0079 Encountering a Star (2)

I never expected that my father would come to see me again that winter.

I have been enrolled in the J City Experimental School for two months and have gradually adapted to the winters in D Province, which are even colder than those in B City.

My dad came to pick me up and take me back to City B for the Chinese New Year.

I hadn't seen him in a long time, and he seemed thinner and darker. For some reason, I felt a secret delight at this discovery, because the nanny had also said a couple of days ago that I was getting thinner and thinner.

I'm so happy to be going home. I haven't seen my grandpa, second uncle, and aunt in a long time, and maybe my sister will come back from America for the New Year too. But the most important thing is that little bit of wretched expectation in my heart.

I think maybe my dad misses me a lot and wants to bring me home.

Yes, for me at twelve, that empty villa in D province certainly couldn't be considered home, even though it had all the necessary household items. Although a few years later, the appearance of someone made me feel that it could be my final destination, right now, I longed to return to my father's side and didn't want to be thrown back into that big house.

That was the first time I realized that going back to my own home could be nerve-wracking, and being with my family could be unsettling. I didn't even dare to look at my father's face; that unfamiliar feeling made me even more anxious.

I tried to comfort myself, but it was no use. My father and I were stopped right outside Grandpa's study. The guard told my father that Grandpa wasn't receiving guests that day. He seemed to be talking to my father, but his gaze fell on me, who wasn't very tall yet.

My father nodded to the guard, took my hand, and settled me in the tea room on the first floor.

I've never been here before. Of course I've never been here before. Back then, I was my grandfather's beloved grandson. Now... I can't say for sure, but through the open door, I saw my father go into my grandfather's room after I left.

The guard did not stop him.

That day, I didn't see my grandfather when I left, and I didn't even have a chance to say "Happy New Year" to him. I didn't see my second uncle, my aunt, or my sister who was studying abroad. We didn't even have a reunion dinner before we left.

I was a little reluctant to leave, perhaps because he was afraid I would be too depressed. My father bent his tall body to face me so that I could look him in the eye.

But I didn't look him in the eye. I was afraid I would cry. My dad had told me when I was little that he hated little boys who cried easily. I had finally gotten to see him, and I absolutely couldn't let him hate me even more. So, I stubbornly refused to look at him.

After a long while, I heard a soft sigh.

Dad stuffed a thick stack of red envelopes into my arms, gently pushed my back and said, "Let's go."

The tears I had held back for so long finally fell because of those two words.

Hot tears fell onto the bright red envelope, blurring into a dark, scalding color. I dared not look back, nor did I want to move forward.

Fortunately, my father didn't criticize me that day; instead, he took my hand.

My father's hands are rough, warm, and dry.

But when my hand was held, I felt the warmth gradually slipping away.

At the end of winter in 2001, I reminisced about the events of that summer.

Because of my own actions, I lost my mother and brother. As a result, I also lost my father, grandfather, sister, and other relatives.

There is no love in the name of punishment that makes someone stand in the corner for their mistakes, because as a despicable survivor of a disaster, I deserve to be left in the endless darkness.

At that time, I thought I no longer deserved to be loved.

But I never expected that I would meet Lingling.