Ask the miracle and ask yourself

"I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed now..." Jiang Jingyuan muttered to himself, trying to give up after disappointment as Sheng Liang said.

For a long while.

Jiang Jingyuan: "..."

She let out another tired breath. She was not disappointed, but disappointed that she had given up on disappointing herself by silently reciting the scriptures.

Jiang Jingyuan felt that he was slowly becoming exhausted and tired, sometimes insisting on persisting, and sometimes thinking "forget it, it doesn't matter".

Jiang Jingyuan collapsed limply into the rocking chair, looking up at the sky in sorrow. The little fox glanced at her, shook his head, and walked away.

Suddenly, a long-lost familiar voice sounded from the upper right—

"Go back to the house now. The moment you step through the door, you will enter your room in the Jiang family's ancestral land in the future."

What? Jiang Jingyuan's heart skipped a beat, then began to pound.

She pursed her lips, took a deep breath, slowly stood up and walked back.

Jiang Jingyuan walked slowly, breathing deeply and silently along the way, and stopped in front of the familiar door. Jiang Jingyuan closed his eyes again, took a slow, deep breath, raised his hand, pushed the door open, and stepped inside.

The moment she opened her eyes and stepped through the door, the voice rang out again: "What are you suppressing in your heart?"

What? Jiang Jingyuan was stunned again. When he opened his eyes, he saw the scene in front of him clearly... It was still the house scene in Princess Changsheng's mansion. He didn't travel to the afterlife?

Jiang Jingyuan was stunned for a moment, then suddenly remembered the question from that voice and tried to think carefully about it.

Just now, my heart... was stuffy and tight, as if I was really trying hard to suppress something...

What is that?

"I..." Jiang Jingyuan's lips trembled slightly, and he whispered slowly in his heart, "I, I am..."

In her mind… in her heart…? Jiang Jingyuan suddenly realized at this moment that she couldn't really tell where the sound came from. She had previously subconsciously thought it was from the upper right corner of her mind, but now she felt that it was coming from the darkness deep in her heart.

But no matter where it came from, the voice suddenly asked her -

"Do you believe in miracles?"

Jiang Jingyuan paused, then suddenly said:

"Of course, of course I believe it!"

She said, "I didn't believe it before, or maybe I couldn't really say I didn't believe it. I just felt it had nothing to do with me, and I didn't care. If I had just heard what others said, I would never have believed it... But now, after so many times..."

Jiang Jingyuan took a deep breath and said seriously, "I believe in miracles."

"Do you believe in miracles?"

The voice repeated.

Jiang Jingyuan felt strange, but still replied, "I believe it."

"Do you really believe in miracles? Do you really dare to believe in miracles?" the voice asked again.

Jiang Jingyuan fell silent.

He said, “You say you believe in miracles, and even you yourself believe that you believe in miracles, but in reality, you only believe in small blessings.”

He asked, "Do you dare to believe in such a miracle that can change the world in an instant? Do you dare to accept it?"

He asked, "When a miracle like that happens, do you feel calm and accepting, 'It's supposed to be this way, this is a miracle,' or do you feel terrified and panicked, wanting to cry and run away?"

Jiang Jingyuan remained silent.

He then asked, "You are standing here right now. In an instant—even shorter than the blink of an eye—everything before your eyes, including yourself, has changed. And I tell you that every instant from now could see earth-shaking changes. What should you do?"

Jiang Jingyuan pursed her lips and remained quiet.

After a long while, she said slowly and self-deprecatingly, "I think I shouldn't cultivate immortality..."

Maybe it would be better to be a mortal?

After a moment, she slowly replied:

"I would be, afraid."

"I will be terrified, I will collapse, I will feel like I am standing in a torrent of illusion, with nowhere to settle down. I want to cry but dare not. I will..." Jiang Jingyuan's heart was suffocated, and his throat was stuck, so he couldn't even speak his thoughts.

Jiang Jingyuan slowly raised her hands and covered her face with her folded sleeves. Even if she just thought about it at this moment...

"Ha." She opened her mouth and let out a low sound that sounded like both crying and laughing.

"I don't dare," she finally said. "I don't dare to believe in miracles. I don't dare to let miracles really happen."

"I'm afraid..."

The girl's voice could no longer hold back her sobs.

Really, really scared...

Even though she knew the facts were not what she worried about, her heart would still be shaken and panicked...fearful and uneasy.

"Do you want to give up?" After a moment, the voice asked, "Do you want to give up cultivating immortality, give up becoming an immortal?"

Jiang Jingyuan's pursed lips suddenly relaxed. She took a deep breath and said, "I don't know... I need some time to think about it..."

Why hadn't she been afraid in her dreams before? Because she knew she could come back. Home was right here, just like a person who had wandered away from home. It didn't matter where they had been or how far they had gone; they could come home whenever they wanted.

But what He said now was tantamount to telling her that if she wanted to become an immortal, she had to be free. Her home was not gone, but the thing called "home" that made her feel at ease was gone.

"It's okay. We have plenty of time," He said. "You can think carefully. No one will rush you. Once you've made up your mind and agreed, you can become an immortal at any time."

Jiang Jingyuan uttered a muffled "hmm".

She needs time. She is even a little afraid to think about this decision. She needs time to accept it.

——She knew she was destined to accept it one day.

How long?

She hoped that day would come soon, but there was a voice in her heart crying and screaming for it to come later...

