Chapter 27: Broken Dream

The old dormitory became the wedding room of Hang Liumei and Lao Jiang, and Qi Xiuchun lived in the same room with the new junior. Hang Liumei still stuck to her like she did when she was a girl, chatting with her and taking care of the children.

Sister Xiuchun said nothing at first, but her eyes were like dark summer clouds brewing a storm. Yingying was a talkative child, babbling and asking questions every day, a mother's little tail. Qi Xiuchun told Hang Liumei that she had taken Yingying to Lanzhou for medical treatment, and the doctor had said, "Atrial and ventricular septal defect causing mild tricuspid regurgitation." She had already undergone surgery, so she needed to be observed and rechecked for a period of time.

When Qi Xiuchun said this, he was squatting on the ground scrubbing the child's clothes. Hang Liumei looked at Yingying who was playing with soapy water with melancholy, thinking to herself that the child was so young but suffering so much.

Qi Xiuchun raised her arm and wiped the sweat from her forehead with her wrist, teasing her daughter: "Yingying? Huang Xinyun? Come, put the soap back for Mom."

Yingying turned her head and grinned, then staggered over, grabbing the wet soap with both hands and stumbling towards the iron rack in the corner. The simple iron rack was quite old. At the top was a row of hooks for hanging towels, in the middle was an enamel washbasin, and below was a small hollowed-out countertop for the soap. It seemed she remembered where it should be placed.

She was not even as tall as the washbasin. She held the bracket with one hand and one foot. The iron bracket shook. Hang Liumei was afraid that it would hit her head, so she whispered "Ouch" and wanted to go forward to help.

Qi Xiuchun held her down and told her to wait, she could do it herself.

Yingying steadied herself, shakily placed the soap on the table, and then turned back to frantically search for her mother, as if to claim credit. Hang Liumei suddenly understood the feelings of a parent. She had watched Yingying from infancy until now, accomplishing just this simple task, yet she couldn't imagine how much effort it had taken. Her nose felt sore, and she felt like crying.

Qi Xiuchun hugged her daughter tightly and praised her, "That's great, my daughter is so good." She buried her head and choked up, "It's my fault that I'm not a good mother. Why didn't I find you a good father?"

Dunhuang had been dry for two months since the beginning of summer. Today, the rain finally fell, and instead of hiding, everyone went outside under the trees to enjoy the cool breeze and the rain. Only Qi Xiuchun and Hang Liumei remained in the house. Hang Liumei finally understood why she had suddenly returned.

After leaving Dunhuang, the family of four went to Lanzhou. At first, they had nowhere to go, so Huang Hanwen lowered his face and hugged his brother-in-law to ask him for help in finding a job, leaving his mother-in-law and daughter to be taken care of by Qi Xiuchun.

After months of searching, Huang Hanwen was hired by a state-owned handicraft factory, securing his livelihood and finally having enough money to take his child to the hospital. Before Yingying's surgery, they had agreed to take the child to the hospital together, but Huang Hanwen was suddenly called away on a business trip. He lectured Qi Xiuchun, urging her to take good care of the elderly and children and support his ambitious future, becoming a hands-off manager.

The surgery didn't go smoothly, and Yingying needed to remain hospitalized for observation. Money was tight, leading to more arguments. Huang Hanwen was no longer willing to pay, and the mother and child would often discuss things in whispers around her. After Qi Xiuchun brought the child home, the reactions of both grandmother and father weren't entirely harmonious. One day, he was being critical again, and Qi Xiuchun erupted in a heated argument, ultimately forcing her to share a bed with Huang Hanwen that night.

Huang Hanwen finally spoke frankly. Medical expenses are a bottomless pit. The family needs to make a living, and they can't just let it all go to waste. The most important thing is to get pregnant with our second child, to have a son. The eldest child's illness is unpredictable, but if he can't hold on any longer, we still have a guarantee for our old age.

