You sit on my lap

Although it was called a trip, it was actually very close by. The plan was to leave on Saturday morning, stay overnight, and return on Sunday afternoon. Jiang Yu came to meet us early in the morning with breakfast, and together we drove Gu Wanlin's car into the mountains. There was no traffic jam along the way, but we were worried that Gu Wanlin would be tired from sitting for so long, and that her delicate skin might not be able to withstand the pressure, so we stopped for a few leisurely rests along the way, arriving at our destination just in time for lunch.

Gu Wanlin was still sitting in the passenger seat that had been specially modified for her. She seemed to be in much better condition than when he took her out to see the snow last time. Every time they rested, he would lift her out of the seat to relieve the pressure and move her legs around. He hadn't seen her have any spasms since.

As we drove into the mountains, all we could see from the window were tall, lush trees. Layer upon layer of green covered the rolling hills from near to far, and every now and then we could see babbling mountain streams. When we lowered the car window, we could feel the cool, moist air mixed with the faint, fresh scent of grass and earth.

The restaurant we ate at featured local specialties and had a uniquely rustic ambiance, with a small waterfall right next to the backyard. After we finished eating, we all lazily sat back and sunbathed, watching the stream trickle down the rock face, splashing onto the smooth, polished stones and creating a fine mist. It was a truly delightful experience.

Jiang Yu asked us, "What are our plans for this afternoon?"

I replied lazily, "No plans, it's fine to just lie here."

The owner, who brought us tea after our meal, chuckled and chimed in, “Lying down is comfortable, but we have plenty of activities to do here. There’s a rafting area, and a nearby reservoir where you can paddleboard. However, most of these activities require reservations, but you should be able to book for tomorrow. This afternoon, there’s a particularly popular hiking trail. It’s very well-developed; just follow the people and signs and you won’t get lost. It’s not difficult; it’s mainly about walking along the streams in the mountains and forests, or you can go around the lake. The scenery is especially beautiful.”

As they spoke, they even kindly handed us several brochures introducing local activities.

Like camping and skiing, hiking has naturally become a part of my and my friends' escapes from the city and connections with nature in recent years. I've seen Jiang Yu's posts on social media; she's also a hiking enthusiast. However, no matter how good the hiking routes are, they're inaccessible by wheelchair. Gu Wanlin is destined to be unable to participate in these activities.

Jiang Yu flipped through the booklet, feigning indifference. "But I still want to lie down. Qingyi, what about you?"

I yawned. "I want to lie down too."

Gu Wanlin understood what we meant. "Jiang Yu, stop it. Are you the kind of person who can sit still? We said we came out to have fun together, not just to keep me company. You can go ahead and don't worry about me."

Jiang Yu waved her hand, "That won't do. What if I get lost? How will you explain it to my parents when I get back?"

Gu Wanlin raised his wrist and pointed at me, "Then I'll give you a task: take her there."

I know that the hiking trails here are famous for their beautiful scenery, and since I'm here, I'm naturally tempted to go. But I don't want to leave Gu Wanlin behind and leave her alone in the hotel.

Gu Wanlin turned to look at me. “I can stay in the hotel by myself for a few hours without any problem. I brought my own books to read, so I won’t be bored. You two have been working really hard lately. Since you’re out this weekend, you should definitely relax. I don’t want you two to have to give up your favorite activities and not have fun because of me. You want me to be happy, and I want you two to be happy too.”

Since she said that, our insistence on staying by her side only made her feel guilty and uncomfortable, so she nodded in agreement. We then checked into a hotel, a small and exquisite two-bedroom villa. The master bedroom had an extremely wide bed, which Gu Wanlin found inconvenient to sleep in by herself, so she left it for me and her, while Jiang Yu stayed in the other bedroom.

We changed into appropriate clothes, shoes, and socks, and before leaving, we helped Gu Wanlin sit on the small sofa in the master bedroom facing the courtyard garden view through the floor-to-ceiling window. We found her water, medicine, and other things she might need and placed them within easy reach.

I always worry about you when you leave, turning back every few steps to remind you, "Call us anytime if anything happens. If you can't reach us, call the hotel front desk. Hey, is your phone charged?"

Gu Wanlin looked up from her book, her eyes crinkling with laughter, and waved goodbye to us, saying, "Jiang Yu, quickly pull her away."

When I was dating Gu Wanlin, I often went out with Jiang Yu. Lately, we've been busy with the common goal of helping Gu Wanlin rebuild his life, and we've formed a comrade-in-arms friendship. We hike together, enjoying the scenery along the way, chatting about our work and shared interests, which is quite relaxing.

