Gray Night

There was a roar of an airplane flying across the sky outside. Lin Luo clutched her chest and could no longer cry.

The girl handed Lin Luo a glass of water, and the boss hugged her, stroking her back with his hand.

The boss told her, "Tong Yun was diagnosed with leukemia in the second half of his senior year of high school. He actively underwent chemotherapy, but the results were not good. Fortunately, Xiao Fu helped find me, so we were reunited after many years. I did a bone marrow matching, and only four points matched, making him unsuitable for transplant."

"Her father, that scoundrel, was after the money from selling the house. He refused to match her blood type unless Tong Yun gave it to him. She had no choice but to wait for a bone marrow transplant, but her body couldn't handle the chemotherapy any longer. She didn't take the college entrance exam that year and passed away less than two months after the results came out."

"The one she hated most was you." My aunt touched the necklace around her neck. "She donated part of her remaining money to rural schools in Tibet, left part for us to open this shop, and gave the rest to Xiao Fu. A few years ago, his father was caught for robbery and died in prison as retribution. He got what he deserved."

Lin Qi asked hoarsely, "What about her QQ number?"

"We don't know about that. It seems she also asked Xiao Fu to keep it for her."

"Do you want to go see her?" Auntie touched her head and asked softly.

Lin Luo said "hmm".

Her legs were so weak that she couldn't even get up. She felt that the whole world was gray and white, just like a cemetery. She saw Grandma Liu and Grandpa buried together, with Tong Yun next to them.

The photo on the tombstone showed Tong Yun smiling without makeup, which was her true appearance that Lin Luo hadn't seen for a long time.

How could I be so stupid that I couldn't see that she was sick at that time? I had many opportunities to notice, why did I miss them all? If I had known at that time and stayed with her, would Tong Yun have been able to survive like Uncle Tang?

At least Tong Yun would be happier and wouldn't have to pretend in front of her all the time.

Lin Luo thought a lot, tears fell on her tombstone, and she could only say: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

After a while, she remembered something and wiped away her tears quickly. "You told me to be strong. I haven't cried much in these years, but why can't I help crying when I see you?"

Next to them were two bouquets of chrysanthemums, one a brightly colored bouquet of sunflowers, roses, green lisianthus, chamomile, and baby's breath. The flowers had long since withered. My aunt pointed at the two bouquets and said, "These are what Xiaofu brought for his death anniversary this year."

Lin Luo felt chest pain and couldn't breathe.

Her aunt helped her up and said, "Tong Yun may have kept it a secret because she was afraid you would be sad. You are her best friend... Come visit her more often in the future."

"good."

*

Fu Xingchuan went to the airport to pick up Lin Luo. He was holding a bouquet of gardenias in his hand and thinking about how to tell her everything. He felt that some things were better said face to face.

But when the plane landed and everyone left, Lin Luo still didn't show up.

He took out his phone, and the chat interface was still stuck on the sentence "Why say sorry, you didn't do anything wrong?"

He typed: [I did something wrong. Where are you now? I'll find you and tell you everything.]

Before he sent the message, Lin Luo sent him a message first.

【I know Tong Yun is gone.】

She knows everything

Fu Xingchuan called her, but her phone was turned off and she had blocked him on WeChat, so he couldn't send any messages. Even Tong Yun's QQ was blocked by her.

"Fu Xingchuan, have you picked up Lin Luo?" Zhu Changyu video-called him. He answered. Zhu Changyu looked at the steaming hot pot and asked with a smile, "When will you arrive? We're starving."

Xu Yangyang and Zhu Sui'an looked at him with a smile, and Ruan Ye shook his head.

Fu Xingchuan lowered his head and said, "I'm sorry."

Zhu Changyu was stunned. "Why are you saying sorry again?"

The smiles on the others' faces froze, thinking something had happened to Lin Yu. As they moved closer, Fu Xingchuan confessed, "I've been lying to you all along. Tong Yun passed away from illness at the end of August 2013."

Zhu Changyu didn't hold the phone firmly and it fell directly into the pot, and no one picked it up.

Zhu Sui'an called Lin Luo, Ruan Ye turned off the fire, and Xu Yangyang paid attention to Zhu Changyu, wanting to comfort him, but he seemed unable to accept it for the time being and ran out.

