The more sober you are, the more cruel it becomes.

My method won by a landslide, as expected. Yuan Xikun was a living vote-getter; he needs no further explanation. His experience of successfully reaching Huai City after thirteen days of dancing with zombies convinced all skeptics. Assimilation—is there a better way to become invisible? And with his golden armor and helmet on, we could even stroll leisurely through the streets, casually browsing the supermarket.

It may be disgusting, but as long as it works, that's fine.

After the meal, Liu Meili, Chen Ruonan, Qin Yun, and others gathered around, each with a look of utter disbelief, and asked me, "If it really comes to that, would you really dare to smear zombie blood on yourself?"

I said nonchalantly, "Sure, I'll cover my face in it. Not only will I smear blood on it, but I'll also hang rotten flesh and intestines of zombies on my head and body. You guys have to do it too. This is no joke; you can't show any human trace."

"Ugh!" The group of people started dry heaving again.

My mother stood to the side, her face full of worry: "You dare to spout such nonsense, you're like a shrew! Can't you find a man to say this? Don't you ever think about the fact that you're a girl? It's over, you can even come up with this kind of idea, no man will ever want to be with you."

"Tch!" I scoffed. "If he doesn't like me, I don't like him either."

Liu Meili sidled up to my mother, raising her eyebrows: "Auntie, Xiao Qi isn't the kind of girl who waits for others to pick her. If someone takes a liking to her, she'll definitely bring her back as your son-in-law."

My mom sighed, "It doesn't matter who she likes, she's always out and about, she doesn't even have that in her heart!"

"Don't worry about that. The person Xiao Qi has his eye on won't get away."

My mother turned her head sharply: "Who has she taken a fancy to?"

"Liu Meili," I glanced at her with a dark look in my eyes, "do you want to die?"

"No, no, Auntie, I was just saying that." Having slept with me so much, Liu Meili is becoming less and less afraid of me. Although she made up an excuse for my mother, she chuckled and winked at my left rear.

I didn't turn around, but I unconsciously straightened my back.

"Aunt Cheng, did you make the hand-pulled noodles today? They're delicious." Gao Chen walked over slowly and greeted my mother.

My mom loves hearing compliments on her cooking, so she immediately forgot about my business and chatted happily with him for a few minutes, mentioning how thin he was and asking about his headache. Liu Meili gave me a confused look, waved, and left. I stood next to the two people talking and listened for a few minutes. After confirming it was just pointless, awkward conversation, I interrupted them, told my mom to go back to her dorm to rest, and then walked out of the cafeteria with Gao Chen.

"You're not leaving after you've finished eating, are you looking for me?"

"Yes, I wanted to borrow Xiao Yuan's helmet to take a look. I heard it's with you now."

I pouted and said, "So that's why you talked to my mom for so long. You wanted something from her."

Gao Chen chuckled: "I'm not just looking for you about this. Yesterday, Xiao Zhang and I discussed it and decided to go back to Tongcheng in a few days."

I was taken aback: "Why go back to Tongcheng? Tongcheng... there should be no one there anymore."

His smile was somewhat bitter: "Memory loss is never pleasant. Scattered images often pop into my mind, the faces of people I feel I know but can't remember who they are. Xiao Zhang said my unit is stationed in Tongcheng, so I'll go back to the base to take a look. Maybe it will help with my memory loss."

He is Gao Chen, a soldier, a former special forces soldier with superb skills in handling military equipment. Beyond that, we, like him, know nothing. But how can a person have no past? His family, his friends and comrades, his social background, his military service, even his age—all are blanks. Anyone would be anxious if they suffered such amnesia.

I gave him a sly look and asked, "How old do you think you are this year?"

"Huh?" He seemed not to have thought about this question, and paused before saying, "Around thirty years old? I couldn't find my officer's ID in my old uniform, so I'm not sure."

I've heard that when outstanding military personnel reach marriageable age, the organization arranges semi-arranged marriages. The commander acts as matchmaker, arranging blind dates for nurses, teachers, or women from public institutions. These tough men, raised in relatively closed environments, rarely encounter the alluring women of the outside world, making them easy targets.

Judging from the extent of Zhang Yanhuang's admiration for Gao Chen, he should also belong to the type of outstanding talents that the military wants to retain.