Qi Xiuchun kicked him off the bed, and that night the couple exchanged harsh words. Huang Hanwen pointed at Qi Xiuchun and said she had a mother who gave birth to her but no mother who raised her, a homeless jinx. Qi Xiuchun couldn't stand the argument any longer, so she pounced on him and tore his mouth, and the two began to fight.

The next day, Qi Xiuchun packed up and took her daughter on the train back to Dunhuang.

"It's hard to persuade a damned ghost with kind words. Later I thought you had reason to look down on Huang Hanwen." Sister Xiuchun took out her handkerchief and blew her nose. "When I went to your house for the New Year, you have no idea how much I envied you. At that New Year's Eve dinner, your mother threw a half-gnawed bone directly into your father's bowl, and your father picked it up and ate it. Later, when Huang Hanwen and I were having a meal, I had half a pancake left, and he took it and said he would eat it if I didn't, and that's how I fell into his trap. I guess I didn't have the luck to be born into a good family like you, but we could be like your parents, and my child could be like you. Now that's gone, there's nothing I can do."

Hang Liumei hadn't expected this to happen. She grabbed Qi Xiuchun's arm and said angrily, "Sister Xiuchun, don't worry. Huang Hanwen will come to beg you to go back sooner or later. As long as you see him, Lao Jiang and I will support you and help you give him a good beating."

Qi Xiuchun sneered at the words and looked towards the door, as if she saw Huang Hanwen stepping in, but she said, "He won't come. Do you know why he won't come? He's already found a new husband. He wants a son, no matter who gives birth to him. That woman is a doctor at the hospital where Yingying is treated, a young woman who has just started working."

"What! This bastard!" Hang Liumei was so angry that she wanted to grab a weapon and rush to Lanzhou to beat him up.

"He went to the hospital not to see his biological daughter, but to hook up with other women. I found out later and went to see that woman, but she didn't even know Huang Hanwen was married. This bastard lied to people, saying I was his sister and Yingying was his niece. Isn't that ridiculous? When she found out, she cried and begged for my forgiveness. I don't blame this woman, I hate Huang Hanwen."

"So that's why he dislikes you?"

"He doesn't know I caught him cheating," Qi Xiuchun smiled bitterly, her eyes weary. "I had planned to pretend I knew nothing after that woman found out the truth and left him. Will you look down on your sister Xiuchun? I've become a coward now."

Hang Liumei shook her head and hugged Qi Xiuchun, tears rolling down her hair: "You have suffered too much for your daughter."

"It's okay, sister. I want to endure it, but I can't. This time we had a falling out over the issue of having a son, but there won't be a next time."

After speaking their minds freely, the past evaporated like steam. Qi Xiuchun continued to live her life as usual, but Hang Liumei had a vague feeling that Xiuchun was hoping Huang Hanwen would come and take her and her daughter back. She hoped she was wrong, but she couldn't just sit back and watch Xiuchun suffer. She told Lao Jiang about these things before going to bed that night, and Lao Jiang's thick eyebrows knitted together.

"Shouldn't we do something? Sister Xiuchun suffered so much for him, and he's living a life of debauchery. Why? How about we sneak over to Lanzhou and ask him for an explanation, or go to his workplace and talk to his boss."

Lao Jiang rubbed his temples. "If Qi Xiuchun asks, I can help you in any way, but we can't act on our own. After all, they are still a legal couple and have a daughter. If you and I go to Lanzhou without telling her, it might backfire."

Hang Liumei suddenly became anxious and asked, "Then what do you say we should do? Can I just ignore it?"

Old Jiang was afraid she'd catch a cold, so he grabbed the quilt and wrapped her up. "Keep your voice down. Xiuchun's right next door, and it would be embarrassing if she heard. I didn't say I wouldn't help. Wait a couple of days and ask her what she thinks. If she's determined to get a divorce, we'll go to Lanzhou with her. If she still wants to go back, I'll go see Mr. Huang and see what he means. Is that okay with you?"

Hang Liumei lay straight and listened to him finish his words, commenting deeply, "You make sense. Let's do this next."

