Chapter 35 He felt, however, that she was brighter than the heavens…

Despite his injuries, Xie Linyuan and Su Muying returned home as he had hoped.

When he and she returned, Su Muying's child, Xie Nian'an, had just come back from Tao Tao's house.

He was not yet four years old, but he was extremely handsome. He had two little pigtails on his head, and his face was as delicate as a porcelain doll. At first glance, it was really hard to tell whether he was a boy or a girl.

When Xie Linyuan first saw this child, he felt a strange sense of familiarity, as if he vaguely saw Su Muying's features.

He thought he was just delirious and hallucinating, but he never expected that it really was... his and Ying'er's child.

"Mommy, I'm back!" The child saw his mother at a glance and immediately shouted happily. His short little legs ran as he ran, trying to rush into his mother's arms.

But before he could rush into his mother's arms, a strange-looking person stood up and seemed to be walking towards him.

A dark shadow loomed over. Xie Nian'an was just a child, and Xie Linyuan was not only a stranger to him, but also a blood-covered, terrifying monster.

He was extremely tall, and Xie Nian'an was just a tiny mushroom in front of him, so naturally she was terrified.

However, after Xie Nian'an looked at Xie Linyuan's face, she immediately recognized him. She didn't care whether she was afraid or not, and immediately opened her arms, as if she wanted to stop him.

"It's you!"

"It's that bad guy!"

"You are not allowed near my mother!"

Su Muying sighed and beckoned to Xie Nian'an: "An'an, come here."

"Mother..." Hearing her mother call her, the soft, white little bundle rolled to Su Muying's feet, clinging to her leg and whimpering, "He's a bad person. When Tao Tao and I were picking locust flowers, he kept watching us. It was so scary..."

"Mommy, is he a bad person?" The little dumpling frowned and looked up to ask his mother.

Su Muying bent down and patted the child's head, but did not answer his question.

An'an.

The two words slowly reached his ears, and Xie Linyuan was slightly taken aback. Then, he asked with difficulty, "What's your name?"

Xiao Xie Nian'an was a little afraid of him, so she didn't say anything and just kept holding tightly to Su Muying's leg.

Su Muying gently patted Xie Nian'an's head and said to him, "An'an, tell him what your name is. Don't be afraid."

The child adored his mother. Upon hearing Su Muying's words, he said "Oh" and obediently replied, "My name is Xie Nian'an."

As expected, just as predicted.

When he heard the word "An", he guessed it.

"Nian—An".

"Nian'an, Nian'an..."

Nian An.

Xie Linyuan murmured the two words over and over again. Each time he uttered them, it was as if he had swallowed a knife, and as he swallowed it, his chest was stabbed with one bloody hole after another.

These two words have already revealed everything.

Under the gloomy sky, his skin appeared even paler, and he seemed deeply chilled.

A stream of bright red blood slowly flowed from the corner of his mouth.

Su Muying glanced at it, her long eyelashes trembled, and then she calmly looked away.

Xie Linyuan didn't say anything.

After swallowing mouthfuls of blood, he simply raised his hand to wipe away the blood seeping from his lips, without saying a word, and tried to follow Su Muying into the house.

The child felt that Xie Linyuan in front of him was really a bad person. Seeing him walk towards his mother step by step, he was scared, but he still clenched his fists and blocked him.

"I will protect my mother! You will not be allowed to bully her!"

Even though he was less than four years old and not even as tall as his knee, he dared to clench his fist and block his way.

He knew he had to protect her.

But what did he do before?

Xie Linyuan chuckled. He lowered his head and gently placed his large hand on Xiao Nian'an's head. He tilted his head and looked at the child in front of him who had his and Su Muying's blood, but whose name contained his brother's name. Suddenly, he felt a little like teasing him.

He raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his voice, and sighed, "You're too short and too weak, like a radish..."

"You need to grow taller. If you grow taller and learn martial arts, you can protect your mother, understand?"

Although Xiao Nian'an is not even four years old, he is extremely smart. Although he is mischievous and active, he is also quick-witted. He understands many of the things adults say. At this moment, when he heard Xie Linyuan say that he was short, weak, and like a radish, his face fell instantly.

