Chapter 114 Sorry!

"You should have told me then."

Ren Limeng really wanted to say "My condolences" as if nothing had happened and end this heavy topic in a decent manner, even though she could almost guess the answer to the question she missed that year.

Her goal has been achieved.

But Ren Limeng's throat seemed to be choked by something. When she was finally able to speak with a hint of bitterness, this emotion had already been expressed by her before any rational consideration.

"You will face it with me."

Chen Xingzhi looked at Ren Limeng deeply in his eyes. He stated calmly without a trace of doubt in his words, but his firm tone made Ren Limeng feel even more sad.

Standing in front of Shen Xingzhi, Ren Limeng had a blank expression on her face. She neither nodded nor shook her head. She just stiffened her neck, bit her lips tightly, and unconsciously clenched her hands into fists. She couldn't help but feel an unconcealable powerlessness in her heart.

Everyone knows that Shen Xingzhi comes from a powerful family. His mother is a nationally renowned host, and his father is a well-known wealthy businessman. He was born to win at the starting line that everyone envies.

He also has a handsome face that is recognized by everyone. An original song he sang at the graduation party became an instant hit. After becoming famous overnight, he easily stepped into the entertainment industry and became a long-lasting top star that even the controversial fan circle has reached a consensus on. He has good looks, talent, and countless traffic.

But it turns out that fate is not so unfair and kind.

Perhaps only Shen Xingzhi himself knows that behind all the enviable "blessings", he has to swallow countless bitterness and powerlessness alone.

That was the corner that Ren Limeng was shocked to realize at this moment. She could no longer hide her heartache and didn't know whether she should continue to explore the past.

"sorry."

Ren Limeng apologized again softly, trying hard to hide all the sadness and complexity in her eyes.

She didn't even know whether this "I'm sorry" was for Shen Xingzhi or herself.

Ren Limeng's heart was in a mess. For several seconds, she wanted to leave this quiet environment, as if nothing had happened.

"It's all over, Li Meng..."

Chen Xingzhi lowered his deep eyes and looked at Ren Limeng again. His cold gaze carried a warmth that Ren Limeng could not describe. He suddenly asked slowly and in a low voice about the regret that he had hidden for many years.

"Li Meng, if I had made a different choice, what would happen to us now?"

Chen Xingzhi paused, his throat rolling slightly, and he laughed softly, as if all the past had become indifferent. However, the two people looking at each other did not hear any joy in the laughter. It seemed to be filled with a silence that was even more empty than the endless night sky.

“Sometimes I wonder if what I did back then was right…”

He was only young at the time, and his only thought was to avoid involving her in all the troubles. He was young and overconfident, and always thought that he could arrange everything and would not miss anything.

But time is merciless. After experiencing the ups and downs of life, Shen Xingzhi finally understood that he was just an ordinary person with seven emotions and six desires in his heart, and it is inevitable to experience joy, anger, sorrow and happiness.

You can never keep what you want to keep.

But he was unwilling to accept it.

Chen Xingzhi felt an unspeakable impulse in his heart, hidden in every breath at this moment, hidden under all the cold eyes after seeing each other again, and buried in the memory that he thought would never throb again.

The feigned indifference and calmness could conceal the deepest fear in his heart after the reunion, but it could not fully express the helpless and endless desires in his eyes.

He couldn't miss it again.

Meeting Ren Limeng again in "Shan Hai" was a completely unexpected surprise reunion, and also a beautiful dream that Chen Xingzhi dared not even hope for in his dreams at midnight.

This time, facing any choice, he will no longer be confused and troubled.

Perhaps this was the only advantage gained from years of hard work. Shen Xingzhi was extremely confident that he finally had the power to make his own decisions.

And the only thing he desires is the person in front of him.

"sorry!"

The night is getting deeper.

Ren Limeng took a deep breath, raised her head and forced back all the tears in her eyes. She suddenly spoke in a clear and firm voice, interrupting all the deep and difficult to express subtext in Shen Xingzhi's words.

She stared intently at Shen Xingzhi's familiar black eyes. All the complexity had quietly disappeared from his eyes, leaving only the calmness and depth of stagnant water.

Ren Limeng pursed her lips, and the three short words contained no memories or fantasies, no extra explanations, and none of the responses that Shen Xingzhi expected.

On university campuses, all true feelings are expressed in words that are more cheerful than the last, so straightforward that they cannot be hidden at all; and in the mature workplace, all true feelings are revealed in the silent and deep eyes, with the decency and subtlety of adults.

The silent breeze seemed colder than ever before, carrying with it a boundless chill. Shen Xingzhi finally fell silent, and their eyes met in the suddenly silent heat of the summer air.

Chen Xingzhi could only see Ren Limeng's expressionless and calm eyes, and her firm eyes expressed a silent but clear rejection.

Just like this "I'm sorry" that seems to have no beginning or end.

Regarding what happened to Chen Xingzhi back then, Ren Limeng had unconsciously imagined countless possibilities in a short period of time. Too many questions emerged in her heart that she wanted to understand in depth, but she never opened her mouth to ask a single question.