Jiang Yu noticed that I kept taking out my phone to check the signal and time. "Are you worried?"

I smiled sheepishly and admitted, "Well, sometimes I'm afraid that if I care too much, she'll feel like she can't take care of herself and that it will hurt her self-esteem. But after a few previous experiences, of course I'm afraid that if something happens to her again, it will damage her health. It's only recently that she's finally starting to recover."

Jiang Yu laughed at me, "You're acting like you're treating her like your mother."

I was speechless.

She stopped teasing and said seriously, "I'm not kidding you anymore. So, what's the situation between you two now... Do you still like her?"

I turned to look at Jiang Yu. "Yes, and not entirely."

“These past few days I’ve been thinking about it over and over again, and I don’t think it’s entirely because I had a relationship with her before and I still have feelings for her. Rather, it’s more that during these past few months, I’ve fallen in love with her all over again.”

"But I don't want her to feel that everything I've done for her all this time is in exchange for her having the same feelings for me. I just want her to get better and better, and I hope to do something for her. If she no longer needs me, I don't want her to feel indebted to me."

Jiang Yu sighed and patted my shoulder, "Look at the two of you, you shouldn't have broken up in the first place."

I shook my head with a wry smile and said nothing more.

As dusk fell, we began our journey home. We had already agreed on a time when we left home with Gu Wanlin, and the timing was roughly the same. When we were almost at the hotel, we finally got a signal, and I couldn't wait to call Gu Wanlin.

"How was your afternoon? We'll be there in twenty minutes."

"I'm fine. I've done everything I could. We'll go out for dinner together when you get back. Take your time if you're tired, don't rush."

As soon as we got back and stepped into the hotel, the butler in charge of our villa came up to us, looking rather conflicted, and said, "Good evening, you two. Miss Gu asked me not to tell you, but I feel it's inappropriate not to."

My heart tightened. Gu Wanlin had said he was fine. "What happened?"

“In the afternoon, we received a call from Ms. Gu, asking if we could send someone to help her. I swiped my access card to enter and found Ms. Gu lying on the ground. She said she wanted to transfer from the sofa to her wheelchair but lost her balance and asked if I could pick her up and help her sit back down. I immediately wanted to contact my colleagues to take Ms. Gu to the hospital, but she checked herself over and said that she was fine and didn't need to go to the hospital. She said she knew what was going on and asked me not to contact you two immediately.”

"I'm sorry, although Miss Gu told me not to say, I'm still worried. If you two need any assistance after you get back, we will do our best to help. If you confirm that everything is alright, please let me know, okay?"

After the butler finished speaking, he nodded apologetically and bowed slightly.

I breathed a sigh of relief. It was indeed common for Gu Wanlin to make mistakes and fall on the ground during the transfer. The sofa in the room was not high and there was a thick carpet. Since she checked herself and was carried back in time, she should really be fine.

When Jiang Yu and I weren't around, she was able to ask for help from others in time, which made me feel even more gratified.

Nevertheless, the first thing I did when I got home was to check her over again. Gu Wanlin always had some bruises of varying sizes on her body; bumps, knocks, and falls were unavoidable. An important part of her rehabilitation was learning how to deal with these emergencies, reduce harm, and protect herself. She learned very well.

I helped her turn over to check. She couldn't see her tailbone herself, but thankfully it was fine.

Gu Wanlin buried her head in the pillow, grumbling, "Don't worry, actually I lost my grip on my arm between the sofa and the wheelchair and slipped down little by little. Of course, I won't get seriously hurt. I know what I'm doing. If something had really happened, I definitely wouldn't have let myself be in trouble. Are you done yet? I'm hungry."

Sometimes she seems so proper and aloof, like a flower on a high mountain, and other times she acts like a little child, speaking in a cutesy, affected way that makes me want to slap her on the butt.

The highlight after dinner was enjoying the private hot spring in the villa. The hot spring was cleverly located, with a recessed square pool built into the wooden walkway outside the room. You could walk directly into the hot spring from either of the rooms through floor-to-ceiling glass doors, but the walkway was enclosed by insulated glass to separate it from the courtyard, ensuring both the view and comfort and cleanliness.

There was no problem with Gu Wanlin going in to sit for a while. All we had to do was seal the stoma around her lower abdomen, just like she usually does when she takes a bath at home. However, since the tub was embedded in the ground, Zhang Jie and I usually had to carry her into the bathtub together. Now, Jiang Yu had to come and help, first placing her on the wooden floor before transferring her to the tub.

The three of us sat in a row in the hot spring facing the courtyard, with Gu Wanlin in the middle, supporting her body from both sides to make her sit comfortably. I sat to Gu Wanlin's right, massaging her amputated limbs in the water as usual.

