Chapter 126 It’s just that she loves herself more

On the last day of filling out college entrance examination applications, Ren Limeng changed her first choice. It was also in the capital, also a well-known university, and also the dream of countless art students. Ren Limeng finally chose the Communication University next to the China Academy of Drama. Based solely on her academic performance, she applied for a series of majors that interested her, and then decisively checked the box to accept adjustments.

Ren Limeng opened the webpage, changed her choice of major, changed her password, and logged out of her account. She completed all the operations in one go early in the morning and then turned off the computer directly.

In the study, Ren Limeng stared blankly at the black computer screen for a long time. She sat there silently staring at her face reflected in the screen. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks like pearls that had broken off the string and dripped onto the keyboard. She tried to wipe them hard, but they kept flowing.

Too many emotions that had been struggling in her heart for too long finally burst out, and tears poured out like a flood. Ren Limeng covered herself with her hands, her shoulders trembling slightly. Every suppressed sob seemed to have exhausted all her strength. In the silent study, the girl's sadness and that trace of unspeakable sorrow lingered for a long time.

She chose to give up Huangmei Opera, not out of reluctance. The moment Ren Limeng changed her application and clicked "Confirm Submission", she suddenly realized the answer that had tormented her for more than half a year: she loved Huangmei Opera.

It has nothing to do with her parents. That is the path she has taken, the singing, reciting, acting and fighting that have been deeply ingrained in her bones, and the countless days and nights that she cannot let go of.

But she loves herself more.

How can a play be wonderful without its soul? Ren Limeng knew that she must first find herself and regain the courage to continue. Freedom is above everything else for her now. She must give it a try. Can she do it without her parents' help?

Ren Limeng felt like she was crying her heart out and had never been so miserable before. When she could no longer make any sound and the tear marks on her face had dried, she finally raised her head and looked at herself on the screen again.

When she turned on her cell phone, it was already noon. After thinking it over for an unknown amount of time, Ren Limeng finally typed out a long paragraph in the family group and sent it slowly and firmly. She raised her head, quietly looked at the pure white ceiling of the study, and slowly pressed the power button of her cell phone.

This time, she did not escape or dodge.

In the last half day before the deadline for filling out the application form, Ren Limeng informed her parents at work of her "rebellious" decision. She could imagine the storms that would follow, but no matter what, she believed in herself and had no regrets.

It seemed that only the word chaos could describe every minute and every second that followed. Wu Murong and Ren Shunan rushed back home almost immediately, trying to persuade her earnestly and harshly, but no matter how hard they tried, Ren Limeng still refused to hand over the modified password of the reporting system. She just looked at her parents stubbornly, lowered her head, and said "I'm sorry" repeatedly with red eyes.

All of Ren Limeng's explanations were just "excuses" in her parents' mouths. Even her usually gentle father Ren Shunan became anxious, but Ren Limeng finally insisted on her choice, trembling as she faced her parents' disappointed faces and all the storms of the entire summer vacation.

"Fangfang, this costume is for you."

When Yan Shufang returned from her trip, the college entrance examination application had already been finalized. Even though she already knew Ren Limeng's decision, when Yan Fangshu returned home and went to see Ren Limeng for the first time, her face still showed shock and complexity.

As soon as she entered the door, she hugged Ren Limeng tightly, as if this could give Ren Limeng more courage and hide the tears that she couldn't help but burst into tears when she saw Ren Limeng.

Wu Murong and Ren Shunan tried to persuade them countless times but to no avail. Fierce arguments became a daily routine in the family. In the end, the two of them just shook their heads and left home in despair, continuing to be busy with Huangmei Week activities. Ren Limeng, who was alone at home, suddenly saw Yan Fangshu, who came back early, and was happy from the bottom of her heart.

She took out the new costume that she had carefully preserved from the closet, and handed the clothes along with the gift box to Yan Fangshu with both hands.

"Isn't this your eighteenth birthday present from Teacher Wu and Uncle Ren? You haven't even performed in this dress yet. This gift is too valuable. I can't accept it."

Yan Fangshu kept holding Ren Limeng's left arm and did not let go even after entering the room. When she mentioned the performance, she rarely looked at Ren Limeng cautiously. Ren Limeng smiled faintly as usual, as if there was no taboo topic. Yan Fangshu finally continued to speak softly.

"Take it. My mom almost tore this dress up a few days ago. She was so crazy. Luckily, I had an idea at the last minute and said I'd give it to you! Besides, I don't even want to study opera anymore, so it would be a waste to keep such a nice dress for me."

Ren Limeng opened the gift box, and gently stroked the spotless costume with her fingers. A trace of nostalgia flashed in her eyes, but soon she raised a chic smile and stuffed the gift box directly into Yan Fangshu's arms without any hesitation.

"Mengmeng, I... always feel that you won't give up Huangmei Opera so easily."

Yan Fangshu's eyes were filled with sadness, but she still slowly raised a smile, with sincere understanding and support for her good friend.