He ran aimlessly, recalling his first encounter with Tong Yun. It was one night in his freshman year of high school, when he was being bullied and beaten by a group of hooligans. She, a girl who looked even thinner than him, bravely stood up and protected him, saying, "What's the point of bullying others?"

Tong Yun was the second person to protect him.

Later, he saw Tong Yun taking care of his grandmother, who worked hard to make money after her grandmother passed away. He saw her being surrounded by a group of gangsters, and it was Fu Xingchuan who saved her. He saw them together.

It was she who said to him when his grades hadn't improved: "Zhu Changyu, don't be discouraged. You are very smart and you will definitely be able to get into university. I believe in you."

It was she who put candy in his palm and told him, "Dreams are the opposite of what they actually are. Eat something sweet to be happier." But it was obvious that she herself was living such a hard life.

It was she who accepted the scarf and notebook he gave her, and said happily, "It's great to have friends like you, Zhu Changyu, thank you."

When he met the person who bullied him in the past again, but was still afraid to confront him and felt inferior, Tong Yun told him: "Zhu Changyu, violence is wrong. You are not weak. You are loyal. You will protect your friends and stand up for me when I am in trouble."

"No one says you have to be strong or good at fighting. You are who you are. In my mind, whatever you are is fine."

Zhu Changyu stopped running and looked around, not knowing where he was running to, but Tong Yun was not anywhere.

My eyes are wet and I can't see anything.

Zhu Changyu had locked himself up at home for two days without eating or drinking. Xu Yangyang couldn't bear to see him like this, so she brought him some food. She moved very carefully, but Xuehua, not knowing what was wrong with her brother, walked around with a swagger, which ended up getting her into trouble.

Its claws stepped on a yellowed physics test paper with only 26 points. Zhu Changyu saw it, picked up the paper, and yelled at it, "Get out."

Xuehua was frightened. Xu Yangyang shouted to Zhu Changyu, "Why are you yelling? Does Tong Yun want to see you like this?"

Zhu Changyu closed his eyes and said calmly, "You go out too."

Xu Yangyang put down a USB drive and held the dog leash. "Let's go out, Xuehua, let's go."

The door closed, Zhu Changyu opened his eyes, picked up the USB drive, and plugged it into the laptop with trembling hands.

There was a video inside. He clicked play and Tong Yun appeared on the screen.

"It's June 6, 2013. I was supposed to take the college entrance exam with you, but my body can't hold out that long... I'm so sorry I can't fight alongside you. You better keep going! I believe you'll use your pens as weapons and win this battle."

Zhu Changyu stared at her with bloodshot eyes, the same look as in her memory, but a little different.

The background is the sea in Huaicheng. She is wearing a white T-shirt with a black rabbit pattern, a scarf and a red plush hat.

She turned the camera around. "Look, there's a rainbow. I'm lucky, aren't I?! This side of the rainbow is me, and the other side seems to be towards No. 1 Middle School. So even though you can't see me, I might be waiting for you at the other end of the rainbow. Don't worry, we won't get separated... I hope you all live long lives, and then come find me again."

"Zhu Changyu, the scarf you gave me is very beautiful. I was afraid I wouldn't have the chance to wear it this winter, so I put it on now. Does it look good?"

Beautiful, very beautiful.

"My friends, I'm glad to meet you. I'm sorry for keeping this secret from you. I hope we can still be friends in the next life. By then, I will definitely live longer than I do now and not fall behind you."

She waved her hand and wiped away her tears, "...Goodbye, we'll see each other again."

The show ended and then replayed, over and over again. It started to rain heavily outside the window. There will be a rainbow after the rain, right? Then he can see Tong Yun again, right?

He wants to find the rainbow.

*

Zhu Sui'an found Lin Luo at the beach. She was sitting on the beach with her knees hugged, watching the sea.

The wind blew up white waves, as pale as her face.

She sat down next to Lin Luo, handed her a notebook, and said softly, "This is what Tong Yun left behind."

Lin Luo hesitated for a second before reaching out to take it.

Her hands were shaking and she couldn't turn the pages of the book, so Zhu Sui'an helped her.

What is written in the front is a diary.

