34. Snow in a silver bowl

◎Confession◎

Li Xiran leaned against the door frame with one hand, nodded and looked at her, "Nuan Nuan, this is my real life."

"Instead of the noble status that outsiders imagine, every step I take is fraught with curses."

His eyes held a mixture of weariness and despair, as if he were finally revealing his true self to his beloved.

“Chen Shaoyi only brought me to Shanghai after my father’s funeral. Since then, her mental state has become increasingly chaotic, and she usually relies on medication to suppress it. Today, when she rushed in and started cursing, it was already the mildest symptom.”

So back then, he was left to live alone in Wan Gong No. 1 for two reasons: firstly, Chen Shaoyi hated him, and seeing him every day would only intensify her pain; secondly, once she lost her mind, she would often accidentally hurt people.

Apart from the nanny that Chen Shaoyi brought from her parents' home, the other nannies in the Li family were frequently replaced. Later, only a nanny who had switched careers from a security company dared to work for the Li family.

The kitchen, the tool shed—anything that could potentially become a weapon in Chen Shaoyi's hands during her episodes—would all be locked up.

“Over the years, I have tried many ways to get rid of her from the Li family. But my father made a will before he died, which stated that as long as Chen Shaoyi is alive, she will have a place in both the Li family and the Li family.”

This was a protective umbrella that Li Qianyun secretly arranged for Chen Shaoyi after learning that she was unable to have children.

Therefore, the Li family appeared to be prosperous internally.

However, there are three forces at the same time: the neutral faction that holds the original shares, the powerful Empress Dowager faction, and the new leader, Li Xiran.

Over the years, Li Xiran has worked hard to maintain the balance of power among the three factions within the Li family.

Of course, some people also suggested cracking down on the Empress Dowager's faction, which was committing all sorts of misdeeds. After all, since Chen Shaoyi's mental state became chaotic, she has rarely appeared in public to preside over official business, and the huge group is entirely in the hands of Li Xiran.

"To be honest, I hate her, and I could have easily bypassed my father's will and taken a different path. But at the same time, I feel incredibly guilty towards her."

"I know she turned to hate because of love. Everyone bears an unshirkable responsibility for how things turned out this way."

Li Qianyun did genuinely like Anya, but knowing he had the responsibility of inheriting the family business, he still couldn't resist the loneliness.

After learning of Li Xiran's existence, she couldn't let go of her identity as a father and was torn between family and bloodline inheritance.

There are no secrets that stay hidden forever, and naturally, there are no foolproof plans. Li Xiran's very existence was like a time bomb in his marriage.

His fairytale marriage with Angela Chen was destined to turn into a terrifying nightmare.

Anya had a glimmer of hope, perhaps because, as the saying goes, parents who love their children plan far ahead for them.

She didn't care whether she could rekindle her relationship with Li Qianyun; she only hoped that Li Xiran would be brought back to the Li family, stand on Li Qianyun's shoulders, and use the Li family's power to advance her social class.

That's why she kept in touch with Li Qianyun, sharing her son's daily life with him, which fostered a bond of kinship between them.

As a child, Li Xiran did not care about Li Qianyun's achievements, nor did he know what the power of the Li family symbolized.

He just wanted his mother to have someone to rely on, and for him to be like a child in an ordinary family, receiving both maternal and paternal love.

He was just too young at the time and didn't think about the consequences of his impulsive and willful actions.

Chen Shaoyi was indeed initially a victim in this absurd situation.

After all, no woman can endure the unexpected death of her husband, bear the news that he had an illegitimate son before marriage, and remain clear-headed and calm for many years.

She didn't even hear a word of explanation or comfort from her husband, and could only continue living with endless hatred.

Cold stares, all sorts of ridicule and mockery.

There were even people who confessed their love and proposed to Li Qianyun while her body was still warm.

Perhaps only in her moments of madness is she truly herself.

"Nuan Nuan, these things are too gloomy. The pure magnolia should not be tainted."