"Perhaps, I should live a peaceful and stable life like a mortal for most of my life before cultivating immortality?" Jiang Jingyuan muttered to himself. "By then, when the glitz and glamour of life have faded and the hustle and bustle of life has faded, will I be more determined to follow this immortal path?"

"But I won't give up." She suddenly said, "It's not that I want to persist, but I've seen all of this, how can I give up?"

"Nothing can make me give up, not even myself." Jiang Jingyuan said slowly, "Love and resentment are so disturbing. I'm tired of it... I'm a little fed up with it."

"Why are you bored?" He asked again and again, "It's not that you no longer feel anything for it. On the contrary, you still deeply love it. You are bored because it doesn't meet your expectations, because you deeply hope that it will become as good as you hope."

He said, “Do not ask for anything, and do not waver.”

Jiang Jingyuan was quiet for a while, then slowly said in his heart:

"I do not understand……"

"I don't understand. If I hate and resent it so much, why am I unwilling to let go of the past? Why am I unwilling to change? Why... am I afraid to truly and firmly embark on this immortal path?"

He also slowly said: "Humans and even other living beings love pain."

Jiang Jingyuan fell silent.

He said, “They cry and scream in pain, and curse with resentment, but if you really give them a bright way out, they hesitate and dare not take a step, and even become more sad and painful.”

“A person’s greatest support and protection is himself, but his greatest obstacle and limitation is also himself.”

"Thus, people always have a mixture of love and hate for themselves, and their strongest emotions are those they conceal from themselves—their strongest emotions must be directed towards themselves, and even all their emotions are completely due to themselves."

"What people think of as facing outward is actually a cover-up for themselves. What people think of as being calm and peaceful is simply years of suppression that have made them forget everything, but it's still there, it hasn't disappeared."

"And you, when will you be able to completely restore peace between love and hate?"

Jiang Jingyuan staggered into the room, his body trembling, and his breathing was intermittent and heavy under the sleeves that covered his face.

He said gently and slowly, “It is also good to cry and laugh loudly.”

Under the sleeves covering his face, Jiang Jingyuan raised the corners of his mouth tremblingly, and said softly and muffledly: "I used to not like to cry or laugh too loudly."

"Cry and laugh as much as you can, and resolve the emotions as they surface. Suppressing them simply hides them, and one day in the future you will find ways to dig them out."

He said.

…………

"I want to leave here."

"But I always feel like I still have a lot of things left to do. Or rather, it's not that I haven't finished anything. In fact, I could just put all these things aside. It's just me... it's me. I still have unfinished thoughts and obsessions that I haven't let go of..."

"Once my worries are over, I will enter a period of seclusion where I will not stop until I achieve my goal."

"I don't even know why that thing hasn't come yet, why it's unfinished... More and more... I keep having this strange feeling that this extended period of time—it's trying to tell me something, which is why it's been dragging on for so long."

"I was vaguely puzzled. I kept wondering if I hadn't thought my decision through enough. But I hadn't. I hadn't thought it through clearly. I hadn't caught a single inspiration."

"What is it trying to tell me?"

As the morning light broke, Jiang Jingyuan was half asleep and half awake, and heard himself mumbling silently in his heart.

Who can answer this for me?

I am the only one who looks back on it again and again and makes all kinds of guesses.

"Is it stopping me?" Half asleep, half awake, her thoughts racing. "I'm determined to become an immortal, why would it stop me? Is what's stopping me really helping me?"

"It will probably help me." Jiang Jingyuan thought. With more experience, she would gradually understand things. She felt that it didn't seem to be blocking her.

But why did it drag on my worries and obsessions? What on earth had I forgotten?

"It wants to..."

Jiang Jingyuan felt like she was listening to another person talking. These silent voices seemed to be hers, but her mind was hazy and chaotic, and they didn't seem like the mumbling from her own thoughts.

"Is it trying to... help me?"

"It wants to..."

"Will you send me an east wind?"

When this year came out, Jiang Jingyuan suddenly became more sober. He was still confused, but another part of his consciousness was clear-headed and thinking:

"It wants to send me an east wind, it wants to send me upward strength and fortune, it wants to help me rise more gently and steadily."

Ask how to break the deadlock?

It is difficult to say, but it is also simple to say.

Either you drop yourself to the bottom and wait for a force—even if it's very weak, a small wave of force that once couldn't break the deadlock, but in this moment, it can easily lift you up. Then, you can use this momentum to strive to reach the top.

Or, take advantage of the east wind.

Find a strong upward force, rely on it, and let it lift you up strongly.

If you want to pursue stability, then you should stay in a deadlock and let fate lead you up and down. If you want to rise, then you should grit your teeth and pursue the word "movement" with determination, breaking the deadlock first.

In fact, there is no need to think about it. Instead, you should often put things right and cut off the clutter.

She has already reached the realm of quasi-immortal. Most people are too weak and inferior to her. Perhaps their strength may suppress her even more and make her a stepping stone for other beings.

I don’t know who is helping whom.

“And it’s good.”

There is only one word for movement: "movement".

Rising is movement, falling is also movement...

After Jiang Jingyuan figured it out, he calmed down and almost fell asleep. He thought to himself, "It's good. It's gently yet powerfully carrying me up."

In fact, no matter from which perspective, people cannot only pursue ascent while fearing descent, or even be afraid, because fear is already on the road to descent - of course, one should not be afraid of being afraid.

But if we talk about calmly and peacefully accepting the descent, even if we think about it, we can’t help but feel fear...

So, it's good.

She pulled it, and it pulled her upwards.