March 9, 2012

Why don't I have any friends? Is it because I don't do well in school? Is it because I look poor? Or is it because Tong Xiuyuan is a gangster?

Today, I helped someone catch a thief and saw a girl about my age at the station entrance. She's very special. I've never seen someone so quick to compliment someone right off the bat. She has beautiful eyes and a lovely smile. I wish I had a friend like her.

March 12, 2012

Her name is Lin Xiao, such a cool name. I was afraid people would find out what was going on at home, but she said she would keep it a secret for me. She's so nice.

April 19, 2012

【I have friends now, I’m so happy! 】

Today, Lin Xiao cried because of her grades. Seeing her beautiful eyes shed tears made me so sad.

【I want to improve with her and become excellent together! 】

Later, she stopped writing in a diary and started recording her own and Lin Luo's grades. Lin Luo found that she didn't take any exams later, but her grades were still recorded.

During the time when she was seriously ill, she saw Lin Luo's progress again and again and wrote it down in a notebook.

Last page.

June 23, 2013

Lin Xiao scored 672 points, which is amazing. Her hard work paid off. Whether she goes to Peking University or another university, she should be able to choose a good major. I hope she can pursue her passion and become a better person in the future.

[By the way, I also hope she can find someone who really likes and loves her, and not end up like her mother.]

There was a creased piece of paper tucked inside the page, which was her critical illness notice.

There is another photo, which is their group photo. It was the last group photo taken by Fu Xingchuan on the day of their graduation photo.

Two girls in white school uniforms hugged each other and made a V-sign.

Lin Luo closed the notebook and looked up to find that everyone was sitting next to her except Fu Xingchuan.

Zhu Sui'an said, "It was Tong Yun's wish to keep it a secret from us. Fu Xingchuan didn't do it on purpose."

"Yes! If Tong Yun knew you were married, he would also hope you were happy." Xu Yangyang wiped her tears and handed a piece of paper to Zhu Changyu. He said softly, "I don't blame him."

The sky turned azure blue and dark gray, merging with the silent sea, with a star embedded in it like a diamond.

Ruan Ye rarely spoke. "There's a law of physics that says all matter is indestructible. Stars explode and create new atoms. 10 to the power of 28 of those atoms reassemble into a human body. When a person dies, the atoms in their body might become dew or part of a leaf. After a long time, they'll transform into new stars again."

"She didn't leave, she just stayed with us in an invisible place."

Suddenly a gust of wind blew, and Lin Luo didn't hold the photo firmly, so the wind blew it into the sea. She quickly stood up to pick it up.

The photo flowed farther with the water, but Lin Luo continued to move forward despite the deepening water. In fact, it was very dark, and she could not see or find her way back, but she still did not stop.

"Lin Luo." Fu Xingchuan came at some point and held her.

She was very haggard and thin, and looked like she was about to faint at any second, with despair in her eyes.

"Tong Yun left a long time ago. You were the one who pretended to be her and talked to me all along. You were also the one who sent the birthday cake, right?"

The waves crashed against the shore, and it was pitch black around them, as if they were the only two people there. "Yes."

"You deliberately schemed against me at Sui'an's wedding in order to marry me. And you also deliberately didn't reply to my messages afterwards, right?"

"Yes, but I..."

"Is it fun to see me being played around by you?" she said in a hoarse voice.

"Lin Luo, I'm not kidding you, I..." he said seriously.

Lin Luo, however, refused to listen to him and lost control of her emotions. "Enough, I've had enough. You clearly know how important Tong Yun is to me, yet you still use her to trick me, making me treat her as an imaginary enemy and causing me to burn myself out over and over again. Fu Xingchuan... I shouldn't have fallen for you. For eleven years, I've been a joke. I'm really tired."

When you meet someone you like again, you will still like them very much, and this love will continue to deepen until you really have this person.

But after having it, it seems to be just like that.

This is not the love she wants.

"Fu Xingchuan." Lin Luo took a few steps back to break free from his hand and said calmly, "Let's just call it a day and stop pestering and torturing each other!"

Some stories don't have to be perfect as long as they are profound.

Lin Luo seemed to be laughing, but her laughter was sadder than crying.

There was no moon in the night sky. Lin Qiao walked towards the shore. Fu Xingchuan watched her back as she quickly disappeared into the darkness, and so did he.