Several months later, her right leg looked even thinner and felt softer to the touch. The doctor said this was normal; even if paralysis prevents active movement, the remaining muscles in the right leg after amputation don't receive the same passive movement as the left leg, so the atrophy will be more severe. Other amputees' limbs usually stabilize within about six months, but Gu Wanlin also suffered from paraplegia, making active exercise impossible, and her blood circulation was poor, so this process was naturally slower.

The amputation wound healed slowly, which was the main reason she couldn't practice sitting for a long time after the injury. The scar on her leg looks slightly lighter than it did a few months ago, turning into a tender pink. When stimulated by hot water, it turns into a deep pink, and it still feels somewhat uneven to the touch.

When I carried Gu Wanlin in, I asked Jiang Yu to help support her right leg. Although Jiang Yu had been with Gu Wanlin since she came back, this was the first time she had seen her body directly like this. She hadn't said much since she sat down, her expression blank, her eyes fixed on Gu Wanlin's leg, lost in thought. She didn't hear Gu Wanlin speaking to her, and it took her a while to react, "Huh? What did you say?"

Gu Wanlin sighed almost imperceptibly, "What? Did I scare you?"

To my surprise, Jiang Yu turned around and hugged Gu Wanlin tightly, bursting into tears and sobbing.

"Gu Wanlin, why do you sound like you're swearing at me..."

"What are you trying to scare? Who could you possibly scare? I just... I just feel sorry for you..."

"Does this hurt you? Waaaaaah..."

Gu Wanlin was clearly caught off guard by this turn of events. He glanced at me in a flustered manner and patted Jiang Yu's back to comfort her. "Oh, why are you crying? It's okay, I really don't feel any pain. That's the only advantage of being paralyzed. Other people are in excruciating pain after amputation, but I don't feel anything at all."

She made it sound so easy. Isn't neuralgia and phantom limb pain painful? She's always like this, enduring it as much as she can without telling anyone.

Jiang Yu cried for a while and gradually calmed down. She was probably a little embarrassed and said that she had specially brought some things for tonight. If she didn't take them out, she would forget about them. After leaving the hot spring, she brought back a bottle of white wine and three wine glasses.

After starting work, my alcohol tolerance improved significantly compared to college. Gu Wanlin could also drink a little back then, but now...

I looked at her with concern.

Gu Wanlin said she felt fine. Although she hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since her injury, she thought a small glass should be fine.

Jiang Yu and I naturally didn't dare let her drink more. We said one cup meant one cup, and we split the rest between the two of us.

After soaking in the hot springs, we discussed our activities for tomorrow and then decided to go back to sleep. The hotel had some facilities for people with disabilities, so it was quite convenient for Gu Wanlin to take a simple shower while sitting down. After I helped her shower, I wrapped her in a bathrobe, helped her into her wheelchair, and then went in to shower myself.

When I came out, I saw Gu Wanlin sitting in a wheelchair with her head down, and I thought she had fallen asleep. When I got closer, she tilted her head up and I realized that her eyes looked very hazy, two red patches appeared on her cheeks, and even the corners of her eyes were tinged with pink.

...I'm hooked.

She wasn't like this before; she wouldn't get drunk from just one glass of white wine. But since her health isn't what it used to be, she shouldn't listen to "what she thinks."

I coaxed her, "Gu Wanlin, let's go to bed."

She tossed her head back and said, "I'm not sleeping."

I found it funny. "If you're not going to sleep, what are you planning to do?"

She opened her arms to me, "I want to hug...you."

She was drunk, but I wasn't. I couldn't possibly take advantage of her while she was drunk. My heart was pounding, but my feet moved closer to her involuntarily, and I half-squatted in front of her wheelchair.

She leaned forward to hug me, but almost lost her balance and fell. I quickly helped her up and made her sit up.

She smiled wryly, a hint of self-mockery in her eyes, "I forgot... I can't hold you..."

I was feeling sorry for her, but I didn't expect her to be so drunk. After only two seconds of feeling sad, she started to get angry at the wheelchair again, saying, "It's all my fault for not being able to hold you. The wheelchair is broken."

I grabbed her wrist as she patted the wheelchair armrest and continued to coax her, "Okay, it's the wheelchair's fault, we won't hold it against it."

She stared at me, as if she had thought of something. Her eyes darted around, and she freed her hand, hooking her wrist to lift the wheelchair armrest. Then, with a satisfied expression, she patted her leg and gestured to me with a flourish:

"Now it's all right. Sit up here. Sit on my lap."