me at all. She chuckled and said, "Jiang Yu, you're so good to me."

I ate my own food, pretending to be very interested in Jiang Yu's work, and chatted politely with her about her job and mine. Isn't that all you can talk about when you're almost middle-aged? But actually, my eyes were fixed on Gu Wanlin. I tried my best not to look at her as she awkwardly moved her elbow to get the spoon to her mouth, so as not to make her uncomfortable.

Gu Wanlin didn't really participate in my conversation with Jiang Yu, busy eating his own meal, taking his time eating spoonful by spoonful. After only eating half, he used his arm to push himself back against the table and leaned into his wheelchair, saying he was finished.

Jiang Yu glanced at the leftover rice in her bowl and said, "You're eating too little. It's like cat food. Don't force me to feed you."

Gu Wanlin winked at Jiang Yu and said, "But I really can't eat anymore. I'm tired, and I feel tightness in my chest."

Jiang Yu said that it's no use for you to act cute or lazy. You don't eat when you're tired. How old are you anyway?

Gu Wanlin said, "If you make me vomit, Sister Zhang will have to work overtime again. If you pay my overtime pay, I'll eat it."

Jiang Yu shook her head. "Forget it, Miss, I don't look down on your mukbang performance. If you can't eat, then don't. I'll leave you some easy late-night snacks by your bedside tonight, so you don't ruin your stomach." As she spoke, she reached out to unbuckle her seatbelt and looked up to observe the rise and fall of Gu Wanlin's chest as she breathed: "Will this make you feel better? Still feeling tightness in your chest?"

"Hmm...it seems a little better." Gu Wanlin tried to take a deep breath, then casually placed her right hand on Jiang Yu's wrist and shook it, giving her a sweet smile. "Jiang Yu, how can you be so good to me?"

My stomach was cramping with pain, not because the food was bad, but because I was jealous of Jiang Yu. Why was Gu Wanlin acting all cute and affectionate with her? She used to only act cute and affectionate with me.

I secretly rubbed my stomach with my hand.

I knew that although Gu Wanlin didn't say anything to me, she was actually watching me. Sure enough, she asked me, "Do you have a stomachache again?"

I said no, I'm just full and have nothing better to do.

I ate the meal quickly, and afterwards I made an excuse that I had to go back to take care of some work and said goodbye. I was thinking about what Sister Zhang had said about how she should take off her prosthetic leg as soon as possible, because she wouldn't let me stay any longer. I was afraid that the longer I stayed, the more she would suffer.

Gu Wanlin politely escorted me to her doorstep, saying, "I'm so sorry to have kept you from work today. Please be careful on your way home, and give me your money when you get there."

Then she stopped talking.

I knew what she was going to say, so I sent her a WeChat message when we arrived. We've maintained this habit for so many years together; no matter who's traveling at night or taking a taxi alone, we always remind each other to send a message when we arrive.

The problem was that she didn't have my contact information. After the breakup, we went through a lot of back and forth until finally she deleted all my contact information, unfriended me on all platforms, and even blocked me.

I was prepared for this. I frowned, and the tears I had been holding back instantly fell. I looked straight at her and said, "Gu Wanlin, please add me back, okay? I'll text you when I get there."

She panicked a little, her tone somewhat helpless, and said, "Why are you crying? Just add it. Hurry back. Let me know when you arrive."

She can't do anything with me when I cry; this trick never fails me.