Chapter 89: Flowing Light (3) Can you return Lang Er to me? ...

Six years had passed since the Jinzhou wildfire, but the nights of sweat, worry, and regret still etched a venomous venom in Yan Huinan's heart and bones. He knew he would regret the order he issued at that moment for the rest of his life.

He had already prepared himself to atone for this sin for the rest of his life.

Throughout his life, he had never fully trusted gods or the heavens and the earth; his faith had completely collapsed the year his parents died. But on the night of the fire at Jinzhou Mountain, his heart was filled with weeping and begging for help from the gods.

Have pity on him for once.

Don't let Xie Yun die.

It seemed like there really were gods in this world, merciful to the world. Xie Yun was truly still alive. For Yan Huinan, this was a once-in-a-lifetime miracle. He was deeply grateful and overjoyed.

But the miracle was fleeting, and happiness was destined to be short-lived. He was guilty, and perhaps he was doomed to never win back Xie Yun's heart. At this moment, Yan Huinan didn't feel resentful, but he was painfully pondering how to make Xie Yun happy.

Should he selfishly tie Xie Yun to his side?

But she was a treasure given to him by God...one he would never have again in his life.

He had already stopped caring about his own life after avenging his parents, but it was Xie Yun and Yan Lang who gave him the hope and desire to live.

Wealth, fame and fortune are all meaningless to him.

Only Xie Yun can save his meaningless second half of life.

If he loses this dream from now on, what will be left in his life?

Under Xie Yun's disgusted and painful gaze, Yan Huinan met her frown and slowly approached her. This time, perhaps Xie Yun had made a final decision, so she didn't avoid him.

It's like a last hurrah.

There was also a peace between them that had never existed before.

He raised his hands, clutching Xie Yun in a longing embrace. Instantly, every memory of their past flashed through his mind like a revolving lantern. Those childish, happy, sad, painful, tangled memories... they had almost filled his life for most of his life.

"Yan Yan..." Yan Huinan spoke slowly, revealing the most important thing in his life. "When I was in the capital, I was immersed in the sorrow and resentment of my parents' death. I didn't expect it was you who sent the letter to my mother. I misunderstood you for leaving without saying goodbye. I hated your father and also hated you. When I was in the palace, I didn't see through Prince Yu's disguise and left you in a dangerous vortex. It was my fault. In Jinzhou... When I didn't receive the letter from your father in Jinzhou, I..."

When talking about the burning of Jinzhou Mountain, Yan Huinan choked up several times, "I didn't know you were in the mountain... I was blinded by hatred, and my heart was full of revenge. This is also my sin. But I never gave up on you. If I knew you were in the mountain, I would rather kill myself than set the mountain on fire. Yanyan... I was wrong, I was really wrong. If possible, I am willing to spend my whole life to pay for this mistake. Yanyan... I can't live without you."

At the end, the arrogant Yan Huinan also made a humble plea.

So this is what it means when a person in a high position is humble.

But after learning the truth, Xie Yun was speechless for a long time in disbelief. A fact that had been lingering in her mind for a long time was now overturned.

"What did you say?" she asked in a trembling voice.

Before the wildfire broke out, how her father looked at her with despair, how he wrote a letter asking for peace word by word, how he asked someone to deliver the letter, and finally...how the wildfire broke out.

She has never forgotten it in these six years.

But now he actually told her that he had not received the letter at all.

"How come you didn't receive it?"

Yan Huinan held her tightly with all his might. The fear of losing Xie Yun still lingered in his heart. He was afraid that everything he saw was fake. He continued to explain, "It was Song Hongxuan. He didn't want me to stop because of you. So he intercepted the letter and ordered the mountain to be burned. I thought you were waiting for me in Langya. Yanyan, how could I choose to give up on you?"

These words contain so much information and are so impactful.

Xie Yun's mind buzzed. She wasn't sure if she should believe Yan Huinan's words. If the mountain hadn't been set on fire, and Yan Huinan had truly read the letter, he would have chosen to let go of his hatred.

What will happen to her?

Maybe she will really get together with Yan Huinan.

After all, she fainted from heartache when she heard the false news that Yan Huinan had died in battle.

How can there be no love?

People are all made of flesh and blood.

If Yan Huinan had truly given up everything in the past for her and even risked his life to save her, how could she be so cold and unwavering?

In fact, her heart had already been broken.

It's just that she almost died in that wildfire. The pain she felt when she thought Yan Huinan had abandoned her was like burning herself in a raging fire.

To this day, she still feels the same fear and trepidation from the wildfire six years ago. How could she forget the danger and heartache she felt when she narrowly escaped death?