He couldn't hold back any longer and burst into tears, then ran towards Su Muying again.

Su Muying picked up Xiao Nian'an, turned around and gave Xie Linyuan a disgruntled look, her eyes filled with obvious disdain and blame.

There was also a hint of looking at him like he was an idiot.

It seems they can't understand his behavior at all.

"Why are you saying these things to a child? Don't bully him."

Xie Linyuan spread his hands awkwardly and shrugged.

Su Muying carried Xiao Nian'an into the house.

Xiao Nian'an, perched on his mother's shoulder, turned his round head and stuck out his tongue at Xie Linyuan, making a face, completely unlike his previous pitiful state.

When Xie Linyuan saw Xiao Nian'an making a face at him, he was stunned for a moment, and then burst out laughing.

The laughter sounded extremely cheerful and bright; Xie Linyuan had probably never laughed like that before.

He laughed so hard he bent over, and when his wounds reopened and started bleeding again, Xie Linyuan's laughter suddenly stopped.

He stared wide-eyed at a spot, his dark eyes unfocused, tears streaming down his face.

If only it had been like this from the beginning.

How wonderful.

Can he atone for his sins?

——

That evening, after coaxing Xiao Nian to sleep, Su Muying treated Xie Linyuan's wounds.

Xie Linyuan was much quieter and more silent than before.

The arrogant and fierce aura emanating from him vanished, replaced by a vulnerability that yearned for Su Muying's comfort.

Like a drowning dog that has been pulled out of the water, he squats in front of her, waiting for her to show him any pity or charity.

Xie Linyuan sat hunched over on the bench, head bowed, letting Su Muying manipulate him.

He took off his shirt, revealing clearly defined pectoral and abdominal muscles from top to bottom, with lines that possessed both aesthetic appeal and a sense of power poised to be unleashed.

Having fought and practiced martial arts for many years, Xie Linyuan's body had always been strong. But at this moment, the crisscrossing bloodstains on his body made him look exceptionally terrifying, even pitiful.

His head was bowed low, his peach blossom eyes were red and misty, and his long eyelashes blinked as if water droplets were attached to them.

Xie Linyuan was lost in thought, completely oblivious to what was going on.

"Did you cut yourself?" Su Muying suddenly asked him.

Upon hearing her voice, it was as if a switch had been flipped on a marionette. Xie Linyuan abruptly raised his head, and when he saw the woman in front of him, his usually dormant peach blossom eyes suddenly burned like bright fire.

He just looked at her like that, and Su Muying felt as if her skin was being slowly burned, a torturous burning sensation gradually spreading.

Xie Linyuan lowered his head again, staring at his outstretched hands.

He neither admitted nor denied it, but instead asked her a completely unrelated question: "Ying'er, is Anzhou... very important to you?"

Su Muying seemed surprised that he would suddenly ask her that question.

She was somewhat surprised, her handwashing motion paused, and thinking of her parents, and the wars that Anzhou had endured, Su Muying's thin eyelids drooped, and her eyes welled up with tears. She said:

"Yes, it's very important."

Su Muying replied to him. After washing the sticky blood off her hands, she turned to look at Xie Linyuan. Her peach-blossom-like face was no longer calm and serene, but instead revealed a rare mocking smile.

"General Xie, you shouldn't be asking me that."

"Now that you have occupied Anzhou, are the people of Anzhou unimportant to you?"

Looking at the person in front of her, Su Muying's mind would occasionally flash back to that dark room, and to the monster standing in front of her bed staring intently at her.

But at this moment, Xie Linyuan was hanging his head like a dog. The Xie Linyuan covered in wounds, the Xie Linyuan praised by the people, Su Muying found it hard to connect him with the person she knew before.

What exactly does he want to do?

Seeing that Xie Linyuan had not spoken for a long time, Su Muying said sarcastically, "That's right. How could powerful and noble people care about the ants under their feet? But since General Xie has occupied this city and the people praise you so much, General Xie should do what he should do."

Su Muying's words were barbed. After she finished speaking, she felt a faint sense of pleasure at getting revenge on him, but she couldn't help feeling a sense of fear.

Will this anger him?

She was the one who angered him before, she...

Su Muying's body trembled slightly.