Before she could ask Qi Xiuchun's opinion, Huang Hanwen arrived. He had grown fatter and darker, and though his hair was greasy and his clothes wrinkled from the long journey, his demeanor was undeniable; anyone who saw him would have guessed he must have been very successful recently. He deliberately put on a forlorn expression, carrying his belongings and braving the cold stares of the crowd, he entered the courtyard. The moment he saw Qi Xiuchun, he burst into tears.

Qi Xiuchun kept his mouth tightly shut, his face ashen as he picked up Yingying who was playing on the ground and walked into the house. Huang Hanwen followed behind. Hang Liumei only heard him pinch his throat and call out "Xiuchun". The door was closed tightly, and the people outside could no longer know what happened inside.

Hang Liumei was so anxious that she was fuming. She had no intention of working and was waiting at the door with her paintbrush in hand. Her ferocious look made Lao Jiang tremble with fear. It was as if she was waiting for Huang Hanwen to show up so that she could stab him to death with a single stroke of her paintbrush.

The family of three talked behind closed doors until night, when the stars were already growing above their heads, and finally Sister Xiuchun opened the door and came out. Hang Liumei rushed forward and asked what was going on, and whether they should bring people in to chase him away.

"No need, Xiaomei," Qi Xiuchun's eyes were calm, "I'll make some porridge for Yingying. She's asleep and will definitely be hungry when she wakes up."

Hang Liumei followed her into the kitchen, looking back at the small window. It was mostly blocked by Huang Hanwen's shadow, with only a tiny ray of light leaking through the corners. He was a nightmare. Sister Xiuchun had barely woken up, and now she was about to be ripped back into it again.

Hang Liumei and Qi Xiuchun squeezed into the small, cramped kitchen. Qi Xiuchun stirred the rice porridge in the pot with an iron spoon. She stared at the dancing flames at the bottom of the pot and said to Hang Liumei, "I want to go back with him, Xiaomei. Don't blame me. Once you have a child, you can't just break up... It's not just about money. Yingying will look for her father after returning to Dunhuang. You know, she doesn't want a father like this... He just apologized to me and begged me to go back. I don't care what he has in common with me. I just want my daughter to have a complete family and to be able to recover safely. She still has surgery..."

That woman in the hospital?

I didn't say anything. I figured he came to me because he wasn't wanted anymore. Let's just forget about it.

The room was as stuffy as a steamer. Hang Liumei's sweat had soaked through her clothes, but she felt an endless sadness in her heart. She had to watch Sister Xiuchun fall into the fire pit again. She was angry, angry at Huang Hanwen, angry at Qi Xiuchun, and angry at herself.

"Lao Jiang is a good man. You two should live a good life. I'm not going to work here anymore, so I'll leave this to you. I'm sure you can do it. You're more talented than me. When Yingying grows up, I'll ask you to teach her how to paint..."

Hang Liumei pushed the door open and left, saying, "It's too hot, I'm going to change my clothes." Before she left the room, tears had already fallen.

Qi Xiuchun and Huang Hanwen were about to leave, so Lao Jiang and Hang Liumei gave them a farewell party. They'd set up a table in their little room, laid out a few dishes, and even conjured up a half-bottle of wine. Lao Jiang raised his glass to Huang Hanwen, "Old Huang, let's have a drink. Xiaomei and Xiuchun are good sisters, so we're her family. Sister Xiuchun, I consider myself your brother-in-law. Feel free to ask for help." He then tipped his glass and drank it down.

Huang Hanwen raised his glass to join in the drinking. He had been smiling the entire day, his eyebrows raised in a zigzag shape, his eyes narrowed, and the corners of his eyes were bulging. His face, which had once resembled a terracotta warrior, had taken on a comical air, like a clown in a play.

This smile made him look a little lower than usual, but the words he spoke were still crystal clear: "Xiao Hang, Lao Jiang, you've been taking care of Xiuchun all along, and I have to thank you very much. It's wrong for me to make Xiuchun run away in anger, but you also know that I'm the only one feeding four mouths in our family, and I get anxious when there's no surplus food. I was a little angry before, and Xiuchun has worked hard. Come here, Xiuchun, I'll apologize to you in front of your sister and brother-in-law."