I felt a pang of sadness and unease, but what reason or position did I have to stop people from searching for their memories? I could only smile and say, "I'm not comfortable with just you and Xiao Zhang going back. Once the situation in Huaicheng stabilizes, I'll go with you."

Gao Chen nodded: "There's another important reason. The troops stationed in Tongcheng won't be short of weapons and ammunition. We'll find a way to get them back. Before order is restored, a strong armed force is the foundation of the veterans' existence."

The words "we" and "come back" immediately made me jump for joy. He didn't want to leave Huaicheng. While searching for his memories, he was also thinking about the veterans. He had a sense of belonging to this place.

With this slightly excited feeling, I went to visit Han Bo, and as usual, I only stayed for five minutes before leaving. Thanks to the well-stocked medical warehouse at the veterans' hospital, his injuries were able to remain stable and improve. There was no inflammation or fever, and his overall spirits were quite good. He chatted with me for a bit.

"Go to sleep, talk less and rest more so you can recover your health as soon as possible." I carefully laid his head flat on the pillow, covered him with the blanket, and turned to leave, but he called me back.

"Big wind, Xiao Yu...can he come back?" This was the first time he had spoken to me about Yu Zhongjian since he was injured.

"You don't blame him?"

Han Bo smiled slightly, revealing a sickly and haggard appearance: "What's the use of blaming him? I believe Xiao Yu didn't mean to hurt me. There's nothing I can do about his illness."

“I blame him.” I sat down by his bedside again and whispered, “I have reason to suspect that he deliberately abandoned himself, thus giving other personalities an opportunity to take advantage of him. In a team where everyone treats him as a brother and one of their own, he suddenly did this. He should know what the consequences of doing so would be. This is extremely irresponsible behavior.”

Han Bo advised me, "You can't say that. He's a patient; he can't control himself."

“He can control it.” I said confidently, “You’ve seen Yu Dandan. She was scared away by the zombies after only two days. Since Yu Zhongjian appeared, this personality has been stable for four or five months. Have you ever seen him become emotionally unstable due to any situation? He was fine when we were eating in the canteen that night. Later, when we went out for drinks, he didn’t go out again. In just a few hours, what earth-shattering thing could happen in the veterans’ home to make him feel suicidal? It’s fine if he feels suicidal, but if he switches to a weirdo and gets you into trouble, tell me, isn’t that irresponsible?”

“World-weary…” Han Bo murmured, staring at me thoughtfully: “That night, Xiao Yu originally wanted me to draw a map of the area. I was drinking with you downstairs. Could it be that he actually came to see me?”

I didn't understand: "So what?"

"What if he came to the living room to find me, heard what you said, and got upset?"

I was stunned: "What did I say that provoked him?"

"You said mental illness is hereditary, and that you and he were destined to be apart."

I was immediately displeased: "...You're just throwing mud at him. Oh, a man who has waded through mountains of corpses and seas of blood, a man who treats human life like dirt, a man who wouldn't flinch even if Mount Tai collapsed before him, and you think I could provoke him to want to die just by saying a few words? It would be more believable if you said Zhao Zhuobao was that kind of person, but Yu Zhongjian, impossible!"

Han Bo revealed the weathered look of a man who had been in seven relationships: "Da Feng, even heroes can't resist beauty... no, they can't resist love. Like a turtle eyeing a green bean, he's fallen for you. What can you do?"

What can I do? Just let it be! He's got his eye on me, what's that to me? I don't believe a second that I provoked him! You don't want to blame Yu Zhongjian, you want me to take the fall? Do you think I can bear such a huge wound on my head?

I found Liao Donghui and asked him to turn on the electricity for me on the first floor of the inpatient department. I also asked two people to guard the entrance of the intensive care unit. I went upstairs and dragged Yu Yu, who was starving, downstairs.

We brought the patient into the examination room, "placed" them on the treatment chair, secured their hands, feet, back, and waist, removed their clothes, and attached electrodes. When we were caregivers, we did these kinds of tasks; we were very skilled at it. But today there was no anesthesiologist or doctor; once the door was closed, it was just Yu Yu and me.

I turned on the treatment device, and the output knob was set to zero. I held the switch and looked at the person sitting in the chair with their head down and eyes closed, giving a forced smile: "You should thank the hospital for replacing the AC motor with a pulse motor, otherwise if I were to lose my footing, you would be dead. But pulse is good too, it has a sense of depth. Let's treat the illness properly today."