Xie Linyuan seemed to have listened to her words carefully. He hummed in response and then fell silent, as if he was thinking about something. After a moment, he got up and walked towards Su Muying.

Xie Linyuan was still shirtless, and under the room lights, his powerful physique and muscles were on full display before Su Muying. The fierce, bloodthirsty strength rooted in his body for many years could not be erased.

That familiar yet terrifying sense of oppression, like a cold, venomous snake, slowly coiled around her from her ankle.

Su Muying suddenly tensed up. Just as she regretted having felt pity, Xie Linyuan walked up to her, but only bent down slightly, lowered his head, and looked at her at the same level.

Both of them had very long eyelashes; if they blinked, they seemed like they could touch.

They were so close that Su Muying could see her reflection in his peach blossom eyes, and his warm breath slowly crept onto her lips.

Her lips became more vibrant, as if she had applied rouge.

In her panic, Su Muying stumbled backward and bumped into a vase standing on the table behind her. Xie Linyuan reached out, caught the vase before it fell to the ground, and put it back on the table.

He spoke softly, his hoarse voice gently brushing against Su Muying's earlobe, sending a shiver down her spine.

"Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you." As if afraid of frightening her, Xie Linyuan took a few steps back, staring intently at the woman in front of him. His dark eyes were lowered, shimmering with a watery light. His eyes were too dark and too bright, as if they were being washed by some intense emotion.

He thought he had tried his best to hide his greed, but what Xie Linyuan didn't know was that his desire and longing for her were too deep and too heavy to be hidden no matter what.

But now, his tenderness for her has suppressed these possessiveness, desire to control, destructive tendencies, and even love/desire.

He began to try to grow flowers, carefully rather than roughly breaking them and letting them wither and fall into the dust.

He didn't want her to die; he just wanted her to live happily.

Just like the girl holding a flower branch after the rain, or like her sleeping lightly under the flowering tree in spring.

The girl covered in blood became his inner demon.

Xie Linyuan experienced fear and terror for the first time.

“I will guard Anzhou, Ying’er, you don’t need to worry.”

His voice was very soft, as soft as a breeze on this spring night.

Su Muying even wondered if this was just her imagination.

Xie Linyuan turned around and put on his clothes. He bit his hairband and tied his hair up. After tying up his long hair, he smiled at the panicked Su Muying and said, "It's late. You should go to sleep. I'll keep watch outside."

"Don't worry, I won't come in."

He slept outside the door the first night.

Despite the chill of early spring and the heavy dew, it was the first time in four years that he had a good night's sleep.

When Su Muying opened the door in the morning, she saw Xie Linyuan.

He seemed to be shrouded in a layer of morning mist.

He closed his eyes, curled up his long legs, placed one hand on his knee, and his long eyelashes swayed gently, as if dewdrops were shimmering on them.

Su Muying thought he would leave.

It was a chilly early spring night; did he really sleep outside all night?

Su Muying put Xiao Nian'an down from her arms and whispered to him, "An'an, wake him up."

Xiao Nian'an climbed down from his mother's arms and barked into Xie Linyuan's ear:

"Get up!"

Although the child is not yet four years old, he still has a babyish voice, but he also has the mischievousness that is unique to children of this age. He shouts very loudly and in a very harsh way.

After calling out, Xiao Nian'an was afraid that Xie Linyuan would beat him, so he quickly reached out and asked Su Muying to hug him.

Xie Linyuan woke up when the door opened and Su Muying's scent filled the morning mist.

Holding Xiao Nian'an, Su Muying looked down at Xie Linyuan and asked, "Aren't you afraid of losing your life?"

"Xie Linyuan, do you want to die?"

Xie Linyuan stood up, indeed enveloped in mist and chill. Dewdrops clung to his long eyelashes, dripping down with each step. When he looked at her, his eyes held a pool of spring water, shimmering with ripples in the morning light.

Add to that his face, his appearance—Su Muying admitted—and he certainly had the allure to make people lose their minds.

But despite his handsome face, he used to act like a demon.

Is his current posture just another act of pretense?

What exactly does he want to do?

"Ying'er, it depends on you." Xie Linyuan stared at her with his dark eyes and replied very seriously.