"But no matter what, I believe you've made up your mind. Studying opera is too boring. You're not like me, who has always been half-hearted. I always thought you would keep learning. Since you can't hold on so suddenly, it must be that there's really no other way. Let's take it slow. These are just small matters! Teacher Wu and Uncle Ren will definitely understand. It's just a matter of time."

From childhood to adulthood, Ren Limeng has always been the child of other people's families in Yan Fangshu's eyes. Compared with the playful Yan Fangshu, Ren Limeng never missed practicing acting while playing and laughing. Ren Limeng never fell in love too early, nor did she like to eat, drink and have fun. Yan Fangshu did not envy Ren Limeng who was envied and talked about by her parents all day long. She just admired and loved her.

Perhaps only she, who grew up with him, understood how much Ren Limeng had lived like an ascetic monk over the years.

Yan Fangshu knew very well how much Ren Limeng cared about her parents' evaluation of her. Since she could change her major so suddenly, Ren Limeng must have been unable to tolerate it any longer.

"Fangfang..."

Ren Limeng tried hard to control every inch of muscle at the corners of her mouth, trying to make her forced smile less bitter. Although several days had passed, she still felt that everything was like a dream. Even she couldn't believe that she had actually made her choice.

"The world outside of Huangmei Opera is so huge, I want to see it too. It's just the college entrance exam. If I don't do well in college, I can come back and take the Meixiang exam after graduation. I'm such a good singer, I don't believe Meixiang will reject me!"

Suppressing the tears that kept welling up in her eyes, Ren Limeng pretended to be nonchalant and spoke in a relaxed and confident tone. She took one last look at the gorgeous costume in Yan Fangshu's hand, lowered her eyes, and slowly welcomed the warm embrace that Yan Fangshu couldn't help but open again.

"Of course! Our Mengmeng is so amazing, there's no problem! ... I'll keep this dress for you. When you go on stage again, I promise... I'll return it intact!"

The hug at this moment was not only for support and encouragement, but also to hide the expression that could not be held back. Yan Fangshu choked with sobs several times and was reluctant to finish what she said. She also used a tone that pretended to be relaxed, but the arms that were tightly hugged each other seemed to be as tight as a snake, revealing each other's deepest silent sadness.

Fourteen years later, Meishi Fanxian

"I guessed you must have been secretly practicing on the first stage, Mengmeng, welcome back!"

On Wednesday morning, during a break in recording in front of the West Market stage in the ancient city, Ren Limeng communicated with the program director Dong Zhu. After Dong Zhu left, Ren Limeng asked for a five-minute break from the program crew. She immediately turned around and walked towards Yan Fangshu who was waiting silently on the side. She noticed the big gift box Yan Fangshu was carrying at a glance.

"I heard you've been cast as the lead actress in the Fanhua Troupe's competition, Mengmeng. You're amazing! You've completely shocked the entire Meixiang area. Now everyone in various small groups is going crazy about you challenging top actors from the three major troupes. I found an excuse to sneak over to see our news anchor, hoping to interview her about her feelings at the moment."

Yan Fangshu looked at Ren Limeng with a sly look and a teasing tone in her voice.

"The person involved is really panicking right now. He's only five hours away from going on stage, and he has to do a live broadcast in between. The preparation time is too short."

Ren Limeng looked at Yan Fangshu with a smile. Even though she was speaking in panic, her voice was still calm and confident, as if all difficulties could be easily solved.

"But we, Mengmeng, are sure it'll be fine! Mengmeng, didn't you practice 'The Female Imperial Concubine' for Teacher Wu's birthday on Friday? I think you should sing that piece this afternoon, right in front of everyone, so that Teacher Wu and Uncle Ren know that you haven't given up on Huangmei Opera all these years."

Yan Fangshu's voice was filled with some melancholy and encouragement. Over the years, she had witnessed Ren Limeng's growth bit by bit, and she understood too well the hardships behind Ren Limeng's effortless smile today. She felt sad for her, but also proud of her.

"It's not that I haven't given up, I just practiced sporadically, mainly because I was bored a lot of the time."

Ren Limeng pursed her lips slightly as she explained, and her eyes suddenly looked to the right of Yan Fangshu.

Even though she knew Yan Fangshu could see through her awkwardness at a glance, Ren Limeng still couldn't frankly admit that she hadn't given up.

Huangmei Opera has long been hidden deep in the most bitter part of my heart. Over the years, it has become more and more fresh. The influence of this word on Ren Limeng is even far greater than that of "Chen Xingzhi" who has been tossing and turning for many years.

Ren Limeng had already rehearsed "The Female Prime Minister" for Friday, but she didn't want to tell her parents that she had not given up. After so many years of arguments and cold wars with her family, Ren Limeng had never played the emotional card of Huangmei Opera. She now practices the opera only for herself, and acts only to be true to her heart.

Time flies, and all the worries at the age of eighteen finally have answers. Ren Limeng now only hopes that she and her parents can move forward.

Home is like the homemade baosu by my parents. This Meishi specialty is salty, fragrant and crispy, but if you eat too much, it will become bitter and sticky to your teeth, and you will feel greasy. However, no matter how greasy it is, you will never forget it.

"Anyway, Mengmeng, I'm very happy that I can see you sing Huangmei Opera again."