Slowly turning the switch, Yu Yu went from being completely still to his eyelids starting to tremble. It was still in the low to medium frequency stage, which he could completely tolerate.

"I'm telling you in advance to be prepared; the feeling of a high current will be unforgettable. Now get lost, and I won't make things difficult for you. Otherwise, I'll stay here with you all night and come back tomorrow."

He ignored me completely, not even glancing at me. I raised an eyebrow in boredom and twisted the knob all the way up.

Yu Yu tensed up instantly, her neck stretched out, her eyes widened to their limit, and a beast-like hiss came from her throat. Her muscles swelled up into lumps as if injected with oil.

One second, two seconds, I turned the knob back to the starting position and said calmly, "I didn't break the rules. The extreme electrotherapy is two seconds, and that's exactly what it is."

He suddenly relaxed, the veins on his forehead bulged, red blood vessels appeared on his skin, and his breathing became rapid.

I went over and pulled the gag out of his mouth: "Breathe, breathe heavily, don't suffocate."

He obediently gasped for breath, and after a dozen seconds, he turned his head and gave me a vicious look. With difficulty, he uttered his first words since returning to the human world: "You...you are hostile to me for no reason. I don't want to...I don't want to fight against you. Let me go, and I...I promise I will never go back to the veterans' camp."

I feigned a dilemma: "No, it won't do. It's fine if you leave, but what about Yu Zhongjian? He's my right-hand man, and I still need him to do things for me. You can sleep as usual, and when he comes back, he'll have plenty of food and drink and be free. Anyway, it's all the same body, so you won't lose out, right?"

Yu Yu leaned back in her chair, letting out a weak but cunning laugh: "Yu Zhongjian? There is no such person. Yu Zhongjian is me. It's another personality that manifested after I fell ill. You want him? Sure, I am him. I'll help you."

I clicked my tongue: "I couldn't believe you when I saw that creepy smile of yours. Stop talking nonsense, I need to talk to Yu Zhongjian. If you're not going to sleep, we can get a little more exciting."

Yu Yu stopped laughing and began to show an arrogant expression. He snorted and said, "You won't listen to reason, so you'll have to suffer the consequences. Come on, even Lu Xiaodou can't do anything to me, you can try."

Let's give it a try! I believe in everything except superstition. Who's going to take the fall? Anyone who challenges me will suffer the consequences!

Two seconds passed in a flash, then another two seconds, the intervals increasing from one or two minutes to almost ten seconds. I stood expressionless in front of the control panel, watching Yu Yu convulse, scream, his eyes turn dark, his lips turn pale, and his leg hair stand on end, until he started foaming at the mouth and rolling his eyes, and at times he couldn't lift his head anymore. My heart remained completely unmoved.

The more sober I am, the more ruthless I become. Why am I so ruthless? Because I'm anxious.

We've all met by chance, and I don't necessarily want to bind Yu Zhongjian to this team. He can leave, he can even die—that's his freedom. But the problem is, he and Yu Yu are the same person. Letting this bastard go would be a recipe for disaster, but killing him would be the same as killing my friend. It's an unsolvable dilemma. The only thing I can do is force my friend back. If he wants to leave, if he wants to die, let him die as Yu Zhongjian. We'll respect his choice; it's better than carrying the psychological burden of killing a friend.

Yu Yu seemed to have fainted, his head tilted to the side and he didn't move. I went over and patted his face: "Wake up, rest for a minute and then continue the treatment."

He suddenly let out a soft moan, slowly squinted his eyes, stared at my face for a long time, and then his tone changed drastically: "Master Qi...? You're treating me again today? Oh dear, what's wrong with me? My whole body aches."

My face twitched, and I moved closer to him: "Yu Xiaochun?" Only one personality calls me Master, and every time I do, I feel like an old man squatting at the intersection repairing bicycles.

"Ah, yes," he looked around, gesturing wildly in alarm, "What's going on? Why are you locking me up? I don't hit or bite anyone, why are you locking me up? I'm over fifty and I have to suffer like this. Where's Dr. Lu? Where is Dr. Lu?"

I silently returned to the treatment device, silently turned on the knob, and heard a scream behind me, followed by silence.

He slapped his face repeatedly for several minutes, then opened his eyes again, his accent changed: "Ah! A zombie! A zombie bit me! Help!"

Me: "Yu Dandan?"