Qi Xiuchun had just been sitting there without saying a word, but suddenly he picked up the glass and drank it all in one gulp. After that, he filled another glass and drank it down, then put the glass down on the table with a "bang": "Xiaomei, Laojiang, this is a toast to you. I hope you two are doing well, really."

That evening, the food was barely touched, and the wine was quickly consumed. While the others grew increasingly melancholic as they drank, Huang Hanwen grew more elated, boasting about his achievements at the new factory.

Seeing the three people's lack of interest, he tapped his bowl with his chopsticks and said, "Don't worry, everyone. All the problems we faced in the past were caused by poverty, but they won't happen again. Our handicraft factory has been performing well this year, and most importantly, the factory leaders value me. To be honest, I've mentioned my family situation to the factory. My daughter has a congenital heart disease and had surgery when she was less than two years old. I spent all my money on her medical treatment, and the leaders were so moved! Even the fifty-year-old man was moved to tears when I told him about it. Xiuchun, I'm very likely to be the deputy team leader, so we have to be very happy about this!"

The next day, the family of three left on the bus. Hang Liumei worried that Huang Hanwen was just putting on an act in front of them, so she tried to recall the clues in his words. The more she thought about it, the more she felt that his story from that night while they were drinking wasn't right. This bastard was clearly using his daughter's pity to win the boss's sympathy and a promotion.

Sister Xiuchun wrote to say she had arrived safely in Lanzhou and there was no need to worry. Hang Liumei, however, was kept awake by Huang Hanwen's wicked ambitions. Finally, one night, she woke up, lit a lamp, and wrote a reply. She wrote about Sister Xiuchun's difficult pregnancy and Yingying's understanding, filling two pages with details. She then lied to Huang Hanwen, saying she had been to the hospital where Yingying was being treated and had seen him appear to have an affair with a female doctor. But out of concern for Sister Xiuchun and the child, she hadn't exposed him.

Finally, she carefully wrote that she would not report this matter to Huang Hanwen's old boss. Huang Hanwen should be able to understand the slight threat hidden in this letter.

Hang Liumei knew that Lao Jiang would definitely not agree to her sending it out, and she was hesitant, so she put it under her pillow. Unexpectedly, Lao Jiang found it when he was changing the sheets. After reading it, he told her not to be impulsive and to wait for news from Sister Xiuchun.

Hang Liumei endured it for another month, then decided she should send the letter to Huang Hanwen himself at the factory. To deal with such a person, she needed to show them a warning. So, without telling Lao Jiang, she went to the county town and mailed the letter.

Another period of peace and quiet passed, and the Mid-Autumn Festival was approaching. This year, Hang Liumei planned to find time with Lao Jiang to return to his hometown in Kaifeng. At noon that day, she returned to her room to pack her luggage. When she pushed open the door, Sister Xiuchun was sitting at her desk.

"Sister Xiuchun! You're here!" Hang Liumei was overjoyed, but then she noticed her suppressed expression and asked, "What happened this time? Could it be Huang Hanwen again?"

"Xiaomei, did you send a letter?"

Huang Hanwen actually told Sister Xiuchun about his letter. Was he going to throw in the towel? Hang Liumei said, "Yes, I was trying to intimidate Huang Hanwen so that he wouldn't betray his marriage again and would live a peaceful life with you."

"Xiaomei, why are you so impatient! You know best why I do all this. We have already returned to Lanzhou, which means we can solve our own problems. Why didn't you discuss it with me first? Do you know how big an impact this letter has! It has ruined so many people's lives!" Qi Xiuchun was furious and pounded his legs hard before sitting back on the stool.

Hang Liumei hadn't expected her to come for this, and she hadn't expected her to blame herself. "Sister Xiuchun, I'm doing this because I know you've sacrificed so much! Am I wrong? Are you going to endure this forever? Are you worth it?"