Shang Xinuan's eyes burned, glistening with tears. "Li Xiran, you know me. In a way, I'm also my mother's child born out of wedlock. Until the very last second before she committed suicide, she still deeply loved that unfaithful man."

“We do not have the right to choose our parents, nor should we become victims of momentary impulses, nor should we think of ourselves as broken glass trapped in darkness.”

Shang Chenshu secretly gave birth to her not because she liked children like Anya did.

She only wanted to use this as leverage to win Feng Jiting's heart.

But as a selfish egoist, how could Feng Jiting possibly lock herself up for the sake of a child?

He only accepted Shang Xinuan's recognition of her ancestry because his blood flowed in her veins.

But the mistress of the house only wanted the obedient and easy-to-control Lin Fanglian, who was willing to accept him bringing different women home.

Because these are things that the proud Shang Chenshu cannot accept or tolerate.

“Before I was five years old, my mother often locked me in a dark room. Even now, thinking about it still makes me scared and unable to sleep. I could only fall asleep when there was light outside the window.”

"But I will not be a victim of my parents' love. I will not resist love just because my mother died for love. I will take her as a warning flag to myself, so that when I find myself trapped in a hopeless quagmire, I must get out in time."

Shang Xinu sniffed, her brow trembling. "But actually, I still feel so wronged because of you. Why are you so smart, yet so timid? You clearly care about me so much, and you'd do anything for me, but you just don't dare to make a clean break from the darkness of the past."

His inner conflict and hesitation ultimately severed their romantic relationship.

"sorry."

"It won't happen again."

Shang Xinuan bit her lip, pretending to be calm as she wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye. "Please be brave. Don't let anyone drag you into an abyss that doesn't belong to you. Everyone should be an independent individual, not atoning for anyone else, not living for anyone else."

“Nuan Nuan, at first I did linger on you because you’re beautiful.” Li Xiran raised his arm, trying to soothe her red eyes with his warm, delicate fingertips. “But later I realized that you are more clear-headed than many people, including me.”

"I love you very much, I love you so much because you are even more clear-headed and insightful than I am."

The young lady playfully slapped his hand away, glaring at him with a hint of resentment. "I'm off work, I don't want to hear your nonsense. And please, take better care of yourself and get out of that quagmire as soon as possible."

"It's pouring rain in Shanghai, I'll take you home." Li Xiran said, half-rubbing his fingertips, still carrying the sweet scent that belonged only to the young girl.

Just then, someone knocked on the door. It was the newly dispatched key person in charge of the London project. "Chairman Li, I've come to report to you."

Shang Xinuan raised an eyebrow. "Let Chen Ti take me. I wouldn't dare trouble the chairman."

Li Xiran smiled tenderly, but with work taking precedence, he had no choice but to call Chen Ti.

"Then I'll take you to the garage."

"don't want!"

The young lady turned around, picked up her handbag, raised her eyebrows, and left.

-

On a rainy day in Shanghai, the air is damp and filled with the smell of mud. Even with the lights on, the underground parking garage feels strangely oppressive and dim.

Near the center corner of the wall, a woman clutched her chest and leaned against a pillar.

Chen Shaoyi's face was deathly pale, and her hands trembled like leaves.

She frantically reached into her bag for medicine, but the white glass medicine bottle became slippery. With a crisp sound, the glass shattered on the ground, and the small brown-black pills rolled all over the floor.

Chen Shaoyi quickly reached out to pick it up, but her vision had already become blurry.

Aside from the piercing pain that felt like her fingers were being stabbed to the heart, she spent a long time picking at the blood, only to end up feeding herself a mouthful of it.

Chen Shaoyi stared hopelessly at the basement ceiling, tears streaming down her face in anguish.

He even muttered under his breath, "Li Qianyun, you wait until I come find you, I'll settle the score with you face to face."

So when she saw a girl in a brightly colored dress walking towards her, she instinctively wanted to call for help.

Before she could even speak, she saw the man chasing after her from behind.

The man looked very much like Li Qianyun; when he smiled, the slightly raised eyebrows, the corners of his eyes, and the corners of his lips were almost identical.