The man surnamed Yu saw me struggling desperately: "Captain Qi, Xiao Qi, save me! The zombie has caught me!"

I silently returned to the treatment device, silently turned on the knob, and heard another scream behind me, then silence again.

I twisted his head again and slapped his face for five minutes. Yu never woke up again. I thought he was tough as nails; he couldn't even withstand a small electric current plus anesthesia before, let alone a large one. Anyone can talk tough, right? If you're so tough, don't let a woman have to step in!

I had someone fetch a bowl of cold noodle soup from the cafeteria, and without thinking twice, I forced it down his throat. Then I carried him up to the seventh floor. After all the safety measures were in place, I stood by the bedside, looking at him as if he were dead, for a long time.

When he wakes up again, if it is Yu Yu, I can only continue to take extreme measures; if it is Yu Zhongjian, should I apologize to him?

Han Bo said he might have been triggered by what I said behind his back, which I find hard to accept because I don't think I was wrong. Mental illness is a hereditary disease, with a higher risk from the maternal line and from the congenital line than from the acquired one. This means that if Yu Yu's illness stems from a family history, his offspring have a high chance of inheriting the disease; conversely, the risk is lower, but still present. He clearly knows he has this illness, so he should control his feelings, or at least find a girl willing to be childless with him. I don't want to be childless, and I have some understanding of mental illness; isn't this... making things difficult for him?

The next day when I visited Han Bo again, I told him my thoughts. His reply was: "Feelings are something you can't just control. If you think you can control them, it's because you haven't truly fallen for someone yet."

My eyes flickered as I fiddled with his bed frame: "How could I not have truly liked someone? I've been in relationships before. Wu Bainian may be a jerk, but I did like him back then."

"You just like the feeling of him liking you." Han Bo spoke with the expression of some kind of reclusive master. "Before he cheated on you, he was always clinging to you, revolving around you, always at your beck and call, doing whatever you asked. He was handsome, so it would be a good impression to take him out, and he had a sweet tongue that could make you happy. That's all."

"That's all? What's the point then? Isn't that what you're after when you're dating someone?"

Do you like him? Is it a genuine liking, not just vanity?

"I...I like it." He asked me that, so I wasn't sure anymore.

"After he cheated on you, did you even think about suicide for a fleeting moment? Or about dying together with him?"

I was completely bewildered: "He cheated on me, he deserves to die, but why should I die?"

Han Bo smiled: "It's not really about dying, it's just a state of mind. You wouldn't understand even if I told you. You'll understand when you truly fall in love with someone. To live and die together is a cry from the depths of your soul."

I pouted and said, "Don't curse me. I don't want to run into another jerk."

Without getting to know someone, no one knows whether their true nature is good or bad. But I'm not afraid. As long as you can withstand my punches, you can be a jerk all you want, future boyfriend. As for the so-called "truly loving someone and wanting to live and die with them," I say I can't accept that. Apart from my parents and my sworn brothers, let whoever wants to die, die. I'm not going to die.

Within three days, Mr. Yu did not wake up, and I received two pieces of bad news. First, the field team reported that the number of zombies in the suburbs was increasing significantly, and the speed at which they were killed could not keep up with the speed at which they gathered. Some sections of the road were already full of zombies and could not be passed. The zombie horde was beginning to take shape.

I told everyone to hurry up and collect the zombie corpses, transporting them back to the veterans' quarters one truckload at a time. I also organized everyone to dismember the zombies in their spare time, sorting out the flesh, liver, and intestines. The remains were used as cover around the perimeter of the compound, stacked up layer by layer, to try and build a zombie wall.

Everyone wore masks and gloves, and no one uttered a word of disgust. The process of digging out hearts and lungs gradually became more skillful. For the first two days, the stench was overwhelming, and the sound of gagging could be heard everywhere, but eventually everyone got used to it.

Secondly, just as I was getting into the act of dismembering the body, my mother dragged me to the cafeteria and pointed to a man who looked familiar but whose name I couldn't recall, saying, "This is Xiao Huang. He used to be a teacher at the sports university. He's healthy and educated. You two can have a chat."

I was covered in blood, holding a piece of intestine in my hand, and completely bewildered by the situation: "What are you talking about? What does this mean?"

Xiao Huang didn't seem very happy and said in a muffled voice, "Aunt Cheng means we should go on a blind date."