In the end, she did not break free from Yan Huinan's embrace, but simply stated in an unusually indifferent tone a fact that was difficult to change and difficult to let go:

"But... Yan Huinan, you should know. If Xie Run hadn't shown up in time, I would have really died."

Yan Huinan remained silent in pain.

Of course he knows.

How could he not know?

He dug the dirt on the mountain with his own hands, until his fingertips were bloody and fleshy, revealing the white bones. He really thought Xie Yun was dead.

He will die too.

But God had mercy on him and gave him some hope.

Only then could he see Xie Yun again. That's why he didn't want to let go.

Xie Yun continued, "There are no ifs in this world. The current result is a foregone conclusion, the best possible outcome. We can't go back to that day and start all over again. I can't forget what happened that day. I can't forgive you on behalf of my dying self back then." Xie Yun continued, "Let me go... We've come this far, let's not look back."

Yan Huinan was stubborn and refused to let go. "No, this is not the best outcome. You haven't lived with me and Lang'er yet, and we haven't managed our family well. How can this be the best outcome? Yanyan, please, forgive me. Give me another chance... I will..."

Xie Yun turned her head away, unwilling to listen anymore.

"Yan Huinan, I have met the person I want to spend my life with, and that person is not you. It wasn't you in the past, and it's not you now. And being with you, there is always murderous intent. I've had enough of the life of escape and fear. It's too tiring. Six years before you came to Baixia, I lived a good life. I developed my career and reshaped my ideals, but when you came, everything became terrible. Do you think I want to stay in these desolate mountains today? Who caused this? If it weren't for you, I wouldn't need to come here again." Every word of Xie Yun hit Yan Huinan's heart heavily.

He had no excuse.

This unexpected disaster was indeed brought to Xie Yun by him.

But when he heard this fact, he was unwilling to accept it, "No. Yanyan, there is affection between us."

Xie Yun sighed softly, "That was in the past. I said a long time ago that our friendship was a thing of the past. It's over. Even though we appeared on the same page of a book and were recorded and written by each other, that page has passed. Even if I keep turning the pages, after so much wind, rain and sun, the handwriting will be blurred and the paper will rot. I don't love you, Ziyou. From the beginning to the end, I have never loved you. Not even the slightest admiration."

She called him Ziyou.

She rarely called him Ziyou, and always called him by his name with hostility.

But today she called him Ziyou, just like when they were little. She would call him Ziyou when she was in a good mood and when she was being polite to him.

Tonight, her tone was gentle and calm, without a trace of ripples, like a gentle knife, each blade deadly. With just one sentence, Yan Huinan was pinned to the spot.

Yan Huinan froze in place.

He knew that no matter what he did now or in the future, Xie Yun would never love him again. No matter what he did, it would be useless.

Yan Huinan never told the truth because he was afraid that even if he told the truth, Xie Yun would no longer want him.

Yan Lang was in the distance, being led by Si Wen. He couldn't hear what his parents were saying, so he turned around and asked, "Uncle Si, what is mother saying to father?"

Si Wen noticed something was wrong.

He squeezed Yan Lang's thin shoulders soothingly, "They are telling a little secret."

"Lang'er really wants to know. Dad has hugged Mom, Lang'er wants to hug Mom too."

After saying all this, Xie Yun felt Yan Huinan's hold on her gradually loosen, and she slowly pulled away. Her eyes fell on Yan Lang, who was not far away. At this moment, she had one more thing she wanted to say.

"Ziyou, after we return to Baixia, can you return Lang'er to me?"

Her voice was neither loud nor soft, but it was like another knife, stabbing Yan Huinan's heart.

Now he has completely lost all his spiritual support.

There is no Xie Yun, no Yan Lang.

He really became a shell of himself.

He opened his mouth, trying desperately to say "no", "no", "no way", "I don't want to", "I don't want to", and any other words like that.

But he just moved his dry throat but couldn't make a sound.

His previous wish was to find Xie Yun, see her living a good life, and then protect her. His goal was to hope that she would be happy.

Lang'er has never felt maternal love since he was born. He wants to see his mother so much, and after seeing his mother, he likes and admires her so much.

How could he say no and separate them from each other?

So the words of affirmation came out of his mouth before his brain could think of them, "Okay."

Little did he know that his voice had become hoarse.

Xie Yun was a little unconvinced. She had thought that this would be a difficult matter. At least she would have to go back to Baixia and negotiate with him many times before it could be done. She had just asked tentatively.

"Really?"

Yan Huinan turned around and nodded: "Yeah."