Su Muying found it very funny.

She won't believe him.

Once his injuries had healed, Su Muying wanted to send him back.

She wouldn't keep a wild beast by her side.

Especially since it was a wild beast that could devour her at any moment.

Xie Linyuan naturally knew that Su Muying had kept him around only because of Anzhou and because she felt some pity for him, who was covered in wounds.

As a result, his wounds never healed.

Xie Linyuan spent a rare period of peace here.

During the day, he went up the mountain to hunt, do laundry and cook, and at night he would stand guard at Su Muying's door, take out a short knife, and deepen those wounds.

Days passed, but his wound showed no signs of healing.

Su Muying was puzzled. One night, after the lights were turned off and Xie Linyuan thought she had gone to sleep, she suddenly opened the door.

Under the moonlight, the blade reflected a cold light, and she saw Xie Linyuan cutting open his skin with the knife.

Blood started flowing again.

"Xie Linyuan, you really are a madman," Su Muying said, her voice cold.

The knife clattered to the ground.

Xie Linyuan sat on the ground and looked up at her. The moon hung high in the night sky behind her, but at this moment, he felt that she was even more distant than the bright moon in the sky.

"Yes, I am a madman..."

Xie Linyuan laughed, and the hazy, thin layer of moonlight reflected on his face, making his expression appear even more tragic.

"I'm a madman..." he muttered, then said, "Could you... have pity on me?"

"Could you... take pity on a madman?"

He used to be such an arrogant person, always looking down on her, but now he's covered in blood, begging her like a dog, begging her to have pity on him, to look at him more, to... let him stay by her side.

Su Muying stood under the bright moon, gazing at him for a long time without saying a word.

Su Muying did not answer his question. After a long time, she spoke gently as usual.

You can't detect a single emotion in his voice, not a trace of joy or aversion.

"Pity you? Xie Linyuan, you don't need my pity."

"If you dare to cut me with a knife again, I will kick you out immediately."

Xie Linyuan lowered his eyes and drooped his head, revealing a section of his white nape that seemed to overshadow the moonlight.

He gave a soft "hmm" in response.

After that, Xie Linyuan never again, nor dared to, cut his own flesh with a knife.

As the days passed, just as Xie Linyuan's injuries were almost healed and Su Muying was planning to send him out of Huaihua Village the next day, Wu Zizhuo appeared.

Huaihua Village is located in a remote area. Although there are troops stationed outside Anzhou City, the key defensive positions are not located here.

After Xie Linyuan amassed troops in Anzhou, the imperial court attacked. He did not implement a scorched-earth policy. Those people outside Anzhou who were willing to enter the city entered early. The rest were from remote villages far from the battlefield.

Very few, but Huaihua Village happens to be one of them, and Wu Zizhuo just happened to find it.

The imperial court regarded Xie Linyuan as a rebel. In order to win over the people and have a legitimate reason to attack Xie Linyuan, who was called a rebel, they did not plunder or massacre the villages outside the city.

At this very moment, in this remote place, Wu Zizhuo led his soldiers to surround the village, herding the villagers together and drawing their swords, as if they were about to slaughter them all at any moment.

The villagers had never seen anything like this before. Some cried out, some begged for mercy, and the children wailed loudly.

Su Muying stood in front, holding little Xie Nian'an, with Wu Zizhuo opposite her.

Dressed in brocade robes with a jade pendant at his waist, he looked more like a refined young gentleman than a general.

"Miss Su, it's been a long time since we parted at the city gates..."

Wu Zizhuo laughed, his eyes still those cunning, smiling, yet unfathomable fox-like eyes.

Compared to a few years ago, the composure and confidence in those eyes were gone; all that remained was the struggle of someone at their wit's end.

People who are driven to the brink of despair often resort to any means necessary.

“I know Xie Linyuan is here.”

“Miss Su, I’ll give you a chance to repay my kindness.”

"Hand over Xie Linyuan."

"Otherwise, I will kill everyone in this village..."

"Miss Su, hand over the person."

At this time, Xie Linyuan was not in the village; he was hunting in the mountains.

He hunted two rabbits and wanted to go back and make braised rabbit meat for Su Muying and Xiao Nian'an.