"Yes! I deserve it! But now everything has been ruined by your letter." Qi Xiuchun became more and more excited as he spoke.

Hang Liumei anxiously comforted her: "Then come back, Sister Xiuchun. You can work at the institute and take care of Yingying. Don't we still have us here? You don't need him, so why do you have to live such a wronged life?"

Qi Xiuchun raised his face from his hands, looked at Hang Liumei in disbelief, and shook his head mockingly: "I was wrong, you don't understand at all. I told you my secret, but you used it as a weapon. Yingying's illness must be treated in Lanzhou. If Lanzhou can't cure it, then I will take her to Xi'an! To Beijing! What I want is time, money, and people! You asked me to come back because you have a home here, and you are too happy. So if you don't understand, then you shouldn't make the decision for me. With this letter of yours, everything is over now. Huang Hanwen is finished, that doctor is finished, and I am finished too!"

Hang Liumei was speechless after hearing the second half. Qi Xiuchun's anger and sadness were contagious to her. She stood up, wiped the tears from her face with her arm, and said loudly, "Of course I don't understand. You just want to say that you sacrificed for your daughter. If Yingying knew that you had given up your dignity and clung to men like a parasite for your whole life, would she really thank you when she grows up?"

Old Jiang rushed in, grabbed Hang Liumei, and brought her to the edge of the kang. He tried to calm the anger on both sides by whispering, "Xiaomei, you're both doing this for each other's good, so stop talking. Your words are hurtful. Let's calm down. We haven't figured things out yet..."

Qi Xiuchun stood up and interrupted Lao Jiang: "No need, you won't understand if you haven't been a parent. Xiaomei, if you gave birth to a child like me, you would be more willing to give up this shame than I am."

"I won't, Sister Xiuchun. I didn't expect you to become such a person. I'm really disappointed."

Qi Xiuchun's eyes immediately turned red. She stared into Hang Liumei's eyes, then suddenly turned around, pushed the door open and left.

Seeing Hang Liumei standing there motionless, Lao Jiang could only shout for Sister Xiuchun to chase her out. After a while, he came back and said that Sister Xiuchun had packed up her belongings and taken the research institute's truck to the county town to wait for the train.

Hang Liumei chased out crying, but Qi Xiuchun was nowhere to be found. The next time she heard from Xiuchun, it was her grandmother's anniversary celebration, and she brought her children to mourn. She deliberately avoided Hang Liumei, but ran into Lao Jiang.

Old Jiang sent word to Hang Liumei that Qi Xiuchun and Huang Hanwen had finally divorced. While she was busy treating Yingying, she also found a master craftsman to learn jewelry making. In a hurry, Old Jiang slipped her a few dozen yuan, which Xiuchun accepted. Later, the two received a large bag of local Shaanxi specialties. They followed the address to inquire about Xiuchun, only to learn that she had moved away again.

Later they lost contact. Hang Liumei often dreamed about their youth and would cry when she woke up.

In the blink of an eye, her son, Xiao Jiang, grew up. By the time he graduated from college, he and his girlfriend, Mai Sui, were deeply in love and decided to get married. At the wedding, Mai Sui called the bridesmaid "Qi Xinyun," which filled Hang Liumei with suspicion. Could they have the same name? Suspicious, the more she looked at the child, the more she resembled Xiuchun's daughter. It wasn't until she heard someone else call her "Huang Xinyun" that she was certain it was her.

Hang Liumei asked Mai Sui, and Mai Sui said that the girl was transferred to their class from high school. When she first came, her name was "Huang Xinyu", and she changed her name to "Qi Xinyu" before the college entrance examination. It seemed that her parents were divorced, and she changed her name before she became an adult.

It turns out that Sister Xiuchun and she have lived in the same city for a long time, but they have never met. From then on, Hang Liumei began to inquire about Sister Xiuchun and her daughter through Mai Sui. The thought of apologizing to Sister Xiuchun and reconciling their past grieved her heart.