"Li Qianyun, I've seen you so soon?" Chen Shaoyi's smile was cold as she slowly stood up. "Is that Anya next to you?"

-

Shang Xin seemed afraid that if she lingered any longer, Li Xiran would break down her defenses, so she grabbed her handbag and ran out.

Just as she realized she had left her phone on her desk and was about to turn back, she saw Li Xiran walking towards her.

It was a sweltering rainy summer day, and he was only wearing a white short-sleeved shirt, the hem neatly tucked into his waistband.

In the dimly lit basement, he was like the only clear and bright moon and wind.

"So forgetful." The tone was full of affection.

Perhaps because she had resolved half of her inner conflict, the young lady no longer spoke coldly to him as she usually did, saying, "If it really got lost, it was lost in your office, so you should compensate me with a new one."

Li Xiran touched the tip of his nose and walked alongside her towards the car as if taking a stroll. "What's the logic behind this?"

"The young lady's reasoning."

"That's really unreasonable. I'll put Lingdong Island on your desk tomorrow."

Shang Xinuan walked slowly forward with her hands behind her back.

But suddenly a force appeared behind her, sweeping across the heavens and earth, and pushed her forward violently.

Wearing low heels, she fell backward to the ground without any warning.

In that instant, it felt like all the bones in her body had been shattered.

But even more intense than the physical pain was the sight of Chen Shaoyi standing behind them at some point.

The woman's voice was shrill and terrifying, hoarse as she asked, "Anya, how are you still alive?"

Then Chen Shaoyi raised a jewel-encrusted dagger and rushed towards her.

The excruciating pain gave her no chance to escape.

She could only watch helplessly as the gleaming dagger, carrying a chilling and murderous aura, hurtled towards her.

"I'll kill you two, you adulterous couple!"

The pain she had anticipated didn't actually hit her body; instead, she witnessed the blade that was supposed to pierce her body sink completely into Li Xiran's heart.

He protected her, using his body as a shield.

That beautiful dagger stood upright at the heart of Li Xiran.

The next moment, Chen Shaoyi's legs went weak and she fainted to the ground.

"Come...come someone!" Shang Xinuan's voice trembled as she stumbled and crawled toward Li Xiran.

Crimson blood had stained his white shirt, and the entire damp garage was instantly filled with the pungent smell of blood.

"Chairman Li?" It was Chen Ti's voice.

"Chen Ti!" Shang Xinu cried out in despair, "Call an ambulance!"

-

Inside the ambulance, which reeked of disinfectant, the blood gushing from Li Xiran's heart nearly overwhelmed Shang Xinuan.

"Li Xiran?" Shang Xinuan gripped his hand tightly, her tears as hot as her blood. "Don't scare me!"

Li Xiran's thoughts were somewhat scattered; he just stared at her with his eyes wide open.

"Family members, call his name." The doctors were also racing against time to do everything they could to save him.

Looking at his pale face, Shang Xinuan's voice trembled and choked with sobs, "Li Xiran, please pay attention to me."

“...”

"Li Xiran, if you dare to die, I will never forgive you for the rest of my life." In the endless silence of Li Xiran, Shang Xinuan had no other choice but to say the cruelest words to him, even if it was a threat.

Whether or not that those words really worked, Li Xiran gasped.

Then his eyelids fluttered slightly, and he smiled at her with gentle eyes.

"Li Xiran, can you hear me?"

In a world that seemed utterly silent, he tilted his head and his lips trembled slightly.

Shang Xinuan immediately understood, knelt down on the ground, and brought her ear close to his lips.

He said, "Miss, if...you say it like that..."

"I want to live to be a hundred years old."

A note from the author:

Li Xiran said he loved her as much as he loved his own life.

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Thank you to all the little angels who voted for me or watered my plants with nutrient solution between 2023-05-16 23:43:22 and 2023-05-17 22:56:25!

Thank you to the little angel who watered the nutrient solution: Jinsheng (5 bottles);

Thank you so much for your support! I will continue to work hard!