Because, it's all over.

Now she can't answer any of Shen Xingzhi's what-ifs for her past self.

It's impossible not to blame.

I once loved you so wholeheartedly, but in the years after our sudden breakup, it was so easy for love to turn into resentment and hatred.

Ren Limeng didn't act as nonchalant as she did in front of others. Beneath all her pretense of strength, she expressed the doubts and heartaches that even Yan Fangshu had expressed countless times. Was it because the relationship in college was too deep and painful, like a roller coaster that came to an abrupt end, that made Ren Limeng dare not suffer the slightest pain of love for so many years?

Now, Ren Limeng can face Shen Xingzhi calmly in "Mountains and Seas", standing in front of him as if nothing had happened, and even mentioning the past as if nothing had happened, only because she had endured too many sleepless nights alone, and heard too much about other people's love, hatred, and grudges through hosting, and forced herself to finally look down on everything.

But she is just an ordinary person. She can complete a doctoral thesis of nearly 100,000 words in one go, but she cannot see through a relationship that has lasted for ten years.

Ren Limeng knew very well that if Shen Xingzhi continued to talk, she would definitely not be able to hold back.

No matter how calm and composed the host is, he cannot face his own problems completely calmly and at ease, and face the emotions that have long been buried in the deepest part of his memory.

The memories that Ren Limeng thought had long since dissipated suddenly surged up in every inch of Shen Xingzhi's gaze towards her, rushing towards her, making all her rationality seem so redundant.

She really wanted to reach out and hug the lonely Shen Xingzhi in front of her. Even if she just imagined his situation back then, she could already feel the heavy pressure and pain on him.

Behind that seemingly smooth and glamorous debut period, Ren Limeng couldn't imagine how Chen Xingzhi got through it.

But Ren Limeng finally just lowered her arms and clenched her hands into fists tightly. The blue veins bulged faintly under her skin, accompanied by waves of piercing pain. In the end, she did not raise her arms, let alone get even an inch closer to Shen Xingzhi.

She can't lose control now!

She must know that things are no longer the same as they were back then!

Ren Limeng couldn't imagine herself being overwhelmed by emotions. She had seen herself like that too many times in college. It might be even more chaotic than the worst situation she had anticipated before going on the show.

She kept reminding herself in her heart, forcing herself to realize that after crossing the stone bridge in front of her, turning the corner, and then passing through an alley, she would reach the recording homestay.

She will soon return to the room under 24-hour surveillance by the program crew and resume working on "Mountains and Seas" which is subject to countless shots. All the things that have been suppressed in her mind at this moment will come back to her eyes and fill her every breath.

Tomorrow's livestream is imminent, and this weekend's crucial performance is a crucial opportunity for transformation...

All of these things should naturally take precedence over her surging emotions at the moment.

Not important.

There was no need for her to indulge in fantasies about the different choices Shen Xingzhi had made ten years ago. Now that she had figured out the past, she should move forward.

"...I'll go back first."

The voice so light that it was almost ethereal slowly drifted away in the wind. Ren Limeng pursed her lips tightly, took a deep look at the tall and straight Chen Xingzhi, and finally made up her mind, and walked firmly and quickly towards the bridge.

There is no regret in making a move. No matter what the reason is, after so many years, they should not be trapped in the memories.

Ren Limeng strode forward, not daring to look back. But the moment she passed Shen Xingzhi, her eyes couldn't help but moisten again. She could only restrain herself and breathe shallowly. Her heart seemed to be pressed by a stone, depressed and heavy.

"Li Meng..."

At this moment, the soft call from Shen Xingzhi behind her seemed to be the last straw that broke the camel's back for Ren Limeng. Shen Xingzhi did not say anything more to keep her. A familiar voice mixed with too much emotion was enough to make Ren Limeng recall many past events.

He had called her name so many times, coldly, clearly, silently, helplessly, calmly, and even indulgently...

She understood the many unspoken meanings in his call, but at this moment and place, Ren Limeng could only pull the corners of her mouth with a wry smile. She paused slightly and slowed down her pace unconsciously, but did not turn around to pursue the matter.

Ren Limeng will not look back, she will only move forward firmly and bravely.

Walk through the dimly lit alleys and onto the bustling street.

When she returned to the B&B, Ren Limeng finally forced herself to adjust her state. When she opened her phone, she saw a new message that Yan Fangshu had sent her a long time ago.

Yan Fangshu: Mengmeng, I just confirmed some explosive new news!

Yan Fangshu: Although you said that for the sake of fairness, I shouldn’t tell you tomorrow’s arrangements in advance, but after thinking about it again and again, I still have to give you a spoiler first, just to give you a heads-up!

Yan Fangshu: Xu Kai is such a jerk! He called everyone at the theater today and actually persuaded Teacher Wu to join him in the rural performance tomorrow morning!

Yan Fangshu: Mengmeng, you have to be mentally prepared, you will meet your mother tomorrow!