Chapter 4 Don't Go

She looked up, her tone deliberately light.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve hardly touched the living expenses I’ve sent you over the past few years.”

Xie Lingling pursed her lips and lowered her voice.

She specifically checked the account and found that her daughter had never touched the money.

She felt a pang of sadness, but dared not confront her directly. She could only use this plain sentence to probe her daughter's attitude.

Every time Xie Lingling calls, her daughter always says a few words in a hurry, then makes excuses about having to go to class or something else, and hangs up in a rush.

She could hear the weariness in her daughter's voice, and she could also hear her daughter's aloofness.

She wanted to say a few more words, to ask if she was cold, and if she was eating well.

But when the words were about to come out, they were always stopped by saying, "Mom, I have class later."

She understood that the child still resented her.

But what could she say?

explain?

excuse?

Or is it to express one's helplessness?

She was afraid that if she said too much, her daughter would think she was shirking her responsibility.

Sending her abroad was a last resort.

It's not that she didn't want to keep her, it's not that she didn't care about her.

Rather, reality left her with no other choice.

If she stayed, the consequences would be something she couldn't bear.

If word gets out about what happened back then, Old Mrs. Zhou won't acknowledge her, and the Zhou family won't tolerate her.

Everyone in the industry treats her as a joke.

She remembered that night, when Old Mrs. Zhou sat coldly in the main seat, not even bothering to pour her a cup of tea.

"If you dare to let her stay, I'll pretend I don't have you as my daughter-in-law."

She knew that if she resisted, her daughter would completely lose all the protection of the Zhou family.

"I work part-time and also intern at a law firm, and I earn enough to live on."

Song Zhiwei's voice was calm.

She didn't want Xie Lingling to think she was doing badly, and she didn't want the other party to think she needed any compensation.

Song Zhiwei did not want to spend the Zhou family's money.

Even if the money belonged to her, she was unwilling to touch it.

She always remembered the condescending manner of Grandma Zhou when she was a child.

When she was seven years old, she wanted to eat a piece of cream cake, but because she looked at it a few more times, she was scolded in public by Grandma Zhou.

"Does this foreign bastard deserve to eat such expensive food?"

From that day on, she knew that she would always be an outsider in this family.

Xie Lingling felt a little uncomfortable seeing how polite she was to her.

She longed to hear her daughter complain, whine, or even throw a tantrum at her.

But Song Zhiwei didn't; she maintained a perfectly appropriate distance throughout.

But there's no way to close the distance all at once, so I can only silently console myself.

Take it slow, things will get better eventually.

She knew she owed them too much.

She just hoped that she still had time.

Wait until the day her daughter is truly willing to accept her.

"You must be exhausted, Mom won't disturb you any longer."

She glanced at her daughter's slightly tired face and couldn't help but reach out to straighten her collar.

But in the end, they took it back.

There are some actions that I haven't done in so long that I don't even have the courage to reach out.

Go to bed early.

After saying that, she tiptoed out of the room.

The crack in the door narrowed, and the last ray of light was cut off.

Silence returned to the room.

Song Zhiwei finally breathed a sigh of relief and slowly relaxed.

She slid down onto the floor, leaning against the door panel.

She thought she would cry.

But my eyes were so dry and painful that I couldn't shed a single tear.

She couldn't adapt to Xie Lingling's current situation for a while.

The mother who was once cold and distant suddenly became cautious and considerate in every way.

This change made her uneasy, even somewhat fearful.

She didn't know how to respond.

Xie Lingling used to almost never care about her.

From the time she could remember, her mother's gaze was always fixed on Zhou Zhuoye and Zhou Xiaolu.

She remembered one time when Zhou Xiaolu deliberately knocked over her lunchbox, spilling white rice all over the floor.

Before she could even speak, Xie Lingling scolded her.

"Why didn't you put it away properly? Your brother didn't do it on purpose."

But she clearly saw the smugness flash in Zhou Xiaolu's eyes.

In her memory, her mother often coaxed her two younger brothers in the living room.

She could only stand in the corner and watch silently.

She stood in the shadows of the entryway, clutching a cold bento box in her hand.

She realized then that she would never be the main character in this family.

She walked into the bathroom with her pajamas and turned on the shower.

Wait for the water temperature to slowly rise to a suitable level.

Hot water slid down her shoulders, washing away her tired body.

The rising steam blurred the mirror.

She closed her eyes and let the water splash on her cheeks.

Then she crawled into bed and curled herself up into a small ball.

The quilt was new and had a faint scent of laundry detergent.

But the unfamiliar touch made her feel uneasy for a moment.

The room was so quiet that you could hear your own soft breathing.

I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep in the new environment.

The scene of parting at the airport keeps replaying in my mind.

As a result, as soon as my head hit the pillow, my eyelids became so heavy that I couldn't lift them.

She had a dream in the middle of the night.

The dream was so vivid, it was like a replay of that scene from years ago.

She dreamt that Xie Lingling had packed her luggage and was carrying a suitcase, ready to leave.

She clung tightly to Xie Lingling's clothes.

She cried and begged her not to leave, tears streaming down her face.

It was snowing that day, and snowflakes fell one by one onto her thin coat.

She stood barefoot in the snow, her feet stinging from the ice shards.

But she ignored the pain and just kept lunging forward.

"Mom, don't go, don't leave me. I promise I'll be good from now on and won't make you angry again. I'll do whatever you want..."

"Don't leave me...please..."

No matter how much she shouted, her hand was forcibly pried open.

She lost her balance and fell into the snowdrift.

My face was covered in ice shards, and it was freezing cold.

She struggled to lift her head, wanting to see her mother one last time.

But the woman didn't even turn her head.

"Zhiwei, Zhiwei."

Song Zhiwei opened her eyes with difficulty.

My vision was blurry for a while before it slowly focused.

Surprisingly, I saw Zhou Yuze standing by the bed.

"Uncle?"

She murmured to herself.

Is he delirious from the fever?

How did Zhou Yuze end up in her room?

"You have a high fever, over 39 degrees Celsius, and your condition is not mild."

As Zhou Yuze spoke, he wrung out a towel that had been soaked in cold water and placed it on her forehead.

The coolness cleared her muddled mind a little.

He passed by her room when he got up in the morning.

I could hear someone inside whispering, "Don't go."

At first, he thought she was talking in her sleep.

But after listening for a while, I noticed that the sound was getting more and more urgent.

He sensed something was wrong, gently pushed the door open, found it unlocked, and then pushed it open to come in.

It turned out that her face was burning red.

Song Zhiwei only realized at this moment that her whole body was so weak that she couldn't muster any strength.

Cold air was seeping out from between my bones.

Even wrapped in a thick blanket, she couldn't stop shivering.

"My sister-in-law had to go out unexpectedly and won't be back for a while. I've already called a doctor, and he'll be there soon."

Zhou Yuze spoke calmly.

Song Zhiwei gave a soft "Mmm".

My throat feels dry and sore, like it's been cut with a knife.

She found it difficult to say even one more word, so she could only close her eyes.